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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

21st August  2002    #     Issue 73
The reason I dread writing letters is because I am so apt to get to
slinging wisdom & forget to let up. Thus much precious time is lost.
~ Mark Twain


Moderator's Comment -
                                     ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                   ~ Eva


Various Incomes
                                     ~ Amit Mallik

Speaker Marketing Tip
                                      ~ from Tom Antion


Should one write flaming letters?
                                         ~ Gunjan

What should you do with your flaming letters?
                                         ~ Gunjan

Answering Flaming Letters!
                                        ~ Gunjan


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Moderator's Message

Hi LaughMates,

A few weeks back I got a flaming hot mail which read ...

Try fitting yourself in the trashcan....along with this email.  I'm pretty
pissed at being re-directed to your web site.....  Try picturing what
anatomical suggestions I have for you!

After fuming for sometime I finally sent a reply ...

I did! It's a perfect fit!! Thanks for the idea. But I got bored of
reading the same email over and over again. Picturing the anatomical
suggestions kept me entertained for sometime but at length that loses
its charm too.

Next time I'm heading for the trashcan .... I'll carry more interesting
reading material!

Kidding aside, I'm sorry that the site you were looking for is no longer
there, but shooting the messenger who tells you its no longer there is
hardly a solution.

However, if letting your hair down made you feel better,

To which I got a wonderful reply which started...

Ok...I apologize for my "flaming" email. I rarely do send such things.

and then went on to suggestions, comments etc.

However, (unfortunately for you? ;-) this has got me started on the
saga of flaming. What do you think .... should one write flaming
letters ? Give me your honest opinion ....


before you go through the rest of I-Laugh #73, as in the new discussions
I give you my thoughts (and Mark Twain's) on flaming letters.

With Best Wishes,
Many a true word is spoken in jest.

Subscribe to
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Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

LOL! Reading Gunjan's comments on flaming reminded me about
a client, PI (Pre-Internet). She had bought a Conroy's Florist Shop
franchise a couple of years earlier. When you do that, THEY assign
you a location.

It turned out that they put her on a corner, on a stretch of boulevard,
that was noted for its prostitution and criminal activity. She didn't
know this until she'd been there for a while and realized that she
had too many grab and run thefts - and the men coming to her corner
weren't looking at the flowers.

Aside from the costs of constantly re-doing her store for every whim
of Conroy's designers (which seemed to be about every 3 months),
the security costs were staggering.

Going back to Conroy's corporate, she did everything she could to
get them to move her to a more reasonable, safer location. They kept
making promises, and opening new stores, giving them to other
franchisees, but kept her requests on the back burner.

Finally, one day, she'd just had enough. I told her to write the most
blistering, nasty letter she could. Get everything out of her system
and really give it to them. All barrels blasting.

Wow! That was the most amazing letter. And, surprisingly, there was
a good degree of good, logical information in it. She felt much better
getting it out of her system.

And I edited it for (well, you know what for) and cleaned it up, added
a few legal insinuations, and sent it off. Funny, but Conroys finally
decided it might be easier just to buy her out after that. She got her
money within less than 6 months. (That's moving fast for a bureaucratic
company like that.)

Your Comic Guide

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com  - 4 Secrets to Happy Tax Returns

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=====  Continuing Discussions  =====

=== > Various Incomes

Hi Gunjan,

Eva mentioned about the quiz (I-Laugh #72 - Losing it!) and being
ethical, money etc.

I was wondering how many people here believe in making (or
balancing monetary income with) non-monetary income.

Phil McGraw [author Life Strategies] says there are 6 kinds of

  1. Monetary Income      - Most popular!
  2. Psychological Income - Emotional, Intellectual Income.
  3. Achievement Income   - Workaholics! [No offence meant!]
  4. Physical Income      - Body pleasures = exercise, sex, eating.
  5. Social Income        - Working/ helping the community.
  6. Spiritual Income     - That mysterious thing!

Anyone out there (on this list) actually ever tried to make incomes 2
to 6? Most of 4 I am sure everyone works towards!

I know Eva is too good with 5!!

Best regards,

Amit Malik.
Do you invest in expenses or assets?

Comments -

=== > Speaker Marketing Tip

LAY DOWN THE LAW  by Tom Antion

It is always best to communicate a clear set of groundrules
near the beginning of a presentation. For instance, if you do
not want questions until the end of your program, state that
up front and get agreement from the group. If comments from
the audience are allowed, ask that they be kept to a certain
amount of time (like 30 seconds or less). Getting everyone
to agree to your plan in the beginning puts enormous peer
pressure on an individual violating any of the rules.

from Tom Antion's Great Speaking Newsletter

You can subscribe FREE to Tom's newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below)


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=====  New Discussions  =====

===> Should one write flaming Letters?

In my opinion, the answer to that, in a single word, is a
resounding YES.

