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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

        8th  August  2001    #     019

         Happy National Smile Week



Moderator's Comment -
                         ~ Gunjan



                             ~ Gunjan

Moral of the Story
                            ~ Manjula Belliappa


Moron Wrong Numbers
                            ~ Eva Rosenberg
                            ~ Jeff Marx
                            ~ Draco

Humor in Serious Places
                        ~ Gunjan Saraf

How do we Discuss?
                          ~ Gunjan
Useful? Humor Tips

                       ~ Gunjan

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Moderator's Message

Dear LaughMates,

We've had an influx of new subscribers. Welcome
all of you. If you have difficulty in following some of the
conversation threads, the archives are at
Don't forget to visit our wonderful sponsor (May you
never run out of ink, or things to say) and welcome aboard.

I had an interesting conversation (over exchanged emails)
with Chris and Dan who run a newsletter called Partners-in-Rhyme,
which is a word-a-day newsletter with a difference. They give you
a limerick everyday on the word they teach you making it easy to
remember the word.

The first few times I submitted limericks to them I got some
fiery responses about how terrible my rhyme or scansion was.
Of course unfazed by their comments, and wanting to get better
with every limerick and with every criticism, I persisted.

Chris then took the trouble of sending me the basics of limerick
writing. Since then I sent another 2-3 limericks and didn't hear
from them. Surprised I sent a note asking whether my scansion
had improved drastically for me not to hear from them or had they
got fed up of me and put me on ignore.

Here's the reply from Chris...

You are obviously much improved, or else you would have heard
from us with further suggestions for cleaning up your verse. Keep
up the good work. We are both far less accomplished at stroking,
as we are at swatting.

The reason I bring this up here, is not to show off my newly
improved limerick writing skills, but because I found Chris's
phrase very interesting. Are we strokers or swatters at work?
What kind of balance do we need to strike? Is being a 'swatter
less accomplished at stroking' a handicap? Should you stroke
as often as you swat?

I'd love to have your opinions and any incidents related to
praise and criticism in the workplace.

Of course in Chris's case did you notice that he is extremely
adept at stroking too. When you receive a stroke from one
who isn't a regular stroker it means so much more!

Think about that twist too, and hope to hear from lots of you!

Hope you're contributing to the National Smiling Week!

Your Comic Guide,

Punny Rhymes and other Crimes
WZ-ard of Humorous Poetry

P.S. -
1) Sorry to the people who had asked for Telemarketing
Article and my comments. Will do something about
it by next issue.

2) Please, do remember to invite your friends to subscribe.

Please, send any comments to:

=====  New Discussions  =====

====> Initiative

Hi Friends,

Normally I don't like to post or share things I receive
as forwards. I have this feeling that there are enough
enthusiastic trigger happy mail users for any forward
to have gone round the world a couple of times before
it gets to me. But I'd like to make an exception for this
one as I think it's very appropriate in these times when
so many people are worried about their jobs.....

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton
and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the
carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone
and proceeded to punch in seven digits. The store owner
listened to the following conversation.

The boy said, "Lady, I want to cut your lawn".

The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn".

"Lady I will cut your lawn for half the price of the
person who cuts your lawn now."

The woman responded that she was very satisfied with
the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered,

"Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk,
so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all
of North Palm Beach, Florida."

Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the
receiver. The druggist walked over to the boy and said,

"Son I like your attitude, I like that positive spirit.
Son, I would like to offer you a job. "

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just
checking on the job I already have."

(Would I love to meet the person who wrote that story)


Comments :

====> Moral of the Story

  >From Manjula Belliappa <manjubelliappa@yahoo.co.in>

Hello Gunjan,

Received this from a friend....

Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting
outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes
a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on? "Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes,
gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and
resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops
to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: " What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf:  "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "Of course. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit
returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to
typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks,

Bear: "What are you doing?
Rabbit: " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

MORAL : It doesn't matter how silly your thesis topic is.
What matters is who you have for a supervisor. In the context
of the working world : It doesn't matter how bad your
performance is. What matters is whether your boss likes you.

Manjula Belliappa
Head of Middle School
Bethany High

Comments :

=====  Replies =====

====> Moron Wrong Numbers

Hi Scott,

What a totally annoying situation.

But the really great thing is - the company who
is sending you the calls has deep pockets.

Here are some ideas -

Look up the name of the president of Avis and give him a call.

Tell him that you are really jazzed to be getting so many of
his customer's calls.  After all, since they are so stubborn about
calling several times to make sure that it's really you they are
getting, you have many opportunities to talk to the same
customer and get to know them.

