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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

     18th  July  2001    #     016

          Happy 65th Anniversary of  Oscar Meyer Weinermobile



Moderator's Comment - Are you who you think you are?

                      ~ Eva Rosenberg


I think
                          ~ Gunjan

Handling Telemarketers
                          ~ Paul Myers

How do we discuss if we don't get replies?
                                  ~ Gunjan
Useful? Humor Tips

Being Catty

               ~ Eva Rosenberg

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Moderator's Message

Dear LaughMates,

Sometimes, it's really hard to keep your cool under pressure. That's rather why I like this forum. It helps me retain some degree of distance from the stresses of business.

I remember, when I was young and innocent, that no matter what happened, I was able to deal with it with a very light touch. Very little would stress me out - and I'd find the humor in every situation...and lighten the mood for all concerned.

Insults would be batted aside with witticisms, without ever reaching me; rejection would be countered with teasing and playfulness; criticisms would be accepted with grace....except from my mother. (Have you ever noticed that there is always ONE person who knows how to push ALL your buttons?)

Who were the role models of the TV world in the last century? Characters like  Maverick, Banacek, Nash Bridges,...always in stressful situations, yet laughing them off.

By contrast, you look at James Garner's other major character, Jim Rockford - that guy was always frazzled.  Interesting how that character developed as Garner grew older...considering that he retains a warm and easy manner.

Stop for a moment and take a look at your own temperament.

Do you still see yourself as that light and delightful person of your youth? (I certainly do!)

Yet, how do you really react these days? Time to re-evaluate the way you appear to others. (I know I must!)

Tell us what you've learned.

Your Comic Guide,


P.S. Please remember to invite your friends to subscribe.

Please, send any comments to:

=====  New Discussion =====

====> I think


Friends who are subscribed to my Jest for Pun
(pun-subscribe@topica.com) please pardon the repetition. I think this is the best limerick I've ever read ...

Descartes to a tavern was drawn;
Took a table outside, on the lawn.
Said the serving wench, 'Dear,
Would you care for a beer?'
'I think not.' And like that, he was gone.
(Lester Macavity)

Almost as profound Rene's original philosophy, isn't it? And so relevant to our lives and our work. Just think, If I wrote this issue unthinkingly, did I exist while writing it and if I didn't, how did this issue come to be?

You 'think' about these things while I head to the nearest tavern to clear my head.

Punny Rhymes and other Crimes
WZ-ard of Humorous Poetry


===> Handling Telemarketers

From: "Paul Myers" <paul@talkbiz.com>


"Paul Myers. May I help you?"

"Yes, Mr. Myers. This is <unintelligible>, from Information Systems. I'm calling to verify the type of fax machine you use."


"Yes, sir."


"It's a courtesy call, sir."

"My, grandma, what lovely manners you have... What makes you think I use a fax machine?"

"Do you have a fax machine, sir?"


"May I ask what kind it is?"


"Excuse me, sir?"

"Yes. You may ask what kind it is."

"What kind is it, sir?"

"Brand new. The phone jack has yet to be deflowered. It's
in a box in the basement. I forget what kind it is, though."

"You don't use your fax machine, sir?"

"Yes, I do."

"I don't understand."

"A universal constant."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Never mind. I have a computer. Would you like to verify the kind of computer I have?"

"Ummm... [silence]"

"I often have that effect on people. Don't worry. It's not usually permanent."

"This IS a business number, isn't it?"

"There are people who would debate that, I suppose. What evidence do you have to support that conclusion?"

"Is this Virtual Business News?"

"It was."

"I thought you said you were Paul Myers?"

"I did. I am. Therefore I think."

"I'm sorry. Excuse me?"

"Yes. And no. In that order."

"Maybe I should let you talk to my manager."

"Why? Was he bad?"

"One moment, sir." ... "Hi. Mr. Myers?"


"My name is <unintelligible>, and I'm the manager here. What can I do for you?"

"I don't know. The person I was just speaking with seemed to believe you were in need of some sort of assistance."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Chalk it up to karma. Does your firm maintain a Do Not Call List?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Yes, you do. Or you should be fired immediately. Put this number on your Do Not Call List. Do you understand?"

"I'm not sure, sir."

"Tell your employer to check the air filters and issue foil fedoras. Then go, and never darken my voicemail again. And thank you for pushing the self destruct button."


Paul Myers
TalkBiz News


=====  Replies =====

=====> How do we discuss if we don't get replies?

Hi Friends,

Just to remind everyone that I-Laugh is a discussion group and not a newsletter. I have always hated discussions which have got monopolized by just one speaker, whether he/she is good, terrific or terrible.

So it's starting to haunt me that I'm doing so much of the talking out here. I would especially like to take this opportunity to try and draw out people who are not regular posters in discussion groups. And people who have never posted to
a discussion list.

Go ahead, send us your views, problems, and comments. I'm sure you have some as you read some of these posts. You must have some types of jokes you're uncomfortable with, bumped into people who could dish it out but couldn't take jokes (last weeks discussion of tolerance). And you must have your own methods of dealing with frustrations or dealing with people with whom you've had a tiff (last week's humor tips).

Unlike Eva, who is a fantastic speaker, the idea of talking to audiences (whether by public speaking or on discussion groups) though a dream, used to send shivers down my spine till very recently. I took inspiration from Bernard Shaw who it seems when asked how he learnt to speak so compellingly replied - "I did it the same way I learned to skate - by doggedly making a fool of myself until I got used to it."

So come on folks, I-Laugh is the forum for you to practice your communication skills. Whether you have serious tips, questions or just want to share a laugh, make yourself heard.

Hoping to have lots more replies this week and have some REAL discussions...

www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you !


Come and Get Thrashed at...
(Just cut & paste in browser if link
doesn't work)

===========  Helpful ? Humor Tips    ==========

===> Being Catty

In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious
piece of pottery.

He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat. "It's not for sale," said the proprietor.

"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."

"It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten on the spot.

"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."

"Nothing doing," said the proprietor firmly. "That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've sold 34 cats."

  So what do you think of this as a marketing ploy? Attract people with something they really want - sell them something they care nothing about? Ethical? Unethical? Bad for long-term business relationships - or so you would think?

Have you seen any cosmetic ads lately? (Men's or women's) They lure you into the store with 'free' gifts - IF you spend at least a minimum amount on their product.

Eva Rosenberg
Your Comic Guide



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