Writing flaming letters in answer to stupid mails or frustrating
situations helps you to let out your frustrations and thus relax.
Also, if you write your flaming letters by trying to put, in
publishable words, the nasty unpublishable things you would like
to say, it tests your creativity to the limit and improves your writing
skills dramatically.

Check out for yourself a couple of flaming letters that Mark Twain

(An enthusiast who had a new system of musical notation, wrote to
Twain and suggested that a magazine article from me, contrasting the
absurdities of the old system with the simplicities of his new one, would
be sure to make a "rousing hit.". Twain replied with a polite apology
but the person wouldn't take no for an answer and kept persisting.)

DEAR SIR,--What is the trouble with you?  If it is your viscera, you
cannot have them taken out and reorganized a moment too soon. I
mean, if they are inside. But if you are composed of them, that is
another matter. Is it your brain?  But it could not be your brain.
Possibly it is your skull: you want to look out for that. Some people,
when they get an idea, it pries the structure apart. Your system of
notation has got in there, and couldn't find room, without a doubt that
is what the trouble is. Your skull was not made to put ideas in, it was
made to throw potatoes at.
                          Yours Truly.

(There was a day, now happily nearly over, when certain newspapers
made a practice of inviting men distinguished in any walk of life to give
their time and effort without charge to express themselves on some subject
of the day, or perhaps they were asked to send their favorite passages in
prose or verse, with the reasons why.  Such symposiums were "features"
that cost the newspapers only the writing of a number of letters,
stationery, and postage.  To one such invitation Mark Twain wrote )

DEAR SIR,--I have received your proposition--which you have imitated
from a pauper London periodical which had previously imitated the idea
of this sort of mendicancy from seventh-rate American journalism, where
it originated as a variation of the inexpensive "interview."

Why do you buy Associated Press dispatches?  To make your paper the
more salable, you answer.  But why don't you try to beg them?  Why do
you discriminate?  I can sell my stuff; why should I give it to you?  Why
don't you ask me for a shirt?  What is the difference between asking me
for the worth of a shirt and asking me for the shirt itself?  Perhaps you
didn't know you were begging.  I would not use that argument--it makes
the user a fool.  The passage of poetry--or prose, if you will--which has
taken deepest root in my thought, and which I oftenest return to and
dwell upon with keenest no matter what, is this:  That the proper place
for journalists who solicit literary charity is on the street corner with
their hats in their hands.

Aren't these absolute beauties? Don't you agree now that it can be
super fun, ultra relaxing and highly creative to write flaming letters.

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak


Turning Dreams into Dollars...

An ebook in which you won't find the get-rich-quick
garbage or motivational fluff that sounds good but never
works. Not too surprising, since the editors of
Internet ScamBusters are publishing it."


====> What should you do with your flaming letters?

Now that's more important than the previous question so it'll
need a longer answer .... (3 words instead of 1)

If you went through the reasons we discussed for writing flaming
letters all those objectives were achieved as you wrote the flaming
letter. So what would be the point in sending it and upsetting the

Here's what Mark Twain has to say about this ...

"When you get an exasperating letter what happens? If you are young,
you answer it promptly, instantly--and mail the thing you have written.
At forty what do you do? By that time you have found out that a letter
written in passion is a mistake in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred."

Following his own advice, both the letters mentioned in the previous post
were not mailed. The mailed replies are as follows ...

Case 1

DEAR SIR,--Come, come--take a walk; you disturb the children.
                          Yours Truly.

Case 2

DEAR SIR,--Your favor of recent date is received, but I am obliged by
press of work to decline.

If you've written a beauty of a flaming letter, have decided not to
send it to the person it was addressed to, but are still dying to share
your piece of art, share it with all your friends here at I-Laugh! ;-)



Cartoon Break

Look at the Brighter side...

Cell phone



====> Answering Flaming Letters

I am not talking of the letters which read YOU !@#$%^&
!@#%^&** etc, but well written yet nasty letters.

How should one answer them? Simple! Just remember that
with writing that letter, the person who has written it, has
already let out most of his frustrations and is now back to
normal mode where you can have a decent discussion if
you don't add fuel to the fire by replying in the same tone
as the original.

Makes sense?

coz 7 days without a pun makes one weak


===========  This week's Humor  ==========

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on
from generation to generation, says that when you
discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best
strategy is to dismount.

In modern education and government, however, a
whole range of far more advanced strategies are often
employed, such as.....

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how
     others ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses
     can be included.
7. Re-classifying the dead horse as "living, impaired".
8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase
     the speed.
10. Providing additional funding and/or training to
     increase the dead horse's performance.
11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders
     would improve the dead horse's performance.
12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have
     to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead,
     and therefore contributes substantially more to the
     bottom line of the economy than do some other
13. Re-writing the expected performance requirements
     for all horses.
14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
15. And one more very effective way to get more out
     of a dead horse: Hire some auditors to cook the books.

Comments :


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