I-Laugh Archives
Your Working Humor Discussion List

.........................................
I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
---------------------------------------------
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10th July  2002    #     Issue 67
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In selling as in medicine, prescription before diagnosis is malpractice.
~ Tony Alesandra
(American Businessman,  Author, Speaker)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                               ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                             ~ Eva
_____________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

MLM Not So bad...
                             ~  Willem Schulting

MLM Not so good (Sometimes) !
                            ~  Eva Rosenberg

MLM Doubts ....
                             ~ Gunjan

Sincerely Humorous
                             ~ Tom Trottier

Speaking Tips
                                ~ from Tom Antion

NEW DISCUSSIONS

King for a Night
                               ~ Gunjan

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

----------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------

"NEED INK?... It's NO 'Laughing' matter when ya run out!"
Worse yet, Paying RETAIL prices! SAVE Up TO 80%!....

High Quality Ink Jet Cartridges, Refill  Kits and JetPak
pre-paid Mailers... Satisfaction IS Guaranteed!
FREE Printer Utilities! Come Save Now!
http://www.MaxPatchInk.com?laugh

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

Moderator's Message
-------------------------------------------------

Hi LaughMates,

With my computer giving a lot of trouble this week,
(you can find out about some of it in the King for a
Night post) I've had the chance to do quite some reading.
I've come against some pretty provocative statements
which I feel may be pretty hot for discussion. On first
thoughts, I thought I'd write in my thoughts about them. On
second thoughts let me share them with you first and then
let's discuss what we think of them. Better idea?

First from an essay by George Meredith titled 'On the idea
of comedy and of the uses of the comic spirit' ....

'Genuine humour and true wit .... require a sound and capacious
mind, which is always a grave one.  ..... Few men have been
graver than Pascal. Few men have been wittier.'

Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Grawitty

 >From an ebook on humor (from which I'd printed out a few
sections).  I'll give you it's details next week.

'By "thinking" we largely mean "language use." We do not
catch nonverbal, atomistic ideas inside of ourselves which we
then put into words. We do not know what thinking would be
like if we never learned a language. It is too late for us to find
out, because we do have a language. We are already poisoned
by it.'

Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=LanguageandThinking

[This one, I started discussing with my friend Sunil. He took me
to task and wanted to give me a demonstration of visualisation or
non-language use thinking by using "Wing-Chung" (the latest
latest in Martial Arts) on me. I'm ducking out of sight, trying to
stay well away from Sunil at the moment. Hope you enjoy
yourself with I-Laugh #67!

With Best Wishes,
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in jest.

Subscribe to
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P

P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com


Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments

----------
The Other Moderator's Comment
----------

Good morning, LaughMates

Poor Gunjan, sounds like he's having a rough week.
Awww, hope it gets better.

Yesterday, I got a call from a university professor who'd just received
his PhotoMasterpiece. (Hmmmm...that's the third university order
in a month...wonder how they're suddenly finding us? Anyway....)
He'd sent us a yearbook with pictures of athletes and wanted us to crop
one of the women and turn that shot into an oil painting for a special gift
at an awards banquet.  We needed to do a little customizing, but WOW!
He called, all excited, happy and gushing...and wanted to tell everyone
he knew...and to add us to his rolodex and hand out our cards and flyers,
and...

Uh http://www.photomasterpieces.com is strictly Internet-based. We
don't have business cards. We don't have any print ads. We don't have...
(OK, we did once. But that was before we changed suppliers.)  So, here
I am this morning, scrambling to put together something to mail him right
away and...

Where is that spam I get 10 times a day, when I need it? You know, that
Something?Print with the free business cards? Come on, now! I know, if
I just download my mail one more time, it's bound to appear....Noooo!

So, I do a search in Google. Imagine my shock when I find that the number
5 largest source of spam I get, VistaPrint, is a LYCOS merchant. Huh?
Don't they know their affiliates are spamming everyone in the world?

