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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

27th March  2002    #     052
I'm sorry you are wiser, I sorry you are taller;
I liked you better foolish and I liked you better smaller.
~ Aline Murray Kilmer


Moderator's Comment -
                          ~ Gunjan

You've Got Your Troubles, I've Got Mine
                               ~ Gunjan

A unique sales call
                               ~ Dan Seidman

Asking for the Dough
                             ~ Eva Rosenberg

                             ~ Gunjan

Humor in Training
                             ~ Srivatsa Kadaba

Whistling Speeds
                            ~ Dr Santosh


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Moderator's Message

Dear LaughMates,

We launched I-Laugh on the 4th of April or to be
more precise launched it on All Fool's Day last year
and sent our first issue on 4th of April. So this Issue -
I-Laugh # 52, rounds up 1 year of I-Laugh.

To help round up, I've pulled out some of what I thought
were the most fun posts or exchanges during this year.

For recent subscribers this should be a glimpse into
the highlights and a maybe an incentive to check out
our archives (http://www.workinghumor.com/archives.shtml)
and for 'our dear oldies' it should be a little nostalgia trip.
Also it addition to the archives I would like to start a
little highlights section on the website. If any of you have
the time to help me choose the most interesting posts
through the year please let me know. I'll be most grateful
for any help I can get.

Next, any suggestions for ways to have a online Birthday
party for I-Laugh? And should the next issue be I-Laugh #53
or Vol. 2 Issue 1??

All those for I-Laugh # 53

All those for I-Laugh Vol. 2 Issue 1

All those who think this is silly and it doesn't really matter
what it's called ....

All those who think that people who click on the above link
are silly because names are extremely Important (and are
Thankful their Mama's didn't name them Yossarian)

All those who haven't clicked on any of the above links....
(Just ensuring that you don't feel left out !!)


Lastly, Eva had a great idea! (No, it's not the first one she's
had!) Having Guest Moderators to moderate a few issues.

I think it's a super idea. For those of you who are I-Salers,
you may seen the great fresh breaths of Ideas every Guest
Moderator has brought along with them. So if any of you would
like to try your hand at Moderating let's have a chat.

With no further ado, here's I-Laugh # 52!

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak


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====> You've Got Your Troubles, I've Got Mine {I-Laugh #1}


Let me tell you about one of the people I have very
high regards for. Dr Vasant Shetty is a pediatrician.

The first time I took my son to see him, my son (then
aged 5) was most reluctant to see any doctor. We
literally dragged him there. Once inside the clinic
before we were even seated my wife started to rattle
off about our son's cough, fever etc...

Dr Shetty sweetly interrupted her, without being rude.
He suggested that he'd like to find out for himself,
and turned to the little boy. Speaking to my son he
asked, "OK young man tell me all your troubles"

Not getting a reply, he added "and then I'll tell you mine"
Still not getting a reply, he went on ... "OK, I'll go
first. My trouble is that I want a lot of money,
but I don't want to work.. Now tell me your troubles...!"

I bet you can guess how fast my son opened out to him.
Soon they were chatting away like the best of friends.
They had a 'breathing contest' while Dr Shetty examined
him with the stethoscope. To this day.... since then, my
son, has never feared or refused to go the doctors (even
when he knows he'll be given a shot) and I must have
referred scores of patients to Dr Shetty. I think he's
a super doctor, not just because of what he learnt in
Medschool or Universities (though that must have helped
too :-). His sense of humor, relaxed style,
willingness to act like a child, with children...all
add to make him such a special doctor.

{Though as my son has grown older, I'm not in regular
touch with Dr Shetty I still recommend him highly.
Anybody from Bangalore, India... or visiting Bangalore
can get his contact numbers etc. from me}

Thank You,

Comments :

======> A unique sales call {I-Laugh #2}

>From Dan Seidman

She would not take my calls or return them. I could not
get an appointment with this CFO. She managed the
financial present and future of one of the largest hospitals
in Chicago and I had a great new service she would want.
I almost gave up after having been ignored for two months.

Then I remembered the coconut!

