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Moderated by :  Eva Rosenberg  mailto:laugh@taxmama.com

Assisted By :   Gunjan Saraf   mailto:laugh@taxmama.com

11  April 2001    #  002
A child of five  could understand this.
Fetch me a child of five! ~Groucho Marx


Moderator  Comment
                    ~ Gunjan Saraf
Humor Worked for me!

A Unique Sales Call
                   ~  Dan Seidman

                    ~ Your Favorite Punster

                     ~ An Irrepressible Tease
Requests for Help!

Playful  Prayers
             ~ Your Favorite Punster
Useful Humor Tips
~ Monkeying Around

Hello Friends,

All of you who are Helpdeskers know about Eva's jury duty problem. As if she
hadn't got enough on her plate already. So can we have some suggestions on creative excuses for avoiding jury duty. Your posts maybe serious, funny
or seriously funny.

But send them doublequick!




=====  Humor Worked for me ! =====

======> A unique sales call

From Dan Seidman

She would not take my calls or return them. I could not get an appointment with this CFO. She managed the financial present and future of one of the largest hospitals in Chicago and I had a great new service she would want.
I almost gave up after having been ignored for two months.

Then I remembered the coconut!

I dug into my guerrilla marketing file and found the brochure from a Hawaiian company that mailed coconuts. They wrote your message on them in black marker. I placed my order and sent it off with the words, "You're a tough nut to crack."

A week later my phone rang and all I heard was laughter as I answered.

"I'm sitting here at my desk and my secretary and I are dying laughing," the CFO said. "When would you like to come in?"

It worked! An action that was totally unexpected, but perfectly logical ("You're a tough nut to crack.") had gotten me in.

Dan Seidman
Dan Seidman, the War Correspondent of Selling
Sales Horror Story Library, read 'em and weep (or laugh)

===> Insulted!

Dear Friends,

While leading a pack of Medical Representatives, especially new trainees, the most common problem I used  to face, was that the reps used to feel as if
the Doctor's didn't treat them  with any respect or dignity. They felt waiting hours outside to meet a Doctor was insulting.  Fortunately I had my favorite
salesman story for  them.

This young salesman after just 2 days at the job walks into the sales managers office (Who has had over 25 years of selling and gradually risen to manager) and says "Sir, I'd like  to resign, I've been insulted at
the job."

The old man asks the young man to be seated and then adds "I have no problem with the resignation, if you want to leave, sure you can leave. But out of my personal curiosity, can I ask you a question before you go."

Without waiting for an answer he carries on ..."I've been selling for over 25 years now. I've sold on phone. I've been door-to-door. During all this time, I've been called names. My parents have been called names, I was once even kicked down 2 flights of stairs, and yet no one has yet been able to 'INSULT' me... How did they manage to insult you in just two days?"

I don't know how the young salesman in the story reacted but most of the young men working with me would break into a grin and say... "Got the idea, Let's go get the next Doctor!"

Gunjan  Love Pun-gent humor ? -> http://on.to/puns
Not a site seer ? -> pun-subscribe@topica.com
                                Weakly trash in your mail

===> Flirting

As many of you know, I'm a shameless flirt. What you don't realize is that I'll flirt with anyone - man, woman, child, adult, waitress, customer service folk,
even IRS agents.

No, it doesn't mean that I 'come on' to anyone, or even imply sexual interest. It does mean that I tease with them, flatter them, look them in the eyes and
give them 100% of my attention. And I listen. In short, I make them feel really attractive and good about themselves. And do you know what? We both walk away feeling great!

Now, remember, my work takes me to IRS audits quite frequently. So, here's a little tale that might surprise you.

Last year, an entertainment industry client was being audited. Most of the $50,000+ expenses listed on his return were all cash - no receipts.  So, I knew we were in trouble.

With the way the scheduling at IRS works, often, the audit is not assigned to an auditor until that morning. So, until you get there, you don't know who you've drawn. When my client's name was called, and I looked up, I was totally relieved. This woman was someone I'd worked with before - and we gotten on famously!

Nancy (let's call her that) and I were laughing and catching up on the way to her desk. When we sat down, I started out by telling her the truth - "Let's just
save time since I know you're either going to be upset with me - or laugh at me. Which would you prefer to do?"  Yes, you're right, she couldn't help laughing.

