I-Laugh Archives
Your Working Humor Discussion List

I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

6th February  2002    #     045
Your mouse has moved. Please wait while
Windows restarts for the change to take effect.
~~ Anon ~~


Moderator's Comment -
                                ~ Gunjan
                                ~ Eva


                               ~ Gunjan

Call for Assistance
                               ~ Gunjan


                             ~ Amit Malik


----------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------

"NEED INK?... It's NO 'Laughing' matter when ya run out!"
Worse yet, Paying RETAIL prices! SAVE Up TO 80%!....

High Quality Ink Jet Cartridges, Refill  Kits and JetPak
pre-paid Mailers... Satisfaction IS Guaranteed!
FREE Printer Utilities! Come Save Now!

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

Moderator's Message

Dear LaughMates,

This is going to be an extremely short issue. Dad's managed to pick-up 'Fluracy', some kind of fluid in the lungs and is in the hospital. The doctors say it's not a big deal, but unfortunately it's happened not even a month after my aunt passed away and so Dad is quite psyched.

So here's your brief issue, and see you next week.

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:


And a word from that other moderator:

Dear LaughMates,

It's time like these (See Gunjan's note above) that really test your sense of humor -- and balance.

Unfortunately, I am really bad with this kind of thing. So many people close to me died early (mother, grandfather, father, friends,...) or faced cancer, that the only way I could come to deal with all the  misery was through humor.

What's funny, though, is that people approach a sickbed with great trepidation and solemnity. They speak, haltingly, in low tones, as if afraid that speaking out loud might bring about the person's demise. Give me a break! That's still the same person you laughed with and bickered with last

Talk to them, make them laugh, tease them...bring them back out of themselves. You can't imagine how energizing the laughter can be...even if it makes them cough and wheeze a lot.

My mother is getting up there (I can't reveal a lady's age).  From her delicate health, we never expected her to live past 50. Yet, mumble years later (think, post Holocaust), she's still going strong, with all the aches and ailments of her age. Sometimes she kvetches - about her body, or us. (Jewish mothers are never satisfied.)  Our running gag, when she's feeling so poorly, is

"Nu, and the bad news is....you'll live to 120!"

A friend of mine, deeply in the throes of cancer treatments was having such a hard time. Her husband had abandoned her. Her insurance wasn't covering her costs. The treatment was painful. And we were rolling on the floor laughing...and she was threatening to go on stage with all the dark humor.
Could you just see this?

"Cancer is good for you because..."
It gets rid of your excess baggage.
You don't need to see your hairdresser any more.
It's a great weight loss regimen.
It's no sweat. I mean really - no sweat glands left.
It cleans up your DayTimer - no one wants to see you anymore.

So, what kind of dark humor can you come up with for illness and funerals?

To this day, family members remember the times we laughed together during the illnesses. There was so little of it.

Let's say a prayer for Gunjan's father...and toss in some joy for his wonderful life and terrific son.

Your Comic Guide,

Eva Rosenberg

Please, send any comments to:

---------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------
Internet solutions customized precisely to your
needs so you sell more, work smarter, grow faster.
            > design | multimedia | eCommerce | database <
            >  >  hosting | CRM | marketing | promotion   < <
Contact us today for a free strategic consultation.
mailto:info@ikestrel.com http://www.ikestrel.com

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

=====  Continuing Discussions  =====

===> Ambition

Hi Friends,

Don't have the time to write about my favorite celebrity response to the question "How would you like to be remembered" but I can tell you about my personal financial ambitions (I had written that to someone earlier so cut and paste :-)

Here we go ....

As to monetary ambitions (including my personal one) I found answers (I know it's crazy) in a joke.

A man walks into a pub with an ostrich, orders a couple of drinks and some snacks and then asks for his bill. As soon as the bartender hands him his cheque he puts his hand into his pocket and comes out with the exact change right down to the last cent.

When this has happened 3 nights in a row, the bartender can't hold back his curiosity and asks the person how he always has the exact amount.

The person with the ostrich replies that once he had two wishes granted to him. As his first wish he asked that whenever he needed any money he'd find the amount in his pocket. He added, "So now whether I'm buying a simple dinner or a sportscar all I have to do is put my hand in my pocket and the exact amount is there."

Now that, in my humble opinion (as confirmed by the bartender), is the smartest monetary wish. Much smarter than having tons of money which would include the trouble of looking after it, risk getting mugged/kidnapped etc, and have your neighbor covet your **** (I'm assuming here you carry you wallet in your back pocket ;-)

The rest of the joke is not really relevant to this post but I don't think it's nice to leave people half-way through jokes so I'll complete it for you.

The bartender still amazed at the smartness and wisdom of this man goes on and asks - "Well, what's with the ostrich?" The person replies - "For my second wish I asked for a chick with long legs."

Before I sign off here's another little tale not just of great ambitions but brave efforts to achieve them -

A person notices a farmer standing and doing nothing in his field. Morning, evening whenever he passes by the farmer is just standing doing nothing while his wife does all the farm work.

After observing this for a week, the onlooker can't hold back his curiosity and walks up to the farmers wife and asks her what her husband is doing and why.

She replies - "Oh! his ambition in life is to win a Nobel Prize! He heard someone say that it is given to people who are out-standing in their field!!"

Well as I said before, ambition is serious business, as serious (almost) as laughter, so I hope you enjoy these perspectives on ambition.

Comments :

====> Call for Assistance

Hi Scott,

 >   --  "You will never see me flying up as one of those butterflies!"
 >   --  "You will never get me to fly like one of those butterflies."

These don't sound as neat as your original...

 >   "And the one says to the other,
 >     'You'll never get me up in one of those things."

... 'cause a in this case it makes you feel that butterfly is still a caterpillar using a an external device like wings to fly. Also the phrase is so typical of people afraid to fly.

