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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

  27th  June  2001    #     013


Moderator's Comment

More Kind Words :

Keep up the Good Work
                ~ Bob Burg

Getting Your Call Returned
(Rest of the Story)
                ~ Eva Rosenberg

                 ~ Linda Yoakum
                 ~ Gunjan Saraf

             ~ JD Lentz
             ~ Linda Dorfmont
             ~ Bob Burg

Role Playing Games
            ~ Gunjan
  Useful? Humor Tips

For the Medical Profession Only
            ~ Gunjan

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Moderator's Message

Dear LaughMates,

Found this little joke, I think it could fit under the 'Pig'
discussion. Or maybe better under the Surprise or
Role Playing threads. Actually does it matter? I enjoyed it.
Hope you do too.

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a
construction site.  The foreman points out a huge pile of
sand and says to the Italian guy, "You are in charge of
sweeping."  To the Scotsman he says, You are in charge
of shoveling."  And to the Chinese guy he says, "You are
in charge of the supplies."

The foreman leaves for a couple of hours and when he
returns the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of the sand?"

The Italian replies, "You saida to the Chinese a fella that
he wasa inna charge of the supplies, but he hasa
disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, "And you,
I thought I told you to shovel this pile?"

The Scotsman replies, "Ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get
meeself a shoovel!  Ye left the Chinese gadgie in chairge
of the supplies, boot I could nay find him either."

The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the
pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.  Just then, the
Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand
and yells, "Supplies!!"

Your Grinning Moderator
WZ-ard of Humorous Poetry

P.S. Please remember to invite your friends to subscribe.

Please, send any comments to:

=====  Comments =====

====> Keep Up the Good Work

Hi Eva,

"You blend solid, how-to information with a wonderful
sense of humor. Mix all that with your obvious caring
for your readership and you have the recipe for
an outstanding online publication.
Congratulations. Great job!"

Bob Burg


===> Getting Your Calls Returned

Well, my Friends,

In our last episode, Eva was tied to railroad
tracks with the IRS Special bearing down on her.
What to do? What to do?

Never fear! Eva's trusty scathing wit cut the
bonds and set her free just as those giant
wheels were about to crush her flat!

Quick as wink, Eva called 'Joe' at the IRS and left him voice
mail message (naturally, he did his damage and took off to
celebrate). "Hey Joe. OK, you definitely got my attention.
Hang on to your party favors and call me so
we can RSVP to come play with you," she exclaimed.

Then, greedy for that hefty prize money, Eva called 'Bob,' and
left this message on his trusty answering machine, "Hey Bob,
I don't care where you are on this planet. We both know that
you are so compulsive that you check your messages at least
TWICE a day. So, if you don't want to simply gift IRS
$10,000, call me TODAY. If not, don't worry about it. I'll be
happy to accept twice the fee to have to file in Tax Court,
later. I just love knowing you're working so hard to support
my luxurious life style."

Well, gee whiz. Bob called that same day. And although he's
working round the clock and taking a team of athletes he's
been coaching to France, somehow, he's finding the time to
get me his files. (And send me lots and lots of money.)

And "Joe"?  Well, Joe didn't call back for a few days. Joe
really was off celebrating. He told me all about his trip to
San Luis Obispo. We talked about the changes along the
California coast and other great little vacation getaways. We
had a good laugh at Bob's expense. But, Joe isn't filing that
audit report - yet. He'll hold it until I can go sit in his
parlor and show him Bob's toys.

Your Rich Comic Guide

http://taxmama.com   http://workinghumor.com

P.S. Know your client or prospect.  What can you do or
say to throw them completely off balance - in a nice way?

=====  New Discussion =====

====> Innovation

 >From Linda Yoakum <lyoakum@kalleward.com>

Hi Gunjan:

Here's an example of a pretty good salesman's ploy,
that worked with my boss!  A local bank has been
trying to get an appointment to talk about switching
banking services.  So far, unsuccessfully, until now.
It seems the bank has had large remote control SUV toys
made up with their bank logo on them.  Then send one to
the prospective customer with a note that says they will
call in a couple of weeks to set up an appointment at which
time they will hand over the remote to go with the SUV.
Either way, they get to keep the toy. How's that for an idea!



====> Innovation


A lesson from Tom and Jerry. Jerry is teaching his nephew
how to deal with cats. Lesson 3 (or was it 7) is how to bell
a cat. Jerry displays a long, and elaborate method after
which the nephew asks permission to do it his way.

He paints the bell in nice bright colors, gift wraps it,
walks boldly up to Tom and presents it to him.

Of course you know the result.

www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you!


=====  Replies =====

====> Pig

Folks, I really need to apologize here. Last week, JD Lentz
took the time and trouble to send one his first ever posts to
a discussion group - and I ambushed him. Shame on me.

