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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

7th November  2001    #     032
A gold digger is a human gimmee pig! (Mike Bull)


Moderator's Comment -
                                  ~ Gunjan
                          ~ Eva


Blood Dependant Resistance (The Srivatsa Story)
               ~ Gunjan

Getting to Know Your Laughmates
        "Featured Laughmates - Clara and Phil McKinney"
                              ~ Gunjan

Public Speaking Tips
                            ~ Gunjan

Definition of Jokes
                               ~ Jan Selle

Forget the deep breathing, watch his pants!
(Don't miss this one, Doc!)
                                          ~ Gunjan


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Moderator's Message

Dear LaughMates,

The last week was great. I made a couple of great new friends. I'll tell you about one of them right here and about the other either further in this issue or the in next, depending on space.

I'd been trying to set up a form on the Jest for Pun section of our website. Actually that's not very accurate, setting up the form was a piece of cake, getting it to work, a different ball game all together. The script needed
to power the form was giving me nightmares. (Oh! I know to a programmer it may seem like child's play, but then not everyone is good at child's play .... right?)

I'd downloaded and tried 3-4 different scripts, mentioned my problem on the forums of two of the script publishers, and was at the verge of giving up when I posted my problem to I-Design. Before the next issue of I-Design could come out I had been contacted by Gabor Szabo gabor@tracert.com, who tried telling me how it should be done, realized fast I wasn't smart enough with Perl to follow his instructions, agreed to make the script for
me in exchange for a few laughs & some advertisement (optional), and had it done, all in the space of 24 hours.

I was so stunned, I haven't yet been able to think of a single laugh in repayment!  and advertisement???? You don't advertise products or service like that, you strongly recommend it!

So Laughmates if any of you need any tweaking of your sites, especially anything to do with cgi or Perl, I strongly recommend that you pay a visit to Gabor Szabo at http://www.tracert.com They also have some great tools for testing your website. I'm still experimenting with those and will let you know more about them once my experiments are over.

In the meanwhile here's a toast to our new friend Gabor "You may not know it, but you're a true Laughmate :-)"

With a little tweak of my rundown hat to all the other Laughmates, let me welcome you all to yet another issue of I-Laugh,

With Regards,
www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you !

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Note

Dear LaughMates,

If you've been reading the November issues of I-HelpDesk, http://list.adventive.com/archives/i-helpdesk.html
you have started reading about my adventures with Dan Janal's PR Leads.

Well, just yesterday, a columnist for a trade publication for salesmen was looking for someone to interview for an article. She wanted someone "who can discuss the best, and worst, ways for sales executives to invest their end-of-year bonuses. "

While I didn't give her my 'best' suggestions (she'll have to contact me for those), here are a few of my worst:

An Ice Sculpture of their company's logo.
Sables (coats - not cars) for veterinary salespersons.
A time-share in Kabul.
Stock in that flight school in Florida that trained the terrorists.
Diamonds from Sierra Leone.

What other things can you think of that are terrible investments?

While I try to inject a certain amount of humor into the 'introductions' I send to these writers, it seems the one thing they universally find the funniest is ---- my name - TaxMama. It seems to capture their imagination and bring a grin to their faces, instantly. You can see it in they way they respond. And that's usually they first thing they ask about when we speak.  Seems like my husband dreamed up the perfect name for me.

So, what have you done to make someone smile this week?

Oh,  speaking of contagious smiles, that reminds me, they're working on a new Chicken Soup for the Soul book - Chicken Soup for the ATHLETE'S Soul

If you've got a story about:

*Athletes and the issues they face in sports
*Families & Friends who have a loved one who is an Athlete
*Families & Friends who have faced issues that Athletes face
*Anyone associated with Athletes & the issues Athletes face

Let me know and I'll forward the submission information and requirements to you. My first submission got into Chicken Soup for the College Soul. Now, let's see if my story about Rosey Grier gets into this one.  And I'd love to see your story get in there. They're great books.

