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I-Laugh - Your   'Working'  Humor Discussion List
Moderated by  :   Eva Rosenberg  mailto:laugh@taxmama.com

Assisted  By  :   Gunjan Saraf   mailto:laugh@taxmama.com


 30  May 2001    #    009
Hark! I hear a beep!
Somewhere a newborn machine
cries for attention.
(101 Corporate Haiku)


 Moderator Comment
Silence is golden?
Old Threads

Reptilian Eggs

Humor in training
           ~ Gunjan

 Team Work
          ~ Eva Rosenberg

Twisted Clichés
          ~ Gunjan

 Image is All
          ~ Eva Rosenberg
New Discussions

 Humorous Quotations
          ~ Gunjan

 Reassessment of First Impressions
         ~ Eva Rosenberg
  Useful  Humor Tips

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 Moderator's  Message

Dear  LaughMates,

We didn't get a single reply to our
"Do you care" post. This could have got
us down and felt no one cares. But then, the
best think about a humorous outlook to work
(and life) is that you get a highly positive
outlook. So we're going to assume that
you couldn't write cause you ran out of
ink. And you're going to be buying it in
barrels making our sponsor Phil and in turn
 us extremely happy.

Also, as Thomas Carlyle, the great Scottish
Philosopher said - "Silence is as deep as eternity,
speech as shallow as time." So thanks for showing
us how much you care with your silence.
Isn't it true Silence is Golden! :-)

Best Wishes,
Your Grinning Moderator

 =====  Old Threads =====

====> Reptilian eggs

Hi Friends,

This is with reference to last week's
'Know your Audience' post.

I bumped into Dr Santosh (the ecology PHD) again today.
I naturally bumped off Eva's "which came first, the reptile
 or the egg" question.

He was amused, but had a pat reply. The reptile of course.
He started explaining how reptiles again evolved from
non-egg laying species so the egg was very low on the
evolutionary scale. He then frowned and added actually
that's not very scientifically accurate. The reptiles evolved
from amphibians which do lay eggs but very different from
the hardshelled stuff we're familiar with. Going back to fishes
they have eggs too so we'd have to go earlier than that too.

However the basic logic is that there were other means
of reproduction much before the egg so this would be a
losing question however far back we took it.

He then grinned and said .... "For scientific circles the
question you are looking for is - 'Which came first
matter or energy?' Now that's something which
Stephen Hawking is currently working hard at."

He's also lent me an amazing book so be prepared
for some amusing scientific tales.

BTW - Dr Santosh after years of following elephants
and researching them is now creating his own. (No he
isn't into genetics or cloning, his company is into
animation :-) Seriously they are into corporate
presentations and websites. You can check them out
at www.intellimediatech.com

www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you !

====> Humor in Training!


This is in response to Scott Simmerman's post
in I-Laugh #05

> Anyone out there doing anything similar? Any good
> stories or punchlines/quotes that we could add?

I had the honor of attending one of Mr. Srivatsa Kadaba's
sessions on change management. He had an absolutely
fantastic story (At least I think so :-)

He was discussing Working in Teams. He started with a
couple of questions. His first question - "If you're
working with a team, how hard should you work? How
much effort should you put?"

The most common reply was that everyone should definitely
put in 100%. (The exceptions were a couple of smart alecs,
yes, me included, who had Yogi Berra answers - Give 95%
in the first half and the other 50% in the second half)

Srivatsa didn't comment on the answers as to whether
he felt the answers were correct or wrong and moved on. He
asked us if we knew what a bullock cart is. (It is a goods
vehicle in India, normally  drawn by 2 bulls or oxen.)
He then wanted us to imagine that a particular bullock
cart has 1 young and strong bull capable of pulling the
cart at around 15 mph. The other is a very old and sick
bull who under any circumstances cannot move above mph.

He then asked at what speed would that cart move.
A huge number of people tried to work out the
average and gave answers between 6-9 mph. Having
enjoyed riddles and trick questions for a long time
and being a keen listener I knew the answer to that
one mph (notice the 'under any circumstances').