The nearest equivalent I can think of which still simplifies the phrase for people who may not get it would be.

"No way will I ever use one of those flying machines."

Just my 2 cents worth,

www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you !

Comments -

=====  New Discussions  =====

====> Spam

Hi Gunjan, Eva, I-Laughmates,

Thank you for the raving welcome to I-Laugh/Working Humor! With the
few issues that I have gone through, I must say that I have become a fan!

Since some time there has been this thread on SPAM mail (on the I-Sales
list) and how it takes away 4 days of work time in a year etc. Though I agree that spam is a problem I don't think it is something to get overly troubled about.

Quite the contrary, if I could I would encourage staff to have some harmless fun replying to spam email when bored or overworked or whatever and then share their 'e-prank' with other staff during 'recess' time! I received an unsolicited email today that was fun reading - the kind of 'e-prank'/harmless fun that I had in mind (see below.)

Note that its not a regular hoax chain letter, its not a virus, it doesn't harm human beings or their computers, but it does its job so well, it gets passed around (like a chain letter and virus - making the author famous - the same reason perhaps some other authors come up with chain letters and viruses) and brings about a smile!

I also think, for now, there is an opportunity for someone to make money on this topic by coming up with something like...

'Fun With Phone Solicitors : 50 Ways to Get Even! - by Robert W. Harris' (Check it out at Amazon.)

... on spam.

Make it a reason to spread cheer!

One candidate is the author of the following mail. I was ROFL when I read the following mail. Seems like it's the work of (a grown up) Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes. :-)

===============Start of unsolicited email=================

Subject: Time Travelers PLEASE HELP!! ..

If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human and or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!

My life has been severely tampered with and cursed!!
I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!

I need to be able to:
- Travel back in time.
- Rewind my life including my age back to 4.
- Be able to remember what I know now so that I can prevent my life from being tampered with again after I go back.

I am in very great danger and need this immediately!

I am aware that there are many types of time travel, and that humans do not do well through certain types.

I need as close to temporal reversion as possible, as safely as possible. To be able to rewind the hands of time in such a way that the universe of now will cease to exist.

I know that there are some very powerful people out there with alien or government equipment capable of doing just that.

If you can help me I will pay for your teleport or trip down here, Along with hotel stay, food and all expenses. I will pay top dollar for the equipment. Proof must be provided.

Please be advised that any temporal device that you may employ must
account for X, Y, and Z coordinates as well as the temporal location.

I have a time machine now, but it has limited abilities and is useless without a vortex. If you can provide information on how to create vortex generator or where I can get some of the blue glowing moon crystals this would also be helpful.

Also if you are one of the very, very, few beings with the ability to edit the universe PLEASE REPLY!!!

Only if you have this technology and can help me please send me a (SEPARATE) email to:


Please do not reply if your an evil alien!

===============End of unsolicited email=================

Suggested title for the book? "Carry on laughing with SPAM!"

As for introducing myself... I run a website about achieving personal & business ambition called RicherThanBillGates.Com - the premise of which is being highly questioned in this very list! And to think that I opened this mail with a 'I am fan of I-Laugh'! :-0

You will hear more about me and from me as time goes by! :-)

Some sections on the site are active.

Have fun. Take care.

Best regards,

Amit Malik.

Richer Than Bill Gates
The website about achieving personal & business ambition.

Hi Amit,

Good to know you're enjoying I-Laugh/Workinghumor.com If the premise for your site is being questioned it's because the more important something is in life the more important it is that you can handle it with humor.

I don't have the time to look for stats right now but I'm sure, unfulfilled ambitions ranks right on top along with failed romances as causes for suicides.

So I think it's important for a site like yours, which eggs a person on, also have resources on distinguishing between positive goals and goals which will cause frustration or dissatisfaction, on how to handle it if you're not reaching yours goals and of course the lighter side of goals ...

"If you don't succeed at first, try and try again .... then quit,
no sense in being a damn fool about it!"

"If you don't succeed at first, skydiving is not for you!

... etc. Sure hope we can discuss this matter in more detail.

Oh another thing, would suggest your staff relaxes by battling wits in a list like PUNY (Punsters United Nearly Yearly) or even taking part in the pun contest in my Jest for Pun newsletter (they might win a T-Shirt for their efforts) rather than replying to spam which will only increase the amount of spam they receive!


Tata, for now ....

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak

===========  This week's Humor  ==========

====> Tact

Some years after he had worked on a film with a glamorous movie star, a particular cinematographer was asked to work with her again.

The diva was not at all satisfied with the production. "In the first film we did," began her complaint, "I looked radiant, beautiful, divine! This time I look like an hold hag," she shot sourly.

"Perhaps, Madame," retorted the cinematographer with intended barb, "it has something to do with the fact that I was eight years younger then."

(From Jo-Lene's Daily Humor)

Comments :


I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh :

FAQ, Information & Archives at our website,

Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg

YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh
electronically free of charge, under the following

First: The author of the piece receives full credit,
with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact

Second: The following byline is included.
"This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh,
Your Working Humor Discussion List.
Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

However, if you are getting paid for your  publication
(it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to
contact us to arrange a payment  to us for the material
you are using.

A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..


I -Laugh

Info for Newbies
Submission Guidelines
Articles Index

Business Cartoons


Selling Humor

Professional Humor
Medical Humor
Educational Humor
Military Humor
Advertising Humor

If you've had enough 'Serious' Humor relax in our 'pun' zone -
Jest For Pun

About Us

Contact Us

DaVinci Code

Kids Costumes


WorkingHumor.com now has a Facebook Page. It's still a baby, hasn't learnt how to dance yet
but maybe you're the one we're waiting for, to get the party started ;o!
Check it out here

Custom Search