I-Laugh Archives
Your Working Humor Discussion List

I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

20th February  2002    #     047
If you are writing about baloney, don't try and make it
Cornish hen, because that's the worst kind of baloney
there is. Just make it darn good baloney.
~ Leo Burnett


Moderator's Comment -
                        ~ Gunjan


                         ~ Sana Akili

                               ~ Amit
                               ~ Gunjan

                               ~ Amit
                               ~ Gunjan

Speaker Tips
                             ~ from Tom Antion

What Pops Up must.....
                             ~ Gunjan


----------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------

"NEED INK?... It's NO 'Laughing' matter when ya run out!"
Worse yet, Paying RETAIL prices! SAVE Up TO 80%!....

High Quality Ink Jet Cartridges, Refill  Kits and JetPak
pre-paid Mailers... Satisfaction IS Guaranteed!
FREE Printer Utilities! Come Save Now!

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

Moderator's Message

Dear LaughMates,

First of all good news, Dad's back home.

Next, for all you Laughmates who are Windows
Users, I have a little gift. It's at

Lastly, as we have a rather longish issue, I'd better keep
my comments shortish. :-) Right?

I've really enjoyed the exchange of quotations in the posts
from and my replies to Amit. If anybody else here is a fan
of quotations send us your favorite work quotations.

(Remember these don't have to have originally been related
to work as long as you relate them to work. For example
Napoleon's quote - "You must not fight too often with one
enemy, or you will teach him all your tricks of war." I'm sure
wasn't meant to be a marital quote but it's my favorite.

So here's where you send us your favorite work quotes...


And then, without further ado, here's I-Laugh #47

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

---------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------
Internet solutions customized precisely to your
needs so you sell more, work smarter, grow faster.
            > design | multimedia | eCommerce | database <
            >  >  hosting | CRM | marketing | promotion   < <
Contact us today for a free strategic consultation.
mailto:info@ikestrel.com http://www.ikestrel.com

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

=====  Continuing Discussions  =====

====> Nostalgia

From Sana <sana-akili@rocketmail.com>

Dear Gunjan,

As I was reading today's edition, and your mention of
Ustad Zakir Hussain, it brought back memories. My
best friend (an Indian) insisted I join her for a concert here
in Ames, Iowa, a few years ago. It was Zakir Husain, and
some other musician on a Sitar. I just LOVED the tabla of
Zakir Hussain. His music (along with his good looks) made
it a memorable experience. Not to mention that in Arabic,
we also call it the tabla, and it just makes you want to
jump up and do something...anything!


Sana Akili
Marketing Instructor
Iowa State University

===> Ambition

From Amit Malik <amit@RicherThanBillGates.com>

Gunjan, Laughmates,

> Well Zakir's response to the question was simple and direct.
> "I would like to remembered as Allah Rakha's son" he said.

> Isn't that quite a unique wish? What do you think Amit ? :-)

I agree. It certainly is!

And to think that he has done everything he shouldn't do to
be remembered as a famous personality's son. For that wish
you need to work on being the 'good for nothing son!'

But jokes apart Gunjan, you described him as: "Ustad Zakir
Hussain is a tabla maestro and one of the best known Indian
classical music figures in the world."

'Ustad' (= Knighthood title, in the tabla industry), 'maestro' & 'best
known' - that's 3 superlatives in one sentence! Point is: Nobody
celebrates or enjoys the human spirit to the utmost/ best without
taking up the challenge to surpass the current best and be the
'next and better' best. Whether it is Einstein, Michael Jordan, Zakir
Hussain... they all share one common thing - unsurpassed success
fueled by... amongst talent, practice and other things - ambition -
the urge to be the best.

     The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim
     is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and
     we reach it.
                                           - Michelangelo.

Best regards,

Amit Malik.

Richer Than Bill Gates
The website about achieving personal & business ambition.

Comments :

===> Ambition

Hi Amit,

When you talk of being a good for nothing I hope you're
speaking in the same vein as Walt a subscriber of my
Jest for Pun.

Here's a recent submission of his ...

When I was little my mother would give us money for
being good. My brother was good for a dollar and my
sister was good for a quarter. Me? I was good for nothing!
 ~ Walt Holzhueter

Anyway kidding aside, Thanks for not including Bill Gates
among that list of people who want to be the best.