You would be delighted to be his Public Relations ambassador,
for a fair price. After all, he is paying his P-R firm, what, about
$250 per hour? And you get an average of about 2 hours of calls
each day - perhaps they should pay you $500 per day to
refer the calls to the correct Avis office.

If the president does not want to take your call...no problem,

Call your favorite car rental company and make an arrangement
with them to sell them the Avis callers.

Best wishes

Eva Rosenberg


Get your own domain and website - CHEAP:

====> More on Moron Wrong Numbers


I totally empathize with you, Scott. My home/office telephone
number is (212) 447-4747. I get calls all the time from people
who are trying to reach Northwest Airlines at (800) 447-4747.
Either they forget to dial the 800, or they assume the local New
York City number will be the same as the 800 number. Even
worse, 800 numbers cannot be dialed from overseas, so people
who try to call Northwest from overseas (at all hours) end up
reaching me.

I hate being rude and unhelpful to people, but I don't feel it's
my job to give them the correct number unless I am being
compensated by Northwest for my time and the interruptions to
my work.  Northwest doesn't feel any responsibility to me,
besides offering to bear the costs of changing my number --
which I do not want to do, as my number is published in
various trade directories.

I'm looking forward to any suggestions about how to handle
this with humor and grace.  Thanks!

Jeff Marx
(212) 447-4747
How To Win A High School Election
(advice & ideas collected from over 1,000 students)
"Underdogs win all the time.  Here's how."

Comment -

====> Still More on Moron Wrong Numbers


I once worked at a truck brokerage in the same situation.
Toro, a national gardening tool and sprinkler installer had printed
our number in their manuals 2 or 3 years ago. The same manuals
are still showing up. We contacted Toro about it, and they knew
of the mistake and fixed it in newer prints. But the old manuals are
still in stock at even the local hardware stores with the truck
brokerage's phone number. It was a simple typo/mistake in the
manuals.. the last 2 digits of the prefix were swapped.

After some time and a little fun, my boss's son would give
the callers numbers to 1-800-FATGIRLS, or seriously give
them the real number.

On a few occasions we received some irate callers for Toro, he
would play with them, give them bullshit solution to their problem,
then tell them that he has to redirect this call to the main office,
giving them the Toro's number, or calling up on conference call.

Other times when he got tired of having fun with the wrong
numbers, he would conference call Toro's line with a Toro's
customer on our line and asked to speak to someone higher up.
He eventually got them to pay some of his telephone bill as
those  calls come in nationally on the 800 number, costing the
company  a good bit of change.  They even left the agreement
open so if he kept receiving calls they would pay off again.

Not a bad turn out.  Since he got paid off he didn't booger
callers, he just logged the date/time of the call to keep the
amount of wrong number activity in check and gave the callers
the correct number and explained the mistake in the manuals.
At least till I left that business.



====> Humor in the most serious places

Hi Friends,

Check out this ad for 'Unzip Wizard' ....

------ Don't be Shy - Unzip with Confidence!

Some Zip programs are frustratingly confusing to use. But it's
essential to have one if you're downloading stuff from the Net.
'Unzip Wizard' is so simple it's impossible to go wrong. That's
because it's specifically designed with Newbies in mind. And
The Newbie Club has arranged a special discount for you at this
page. So now you can save AND unzip without embarrassment!

This is a stunner!

I love ad copies like that!



Glance through these cartoons, I chose them
out of a collection of over 100, just for you...

Anatomy 101 (Adult)

Your Tax Dollar at Work

=====> How do we discuss?

Hi Friends,

Paul's Bernard Shaw Story reminded me of another
story (wonder if it's true).

My favorite Shaw tale (I like the sound of that) is one
in which for a change he was at the receiving end.

It seems at the opening of Pygmalion GBS sent two
passes to Winston Churchill for the premiere with a note
which read - "Bring a friend, if you have one!"

Churchill is said to have replied with a regret note saying
he was sorry he couldn't attend the show due to a previous
engagement adding -"Please send me passes to the next show,
if there is one!"

Unlike Paul I had a bit of difficulty with the moral of the story.
Paul suggests - "Never mess with anyone named Winnie..."

Best Wishes,

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak


===========  Helpful ? Humor Tips    ==========

===> Hints

Read this in the book 'Working Wounded.'

A person used to be troubled by the person in the next cubicle
cause that chap loved to gossip. He reported this to their
boss and requested Mr. Gossip be shifted a couple of times
to no avail. So he decided to take things in his own hands.

It seems they used to work in an old 1940's building and there
was an old fan right above Mr. Gossip's seat. One day he left
an old rusty nut on Mr. Gossip's desk. After a couple of days
an oily bolt. Mr. Gossip asked for a shift of offices that same day.


Comments or Have a Humorous Tip to share?

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