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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

26th December  2001    #     039
"If you dreamed it was Christmas, and you woke up and it wasn't ...
you'd be too disgusted to get out of bed, too !"
~ Dennis the Menace


Moderator's Comment -
                            ~ Eva
                                    ~ Gunjan


                            ~ Gunjan

Speaker Story
                           ~ D.C Stultz

                           ~ Mini
                           ~ Gunjan


New Years Greetings
                           ~ Arik Schenkler
                           ~ Eva and Gunjan


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Moderator's Message

Dear LaughMates,

This year has marked the baptism by fire of our dear Gunjan.
He conceived of this Digest and pestered me endlessly to
mentor him and help him build and refine this humor
discussion. Well, I'm very proud of him.

He's made a magnificent start in building readers and
community. We've got a group of really loyal and
generous friends who contribute posts, experiences and
ideas. Personally, I am particularly fascinated with the
stories from India and Gunjan's club. His world is so
different from mine, so structured, yet so similar.

One of the things I had wanted to do, in the blush of
youth, was to learn the languages and travel the world,
slowly, and sit with the elderly. I wanted to hear their
stories, folktales and myths and save them for the
future. We know that as the older generation dies,
their languages and their stories are lost with them.

Well, that didn't happen. At least not then. Now, with
the Internet, many people have been able to gather such
things and make them available to the rest of us, if we
know where to look.

But here, at I-Laugh, we are gathering the humor, the
point of view and perspective, of cultures around the
world. I love that!  Sometimes, we don't all understand
the humor, because our frames of references are so
different. But, that's how we'll learn more about each

Do we have funny stories to impart? Let's face it, in the
course of a business day, there are so many times we
burst out laughing. I wish I could capture those moments
and bring them here.

Like last week, when a friend send a gift to my PO Box.
She wrote me frantically, "I had sent it via UPS and
they don't deliver to PO Boxes. You may never get it."
The next day, Roberto, my UPS driver brought it up."
We all cracked up - it seems UPS knows all....they have
a cross-reference in their database about our PO Boxes
and street addresses.

Oh, then, opening the huge box, bigger than a case of
paper, filled with thousands of those styrofoam peanuts,
what did we find? One little box - and nothing else.
Bemused, we opened that. And it was a glass vase.
Nice, but...then, I did what people seem to do,
instinctively, with crystal or china - I turned it over.
And laughed out loud! The label on the base said,
EVA. They found a vase named after me. Now,
THAT's special.

Tell us about the funniest gift moments you had this
season - giving or getting. I'll bet there were things you
loved,  hated and cracked up over.

Your Comic Guide

Eva Rosenberg

Dear LaughMates,

It's 10 am on Christmas morning when my phone rings.
"Can I speak to Chiku?" says a voice using a pet name
which very few people have used in the last 10 years.

"Yes, Chiku here. Who's this?" I reply.

"Take a  guess" says the voice.

"Can you give me a hint?" I ask.

"Sure!" says the voice "Take a trip down memory lane".

"How far should I go?" I double check. "3 years? 10 years?"

"How old are you now?" asks the voice. "35" I reply.

"Well then try going back about 31 years" says the voice.

"Hemant Bhaiya*" I say instantly. Though he has been in
the US for over 15 years, there are some people
whom you may not meet for decades, who may not be
related to you by blood, but mean more to you than
brothers, cause when you were together they took
care of you as elder brothers.

Richard Bach puts it this way - "The bond that links your
true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's
life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under
the same roof."

Difficult to believe but Hemant Bhaiya is in town for the
day and I have a whale of time spending most of the
day with him. Even manage to squeeze in a game
of chess. Wow! when was the last time I'd played?
Just this morning before the call I was thinking, this
is going to be my most lonely Christmas.

And they say I'm too old to believe in Santa Claus!!
(Of course you're entitled to your own view, don't
miss Chico's view in the Humor Section for this week)

With no further ado, Here's I-Laugh 39......

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak

(* Bhaiya is the Hindi word for elder brother.
Hemant Bhaiya to me would to you be -
Mr. Hemant Habbu,
Attorney at Law,
San Jose, California.)


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=====  Replies =====

===> Advice

Hi Friends,

With reference to Eva's moderator's comments in
this issue about the mentoring and guidance that
she has given me, it reminded me of a quote by
Benjamin Franklin.

"Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it."

