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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

14th August  2002    #     Issue 72
"Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquires
an account the florist had."
~ Francis Rodman


Moderator's Comment -
                                    ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                  ~ Eva


                                    ~ Scott Simmerman

Speaker Marketing Tip
                                     ~ from Tom Antion


Do you ever lose it?
                                        ~ Eva

I lost it ! (recently)
                                        ~ Gunjan

The colors can be misleading !!
                                       ~ Gunjan


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Moderator's Message

Hi LaughMates,

A couple of week's back I had mentioned that I'd had
an extremely embarrassing moment. Since our discussions
turned to other topics, it had just started to fade from my
mind, but was brought sharply back by Eva's Post.

Her post, in turn, was triggered off by a post of mine for
I-Helpdesk (i-helpdesk-join-request@list.adventive.com).

While we're busy with our trigger happy ways, you
have fun with I-Laugh #72 ! (And if it triggers any fun
thoughts don't forget to share them with us)

With Best Wishes,
Many a true word is spoken in jest.

Subscribe to
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

I want to pose a little quiz to you. Your answers will remain private,
because the quiz will be graded by you. Let's call it the Mensch Quiz.

These issues have come up several times recently and I'm just
curious about how you'd handle them. Or, your own reactions
might just surprise you.

1. After eating at a restaurant, you get the bill. The server has
made a mistake and left off one or two items. Do you:

         a. Call the person over and ask them to correct it?

         b. Leave an extra large tip to cover the error?

         c. Pay the tab and leave quietly, feeling lucky?

2. Someone performs a service for you (consulting, webdesign, etc.)
and weeks go by. They don't send you a bill. Do you:

         a. Call them up (or e-mail) and remind them to send you a bill?

         b. Send them money, computing what you owe them yourself?

         c. Hope they'll forget and you never have to pay them?

3. Someone wants to partner with you on a project. You have the
contacts to get customers. But they will be doing the large amount
of work to get the job done. They offer to split the revenues 50-50.
Do you:

         a. Point out that this isn't fair, since they'll be incurring much
         higher costs, and change the split to 75 - 25 - in their favor?

         b. Accept, but take on some of the work yourself to reduce
         the burden?

         c. Accept and rub your hands gleefully, because you're so clever?

4. Someone performs a service for you and gives you a ridiculously
low bill. Do you:

         a. Call them and tell them to send you a new invoice with a
         sensible amount that reflects the value of their work?

         b. Just send them a check for the higher amount you think it's

         c. Pay it and rejoice that you found such a ninny?

Now, grade this privately. This is how the points work. Give yourself 5
points for every (a); 10 points for every (b); 15 point for every (c).


20 - You're an ethical person and you like to make sure you
get credit for everything you do.  Or, you are ethical with a sense
of humor and like to call people over, who expect to get chastised,
only to be generous and watch them laugh with relief.

40 - You're ethical and generous. You deal with people gracefully
and make sure never to show them up. You practice the golden
rule quietly and anonymously.

60 - You're rich. You're very proud of your shrewdness. You may not
have a lot of real friends. But you are surrounded with lots of hangers
on and freeloaders, so at least you feel popular.

© Eva Rosenberg 08/13/02

So, how did you do?  Suffice it say, I'm not getting rich.

Your Comic Guide

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com  - 4 Secrets to Happy Tax Returns

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=====  Continuing Discussions  =====

=== > Participation

(Scott's message was received in time but not included
in the last week's issue as last week's issue had a theme.
Here it is now ! ~ Gunjan )

Okay you guys,  Occasionally I simply lurk in the background
and soak up all sorts of good stuff but, a direct challenge to
re-participate. Okay, I will keep this go-round simple with
two pieces that I think work pretty well.

They're on Square Wheels, which seem to be everywhere these days:

"Here is Edward Bear, coming down stairs now, bump, bump, bump,
on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he
knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels
that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a
minute and think of it."

and then there is:

Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.  Then,
one day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead
mastodon to the food and fire area. It was exhausting work; the guys
were getting tired just watching it.

Then, they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they
had a great idea!  They could sit on top of the boulders and get a
better view of their wives working.

This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to
television...  and later to the remote control.
(Dave Barry)

Hope that helps. Keep up the good stuff,


For the FUN of It!

Scott Simmerman - "The Square Wheels Guy"

  - Tools for Training and Development <http://www.squarewheels.com/>
     User rated as the Number One Training Website for over a year!

(Moderator's Comment - So that's what I need to do improve
participation, direct calls ! ... ok, this week we call on
The Humor Doctor and The Stress Doctor !)

Comments or if have you a tip to share -

=== > Speaker Marketing Tip

from Tom Antion's Great Speaking Newsletter

You can subscribe FREE to Tom's newsletter 'Great Speaking'
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=====  New Discussions  =====

===> Do you ever just Lose it?

Some things are really hard to learn.  And when you finally get
that spark of inspiration and it all falls into place, you're so
proud of yourself.