    "The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining
    armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological
    chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling
    second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place."
                                        ~ Douglas Adams, on Windows 95

Now getting truly serious, let me take you to the realm of some
of my favorite books as they have some great examples and simplify
making my point. Have you read Atlas Shrugged? In it some of the
characters - Francisco D'anconia, John Galt, Henry Reardon, and
of course Dagny Taggart are some of the people of genius and
ambition, the people who are the engines that move the world.

And yet much as I love these characters, I also enjoy and am
enthralled by the character of Eddie Willers. He is not their equal
and he knows it. He will never reach their heights and he knows
that too. What he does have is a moral integrity of accepting
that he will not reach those heights, working as hard as he can
and doing his best, to ensure that he does well whatever he CAN

Unfortunately, Amit, most motivational books that I read, or trainers
that I've seen, or parents and teachers that I come across regularly,
seem to be so obsessed with the Reardens and John Galts, or
the Jordans and Husseins for that matter, that they don't even want
to talk about the Eddie Willers.

In his book The Class - Eric Segal explained this phenomena
beautifully. He tells us, in Harvard, there is a sudden convergence
of students who have been used to being the number 1 in their
schools and colleges. Suddenly out of 40 (or whatever the correct
number was) who are all used to being number 1 only 1 can be
number 1. Imagine the pressure that this puts on the other
39. Unfortunately as these 39 have never learnt that it's ok to be
Eddie Willers too, it puts the suicide rates at Harvard at an
incredible high.

Take your own statement ....

> Nobody celebrates or enjoys the human spirit to the
> utmost/ best without taking up the challenge to surpass
> the current best and be the 'next and better' best.

... and think about it.

I recently started learning the drums. But I have no intention
of giving Neil Peart or Billy Cobham a run for their money. In
fact I don't even dream of being better than Dr. Santosh who is
giving me the lessons when he finds time. I'm learning it simply
because learning about beats helps me in my quest to write
better poetry.

Even as far as poetry is concerned I know for certain that
I won't be rated among the Shakespeares, Wordsworths
or Miltons. So am I wasting my time writing poetry?
Which would be a celebration of human spirit ... to give up
because I can't beat these Masters or to keep improving
my stuff to the best of my ability?

You said in an earlier post that you had become a fan of I-Laugh.
Why? By no stretch of imagination can one say that I-Laugh is
THE best newsletter in the world. But you still like it. If you analyze
why, you'll find it's because what you find here are some honest folk
trying their best to give you their best.

The stress, my friend, in my opinion should be on ONE's best,
not THE best. (And even that not always. For a good example,
refer Srivatsa's bullock cart story, which we'd discussed way back
in I-Laugh #009 http://www.workinghumor.com/archives/issue09.htm)

With best wishes,

Jest a Quote (or three) [quote-subscribe@topica.com]
"If your going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry
for in the morning, sleep late."
~ Henny Youngman

Comments :

Cartoon Break

Smart Male Choice...

Say No To Crack!

A woman's Thoughts...


====> Spam

Gunjan, Elizabeth, Laughmates,

Elizabeth> http://www.spamletters.com
Elizabeth> http://www.savannahsays.com/kizombe.htm

Elizabeth> Of course, my profession is humor writing, so I could
Elizabeth> justify devoting some time and effort to this "project."

I am so happy to see at least 2 people on the Internet who 'get it' /
can spot a business opportunity where the rest of the world irks
itself no end about the same thing. Having fun with spam as the owners
of the above sites are working towards is exactly what I was talking
about. [Some of the interaction on spamletters.com leans towards
profanity which (my prejudice) can be done without.]

While some business people are tearing their hair apart about 'wasting'
4 working days of the year on reading and deleting spam, if I were
plagued as much, I would have appointed someone like Elizabeth and
used the opportunity to bring upon a smile to everyone in the office
(perhaps, as Elizabeth mentioned - during coffee time) and eventually
released the back and forth replies as a book and thus made much more
money than the business would lose with 4 'otherwise wasted' days
deleting mail.