Thank God I didn't think I was wise enough to not
need advice nor foolish enough to not take it.
Her advice and guidance have been instrumental
in bringing I-Laugh to where it is now and I'm sure
will play an even bigger part as we grow in the coming

Talking of advice, Eva advices you to take a quick
look at http://www.toweleban.com and see whether
little humor touches like these can serve as good
promos for your serious sites.

With best wishes,
www.workinghumor.com/quotes/ -
From Master Quotes to Mis Quotes!

===> Speaker Stories

From D C Stultz - dc@darlcomm.com


I'm an old Toastmaster member and have done a lot of
local rubber-chicken circuit presentations to area service
clubs. You might call this "Tips on how to get 'em there
and keep 'em there."

A service club president called me and asked me to speak
at their breakfast meeting the following month. I suggested
my "Alcoholism" speech. (I'm a recovered alcoholic -- been
sober over 19 years now).  He remarked that that sounded
like a good topic and that he thought a couple of his
members probably should hear more about the topic.

I suggested to him that he promo it in their newsletter and
at the meeting before as a Mystery Speaker. I told him that
if any of his members had a drinking problem, they would
never, ever attend a meeting where someone was going to
talk about alcoholism. So, he played up the Mystery Speaker
idea big time and when I arrived for the talk, he told me that
it was the biggest crowd he'd seen in a long time.

He introduced me and my topic and I heard a couple of
groans from the audience. I opened the talk by thanking the
president, of course, then I remarked, "I know from
personal experience that the last thing someone with a
drinking problem wants to hear is a speaker talking
about alcoholism. Those of you who might be tempted
to leave are the ones that probably need the most to hear
what I've got to say.... So don't leave now
or else your friends will wonder about you!"

That last tag line got a good laugh. The talk went well.
And not a single person left the room.

When I finished and returned control back to the club
president, he came to the lectern roaring with laughter. To
his club members he remarks, "I note that Frank and Joe
stayed for the entire program."  That brought down the house.
It was an inside joke. Frank and Joe always pleaded that
they had to get to work and never stayed for the speaker
portion of the program -- until that day and my comment.

Wake up to the Morning Message on
Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays.
Send a message to dc@darlcomm.com
with 'Morning Message' in the subject or body.

Wake up to the Morning Message on
Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays.
Send a message to dc@darlcomm.com
with 'Morning Message' in the subject or body.

Comments or if have you a tale to share -

Cartoon Break

Nothing to worry about!

Proof of other life...

Fortune Cookie

===> Leisure

From Mini <mini@lucky.co.ae>

Dear Gunjan

This haiku has prompted me to share something quite
humorous that accidentally slipped out of my husband's
(a confirmed / certified workaholic, needless to mention
belonging to this IT coterie) mouth the other day when a
friend suggested him to take an off on Thursday. Let me tell
you that in Dubai or this part of the world, the weekly off is
on Thursday and Friday for the companies observing a
5 day week. This is how he responded :

So you suggest that I take the day off tomorrow...
That is Thursday. It is fine. But tell me,
What do I do............! (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah).

That says it all.

PS: Why did you not insert cartoon break in this issue....
that is the first thing that I look for !

(Editor's note - I am really sorry that I missed including
the cartoon break last week. I the editor gave I the compiler
a good hard whack for such a silly goof up. :-)
As promised there are two cartoon breaks this week as
weak attempt to make up :-)

Comments -

===> More on Leisure

With reference to Mini's post on Leisure, I've known a few
people who have no idea what to do with any extra time
(anything beyond routine) and it always amazes me.

There was a cousin of mine who was perpetually bored.
A brother-in-law of mine spends most of his leisure time
playing cards. We had once gone for a holiday, taken a
little cottage on a treehouse just off the beach. It was
so beautiful I could have spent a week doing nothing
except soaking in the beautiful sight. But what does this
person want to do there? Play Cards!

He was so upset that we had forgotten to bring a pack of
cards. After huffing and puffing for about half an hour he
pleaded a head ache and went back. Thank God we had
come in two cars and so I could stay back, enjoy the scene
and try my hand at playing Wordsworth. :-)

When my son ever comes to me saying he is bored I tell
him - "I'll suggest one fun activity to you, after that we'll see
how things go. Sit down, take a pencil and an eraser (not a
pen) and start making a list of what would be the ten most
fun things you could be doing right now. You can use
imagination as freely as you want and not worry about
whether those things are possible."