 Now in the above scenario just imagine the frustration
of the young bull if he puts in 100% effort. He would
 go raving mad. The only way he could be happy in this
 case scenario is if he relaxed, whistled a tune to
 himself and took things very very easy.

 A neat example to prove a great point! Without the
example if he'd have told me how much effort you
should put in depends on the circumstances, I'd
have thought he was nuts.

 Hope this is helpful.
http://www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you!

 ===> Team Work

During my the course of my graduate work, most of the
courses were built around teams. In each class, the
students were broken up into teams of three or four.
Then, we had to spend the semester working on projects
together. And our grade depended on the work of the
entire team.

I'll admit that, at first, it was daunting. Being
used to doing a great job and getting 'A's, I was
quite apprehensive about having my graduate degree
depend on the work ethic of others. Particularly,
since, in my experience, most students were slackers.

But, we had no choice. It was made clear to us that
part of our grade was dependent on our learning to
work as part of a team.

And this is Mr. Srivatsa Kadaba's comments come into
play. He is right. It would not have made sense for
each of us to put out 100% in all areas.

 For me - I hate the drudgery of research, and I was
not much of a typist.

  Chuck - couldn't write to save his soul, but he had
a secretary who could type our project and he had
access to the computer lab.

  Jerry - also dreaded writing, but he was great at
doing research.

  Janice - was ok at research, but she was skilled
at compiling and analyzing the data.

 So, finding each of our strong points, we were able
to take our projects and make each one a huge success.

I felt that I got the best of the deal - they did all
the work and all I had to do was write. I was so
amused at how I'd conned them all.

Oddly enough, each of the others felt the same way.

Boy, did we hoodwink each other!

Each of us were relieved from tasks we hate - and each
of us felt the part of the project we got was the
easy part.

Now that's how to build a great team.

Your comic guide,
Eva Rosenberg

====> Twisted Clichés!

Hi Mates,

Surprise! It's me again!!
This time is with reference to the moderator's
comments last week on clichés.

Although clichés are the worst things to use
in humor I think twisted clichés are the coolest.
The audience hears the beginning, thinks you're
go with a clichéd cliché and is groaning already,
when you knock them out with a twisted cliché.

Here's my favorite (perfect to use at any sports
event) {in Murphy's Laws we call it -
The Kournikova Theory }

It's not whether you win or lose,
it's how you look playing the game.

WZ-ard of Humorous Quotes

===> Image is All

And let's face it, appearance is everything.
Here in California, there is an entire industry
built up around image and 'colors.' Those with
high business goals do take the time to learn
how to 'dress for success.'

Recently, I was a speaker at a bank event. The
other two speakers were a business consultant and
an image expert. They had apparently worked with
the bank on this circuit before.

One woman was a tall, slender white lady, wearing a
white suit with a knee-length skirt, some neutral-
colored blouse, a splash of color, in the form of a
bright scarf at her neck, round, one-inch earrings,
and a gold-colored brooch, shaped like lightning -
pointing upwards, on the top right part of her suit

The other woman was an average height, heavy, black
lady, wearing a black suit  with a knee-length skirt,
a white blouse,a splash of color, in the form of a
bright scarf at her neck, round, one-inch earrings,
and a gold-colored brooch, shaped like lightning -
pointing upwards, on the top right part of her suit

They could have been black-and-white twins. When I
saw them, like the Bobbsey Twins, I could barely
suppress a giggle. Especially as I later learned that
although both had achieved a measure of fame,
neither had realized monetary success.

Reality - image is very important, even in an
electronic medium, where people cannot see you.
What you say, how you present yourself, your grammar,
your choice of words, your spelling, the presentation
of your site or your materials - they all speak
to your professionalism.

Truth - image isn't enough. If you don't know how to
value yourself, or price your product (or service)
properly, devoting your energy merely to image will
only be a crutch. And let's face it, I live in
California - need I say more?

Your comic guide,

Eva Rosenberg

=====  New Threads =====

====> Humorous Quotations!