Regardless, I do want some quickie cards. I don't want those shoddy,
print-it-at-home stuff. Free is good. So, I try to join their affiliate
program,
knowing that 'free' always has hidden costs. And, while they don't clearly
state who their program is with, it looks just like that really annoying
application I used to try to join Barnes and Noble - you know, the one that
rejected me about 8 times and made me re-enter the info each and every
time! Not being willing to go through that nonsense again,   I did some
searching through the biggie providers and found them at BeFree.
(If you don't join their members' programs from within reporting.net,
BeFree's application is the worst of any I've seen, anywhere!)

Ah! Here's their acceptance (at 5: 45 am) pretty fast.  With my new
affiliate URL.
http://service.bfast.com/bfast/click?bfmid=26298982&siteid=39800403&bfpage=4
68x60_free_shaking_"

Actually, their 'free' options are much more appealing than iPrint's
paid options. OOOOOoooohhhh! I've got it now. I knew there was a
catch! The free VistaPrint cards include an VistaPrint ad on the back!

They don't explain that where I could see it. I only learned that because
I looked at their paid options, which say "No VistaPrint advertising on
backside."  Now, THAT's funny!

Wish me luck!

Your Comic Guide

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com     -  and please visit TaxMama's Boutique:
http://www.cafepress.com/cp/store/store.aspx?storeid=taxmama

---------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------
Internet solutions customized precisely to your
needs so you sell more, work smarter, grow faster.
                        > design | multimedia | eCommerce | database <
                        >  >  hosting | CRM | marketing | promotion   < <
Contact us today for a free strategic consultation.
mailto:info@ikestrel.com    http://www.ikestrel.com

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

=====  Continuing Discussions  =====

====> MLM Not so bad...

Tom said in issue #66 -
 >The problem with MLM is that it's based on your taking advantage of
 > your (soon-to-be-ex) friends to make you rich, and worse, convincing
 > them to do the same.

Quite frankly, Tom, this is nonsense. You could only come to this
conclusion if you have only had contact with bad MLM people.
There are many, very many, ethical people in the network marketing
business who would never and who do never abuse their friends. They
just simply and quietly go on building their businesses by looking after
people. MLM, or network marketing, is a people business, and if you
try to work that by abusing relationships you will have no long term
success. You can only succeed by building good, healthy
relationships.

There are, of course many who have abused friendships and family
relationships. That is where MLM gets its bad name from. The irony
is that they are not the successful ones, and the successful ones, the
ones who do not abuse relationships, are the ones who have to wear
the criticism.

MLM is a fine business model. There are ratbags in it, charlatans too.
But that is true of any business model.

Willem
Websites that work! Clarity! Simplicity! Speed!
www.willemzz.com

Comments
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=MLM

====> MLM Not so good (Sometimes) !

Sure, many MLM marketers are obnoxious. But, I believe
that when you really have a good product or service, one that
people can use and save themselves time and money, you don't
need to be pushy, annoying or obnoxious. It sells itself. And, with
MLM or affiliate programs those who like it are able to make
money when they tell others about it, too. Believe me, the people
who really are the most successful in MLM are not beating their
friends over the head. Those are the ones who fail.

OK, I've got to tell you about one bad experience.
One day, I got a call from someone I hadn't heard from in over
three years. She was someone I'd met networking whom I'd
managed to get included on a most prestigious board of directors.
And I'd helped her build her own network of women executives.
She hadn't called me since I'd left the board.

So, here she is, on the phone, all enthusiastic about getting together
with me and my husband for dinner. But, before she hung up, she
hit me with a pitch about a water purification system. I thanked her
and turned her down. Aaaah, but she had a manual with all the
answers to customers' objections. So, no matter what I said,
she had a peppy reply.

She wasn't persuading me. She was just annoying me. Finally,
I stopped being polite and told her, "Look, I was delighted to
hear your voice. Getting together sounded like fun. But, if the
only reason you called me after all these years was to sell me
something I've already told you I don't want or need - please,
let's just forget that dinner."

Ironically, about a year later, I got a letter, with a hefty check,
from her husband, a professor at the local university, CSUN. It
seems, for some bizarre reason, he had  accidently received my
tax refund check from the State of California. And he was mailing
it on, since the address was on the check.  (All right, I wrote them
a really nice letter and sent them some gift certificates to the
Outback Steak House. Gee, I hope they weren't vegetarians!)