Normally he needs just a wee bit of pushing with the first
few. "Can't think of anything, Pop". So I'll suggest ....
"Would it be fun to be in Disneyland right now or to be
flying remote controlled airplane or trying to make your
own cartoon movie." Gradually as he gets caught up with
the idea he starts coming up with his own choices. And
the beauty of children is that somewhere along the list
hidden between things playing with Martians and making
the biggest firecracker in the world is normally an activity
like playing cricket with friends or cycling with Pop
which can actually be done. Or if there aren't any simple
choices then we go on to role-playing.

"Ok, I'm a Martian. How would you like me dressed
up" etc.

In any case the list making itself can keep him occupied
and having fun for an hour or more (Now you realize the
importance of the eraser).

Unfortunately it's tougher to suggest things like these to
adults. But no harm in trying who knows it may just work. :-)

I had an uncle whose favorite leisure activity was sitting
and dreaming how he would spend a billion dollars if he
won it at a lottery. He spent years of his life with it.

Just my 2 cents worth,
WZ-ard of Virtual Travel
(Here's another Great Leisure Activity !!! ;-)

Cartoon Break (This one's for Mini :-)



Going out..

=====  New Discussions  =====

====> New Years Greetings

(Moderator's Comments - I received Arik's personal
New Year Greetings a couple of day's back. I thought
it was one of the most innovative e-greetings that I've
received. So with his permission I'm reproducing it here
for all of you.)

From Arik Schenkler <shenkler@netvision.net.il>

Gunjan Shalom,

I want to wish you and all yours with happy holiday.
It was a tough year and I wanted to highlight ten good things
that happened for me this year:

1. It's ending -:) - Well, in a few days, it's all over and a
bright new future is on our step.

2. The "After" of the terrorists attacks - The bravery of the
rescue forces, the medical help, the media and all the people
that handed openly and from their hearts.

3. The decision to end terrorism.

4. The new babies in all families around the world,
especially - Roye, Fred and Chris - Mazal Toov.

5. (in a sharp jump -:)) Michael Jordan is back.

6. The Human Genome project is done, successfully (btw,
have they researched Michael's genome? -:)).

7. The Internet is growing, about 430 million people are

8. The lowest interest rates for the last 40 years.

9. The re-broadcasting of Seinfeld in the Israeli channel 3.
I laugh -:). Which reminds me that I-Laugh
(http://www.WorkingHumor.com) started this year.

10. Your friendship and help for me and the Internet Dollar
project throughout the all year.

Best wishes and happy holidays,
Arik Schenkler - CEO

Use Internet Dollar emoney for anonymity,
finalization of deal and fee free funds movements
from peer to peer - http://InternetDollar.com

Comments :

====> New Year's Greetings

From Eva and Gunjan

Hi Friends,

We haven't yet been able to come up with an equally
innovative New Year's Greeting. But there are still a couple
of days to go so hopefully we'll come up with something
and will surprise you just before the end of the Year.

However since this is the last issue this year we thought
we'll take the opportunity to thank each and every one of
you Laughmates for the wonderful support that you've given
right from our mischievous birth on April Fool's Day.
On this occasion we invite you to share with us some of
the things that you most enjoy....


and some of the things which you dislike and feel
we could improve....


with I-Laugh. So we can try and make it better in the
coming New Year.

A very special  Thank you to Phil and Clara who
have not just laughed with us but kept us laughing.
(If you want to thank them too scroll back all ...... naah,
I'll make it easy for you and give you the URL right
here. http://www.MaxPatchInk.com?laugh ;-)

Just because I mention Joel second, it doesn't mean
his contribution has been any less important. If Phil
and Clara have kept us going Joel has kept us
growing. (To thank Joel visit him at
http://www.ikestrel.com )

So with a final word of Thanks ........

(BTW - Just in case we don't think up something!


With Warm Regards,

Eva and Gunjan
www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you !


===========  This week's Humor  ==========

A man walked into the produce section of his local
supermarket and asked to buy "half" a head of lettuce.
The boy working in that Department told him that they
only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent
that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager,
"Some idiot wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man
standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly
offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed
with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We
like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from,

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada," the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but hookers and hockey players
up there."

"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No kidding? Whom did she play for?"

The Movie: A Day At The Races:

The scene: After Groucho Marx has crossed out most of the
sections of a proposed contract:

Groucho:  "party of the first part, nah, we don't need  that."

Chico: "And what's a that."

Groucho: "Oh, that's a standard clause. We need this one. It says
that if one of the parties isn't legally sane, then the contract is void.
It's the sanity clause."

Chico: "Ahh, you canna foola me. I know there's no sanity clause!"

(Thanks Stan Kegel)

Comments :


I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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Your Working Humor Discussion List.
Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

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A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..


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