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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:email@example.com
Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
25 April 2001 # 004
Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining
individual profit without individual responsibility.
~ "The Devil's Dictionary" by Ambrose Bierce.
IN THIS DIGEST :
So You Want to Stiff ME!?
~ Eva Rosenberg
Innovative Tax Deductions
~ Your TaxMama
Lessons in Bluffing
~ Gunjan Saraf, Your Favorite Punster
Requests for Help!
Is this Serious?
~ Your Favorite Punster
Useful Humor Tips
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I want to welcome all the new subscribers - and remind you all that you are
welcome to share your comments, tips and suggestions - and most of all, your questions about how to make a situation work.
And a big thanks to a man who took a financial risk to support us - Phillip McKinney of
- our very first
advertiser. My hat's off to you!
Oh now, that's really cute - there's a little butterfly floating about on his site - and if you
click on it - well, you'll have to go look.
Interestingly enough, having just been listening to the speakers at http://affiliateforce2001.com/
, several of them said that one of their most lucrative
sources of affiliate income was selling toner cartridges on their sites - and wouldn't you know it -
MaxPatchInc.com has an affiliate program. How clever.
And speaking of humor, we were, weren't we? Sometimes, you need to plan the humor or jokes you inject. Other
times, you simply need to have a sense of the absurd. During the three days of the cruise in the Caribbean
Seas, we spent a great deal of time laughing. I honestly can't tell you what the jokes were...or at
whose expense. (Could it be that they were laughing at the impromptu-appointee-mistress-of-ceremonies,
yours truly? Or at Shawn Collins's karaoke rendition of New York, New York? Or at Rick Bier winning the
loudest shirt contest?)
Yes, we had a wonderful time on the Majesty of the Seas. But we learned a great deal, too. What did we
learn, you ask? Aaahhh...this is the wrong forum for
that. You'll simply have to drop by the HelpDesk
to pick up the affiliate marketing tidbits. (Of course, the guys from VideoSolutions.com did
videotape much of the event, so I'm sure there will
be a tape floating about somewhere...)
Incidentally, in honor of my great success as impromptu-appointee-mistress-of-ceremonies at the
last two AffiliateFORCE events, Herby Olschewski has finally concluded that he had to make it
official - Eva Rosenberg will be Mistress of Ceremonies for AffiliateFORCE2002! Whew, this is
longest audition I've ever been on.
Is there a lesson here?
* Persistence pays.
* Be in the right place at the right time.
* Somebody's got to do it, might as well be me.
* Just go ahead and do it. They'll think it's your job.
Frankly, that last little secret probably got more people more promotions than anything in the employee
handbook. I've seen people (including myself) just
step in and take care of a task or a job that needed to be done. Suddenly, it comes to the attention of
management (gee, how did that happen <g>) - and voila! a promotion or raise!
Get out there and make someone laugh!
Your Guide to Laughter
P.S. Did you know that the cartoon changes each day?
===== Humor Worked for me ! =====
====> So Want to Stiff ME!?
Several years ago, a contractor who had not filed tax returns since 1986 came to hire me to get caught
up (IRS was nipping at his heels). The first few years were not a problem, since he'd had a job and
W-2 income. But the last 5 years, he'd been in business and needed bookkeeping for all those years
before I could even start on his tax returns.
I suggested that he'd save a bundle if he would spend some of his evenings and weekends doing the books
himself. But, he insisted that he'd rather pay me to
do it. So, I collected a retainer, and gave up MY evenings and weekends, so _I_ could get it done for him.
I prepared the returns; got the taxes down as low as
possible - in general did a great job for him.
Come time to pick up the work...he didn't have his checkbook. But his wife's office was right across the
street, so he'd go get her credit card and return immediately.
Well....guess what???? He didn't. And he stopped returning my phone calls. I wasn't upset. Actually,
I was quite amused. Just think about it. When I took him to small claims court - he didn't even
bother to show up. So, I won the case. Now, to collect.
The 30-day waiting period in which he could protest ended. Then, I blithely instructed the marshall's office
to attach all his bank accounts and his wife's paycheck.
I finally heard from him. And wouldn't you know it, he was furious! How dare I attach his wife's check and
his bank accounts? But, he was ready to pay the bill.
I ended my written response to him with one sentence:
"Why would you ever be foolish enough to stiff the ONE person who knows your social security numbers,
bank account numbers and exactly what and where all your assets are?"
====> Innovative Tax Deductions
Hi Friends, Take a look at this...
The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had reported
a net profit of $80,000 for the year.
"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family
helps out, the place is only closed three days a year.
And you want to know how I made $80,000?"
"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda
for you and your wife."
"Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "I forgot to
tell you - we also deliver."
contributed by http://taxmama.com/moneyfunnies/
====> A Lesson in Bluffing
Learned this lesson in bluffing while I was still in school and it has helped me tremendously through my
career. I was passing the Bangalore Palace with my
uncle and there was a huge crowd outside. A passer-by told us there was a movie shoot going on involving
India's top stars at the time.
Suddenly, my uncle gets this flash that he would like to take a peak. I wonder how on earth he'll get in as
there is a huge crowd being held back by Security Guards.
Uncle smiles, winks and says - "Just keep you mouth shut and watch me." He drives up to the guards in a rush,
honking with irritation at the rest of the crowd. He stops, just before the guards would have stopped him, and
beckons to the most senior looking guard with his finger. Before the guard has really arrived at the window Uncle is
yelling at him .... "Has Ramaswamy arrived?" The guard
looks lost and asks who Ramaswamy is. Uncle then blasts the hell out of him. You don't even know the cameraman's
name and with so many people blocking the gates no wonder Ramaswamy is late everyday. Adding that he better let
Ramaswamy in quickly, he drives straight in. Later that evening I'm talking to my uncle and saying its great that
he knew Ramaswamy. "Ramaswamy Who?" he asks.
coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak
=========== Requests for HELP! ==========
====>Is this Serious?
Got the following message from 3-4 different sources. I'm not sure whether this is the correct forum for this
or I should have asked in AskTaxMama. But will you
please clarify if this is serious!
The IRS has enacted the following Income Tax Form for the year ending 12/31/2000:
1. What was your Total income in 2000?
2. Send it to us.
=========== Helpful Humor Tips ==========
Akash, Principal of Bethany High <http://www.bethanyhigh.net>
used this little
incident to introduce an eminent panel of guests at the school recently....
There was this Professor of Physics, who had just propounded a new theory. He must have delivered the
same speech on his new theory a 100 times.
His driver used to joke with him that by now, he, too, knew the speech now word for word.
On the next speaking assignment as the professor was feeling a
little under the weather he decided to take up his driver about his joke and asked him to change places
with himself and deliver the speech.
The driver had not boasted idly. He knew the speech absolutely word for word .... including the concluding
"Does anyone have any questions?".
The moment he said that he knew he was in trouble. But he managed to keep his cool. One of the students
asked a really hard question. The driver looked at him
with disdain and said "That's such a simple question.... I'll let my driver answer it"
Akash then went on with, if you have any queries tonight don't even look at me. I'm just the driver.
Ask our eminent panel consisting of .........
I never did a day's work in my life.
It was all fun. ~Thomas A. Edison
Inventor, Entrepreneur, Founder of GE
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