Your Comic Guide,
Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com  - taxes with a sense of humor
I am so jazzed with Dan Janal's PR Leads

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=====  New Discussions  =====

====> Blood Dependant Resistance

Hi Friends,

I told you last week that I had great story from last week's featured Laughmate Srivatsa. He was reminded of it while we discussing my helpful
Humor Tip - Chicken Soup for 7 Highly Effective people.

It happened while he was in the ninth grade, in the one of the top boy's schools in Chennai. There was an announcement of a science fair but Srivatsa and friends didn't pay much attention to it till a further
announcement that their school displays/projects would be housed in the same hall as the displays/projects from the top girls school in Chennai.

Now it suddenly became imperative to have a display. So Srivatsa and a couple of friends got to work. One of the friends - Rajesh was extremely good with electrical circuits. Their project was titled, "Do you have a masculine
or a feminine touch?" It was a little circuit with two bulbs - a blue one and a pink one. They had a little two way switch neatly hidden away under the table. All you had to do was to hold the wiring at a particular spot for a few seconds and one of the lights came on (controlled by Srivatsa or Rajesh
without your knowledge) telling you whether you had a masculine or a feminine touch.

To make the thing serious and not a joke, a theory was needed to complete the project and they came up with BDR - (Blood Dependant Resistance). Very scientific sounding, full of big technical terms saying something like the ions in one's body (which were responsible for static electricity) could be measured and that measurement would give an idea as to whether you
had more masculine or feminine traits. (Boy, would P.T. Barnum have been proud of them)

Well, the best part was, they carried out their display, with such conviction that not only was it selected, it was one the most popular displays and was awarded the first place. Unfortunately, the person to give out the prizes was a respected scientist from Indian Space Research Organization. He decided to have a quick round of the auditorium before giving the prizes.

The moment he came to Srivatsa's table he stopped looked at him in the eye and said - "Ok son, tell me where the 2 way switch is."

Even today Srivatsa remembers the embarrassment of the organizers of the exhibition (who had awarded this project first place) more than his own as he pointed out the two way switch.

Jest a Quote (or three)

Comments :

====>  Getting to Know Your Laughmates

Featured Laughmates - Phil and Clara McKinney

Hi Friends,

Shame on you if you still need an introduction to Phil and Clara McKinney. They've been our wonderful sponsors for almost 7 months now and you haven't had the time to visit them!!

If you know them you can skip this introduction. But otherwise here we go. Phil and Clara live in the beautiful Black Mountains of Western North
Carolina just outside the small town of Burnsville.

They can see Mt. Mitchell, which is the highest peak east of the Rockies, from their deck and enjoy the wildlife and peace and quiet.

Phil recounts how he got into the ink business -

"When we got our first computer back in 1996, it came with a Canon printer. Our first 'sticker shock' came when it ran out of ink... went to the store
and about fell over when we saw what the cartridges cost! I got to thinking, "Hey, it's a plastic tank filled with ink, why so expensive? Indeed!..... That's how the printer companies make their profits (in fact, 62%!). -- "There has
to be a 'cheaper' alternative!" That's when the research began..."

They operate Max Patch Ink from their home office (1,200sq. ft.). All products are stocked and shipped from there. They take much pride in the quality of their products and the outstanding 'customer care' that they deeply believe is the 'cornerstone' of their business!

Customers echo this sentiment and Paul Meyers another of our wonderful Laughmates has this to say -

"I placed an order with Phil and I was very happy with the entire process. The product, price and shipping were just what you'd want, and his speed and professionalism in answering my e-mailed questions were above and beyond."

Personally, I also enjoy the humor with which either Phil or Clara (or sometimes both) reply their mails.

Other than the business Phil and Clara are also involved in their community and belong to the Chamber Of Commerce in Yancey county, Madison
County (Phil is past vice-chair) and the Greater Asheville Chamber. Phil also gives seminars on "Small Business For The Internet - Getting There". He also lectures and provides support for small businesses at the Mountain
Microenterprise Fund for Western North Carolina. They are also members of The Better Business Bureau - Serving Asheville and Western North Carolina.

Phil and Clara have three beautiful girls, all grown up now, and six grandchildren.