Life is odd, sometimes.

Eva

Comments
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=MLM

=== > MLM Doubts

I thought Tom's comments were hilarious. Since he was obviously
using the comic technique of exaggeration, naturally they were
exaggerated too. That's what I felt when I read his comments. But
then on reflection I was wondering about a few things.

My best friends (offline) are in very different fields. One is the
principal of a school, another a mechanic, a third is the director
of a MM (not MLM - Multimedia) Company and so on. When
I meet up with any of them it's real fun finding out what's
happening at their work front and telling them what's happening
on mine. Now if I got into MLM, even if decided that I didn't
want to enrol them at all, I wonder how many times they'd feel I
was trying to enrol them whenever I mentioned a success story
or a product in my chats with them.

How many of you, my online friends, felt that I brought up this
topic of MLM only to try and push Tom Antion's Product?
Come on ... raise you hands!

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Justtosell

Imagine having to stop chatting about your work front with your
closest friends for fear of being misundestood. Sounds crazy, doesn't
it?

Another thing. If I consciously avoided recruiting them by not even
mentioning the products I felt were amazing, and both me and my
chain started doing great, wouldn't they feel it was bad of me not to
even let them know? I can picture atleast 2 of them saying ....
"You could have just told us about it, you needn't have sold it to us,
just tell us and leave the decision to us."

Thinking about this I'm glad I've told you Tom's product. I'll add
some of it's features because of which I feel it should be a winner....

1) As we've seen from Tom's free tips, Tom is a very humorous guy
but is very serious about the funny stuff being good ... and useful.
Since we're familiar with Tom we don't just need to go by someone
else's word that he is good. As such the chance that his product would
be junk is very much reduced.

2) When you try a pitch humorously, if it flops it can be laughed away.
No better way of selling to friends.

3) Tom Antion has a Full Year's Risk Free Trial.

4) Since the product is about improving marketing skills it improves
the chances of people in your downline being successful.

So, if by next year you hear that your friend Gunjan has made a
few billion dollars and is off on carribean cruises, remember, he
did mention it to you too! ;-)

To buy Tom's Product
http://www.antion.com/t.cgi/194698/mlm.htm

To sign up for Tom's affiliate program
http://www.antion.com/t.cgi/194698/associates/assoc_program.htm

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=MLM

---------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------
Explode your subscriber list, collect hundreds of opt-in
subscribers for your e-zine, try us for a month and get
100 FREE, subscribers for a limited time only. Don't delay
your competitors are doing it, and you should too!
<a href=" http://www.opt_in_magnet.com ">Learn More </a>

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

=== > Sincerely Humorous

My definition of humour is that it flips or exaggerates. That
honker I'd imagine running out of battery juice, causing an ironic
stop.

So the most humourous stuff is when the most miserable stuff is
somehow flipped upside-down, and the contrast appeals, e.g.,
the gent in the top hat slipping on the banana peel and getting his
comeuppance.

People don't usually enjoy whining, but if you can imagine an
unexpected good effect, then it can be very humourous. -- and
personal.

Tom

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Sincerelyhumorous


=== > Speaking Tips

(This week a marketing tip by Tom instead of a Public Speaking
one!)

BE A LITTLE PHONY ON THE PHONE
by Tom Antion

"Wow! Your phone message is just too happy!" "You've got way too
much energy." "How do you stay so upbeat?" These are just some
of the comments I get about my voice mail message and my
technique for answering the phone. Many times I answer personally
and the person on the other end of the line starts to leave a
message. They think I'm the voice mail. Hahaha I tell them I
answer that way so if I don't like them I can say "beep" and
hang up.

You can't catch me answering the phone poorly. If I feel bad, I
still answer the phone in an upbeat manner which sometimes knocks
me out of my bad mood. If I feel so bad that I just can't rise to
the occasion, then I DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE. It's all part of
walking your talk, or I guess in this case you would call it
"talking your talk." If I profess to be able to create excitement
in the client's organization and I can't even do it in my own,
I've lost a considerable amount of credibility. My interns aren't
even allowed to answer the phone until they can absolutely prove
that they won't hurt my reputation of being upbeat and exciting.

