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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:laugh@taxmama.com
Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf mailto:laugh@taxmama.com
http://www.workinghumor.com
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18 March 2001 # 003
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The floggings will continue till the employee morale improves.
~HR Directive, XYZ Inc.
IN THIS DIGEST :
Moderator Comment
~ Gunjan Saraf
_____________________________
Humor Worked for me!
More Botanical Sales Calls
~ Dan Seidman
Asking for the Dough
~ Your Outrageous Flirt
Explaining Pricing with Humor!
~ Your Favorite Punster
_________________________________
Responses
God's Sense of Humor
~ Linda Dorfmont EA
_________________________________
Useful Humor Tips
~ Is it Plugged in?
_______________________________________________________
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Hi Friends,
You'll be glad to hear that we're off to a flying
start. The subscriptions are rolling in ...
( Though a few of us don't seem to have read the
welcome letter. Why else would the subscriptions
come in, in multiples of 3 instead of multiples of 5?:-)
The posts are beginning to come in too, making
it feel more like a discussion....
(We got a post about jury duty excuses, from a person who wouldn't like to be named, who
suggested that Eva say she belonged to a strange secret sect, which meditated through the month
of April. If she didn't follow the system she would be expelled from the sect, thus infringing her rights and
placing her under severe stress and conflict between her faith and country. Well Eva did try that, she did
explain that she belonged to a sect of tax professionals who though not secret are definitely strange. And that
if she didn't meditate on inexplicable matters like taxes for March and April she would be expelled. However the weird legal sect didn't follow this explanation ;-).
Last but not the least we got our first sponsor... (Good for us we got a sponsor with a sense of humor.
Notice his copy. Running out of ink is no laughing matter. I'll vouch for that having once run out in the middle of the night.
Right in the middle of an urgent job. Then having gone to my suppliers house at 11 pm and woken him up to get my ink,
I agree with Phillip completely. How bout checking whether he has what you need at a more decent hour, like Now! :-)
Gunjan
www.jestforpun.com
coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak
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===== Humor Worked for me ! =====
===> More Botanical Sales Calls
From Dan Seidman
<salesautopsy@home.com>
I decided to try something similar when I needed a fast filing of some documents for a government office with the State of
Illinois.
The woman who managed that government department was a tyrant. She was blunt and wielded her power with sledge-hammer like
rudeness.
I walked into the office and told her what I needed and that I needed it right away. She scowled and began to shake her head.
From behind my back I produced a plant. "I know that we've
never met before, but the people you normally deal with told me that
you were a hard-nosed, but hard working dragon, that you were awful to rub shoulders with, so I thought that it would be
appropriate to give you a plant that reflects your
personality."
I handed her the cactus.
She laughed and laughed and laughed. "It's true! That's me.
This is perfect."
I got my paperwork handled on the spot.
Dan Seidman
---
Dan Seidman, the War Correspondent of Selling
http://www.SalesAutopsy.com
Sales Horror Story Library, read 'em and weep (or laugh)
(Moderator's comments - Those who've joined us recently may be wondering what Dan is referring to when
he says "try something similar". Refer to his last post http://www.workinghumor.com/archives/issue02.htm
He had sent us both together but we didn't want any of you to die laughing so we split it for you)
===> Asking for the Dough
Two of the things I've consistently had a problem with are asking for money and asking for what I'm worth.
In working for other tax offices, I've noticed that they spend a great deal of time on accounts receivable -
invoicing, sending out statements, trying to collect. And they often average 60 - 120 days on some of the
receivables.
Being a small office, I knew I couldn't afford that. So, I had to devise a way to a) Charge enough - and
b) collect payment on the spot.
And...
c) convince 'friends' that I expected to get paid for the work.
Although I rarely need to use this anymore...this helped me break the ice - people understand this
concept.
My sessions with my tax clients often also include deeply personal and emotional issues and counseling.
I started to tell my clients, as we finished up the work - "Well, my friend, are you feeling satisfied
now? Have I made you feel good?"
Of course, the answer was always an enthusiastic, "Yes!"
"Well, then, like any good whore, I'd like to get paid now, not later." And, naturally, this was so
unexpected, it would have them laughing the whole
time they wrote the check.
And if they asked me, "How much?" I would tell them, "This is what I would charge you, but if you
want to pay me more, tips are most welcome."
Quite often, they'd just add an extra $50 or $100, still laughing.
Eva Rosenberg.
http://taxmama.com
http://workinghumor.com/
http://outrageousflirt.com
===> Explaining Pricing with Humor!
Dear Friends,
Most often the point of maximum debate with your customer is your pricing. I have found that
quite often instead of directly trying to explain quality, no discounts etc., changing the topic a
little, telling a joke, which gives the idea,
throwing an odd analogy can be most useful.
Here are two of my favorite pricing jokes -
A technician is called to repair a huge mainframe computer which is down. He looks around for 10-15 minutes, pulls
out a little hammer from his toolbox, and gently taps the computer and the machine immediately starts working perfectly.
Everyone is happy till the technician's bill arrives... $1001
The company manager is enraged, sends a note $1001 for a little tap with a hammer. The technician replies ...
"One $ for the tap, $1000 for knowing where and how to tap it."
~~~~~~~
A person is told by the dentist that he has to have his tooth extracted.
Client - "How much will it cost ?"
Dentist - "A $100"
Client - "How long will it take ?"
Dentist - "Less than 5 minutes, sir !"
Client - "Do you realize that works out to over $1200 an hour?
This is ridiculous!"
Dentist - " Well sir, if you prefer, I could make it
as painfully slow as you want!!"
~~~~~
Hope these little tales help you get the idea across to your clients, that you are a professional, know
exactly what you are doing, and that is what he/she
is really paying for !
Gunjan
=========== Responses! ==========
====>God's Sense of Humor
From Linda Dorfmont EA
<DORFMONT@aol.com>
He tells me jokes.
I was sitting in a seminar getting very bored when I noticed that one of the lights on the wall
near my seat was flickering. I said to God: "Your light is having a little trouble over there."
He replied: "My light is perfectly all right, Engineer. It's your lamp that has the problem."
Linda Dorfmont EA
Fellow, Institute of Industrial Engineers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Useful Humor Tips~~~~~~~~~~~
Service people often have a hard time. For most of us the line " It works better if its plugged" is a joke,
for them its unfortunate that so many people don't realize this is supposed to be true too.
When you get called on these irritating silly calls, it helps to remember these kind of jokes ... don't tell them,
just remember them and smile to yourself. ... Read on !
~~~~
Young Judy was having trouble with her computer. So she called Tony, the computer guy, over to her desk.
Tony clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."
A puzzled expression ran riot over Judy's face. "An ID Ten T Error? What's that ... in case I
need to fix it again??"
He gave her a grin..."Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?"
"No," replied Judy.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
(She wrote...) I D 1 0 T
-------------------------------------------------
"I didn't say it was your fault.
I said I was going to blame it on you."
~ Your Boss.
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I
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