Hi Friends,

Any of you find that some humorous quotations
have a deep meaning and can help you find
solutions to some problems in your work?

I had this happen to me last week.

The quote in question is Bernard Shaw's
"The only person who behaves sensibly is my tailor.
He takes my measure anew every time he sees me. All
the rest go on with their old measurements"
(From Man and Superman).

The situation - There's a lady (let's call her C), in
the school where I teach webdesign, who works extremely
hard. She has gotten excellent results from outsiders
for the school but unfortunately she doesn't get along
with most of the other staff.

(Our assessment had been that a. Due to her recent
promotion (around 6 months back) and b. Due to her
now having access to the Principal's ear the other
staff was jealous of her and that's why they never
got along. We had made this evaluation about 4-5
months back.)

Now it so happened that the day I read this quotation
C had a nasty war of words with another staff member.
Normally (when she'd discuss the matter with me) I would
have told her to just relax ...as she knew the situation
etc., but having just read the quote it made me reassess
the situation again.

To my surprise I found that unlike 6 months back,
most staff members have come to terms with C's out of
turn promotion as they all love the school and can see
the benefits to the school. However C had become distant
with them when they had been distant to her. She still
snaps at them or gives them the cold shoulder making
it now impossible for them to rebuild the relations.

Thanks G.B.S but for you I'd have never realized this
change. (I've told C about it, don't know how she'll
deal with it:-)

I hope you find this quote (and tale useful). If
you don't mind I'll close with another quote, this one
from Winston Churchill - "Man will occasionally stumble
over the truth, but most of the time he will pick
himself up and continue on as though nothing has

Best Wishes,
WZ-ard of Humorous Quotes

===> Reassessment of First Impressions

Being professionals, you've probably already read
about those studies that keep cropping up - people
form their opinion about you in about the first
5 seconds after meeting you.

It's very true in love - all the men I used to
date still think I'm young and beautiful (including
my husband). They are blind to the emerging wrinkles,
the growing flab, and the resulting replacement of
mini-skirts with long skirts. (Hope they never read
Man and Superman or Gunjan's post :-)
Thank goodness for dementia.

It's generally true in business too. If you make a
great first impression, people will continue to
imagine you as that consummate professional they
met. In the same vein, a bad first impression is
really difficult to dispel.

But, it can be done. And I do it all the time.

Especially on stage. Let's face it, the truth is, I am now
obese. And most people, being so focused on image,
instantly find that distasteful. People who see me,
without actually meeting me or hearing me, dismiss
me as insignificant.

Then, I get up on stage. I start talking to them
about my prepared material (or off-the-cuff, as I
did at AffiliateFORCE2001, as the impromptu MC).
And in moments, I am transformed. They forget what
I really look like and replace that image with -
I have no idea what, but it's certainly positive.
(Otherwise where do those propositions keep coming
from? <g>)

Too many people use their flaws an excuse to
postpone their success. They'll start their
campaign 'when.'

Forget it. Work with what you've got (you
now have G.B.S on your team) - but give
110% (unless you're on a team){Catch -22?}.

Your comic guide,
Eva Rosenberg

===========  Helpful Humor Tips   ==========

Have you ever thought of practicing your networking
skills (or your wit/sales pitch) in a chatroom? Go into
a chatroom, have an objective in mind. It may
something silly like 'Joseph Heller is your favorite
author' or 'airhorns suck'. Now follow all the etiquette
of the room (No spamming, that would be too easy and
silly) and see if you can twist the conversation in a way
for you to deliver your objective message.

[If it starts working and you start getting good at it,
maybe you could think of how 'your site
promotion' could be your objective message :-)
still without spamming ... naturally]

If you bump into 'yours trivially' trying to
tell you some weird trivial stuff in Yahoo
Trivia Room .... that's yours truly (and trivially) ;-)
[This happens only on full moon nights, now]

Two eyes in the grass:
nothing there to fear - just a
sneaking suspicion.
(101 Corporate Haiku)

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Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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