I dug into my guerrilla marketing file and found the brochure
from a Hawaiian company that mailed coconuts. They wrote
your message on them in black marker. I placed my order
and sent it off with the words, "You're a tough nut to crack."

A week later my phone rang and all I heard was laughter as I

"I'm sitting here at my desk and my secretary and I are dying
laughing," the CFO said. "When would you like to come in?"

It worked! An action that was totally unexpected, but perfectly
logical ("You're a tough nut to crack.") had gotten me in.

Dan Seidman
Dan Seidman, the War Correspondent of Selling
Sales Horror Story Library, read 'em and weep (or laugh)

Comments :

===> Asking for the Dough {I-Laugh #3}

Two of the things I've consistently had a problem with
are asking for money and asking for what I'm worth.

In working for other tax offices, I've noticed that
they spend a great deal of time on accounts receivable -
invoicing, sending out statements, trying to collect.
And they often average 60 - 120 days on some of the

Being a small office, I knew I couldn't afford that.
So, I had to devise a way to a) Charge enough - and
b) collect payment on the spot. And...c) convince
'friends' that I expected to get paid for the work.

Although I rarely need to use this anymore...this
helped me break the ice - people understand this

My sessions with my tax clients often also include
deeply personal and emotional issues and counseling.

I started to tell my clients, as we finished up the
work - "Well, my friend, are you feeling satisfied
now? Have I made you feel good?"

Of course, the answer was always an enthusiastic, "Yes!"

"Well, then, like any good whore, I'd like to get
paid now, not later." And, naturally, this was so
unexpected, it would have them laughing the whole
time they wrote the check.

And if they asked me, "How much?" I would tell them,
"This is what I would charge you, but if you
want to pay me more, tips are most welcome."
Quite often, they'd just add an extra $50 or $100,
still laughing.

Eva Rosenberg.

Comments :
Cartoon Break

Ain't it obvious?

Computer problems

Note The Difference!


====> Reference {I-Laugh #6}

Dear Friends,

Back in the 1980's I was working as
a Medical Representative marketing IV fluids.
On one of my late evening sales calls, as I was
waiting for Dr X. He was called away on an emergency.
Though quite a few other company representatives chose
not to wait, a few of us waited. Doctor was away for a long,
long time, and by the time he finished with the other reps,
it was well past 9 PM.

As I entered his chamber, (I was the last visitor) I could
instantly see that Doc was absolutely pooped and in no shape
 to give me a patient hearing. So instead of starting on my sales
pitch, I told him that I'd come and see him another day and
wished him Good Night and started backing out. He couldn't
believe his eyes. He asked if I knew what I was doing, I
had waited for 3 hours to see him and was now leaving without
talking to him. I immediately explained that he looked visibly
tired and so I didn't want to trouble him any further.

He was most impressed, called me the most sensitive salesman
he had met and gave me an early appointment.

On the day of the next appointment, I had made one small change
to my sales materials. Under the benefits of dealing with our
company I had added a line saying we had the best and most
sensitive sales representatives. In common Medical Book or
Medical Sales Material style this line had a reference and under
reference I mentioned Dr X's name.

You should have seen Dr X's reaction when he first read that line,
then followed the reference number and found his name there. He
must have laughed for at least ten minutes.

Any guesses whether I got the order? :-)

ex-wizard at selling! Now...
WZ-ard of Humorous Poetry

Comments :

====> Humor in Training! {I-Laugh #09}


This is in response to Scott Simmerman's post
in I-Laugh #05

> Anyone out there doing anything similar? Any good
> stories or punchlines/quotes that we could add?

I had the honor of attending one of Mr. Srivatsa Kadaba's
sessions on change management. He had an absolutely
fantastic story (At least I think so :-)

He was discussing Working in Teams. He started with a
couple of questions. His first question - "If you're
working with a team, how hard should you work? How
much effort should you put?"

The most common reply was that everyone should definitely
put in 100%. (The exceptions were a couple of smart alecs,
yes, me included, who had Yogi Berra answers - Give 95%
in the first half and the other 50% in the second half)

Srivatsa didn't comment on the answers as to whether
he felt the answers were correct or wrong and moved on. He
asked us if we knew what a bullock cart is. (It is a goods
vehicle in India, normally  drawn by 2 bulls or oxen.)
He then wanted us to imagine that a particular bullock
cart has 1 young and strong bull capable of pulling the
cart at around 15 mph. The other is a very old and sick
bull who under any circumstances cannot move above mph.