Please do visit Phil and Clara at

Thank You,
www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you

Comments :

=====  REPLIES=====

====> Public Speaking Tips

Dear LaughMates,

Carrying on where we left off in I-Laugh 30, here the next part of Tom Antion's article


Questions to ask the interviewees

With regard to the topic I am presenting on, what are the three biggest challenges you face in completing your daily duties?  (then let them talk)

Do you have any interesting stories about things that have happened to you while you were working?

Questions to ask yourself

Considering all the answers I got from the phone interviews, what are the three (or five depending on how much time you have) greatest areas of concern for the attendees.

What material do I have that can specifically address those concerns?

What stories do I have that will help them remember my points?

What visuals will I use?

What props will I use?

What should I include in the written introduction that I prepare for my introducer that will be appropriate for this audience.

How will I open the presentation?

How long will I go before I have a break?

What forms of audience interaction will I use?

In what form, and how much humor will I use?

Will I provide a handout, and if so, what should it include?

What will I do and say in case of an emergency (running out of the room screaming is not an option here)?

Should I have a Question & Answer session, or should I entertain questions as they come up?

How will I close the presentation?

How much and when will I practice this presentation?

How will I stay calm before the presentation?

Tom Antion
Great Speaking
(If you want the how to use these you can't just wait for I-Laugh #33. You'll have to buy Tom Antion's book Wake 'em Up.
(Affiliate Link)

Or you can subscribe to his free newsletter 'Great Speaking'
and hope that he brings it up again soon :-).
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below)


coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak

===> Definitions of a Joke

 >From Jann Selle <Jannselle@go.com>

Joke is a set of words that allow the mind relax and suddenly experience something in a new way.

Jann Selle
(913) 236-1598 - days
(816) 761-4828 - evenings,weekends
(816) 806-5164 - anytime

Moderator's Comment - What no other takers?
Come on let's have a few more definitions!!


===========  Helpful Humor Tip  ==========

Forget the deep breathing, watch his pants!

As professionals we tend to get so involved with technical or work related problems that we tend miss some simple things which could be bothering
our client, customer or as in this case patient.

A dear friend of mine went for a stress test this week. He is built in that beautiful portly shape which the skinny bony envy and as they cannot
replicate laugh at.

However, his shape causes a major problem for his tailor. The size of waist differs hugely depending at what height the measurement is taken. The result of this is that his pants if they slip down an inch, then have no grip left and continue their downward slide almost unchecked.

Getting back to the stress test, my friend got on to the treadmill and start marching away. As you must have guessed by now every couple of minutes his pants started slipping off. This was ok as long as one of his hands were free to keep pulling them back up. (The other were holding on to the treadmill)

The problem started when his free hand was cornered by the Doc to take his blood pressure. Now getting his dropping pants back to place became more
and more difficult. As if this wasn't bad enough he could spot a couple of nurses and interns smiling in the background through a huge mirror most badly positioned under the circumstances.

His Doctor was all concern. Are you alright? Is your breathing ok? Are you finding this too strenuous? etc., etc. He was probably realizing that something was causing his patient discomfort but he could only think of
medical problems which could have been causing him discomfort.

Now my friend didn't feel like bringing up the problem of pants, didn't want to wrongly say he was out of breath, (imagine being diagnosed with a heart condition because of your pants) and so had a really bad time. Till he
managed to think of the excuse - "Doc, my breath is great but my feet are paining .... can I get off now?"

Well since the stress test didn't show the pant stress it gave my friend an all clear and his experience is just a big laugh that we shared. But I thought it also was an excellent learning experience to try and remember that sometimes your client/patient might be having some simple not work related problems.

So here I am sharing it with you too, just in case you find it useful too.

With best wishes,

Jest a Quote (or three)

Comments :

===========  This week's Humor  ==========

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and
tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional".
The questions are not really difficult.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the
giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether
you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant
and close the refrigerator.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe,
put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability
to think through the repercussions of your actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the
    animals attend except one. Which animal does not

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the
refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did
not answer the first three questions correctly, you still
have one more chance to show your abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by
   crocodiles.  How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are
attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you
learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90%
of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong.
But many preschoolers got several correct answers.
Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the
theory that most professionals have the brains of a four
year old.

Comments :



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