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Your Working Humor Discussion List

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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
---------------------------------------------
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14th November  2001    #     033
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Children's Day and a Very Happy Diwali
                             from India
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                                   ~ Gunjan
_____________________

NEW DISCUSSIONS

Getting to Know Your Laughmates
                           ~ Meet Karen Alls

Grace?
                           ~ Gunjan

REPLIES
Definition of Jokes
                           ~ Srivatsa Kadaba

Public Speaking Tips
                             ~ Gunjan

HELPFUL HUMOR TIP
~ Gunjan

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Moderator's Message
-------------------------------------------------

Dear LaughMates,

I remember when I was in school, my favorite explanation
to my parents when I'd done badly in a class test was -
"Hey Dad, I did that test really well. The teacher must
have had a fight with her/his spouse just before correcting
my paper, cause I can't think of any other reason why I've
received such poor marks."

I'm sure he never really swallowed the excuse but there
wasn't much you can say to an excuse like that and I
was let off with a lecture to try and motivate me to do
better next time. (I'd probably have been let off the same
way without the excuse too, but I don't know for sure.
I ALWAYS used it :-)

Now I work very closely with teachers in Bethany High,
I'm practically on the other side of the fence. One of the
teachers there I've noticed can hardly hide the emotions
that she is feeling and she must have had a pretty bad
morning a few days back cause when she came to school
she was pretty close to tears. It was so obvious that her
whole class kept asking her what's wrong, how they can
help, etc and I bet she didn't get to do much teaching
that day.

This brought back my childhood memories and I was
wondering if she had to correct exam/test papers in
that frame of mind, could she really do justice to them.

This brings us to this week's survey.

Do your Personal problems affect your work?

If they do please send us a mail to :

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=affected

If they do not affect please send a mail to

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=unaffected

In either case, please free to add your comments,
views, and especially if you are not affected share
your tips/secrets on what you do to not be affected,
in the body of the message.

On a totally different note, we are now getting an average
3-4 new Laughmates everyday. If I have get to know you and
then introduce each of you it's going to take years. So can I
again request all LaughMates who have not yet been featured
in "Get to know your LaughMates" to please introduce
yourselves. You can send your intros to

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=intro

Thank You. With best wishes for another great week,
and hoping you enjoy another issue of I-Laugh.

Gunjan
www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you !

Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Laugh

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=====  New Discussions  =====

====> Getting to Know Your Laughmates

Dear LaughMates,


What value would you assign Peace of Mind? Is it not
your most valuable asset?

<snip>

Here's a true story...see if you are laughing with me!  Stop
and go, stop and go traffic through an intersection on a cramped
arterial.

The sun, low on the horizon (in Seattle!) suddenly blasts you in
the eyes as you creep between buildings.  You reach down for
your sunglasses as you crawl ahead, seemingly to finally get to
the clear road ahead.

Just a split second...your foot is still on the clutch as you re-engage
first gear.  Wow, with any luck at all you'll get up to 3 mph!!!
Can't feel those dratted glasses, look down...CRUNCH.

As there is no visible damage to either vehicle, no big
deal, right? Just exchange insurance info and get on with
life. You are relieved as the funny, sunny woman you're trading
info with tells you about the last accident she was in...the
other driver was uninsured, caused massive uni-body damage
to this car, and started a series of doctor's appointments to
treat injuries to her neck and arms.  Sure glad that wasn't
me! you think.

Next day, after reporting in to the insurance agent, the phone
rings and you get another chance to tell the tape-recorder what
happened. Seems the other driver is a professional CLOWN,
and the laugh is on you!  She wants her car fixed, and she's in
pain. You laugh, too, and reveal what she'd told you about the
previous accident she'd experienced.

NOW a person with no financial concerns calls their lawyer...
the rest of us trust our insurance agents (who personally have
nothing to gain or lose) to represent our best interests.

Surprise!  Almost a year passes...and another call. The funny
clown has retained that TV lawyer who will get her bazillions of
dollars for the extensive injuries she sustained by being hit from
the rear at 3mph! She is so miserable, she can't make kids laugh,
can't entertain her husband in the evenings, and has surgery
scheduled to repair the damages to her neck and arms and
wrists, so she can continue to wave on other peoples' parades!

NOW legal advice could really help, but your lovely insurance
agent assures you that you've got a wonderful company-assigned
lawyer handling the whole thing...not to worry!  Be HAPPY!
You're in good hands!  And you'll probably never have to speak
to your insurance attorney, isn't that grand?  He's too busy talking
to other lawyers to actually interview clients!  (BTW--He has
your taped interview...)

Another almost year goes by, and you are really, really surprised
when a Process Server appears at your home with greetings and
SUMMONS!  Bozo-Sue Happy is suing you for more than $20,000
over your coverage!  Being a business owner you could get to retire
early and sell your home to provide the funny lady with enough
balloons and cartoons to keep her smiling all the way to the bank!