In fact money making opportunities exist in more ways than just by way
of a book. Two other ways that come to mind immediately:

1. A cartoon strip [I hinted about this with Calvin & Hobbes example,
   an ingenious creation by Bill Waterspoon, in my last mail] The
   strip need not be based on original interactions - so unlike the
   book, someone with a creative mind can immediately start working on


2. A TV show (People will recall Sienfeld - the show about nothing -
   and a laugh riot!)

   What with reality based shows in vogue today - you never know - we
   might see Elizabeth (in US) and Kizombe (in Africa) on the same TV
   show - on how they created a laugh riot with 'spam' - someday!

   Think a 30 minute show is risky? Heck, some channel could start a
   60 second 'How some people are having fun with spam/junk mail'
   fillers between shows!

What would I do with all the money that I make out of this? Why, find
a solution to eliminate spam - and make even more money!

Moral of story: If you have a sense of humor and a tinge of an
entrepreneurial mind, you can convert an irksome problem into a
money making opportunity.

Now, someone take this castle on air and put legs underneath it! :-)

Before I sign-off, I would like to clarify that I am not supporting
spam, spamming, chain letter scams or any such thing.

If you've been a target of a UCE/ chain e-mail scam, you could
write to your ISP and also forward the Unsolicited Commercial Email
to: uce@ftc.gov

- Amit.

Richer Than Bill Gates
The website about achieving personal & business ambition.

[Moderator's Comment - Amit the quote you were looking for...
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."
~ Henry David Thoreau

If you enjoy these quotes, you will probably enjoy my
Jest a Quote (or three). For a daily dose of quotes,
Send a blank mail to - quote-subscribe@topica.com
~ Gunjan]

Comments -

====> Spam

Hi Friends,

I don't believe we can really combat spam as yet. We
are probably better off dealing with it with humor which
is what we've been discussing in the last few weeks with
these posts by Amit, Elizabeth and the "I answered all
my spam" poem I'd reproduced for you in I-Laugh #42.

However if you decide you'd like to take up the fight, your
first step should probably be, to learn all about emails.

And in this regard I can't think of a better resource than the
Newbie Club's ebook - "Email for Newbies -
The Gobbledygook Explained".

If you've heard of the Newbie Club and would rather let
Joe Robson and Tom Glander tell you about the ebook...


If you'd rather know a lil more...Here's a quick run down of
the contents ... (It's actually 2 ebooks in one)

1.  "Translating The Techie Stuff" by Tom Glander
2. "How to Write Email Professionally & Courteously" by Joe

There are 16 Chapters, with answers to all the most commonly
asked questions we've received, such as ...

# What's a screen name? How do I set up a new email
address? What's that confusing window for? How do I ....?

# Web Based and Client Based Email - how do I read my email
when I'm away from my PC? What's an email account? Client
based email? - but I have no clients!

# Pop 3, SMTP, Account names, Protocols, Servers and other
gobbledygook that sends Newbies into orbit - and back onto
snail mail!

# Email Netiquette? - and what's an email stripper? - sounds a
bit seedy to me!

# SPAM - how to deal with it.  How can you spot it before you
open it? The magical sure-fire Spam killer. Can it ever be

# Bulk email - can it really make you a million bucks? Hmmm.

# Email Headers - no, it's not an Internet soccer game!

# Attachments. How do you send a wedding photo? I need to
forward a document but ... This simple technique continues to
be a mystery to many - yet it's so easy. But be extra careful,
or mayhem follows!

# Virus protection. So you think you're safe from those sickies
who flood the Internet with viruses - hell bent on crashing
your PC? Reading this is absolutely essential. And you'll learn
how to protect yourself for free!

# Think that writing emails in a professional manner only
applies to business emails? Then think again, because this
will shock you. Can others judge you by the way you write
your emails? And - wait for it - why some of the emails
you send may never even get read. Sheesh!

# Why so many emails suck! And *you* may be sending them.

# The Salutation, Subject line, intro, text that's impossible to
read, line breaks, signature ... Is there really so much to
writing professional emails? It sounds a lot, but it's not
difficult at all.

# The best and most effective way to deal with someone who
upsets you. Do it wrong and you're in deep water!

If you like the sound of it, why don't you check it out using
our affiliate link. You'd have done your bit to keep us laughing
this week in the process.


Hope you find it useful,

With best Wishes,

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak

Comments -

===> Speaking Tips

Here's the next article in the series of public speaking
tips from Tom Antion.