Well, something Gunjan wrote to me earlier reminded me of this
incident from the 7th grade.

Although I had gone to Jewish schools since nursery, it wasn't
until moving to Los Angeles that I had to do my studies in Hebrew.
(My classes had all been in Yiddish before that.)

So, starting in the fourth grade, I was at least 5 years behind all
the other students, when it came to speaking and writing
conversational Hebrew. So, for the longest time, I just tuned
out. (I have always hated being inadequate. Have you figured
that out yet?)

But finally, in the 6th grade,  I decided to make a real stab
at catching up. And a year later, I wrote my first really good
essay in Hebrew.

I was so proud of finally 'getting it.'

Until my teacher called me aside after class and asked me
why I'd submitted this garbage? You can imagine how hurt
I was by her insult.

It seems, sure, it had flowed. But, looking at the paper, I was
totally bewildered. Mortified, even. The words made no sense.

Until I started to read them out loud.

I had, somehow, written the whole essay  in perfect French,
using Hebrew letters.
(To this day, I have no idea how that happened.)

Don't worry. It all worked out fine in the end. The teacher and I
had such a good laugh once she heard me start reading out loud.
And she did give me a chance to translate it back into Hebrew.

Have you ever done anything that you couldn't account for?



Turning Dreams into Dollars...

An ebook in which you won't find the get-rich-quick
garbage or motivational fluff that sounds good but never
works. Not too surprising, since the editors of
Internet ScamBusters are publishing it."


====> I lost it ! (Recently)

Hi LaughMates,

Let's see how this comes out as a one act play ....

Dramatis Personae

YT - Yours Truly, (Gunjan) - The poor guy who got stumped.
OM - An elderly gentleman, who normally prides himself
           on being extremely young in attitude as well as fitness.
YL - A young lady, who I thought stayed miles away from
          naughty humor.
Onlookers - (About 5 of them of mixed ages. Fortunately
                      no students)


In the waiting room outside the Principal's Office of a reputed school.

The Act

OM - Ah you people. You make fun of an old man. An old man
           with one foot in the grave.
YT -   (Itching to comment but YL beats him to it)
YL -  What's wrong with you today, OM. Normally all the time
           you keep telling us you're such a young man! (As she says
           'such a young man' she makes a naughty gesture with her
           middle finger, but its done subtly, disguised by swinging
           hands so that only the most observant would catch the
           naughty gesture.
YT -   Did you say 'such a young man' (Repeats gesture without
           any subtlety)
YL -   (Turns away and starts doing something else as if YT hasn't
           addressed her at all)
Onlookers - (Glare at YT for such a crude gesture and then start
YT -   (Curses his observation powers and keenly searches for a
             little hole in the ground, but can't find any)

                    ~~~~~~~ The End (Thank God !) ~~~~~~~

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak


Cartoon Break


Chinese Dish

Tech Support


====> The colors can be misleading !!

Hi LaughMates,

Have you heard of the Murphy's Law which says -
"When all else fails, read the instructions!"
Isn't it awfully true with most of us. Don't we try to
run, repair, raise things by instinct without bothering
with the instructions.

Well, if you read The InkNews from MaxPatchInk.com
(in case you're forgotten Phil and Clara, the bosses of
MaxPatchInk are die hard LaughMates and our sponsors
too) this is the absolutely wrong thing while trying to
refill HP color cartridges.

The company to discourage cartridge refilling has done
a smart thing. It has wrong color blocks marked on their
cartridges. So in case you do some refilling just following
those blocks instead of reading Phil and Clara's instructions
you may land up with burgundy when trying to print blue
or mustard while trying to print magenta.

[To subscribe to The InkNews follow this link...
Do remember to check out their products and
don't hesitate to contact them if you have the slightest
doubt. Phil and Clara are great people to work with.]

I'm sure lots of people (especially those who didn't read
the instructions) may feel that it's wrong of HP to do
something like this. Personally, I think it's very smart....
I'd go to the extent of saying brilliant and AMUSING!

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak


===========  This week's Humor  ==========

Just one more about attitudes ....

The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with
whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation
that arose in his life - whether positive or negative - and remarking,
"This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The
friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had
apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after
taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown
off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"

To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to
send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have
known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their
village.  They tied him up, stacked some wood, set up a stake and
bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood,
one of the cannibals noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being
superstitious, the members of this tribe never ate anyone who was
less than whole. So they untied the king and sent him on his way.

As the king returned home, he was reminded of the event that had
taken his thumb, and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He
went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.

"You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off."
And he proceeded to tell his friend all that had happened. "I am very
sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."

"No," his friend replied, "this is good!"

"What do you mean, 'This is good'?" the king asked.  "How could it be
good that I have sent you, my friend, to jail for a year?"

The man smiled. "If I had not been in jail, I would have been hunting
with you."

(From Laughmate DC's - The Morning Message)

Comments :


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