NOW you demand to speak with "your" attorney FOR the insurance
company. NOW, as long as you have him on the phone, he has
questions about an incident that happened in a split second 23
months ago!  He's just taken this case (the other attorney has
transferred cross-country), and has to be in court in a week.  The
other attorney hadn't prepared a case...just continued it.

NOW you realize whose "assets" this attorney is covering...the
insurance company's!!!  WHO do you call?  Seems there's never
a TV lawyer's info-mercial on when you need one!  Can't get to
those Yellow Pages fast enough, can you? Who's a specialist?
Who has a success record against Scam & Scammer? Who's
available on such short notice?  What magic hat is the retainer
going to be pulled out of? What do you mean the lawyers for
both sides have already continued this case as far as it can
go without resolution in the next session?

What, me worry?!?! Think about building that business while
you still have it! Clean that nice home with joy in your heart,
knowing you might be keeping it nice to sell really soon!
Make a clown happy!  Keep those lawyers rolling in dough
like Pillsbury!

NOW...what if IMMEDIATELY after bumping into the clown
ahead of you, you could have called a law office and KNOWN
that a SPECIALIST attorney would have called you back within
48 hours...without having to make a financial decision first?
You'd have made the call!

NOW, as a Pre-Paid Legal Services member your entire family
could have a top, AV-rated firm protecting your "assets" immediately.
Had my story happened to any member of your family, you
probably would have curtailed the next dreadful 23 months'
events. You certainly would not have been anticipating bankruptcy
and seizures, huge retainers and deadlines looming large!

Unfortunately for me, Pre-Paid Legal Services was not yet
available in Washington State.

My previous experiences with attorneys has led me to be so
impressed with this service, I have chosen to make a difference,
while making a living!  I help others learn how to get this amazing
preventative legal protection, and provide them with an opportunity
to be paid for recommending a service they value, one that
spreads peace of mind to over 1.5 million families across the
US and 4 provinces of Canada.

I read I-Laugh regularly, because I often work with good people
who've had their lives shattered by unexpected complications,
and who are seeking reasonable means of attaining resolution. I
need to see the funny side of life, so I can stay strong and help
others regain hope and control over their most valuable asset...
peace of mind!

If you have a legal situation or question, feel free utilize $1/2
million worth of legal information. Just click on my website
below, then choose FREE RESOURCES.

Karen Alls, Independent Associate, Pre-Paid Legal Services, Inc.
Proud to be making a living, making a difference!
http://www.affordablejustice.com/alls.htm
allswell@olypen.com


(Moderator's Note - When Karen had replied to our survey
stating that she was a regular reader of I-Laugh, I really
liked her signature 'Proud to be making a living, making
a difference!' I had invited her to share what she was doing
with Laughmates and to explain how she was making a
difference. This post is in reply to that invitation and not
just a plug.)

====>  Grace?

Hi Friends,

In last week's issue I had mentioned that I had made two
new friends. I told you about Gabor www.tracert.com (By
the way Gabor says none of you took the trouble to visit
his site. He has some great tools like a tool which checks
the speed with which your web site loads up so do visit).

Well, now let's get to the other friend I made. Chris works
in the Bethany Library and is a quiet and soft spoken
gentleman. So though I've known he was around I never
got to exchanging anything more than helloes, till last week
that is.

Last week, as I was having a cup of tea with someone in
the school canteen, Chris showed up. My companion
knows Chris better and invited him to join us for a cup of tea.
I was surprised when Chris replied - "Sure. I'll have two teas
and two buns." Apparently my companion was surprised
too and asked him if he always had two teas and two buns.
Chris replied with a big smile - "No, I normally have four buns,
but I'll let you have the pleasure of paying only for two."

So finding out that Chris had a neat sense of humor I started
finding out about him and discovered that he had worked in
the British Merchant Navy for 14 years - A 'greenhorn' by his
description.

Pestering him for sailing humor resulted in him telling me of
this real life incident.

On one of the ships he worked on there was a second officer
who was over 65 years old. He had worked his way up to
captain and then after retirement rejoined at the lower post
so he could enjoy the sailing without the same amount of
responsibility. So he commanded enormous respect through
out the ship. As a greenhorn Chris used to hang on to every
word he said.

Now this officer had a custom. Every time his meals were
served he would at the food on his plate and then mutter
under his breath - "Hebrews 13, Verse 8".

Everyone assumed that he was saying his grace, in short.
It was only after Chris had left the navy and turned to the
Bible that he discovered, 'Hebrews 13, Verse 8' reads as follows -

Jesus Christ. The same yesterday, and today, and for ever.


Hope you enjoyed that. I certainly did. And I'm outta here
to try and corner Chris for some more stories.