He then asked at what speed would that cart move.
A huge number of people tried to work out the
average and gave answers between 6-9 mph. Having
enjoyed riddles and trick questions for a long time
and being a keen listener I knew the answer to that
one mph (notice the 'under any circumstances').

 Now in the above scenario just imagine the frustration
of the young bull if he puts in 100% effort. He would
 go raving mad. The only way he could be happy in this
 case scenario is if he relaxed, whistled a tune to
 himself and took things very very easy.

 A neat example to prove a great point! Without the
example if he'd have told me how much effort you
should put in depends on the circumstances, I'd
have thought he was nuts.

 Hope this is helpful.
http://www.workinghumor.com - Let your Humor Work for you!

Comments :

====>  Whistling  Speeds {I-Laugh #10}

>From Dr Santosh <santosh99@netscape.net>

Hi  buddy,

About the question of how hard should a member of
a team work:

If you ask me, I think the answer to the question
of the speed of the bullock-cart would be zero.

It seems to me from the little physics  that I know,
that  if one wheel (in a two-wheeled cart) goes faster
than the other, the cart would travel in a circle! If
speed is the rate of change of position, and if you
were to measure distance traveled from the center of
the circle, the average distance moved would be zero
(the largest distance traveled from the center would
be the length of the radius, say +r;  and at the
other extreme you would have -r).

Of-course I agree about the whistling at work!

I also urge you to discover the principles of basic
game theory which argues that the (benefits from the)
role one plays depends on what others are doing.

In conclusion, if  you were to put in 100% and other
members  put in only, say 10%, would you really KEEP
whistling? Maybe you would. But for how long? A
whole day? A week? A year? A lifetime? If you
assume the benefits of teamwork is shared by its
members, the whistling will not (cannot, according
to game theory) work. This is because the "strategy"
of whistling is open to exploitation.

The system is open to evolutionary invasion. People
who put in less and gain more per unit of investment
(relative to the whistler) will stand to gain more
than the whistler. The whistler is an evolutionary
loser. if you gain relatively less per unit of investment,
you cannot be a winner. But you can be a Saint!
 Now I'm getting into Richard Dawkin's
"The Extended Phenotype" so I better quit.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is
indistinguishable from magic ~ Arthur C. Clarke

Moderator's comment - Thanks for the insight on
speed  of the cart. Hadn't thought of that.

However as far as the whistler being a loser part
is concerned ... the whole idea of the whistler
whistling in that example was that he doesn't put
in more than his share and is therefore not exploited.
Of course, the side effect of this working at just
10% or 30% of your capability to avoid being
exploited will also sooner or later make you stop
whistling as you point out.

So I'd suggest that the young bull in the example
shouldn't work with old bull indefinitely. But
while he's working out strategies on whether he
should change carts, or wring the old bulls neck,
he would survive even better, if he could  whistle
and not let stress kill him. Right? Am I getting
into  Richard Dawkin's "The Selfish Gene" territory? :-)
~ Gunjan

Comments :

Cartoon Break

A Little Riddle.

Feelings you have about your computer...

Evolution of the Sexes!

Oops! We've just skimmed through Issues 1 to 10
and already we're overweight! We'll have to continue
reminiscing later. (We could have one issue a month
for these highlights for the next 4 months if you like the
idea or we could send it out as extras over and above
the regular issues. Please let me know your preference.

In the meanwhile if you would like to re-open any
of these Topics for discussion you're most welcome.
Now let me stop chattering and let you enjoy your
Humor for the week section in peace.
~ Gunjan

Comments :

===========  This week's Humor  ==========

A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her
doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions,
about symptoms, how long had they been occurring,
etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet -
*I* don't need to ask my patients these kind of
questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking."
She smugly added, "Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down,
quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and
said, "There you are. Of course, if *that* doesn't work,
we'll have to have you put to sleep."

Comments :


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