Your Working Humor Discussion List
I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:email@example.com
Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
20th March 2002 # 051
Spend so much time improving yourself that you have
no time left to criticize others.
~ Christian D. Larson
IN THIS DIGEST :
Moderator's Comment -
~ from Tom Antion
No Laughing Matter
Last in Class ..... or am I?
HELPFUL HUMOR TIP
THIS WEEK'S HUMOR
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What a crazy week this has been. My inbox (Outlook Express)
got deleted, and after I had gone through the phases of anger,
denial, depression and acceptance, I suddenly realized that the
good part of this whole story was I didn't have any pending mails
to reply to and such had a load less work this week.
Of course you'll be seeing the effect of this in the issue so let me
not ramble any further. I'll get going with the issue in a second after
I've thanked Richard Parata of http://www.grans-remedies.co.nz
for sending in a note (in reply to our unsubscribe feedback mail)
saying that he wasn't leaving, just changing addresses.
It's great to have such considerate subscribers. In fact somebody,
(was it you Stephanie?) had sent me a great article on how
to be a good subscriber which I had just started practicing.
Unfortunately, its gone now or I'd have shared it with you.
Anyway what's gone is gone. What's here is I-Laugh # 51!
Hope you enjoy it...
coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak
P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
Please, send any comments to:
===> A Word from the Other Moderator
Looking for comments from Eva? Then you didn't pay
attention to her invitation to join her for a cruise for
That's where she was off to and so you can't catch
her comments this week. But a little bird tells me
that the meet went off really well.
So we can look forward to some great stories in the
next few weeks.
for Eva Rosenberg
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===== Continuing Discussions =====
===> Speaking Tips
USE ALL THE SENSES by Tom Antion
Audience members assimilate information in three different
ways. Some people hear the information, some see the
information, and some feel the information. Although most
individuals switch their emphasis frequently, one style
usually predominates for a given individual. The styles of
information transfer are called respectively auditory,
visual, and kinesthetic.
For you to connect with the most audience members, you
should include information throughout your program that
appeals to all three of these styles. People that are
primarily visual assimilators may be daydreaming throughout
the portions of your presentation where you are using only
words to convey your information. They will perk-up when you
use a visual aid such as an overhead, flip chart, or prop.
People that are kinesthetically oriented are looking for
those words that describe feelings and that evoke emotions.
They will also wake up and come to attention if you have
them come up on stage with you and you shake hands with them
or put your hand on their shoulder (not in Asia). Auditory
assimilators might just love to hear you talk or they might
like to hear a recording of JFK or some type of music.
When you plan your program so that auditory, kinesthetic,
and visual elements are interspersed throughout, this will
increase your chances of connecting with all the audience
members and decrease the chance that old Mr. Sandman will
come knocking on their heads.
You can subscribe to his free newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below)
Comments or if have you a tip to share -
===== New Discussions =====
===> No Laughing Matter
About a month back, I was sorry to read a post
from Mark in Frankelbiz which stated that he had just
started an affiliate program for his website, had just
signed 9 affiliates, and one of them sent out 27000
emails and within an hour of starting his affiliate
program Mark's website was closed down. This was
in spite of Mark not sending out any of the mails, or
the mails being sent from Mark's hosting service.
In fact the affiliate assured Mark that his mails too
were not spam but an opt-in list. In his post Mark
requested for suggestions on how to control affiliates
email campaigns and how to ensure that one's site
was not shut down.
After a discreet gap I had written to Mark (letting
the people who could be of help to Mark have
their say first :-) asking him to share whatever
knowledge he gained on the subject as it would be
of benefit to all other site owners too especially
anyone planning on launching an affiliate program.
Here is his reply.....
Thank you for contacting me earlier regarding "How to
safeguard my company against SPAM".
As you may remember my entire company was shut down
(01/23/2002) because an affiliate/reseller participated in an
opt-in email campaign that my hosting service claimed was
SPAM, so they shut down all my websites and email.
Sorry for the delay in getting back in touch. I just now got
back online with DomainBlaze.com.
The bottom line is, there is no easy solution to safeguarding
a business from the threat of SPAM. I spent two solid days
researching this issue, and there seems to be no 100% sure
proof defense mechanism... ... actually there's very little
So here's what I've decided to do...
1) I'm striving to have a good working relationship with my
hosting company by keeping them fully aware of the precautions
I'm taking to prevent SPAM (plus with their permission I
reprinted much of their Policies and Procedures regarding "SPAM"
and "Internet Conduct" within DomainBlaze.com's policies.).
2) The website has a "Report SPAM" email link highly visible at
the bottom of every web page (recording any violation including
the referring affiliate's ID code).
3) Every new member is asked if they were spammed (recording
any violation including the referring affiliate's ID code).
4) DomainBlaze.com has a strict no "Email Marketing Policy",
as well as, a no "SPAM policy": this will lead to lower sales,
less affiliate sign ups, and a slower growth of the business, but
it also keeps it from being shut down.
5) I wrote a software program that can distinguish if an incoming
visitor is linking from an email or a browser. With this
knowledge, I can identify which members are using email marketing
in violation of the policy: It only works in Internet Explore
5.0+, but that's good enough to get some stats as to who is
breaking the rules and who is not.