;-)
Gunjan
Jest a Quote (or three)
Daily Humorous Quotes by mail.
Subscribe by sending a blank mail to -
quote-subscribe@topica.com


Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=grace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cartoon Break

Oh Captain...
http://ugrin.com/?152-523

I love Personals
http://ugrin.com/?152-511

=====  REPLIES=====

===> Definitions of a Joke

  >From Srivatsa Kadaba <srivatsakadaba@yahoo.com>


A "JOKE" is a

Jaunt Of Bloody Krooked English

  (the "B" is silent)

Srivatsa



Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=JokeDefined

====> Public Speaking Tips

Dear LaughMates,

We now move on to a series of Articles written
by Tom Antion on public speaking. I have found them
extremely helpful. Please let me know using the link
after the article whether you are enjoying it too.

Why Use Humor?

Why should I bother using humor in my presentations? Can't
I just deliver my information and sit down? You sure can and
that's what most people do. The problem is that most people
are not effective presenters. They are nighty nite, snooze
inducing, say your prayers, hit the sack, unlicensed hypnotists.
They are ZZZZZs presenters. They might be experts in their field
and be able to recite hours and hours of information on their
topic, but is that effective?

According to Bob Orben, Special Assistant to President
Gerald Ford and Former Director of the White House Speech
writing Department, "Business executives and political leaders
have embraced humor because humor works. Humor has gone
from being an admirable part of a leader's character to a
mandatory one."

A survey of top executives who earned more than $250,000
per year was conducted by a large executive search firm.
The survey found that these executives believed their
communication skills were the  number one factor that carried
them to the top. Mastering the use of humor and other
high-explosion techniques puts a fine polish on your
presentation skills which can help propel you to the top of
the speaking profession.

There are many benefits you can derive from using humor in
your presentations. Keep in mind that these benefits only help
you reach your ultimate purpose for making the presentation.
They are not purposes themselves unless, of course, you are
only interested in entertaining.

Using humor does the following for you:

HELPS YOU CONNECT WITH THE AUDIENCE.

MAKES YOU MORE LIKEABLE.

AROUSES INTEREST.

KEEPS ATTENTION.

HELPS EMPHASIZE POINTS AND IDEAS.

DISARMS HOSTILITY.

OVERCOMES OVERLY FLATTERING INTRODUCTIONS.

GETS YOUR POINT ACROSS WITHOUT CREATING HOSTILITY.

HELPS RELATE FACTS AND FIGURES.

MAKES A POSITIVE IMPRESSION.

SHOWS THAT YOU DON'T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY.

HELPS PAINT PICTURES IN THE AUDIENCE'S MIND.

MAKES INFORMATION MORE MEMORABLE.

LIGHTENS UP HEAVY MATERIAL.

TOM'S ADDITIONAL LIST

YOU WILL BE ASKED BACK.
YOU WILL GET HIGHER EVALUATIONS OR MORE SALES.
YOU WILL MAKE MORE MONEY.
YOU WILL MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. This is my favorite benefit.
I get great satisfaction from knowing that I have brightened
someone else's life. I had an executive come up to me after
one of my seminars and say, "You opened up a whole new
world for me." I almost cried right on the spot. I'll never forget it.

Next issue learn techniques to deliver your talk without notes.

Tom Antion
Great Speaking

You can subscribe to his free newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below)

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Thanks,
Gunjan
http://www.workinghumor.com/jfp
coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Speaking

===========  Helpful Humor Tip  ==========

I have recently noticed a few people who try
to put out a public figure of being extremely
humorous and of having a great sense of humor
actually are most grumpy people in private.

The most recent example was at a show I
attended last week. One of the speakers is
pretty well admired because everyone thinks
he has a great sense of humor.

At this show unfortunately there was a small snag
with the curtain and the curtain wouldn't go up.
The delay wasn't too long and I don't think anyone
in the audience would have noticed it, if not for
a voice screaming at the helpers with extremely
rude words. The voice was unmistakable. Our
friend had not realized that the speaker system was
on and so was screaming at the helpers.

His audience thus got a look at his private side being
so distinct from his public image. I don't think I was
alone in not enjoying his showmanship that day.

For those of you who have a charming public
image and are known for a great sense of humor,
why not let some of it seep in to your private life
too. It'll ensure that you won't get embarrassed in
this way and also might save you and people
close to you from getting ulcers. ;-)
(Gunjan)

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Deceive

===========  This week's Humor  ==========

A woman, on a perennial diet, starved her husband right along
with herself, till he complained to his pastor that he couldn't
get his wife to serve him a decent meal and he was growing
positively malnourished.

"I can't get her to listen to reason.  Maybe you can get
somewhere with her," the hubby complained.

So the pastor counseled the ever-dieting woman, who at last
saw the error of her ways.

"What shall I do to make amends?" she asked her spiritual counselor.

He told her, "Just repent and thin no more."
(By Cynthia MacGregor)

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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FAQ, Information & Archives at our website,
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Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg

YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh
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Your Working Humor Discussion List.
http://www.workinghumor.com
Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

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you are using.

A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..

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