Here is JD's Response - he makes some good points:

I don't recall the situation being one in which the "boss"
was involved.  Perhaps I would have responded
differently had that been the case.

In situations where it is not the boss, I stand by my response.
In the case where someone just starts lambasting you because
you happen to be the person in front of them, I don't think a
relationship is present, and if it is, I believe the other person
would soon make amends since they were the one out of line.

Sometimes the best way to come out of a situation with a win-
win is to do what is known as not falling into a game that would
be destructive if you decided to join it.  My response was
predicated on the notion that enabling poor behavior does not
constrict it, but rather condones it.

By refusing to participate, one often avoids the problems
associated with responding in kind.  Saying goodbye can also
mean "I'll talk to you when you recognize that I am not the
source of your problem."

I am curious why a person would believe that a "good
relationship" can be built on a premise where one is initially
victimized by a person who is apparently a loose cannon who
goes off in a crowd indiscriminately?  I think with that as a
basis, the relationship will not proceed to a good conclusion.

Perhaps by being a person who will not participate in enabling
this type of conduct, one is staking ground which could form
the basis for a good relationship.

JD (thedoc) Lentz
Unrestrained digital artwork.
Contact: <mailto:thedoctor@eee.org>

====> More Pig

This whole discussion reminds me of what I have
been reading for a couple of  years on Bob Burg's e-zine
Winning Without Intimidation. If you don't have a
subscription now get one. He is inspiring.


Linda Dorfmont EA

Moderator Comments - Thanks Linda. Eva immediately
got in touch with Bob Burg who asked for a copy of
Issue 12. (His comments are up there!)
He also sent us some of his material on this subject.
Excerpts are given in the following post. ~Gunjan


====> Is it really Pig?

* Belief Systems

Truth is fact. It is neutral, without feeling. It may be good
or may be bad, depending upon the people and situations
involved, but mainly, it just is. For example, the truth is
that gravity works. That's good when keeping you from floating
thousands of feet into the air against your wishes. On the
other hand, that's rather bad when falling out of a six story
building. Fairly simple conclusions at which to arrive.

Viewing most interpersonal situations as good or bad, however,
isn't all that easy. What makes it even more difficult is that
the honor of determining the "goodness" or "badness" of any
specific event or situation falls to a very subjective part of
ourselves known as our "Belief System."

A lighter (and definitely ridiculous on my part) example is a
disagreement I had with someone about 10 years ago. He was
thinking about moving to this area and asked if a particular
home a Realtor told him about over the phone was near the
ocean. I said, "No, it's pretty far away." So he told the
Realtor he wasn't interested. When he and his wife arrived
they asked me to take them to that home just to see it. When
we arrived he said, "I thought you told me it wasn't near the

Me: It isn't!
Him: It is, too!
Me: No it isn't!
Him: Yes, it is!
(No, neither of us stuck out our tongue at the other and
went "nyah, nyah")

Let's analyze this: The "truth" is that home was seven miles
from the ocean. I, living in Jupiter, Florida and two blocks
from the ocean, feel that seven miles is far away. He, being
from the Midwest, feels seven HUNDRED miles from the
ocean isn't too far away. I'd say our miscommunication had
"something" to do with our belief systems. Yes, we are still
friends. Why did neither of us think to mention the exact
number of miles? I dunno.

So let's look at an effective way to work with "Beliefs."

First, when in confrontation with a person you may be finding
difficult to get along with, ask yourself four questions:

#1 How is my personal belief system distorting the actual
truth of the situation?

#2 How is his or her personal belief system distorting the
actual truth of the situation?

#3 What questions can I ask this person that will clarify my
understanding of their version of the truth (their belief

#4 What information can I give that will help them clarify
their understanding of my version of the truth (my belief

As the saying goes, within conflict between two or more
people, there are generally three truths - your truth, their
truth, and the real truth. Through questions, as well as a
caring exchange of information, the real truth can usually be
discovered, generating understanding, peace, and respect. This
leads to results in alignment with the WINNING WITHOUT
INTIMIDATION belief system in which "Both people win."

Extracted from an Article
by Bob Burg
To read more -  Subscribe to
Winning Without Intimidation (it's free, naturally)


=====> Role Playing Games

Hi Friends,

We'll take this one up next week? Just a reminder so
you won't forget this subject.

Imagine you're Blonde, or Black, Polish, Jewish,
a Sardar, a Lawyer or of any of the categories
which are regularly at the receiving end of jokes.
Now your boss or your most important client has
just cracked a nasty joke about whichever
race, profession or joke category you belong.

What do you do?



===========  Helpful ? Humor Tips    ==========

===> For the Medical Profession

"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his
anxious patient.  "You only have six months to live."

The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.
Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his Physician
that he had no medical insurance. "I can't possibly pay you
in that time."

"Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."

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