In the future, I plan on issuing waivers to the "No Email
Marketing" to allow affiliates/resellers that own and operate
their own newsletters to promote DomainBlaze.com via their
In closing, probably the best defense is communication with both
the hosting company and the affiliates/resellers, not to mention
a clear operating policy of eliminating ALL spammers and
terminating their affiliate/reseller commissions.
Let me know if I can be of further help.
May Your Business Always Prosper!
(Mark is now a Laughmate. Welcome Mark!
His domainblaze.com sounds like a very interesting
concept. I will get back to you with more about it
next week after another chat with Mark. ~ Gunjan)
Look at those SEXY-CALVES!
This space is for rent...
Talk of baaad luck
====> Last in Class .... or am I?
Last week Issue # 7 of the 'Make 2002 Great'
newsletter had a very interesting on testing of
ad banners ....
Featured Action Tip: Testing -- the key to marketing success.
We'll share some real banners we tested for three of our
products. Our goal is to show you that there is no way you can
know (or accurately guess) how the market will respond.
You have to test to find out.
We're illustrating the importance of testing using banners
(rather than headlines, offers, pricing, etc.) because banners
are easy to test and they show results fast.
The same results would occur with any medium we used.
The click thru rate for banners now averages about 0.25%.
That means that 25 people will click on a banner when it is
shown to 10,000 people. Not very good.
All of the banners we are showing you produced better than
average results. For each product, at least one banner has a
click thru rate of over 1% (four times average). Some banners
have much higher click thru rates.
We'd like you to look at the banners for each product, and
then select the one you think performed best -- and the one
you think performed worst. Write down your guesses.
To see the banners, go to:
Then, we'll share the results with you. Go visit the site now.
[I normally don't take so much trouble, but for a change
not only did I take a peek at the above URL, but I actually
wrote down my answers ~ Gunjan]
By now, you should have selected the three banners you think
worked best, and three banners you think performed most poorly
-- and written down the results.
Now, to see the results, go to:
It is interesting that the same text can work very well in one
banner, and poorly in another. Same with the graphics of a
banner: for one product it works, for another, it doesn't.
[Interesting? it was more than interesting.... it was a nightmare!
All three of my guesses as the worst or poorest banners had
got the best results. If I hadn't fared so poorly, I may not have
paid so much attention to the article or asked Audri for
permission to reproduce it for you ~ Gunjan]
Convinced? We hope this exercise illustrated clearly why you
simply have to test. You can't rely on your guesses -- or
you'll lose a lot of money.
[Don't know how you fared and whether you're convinced,
but I'm certainly convinced that if I'm ever paying for banner
advertising I'm jolly well not going to rely on my taste and
do a test~ Gunjan]
- Audri and Jim
Copyright 2002 WZ.com Inc. All rights reserved.
If you liked this article you may enjoy the Make 2002
Newsletter and the ebook ....
43 top business leaders reveal their most important
success principles in a new, wonderful ebook. Great advice
from stars like Ken Blanchard and Jay Abraham. FREE.
Click here -> http://make2002great.com/
Hope you find it helpful.... Also if you do the test don't
forget to share your results with me so I know whether
I was actually last in class! :-)
www.workinghumor.com - Let
your Humor Work for you !
===== Helpful Humorous Tip =====
Ignore Einstein at your own risk!
In the simplest of terms Einstein explains his theory
of relativity thus ...
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems
like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems
like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Last week I witnessed a little incident which reinforces
the importance of not forgetting this.
I had dropped in to visit a friend who is the boss of an
organization. As soon as I got there my friend told me
he was sorry but he wouldn't be able to spend any time
with me as he had an upset tummy and was therefore
Telling him not to worry about me, and that I would drop
in some other day I waved him on and started chatting with
his pretty secretary.
Just then another of his workers comes rushing, asking
where my friend (her boss) is. I told her that he had
just left as he had an upset tummy. However she was
in an obvious state of excitement just having negotiated
a great deal and just wasn't willing to listen my attempts
at calming her down.
"I'll run and catch him by the time he gets to the car park"
she said, "and I have such fantastic news and it'll just take
two minutes to tell him."
I tried to tell her that in the state that he was two minutes
is a long long time. But she was off and running before I
could complete my sentence.
Sure enough, she returned in a few minutes looking as if
her ear had been bitten off. I've never seen anyone being
taken to task in such a way for bringing great news but
then I guess it was her own fault....
In her excitement she had forgotten Einstein's theory of
Relativity and ignored that there's nothing more pressing
than Nature's Call.
When you gotta go .... you gotta ........ !!!!!
coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak
=========== This week's Humor ==========
A priest was driving along and saw a lady on the side of the road.
He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in
and crossed her legs, forcing her dress to open and reveal a
lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The lady looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.He forced
himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove
his eyes from her leg.
Further on while changing gears, he let his hand slide up her
leg again. Again the lady said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
And again the priest apologized, "Sorry madam, but the flesh
Arriving at the convent, the lady got out gave him a meaningful
glance and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible
and looked up psalm 129.
It said,"Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory."
MORAL - Always be well informed in your job or you might
just miss a great opportunity!
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