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Your Working Humor Discussion List

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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
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                  19th September 2001    #     025
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             Happy Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year)
             http//www.midrash.org/halakha/roshana.html
             http://www.101rosh-hashanah.com/
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IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                      ~ Gunjan
                      ~ Eva
____________________

DIVERSIONS

Give me a punless death...

Where am I?

I think...
Therefore I do...

I hope I'm sick

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?


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Moderator's Message
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Dear LaughMates,

It's been 8 days. The last 3 of them I have spent thinking what on earth to say in this issue of I-Laugh and I still have no idea. I know we have to restart, I know we need to get our humor back in place, I know humor is the strongest
defense mechanism. Ironically in the aborted issue 24, I was bringing that up. I had found a fantastic thesis on- Humor as defense mechanism during the holocaust.

But I'm sorry I'm not able to muster up my humor enough, to discuss humor seriously. Not that I haven't used it in these past few days. It's been my primary diversion through watching sheer madness on TV. Every time my head had started reeling, I've come to my computer, gone through my huge collection of jokes, humorous poems, puns and it has been a very welcome
change. I decided to pass on that diversion to my friends who are subscribed to Jest for Pun and was really thrilled that this was appreciated and I got quite a few touching replies.

So for all those of you who are still finding it difficult to concentrate on anything serious (even if it is humor), I provide a little diversion in this issue with some jokes, funny rhymes, etc. Those of you who are already at
'business as usual' mode please bear with us for a week. Those of you who still don't feel up to it, I understand, hope you'll feel much better by next week.

With Regards and Best Wishes
Gunjan

Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=discuss


Dear LaughMates,

We've entered a very inspiring time. Some terrible things have happened. But, looking at the results, this attack has not only brought people together here in America - it has brought the entire world together.

For decades, we  have quietly tolerated the loss of innocent lives by terrorists bringing down airplanes, bombing embassies, making suicide runs into crowds of partygoers or tourists.

The world has finally come to realise that we must all join forces to put a stop to it.

What amuses me most is the cowardice of the terrorists and Bin Laden. They don't stand up and claim credit for their acts - they must be very ashamed.  And Osama Bin Laden hides. He hides in fear of his life, like a child who knows he's done wrong and hides behind his mother's skirt. Contemptible.

George Bernard Shaw once commented:
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more
than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

And so, in that spirit, we bring you excuses for laughter. It's either that, my friends, or tears. I prefer this option. Or will, when I stop feeling so numb.

With hugs and wishes of unity and peace in this new year.

Your Comic Guide,

Eva Rosenberg
Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=laughter

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====> Give me a punless death

From: "Gilbert Krebs" <gill@cchat.com>

Once upon a time in a land far far away, there was a King. In the King's court was a Jester. The Jester had a real talent for puns, and shared them with the King at every opportunity.

The King, however, hated puns more than anything. In fact, puns so annoyed the King that he issued a proclamation banning puns from his kingdom. Anyone caught creating or distributing puns was to be hung immediately.

When the Jester heard his King's proclamation, he immediately requested an audience. Appearing before the King, he begged to have the new rule revoked.

The King, however, refused.

The following dialog ensued.

King: "Why can't you tell normal jokes like other Jesters?"

Jester: "Ok, I'll try. Name a subject."

King: "How about the King?"

Jester: "But the King is not a subject."

This blatant pun angered the King greatly.  He demanded that the Jester try again, and this time be serious.

The Jester agreed, and thought long and hard before speaking. "You know," he said, "our Queen may be a wonder, but Queen Mary was a Tudor."

This was too much for the King, he ordered that the Jester be hung.

However, when he saw his old Jester up on the gallows he was filled with sympathy. "Listen," said the King, "I'll give you one last chance. If you can go for one more week without telling me any puns, I'll let you live."

The Jester agreed, and was escorted down from the gallows. When he reached the ground, he looked back up at the swinging rope and said to the King,  "You know its true what they say."

"What's that?" asked the King.

"No noose is good noose."

The Jester was promptly hung.

====> Where am I?

From: Lloyd Horton
Via: "Tim Davis" <tim@cybersalt.org>

In medical school, I was required to rotate through psychiatry and put in service at one of the local mental institutions. One of the most interesting cases I saw involved a very troubled person.

At times this person believed himself to be a temptress in a Bizet opera.

At other times he was convinced that he was the head of the German Luftwaffe in World War II.

The consensus of my instructors was that the fellow didn't know if he was Carmen or Goerring.

====> 'I think' ...

Descartes to a tavern was drawn;
Took a table outside, on the lawn.
Said the serving wench, 'Dear,
Would you care for a beer?'
'I think not.' And like that, he was gone.
(Lester Macavity)

Answered Rene as his opinion was sought
For asking me - "Thanks a lot"
But I'm busy having a smoke,
All I can offer now is a toke,
Cause at times like these I'm 'Despot'.
(Gunjan)

... therefore 'I do'.

My boss is a fellow named Sid
With the mind of an eight-year-old kid
Just outside his door
A sign said, "Wet floor,"
Sid saw it, and read it ... and did!
(Ed Hexter)

===> I hope I'm sick

A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and said to himself every so often, "Boy, I hope I'm sick!"

After about the fifth or sixth time, the receptionist couldn't stand it any longer, and asked, "Why in the world would you want to be sick, Mr. Adams?"

The man replied, "I'd hate to be well and feel like this."

===> How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie:
Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the lightbulb! Can I? Can I?
Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house my nails will be dry.

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.......

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.....

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle....

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs, I am not one of THEM, so the question is how long will it be before I can expect light!

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I

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