Listen to your own voice mail message. Is it as enthusiastic as
it could be? Does it convey the personality you are selling to
the client? How about the way you answer the phone? Would you be
proud if I called you and critiqued your technique?

You can sell a ton of products and services just because of the
way you act on the telephone. Be a little phony if you're not
feeling great, but push yourself toward enthusiasm. Potential
clients don't want to hire a dud.

from Tom Antion's
Great Speaking

You can subscribe to Tom's free newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below)

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cartoon Break

HELP
http://jokeworm.com/CToons/Cl56.shtml

For Sale
http://jokeworm.com/CToons/Cl59.shtml

Early Inventions
http://jokeworm.com/CToons/cl79.shtml

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=====  New Discussions  =====

====> King for a Night

The last few days my computer has been plagued by a virus
(Don't worry this mail is clean as a whistle, not only have
I just reformatted my hard disk to clear the virus and any
affiliates it may have signed up but any mail from me to you
also goes through a rigorous test at the hands of my list host.)

This has got me reflecting on what the motivation is for people
to create viruses and after some floundering I remembered
the movie 'King of Comedy' with Jerry Lewis and Robert the Niro.

The movie had De Niro playing Rupert Pupkin (often misspelt and
mispronounced), a stuggling stand up comic and Jerry Lewis playing
himself. Rupert struggles along for a break and then when things
don't seem too bright, finally kidnaps Jerry. His ransom demand
for releasing Jerry is do Jerry's show for him and he starts the show
with the lines ... "I'm sorry Jerry is not here with us.... he was a bit
tied up .... In fact I was the one who tied him up." After a hilarious
monologue he completes the show owning up what he's done and
giving the justification for doing it as - "I'd rather be king for a night
than schmuck for a lifetime!" He serves a short sentence for his act
but by the time he is released he is the talk of the town, with book
contracts, shows booked in advance, etc.

I remember reading someting back about the sentence given to
the guy who created the Mellissa virus. I was astonished. It was
so light. And the publicity he got was SO much. His fine must have
been about 1/1000 of what his PR bill would have been to get that
much publicity if he had been legitimate. I bet he'll get fantastic job
the day he's out. And most probably by one of the anti virus
manufacturers.

No wonder so many misguided people are trying to be 'kings'
overnight! It's high time we stopped treated them as 'kings' and
made them realise what 'schmucks' they are !!

Gunjan
The bugged guy!

Comments
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=King for a Night

===========  This week's Humor  ==========

Team Spirit

At one point during a soccer game, the coach called one of his
7-year-old players aside and asked, "Do you understand what
cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose
together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called,
you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head.
Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy
gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach
'a dumb idiot is it?''

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to
your mother."

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh :
http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml

FAQ, Information & Archives at our website,
http://workinghumor.com

Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg

YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh
electronically free of charge, under the following
conditions:

First: The author of the piece receives full credit,
with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact

Second: The following byline is included.
"This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh,
Your Working Humor Discussion List.
http://www.workinghumor.com
Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

However, if you are getting paid for your  publication
(it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to
contact us to arrange a payment  to us for the material
you are using.

A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..

Home

I -Laugh

Info for Newbies
Submission Guidelines
Archives
Articles Index
Advertise


Business Cartoons

Resources

Selling Humor

Professional Humor
Medical Humor
Educational Humor
Military Humor
Advertising Humor

If you've had enough 'Serious' Humor relax in our 'pun' zone -
Jest For Pun

About Us

Contact Us



If you had learnt French and its getting rusty
you're in the same boat as us.
Join us as we share jokes, funny poems etc
(along with help files) and row hard ;!
Facebook Page
Blog


Check out WorkingHumor.com's new Facebook Page


Check out WorkingHumor.com's new Facebook Page



WorkingHumor.com now has a Facebook Page. It's still a baby, hasn't learnt how to dance yet
but maybe you're the one we're waiting for, to get the party started ;o!
Check it out here

Custom Search