To Laugh or Not to Laugh That is the Question

Some humor "experts" say that you should not laugh at your
own jokes and stories. This may work for some, but it is definitely
not my style. When I'm in front of an audience, I'm having a
great time. I'm there because I love humor and laughter and I
love sharing it with the audience. I can't help laughing
sometimes. I laugh at what I say. I laugh at what they say. I
laugh at unexpected occurrences during the presentation. That's
my style. I believe that to fully connect with an audience, you
must be accepted as one of them. If I expect them to laugh,
then I should laugh too.

Sometimes you can laugh to tell the audience it's time to laugh.
Within a matter of minutes your stage persona will be evident to
the audience. As soon as they catch onto your style and rhythm,
they will pick up on the cues you give them. When you laugh they
know it is time for them to laugh. It's almost like holding up an
applause sign. Some presenters use facial expressions or gestures
or a combination of many cues that tell the audience it's OK to

The opposite of a laughter cue is a deadpan expression. This is a
serious expression that is contrasted with funny lines. The
contrast evokes a larger laugh than the line could get by itself.
I use this to set the audience up for some fun questions. I look
completely earnest when I say, I'm the foremost expert in the
world [pause] on dumb questions. It always gets a good laugh.

Tom Antion
Great Speaking

You can subscribe to his free newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below)


Comments or if have you a tip to share -

=====  New Discussions  =====

====> What Pops Up, Must....

Hi Friends,

Since we are already discussing one of the biggest
'curses' of the internet, I'd like to bring up another
topic which lot's of people consider another painful
curse of the internet. I'd love to hear your views on
Pop Up's, Pop Unders and other things which spring
at you unexpectedly and disturb your peaceful surfing.

Awaiting your comments...

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak

Comments -

===========  This week's Humor  ==========

From our Laughmate DC's The Morning Message :

A Bostonian dies and is sent to hell. He had been a horrible
man throughout life and even the devil wanted to punish him, so
he puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. To
make it worse he cranks up the temperature and the humidity.
"Love my kingdom!" laughs the devil.

After a couple of days the devil checks in on his victim to see if
he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as he looks at the
Bostonian happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune.
The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've
turned the heat way up, it's humid, you're crushing rocks; why are
you so happy?"

The Bostonian, smiling big, looks at the devil and replies, "This is
great! It reminds me of August in Boston. Hot, humid, a good place
to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the
Bostonian's remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature,
send down driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, hell is a wet,
muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing
into his eyes, the Bostonian is happily slogging through the mud
pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks. Again, the devil asks
how he can be happy in such conditions.

The Bostonian replies, "This is great! Just like April in Boston. It
reminds me of working out in the fields with spring planting!"

The devil is now completely baffled. Angry, and desperate to make
hell really hell, he tries one last ditch effort. He makes the temperature
plummet. Suddenly hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that
this will surely make the Bostonian unhappy, The devil checks in on
the Bostonian. He is aghast at what he sees.

The Bostonian is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer
as he cavorts in glee.

"How can you be so happy? Don't you know its 40 below zero!?"
screams the devil.

Jumping up and down the Bostonian throws a snowball at the devil
and yells:

"Hell's frozen over!! This means the Patriots won the Super Bowl!!"

(Moderator's Comment - If we find this guy, we'll make him

Comments :


I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh :

FAQ, Information & Archives at our website,

© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg

YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh
electronically free of charge, under the following

First: The author of the piece receives full credit,
with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact

Second: The following byline is included.
"This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh,
Your Working Humor Discussion List.
© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

However, if you are getting paid for your  publication
(it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to
contact us to arrange a payment  to us for the material
you are using.

A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..


I -Laugh

Info for Newbies
Submission Guidelines
Articles Index

Business Cartoons


Selling Humor

Professional Humor
Medical Humor
Educational Humor
Military Humor
Advertising Humor

If you've had enough 'Serious' Humor relax in our 'pun' zone -
Jest For Pun

About Us

Contact Us

Palez vous Francais? Pour les blagues et poèmes français, visitez notre BLOG


Check out WorkingHumor.com's new Facebook Page

Check out WorkingHumor.com's new Facebook Page

WorkingHumor.com now has a Facebook Page. It's still a baby, hasn't learnt how to dance yet
but maybe you're the one we're waiting for, to get the party started ;o!
Check it out here

Custom Search