Then, after I told her what I didn't have, I outlined what I did have. This client was a sports announcer, who'd outwitted himself by being on contract instead of on payroll - so the poor fool had to pay all his own expenses. To make matters worse, he had to travel to at least three locations each week - at his own expense. So, by the time he got done spending all that money, his wonderful contract was not so wonderful anymore. By the time I got through with this part of the intro, with elaborations of course, she was laughing
so hard, tears were rolling down her face.

And she was incredulous when she saw my documentation. You see, the biggest part of my proof of his travel expenses were - the postcards he had faithfully sent me each week from the little towns he'd been to - with his
humorous comments on the back. Add that to a couple of TV guide pages, showing his name...and, all right, a really nice, neat, detailed outline showing how many times/week he'd traveled and the average costs for
airfare, hotel, meals, tips, etc.

By the time we got done playing - Nancy had accepted ALL his expenses and called it even.

But she told me that the day before she'd met with a CPA who'd had an almost identical situation with his client. The CPA was overbearing, rude, treated her as though she were ignorant, yelled the 'Cohan Rule*' at her -
spat out tax code numbers, and was generally unpleasant.

Nancy confided that if the CPA's client had come in alone, she might have worked with him to accept his cash expenses. He seemed like such a nice, reasonable guy. But, his CPA cost him the audit. She denied most of the expenses, forcing him to go to Appeals.

Nancy freely (OK, laughingly) admitted that my attitude and treating her like a thinking, knowledgeable professional made all the difference in her decision.

[If she had denied the expenses,..being the brilliant, talented, trained, educated professional that I am, I'd have won the my client's case in Tax Court. And can you imagine how much extra the client would have to pay for that win? This TaxMama doesn't come cheap!]

*Cohan Rule - named after the great, late singer, comic and Vaudevillian, George M. Cohan (Give my Regards to Broadway) - Clearly, he was on the road all the time, paying for hotels, trains, meals, props, supplies, etc. But he kept no receipts. (And where would he keep them all, always being on the road?!)

So, his lawsuit against IRS established a precedent requiring IRS to accept undocumented expenses where the situation is obvious, reasonable and the expenses are common-sense under the circumstances. (Yes, there's more to this, but...why bore you?)


 =====  Requests for Help ! =====

At the school that I help out we (a group of  6-8) normally gather for lunch. It is a practice that a different person  say Grace before the meal.

Even though the people who say the prayer are different the prayer was almost always routine and same. Getting 'fed up' with 'bless this food to our bodies', I decided to experiment a bit at my  turn.

On my next turn, I started with Dear God, isn't this language you have  given us strange... We can call you Father, or God but if we said Godfather it would
have a totally different meaning.

The next time I brought up the story of how I think of God every time I see a cow in the field ... cause with all our advances in technology we haven't even come close to making a machine that can turn grass into milk.

I don't how much God enjoyed these prayers (He must have, if He didn't have a sense of humor would create something like me? :-) but the group down here loved it. Now they have to come to expect something very different every time its my turn.

Consequently ...my turn SEEMS to be coming faster and faster.

I'm running out of ideas.... Suggestions anyone!!

Thanks (in anticipation and prayer :-)

Gunjan  Love Pun-gent humor ? -> http://on.to/puns
Not a site seer ? -> pun-subscribe@topica.com
                                Weakly trash in your mail

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Useful Humor  Tips~~~~~~~~~~~

A favorite story of my friend Akash Ryall. He loves to  include it in any of his speeches when he wants to try and show you the  importance of dedication to your work or duty.

A team had just  won a Rugby match and were on their way to a picnic along with their mascot a monkey. On the way they had an accident and everyone except the monkey died. An animal psychologist was brought to try and gather the cause of accident from the monkey.

The monkey was quite sharp and gave answers brilliantly with actions.

What were the players doing?
{laughing, drinking}

What was the driver of the bus doing?
{laughing, drinking}

What were you doing?

If you do decide to use this story, take a leaf out of Akash's book and do the actions mentioned in brackets before mouthing  them.

Playing golf  in Florida, when your drive
goes into the lake, don't yell fore.
Yell Gore and it does not count !

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