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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

9th October  2002    #     Issue 80
"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life,
that no man can sincerely try to help another
without helping himself."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


Moderator's Comment -
                                          ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                          ~ Eva


Splitting Headaches ~ A suggestion
                          ~ Gunjan

Picking on piques, peaks and peeks.
                          ~ Joseph Harris
                          ~ Moderator's Comments

Silly Numbers & Missed Opportunity
                          ~ dc

Speaking Tip
                           ~ from Tom Antion


Call for Help
                          ~ from Joseph Harris

Another Call for Help
                         ~ Grace


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Moderator's Message

Hi LaughMates,

What a week it's been. Started off with last week's issue (#79).
Was grilled by Uncle Joe. I'd barely recovered when a playful
suggestion from DC left me thinking that I was always going to
remain a dumbo and keep on missing the 'wit' boat.

I received some extremely encouraging words too. The ones
saying I was doing well on the limericks front are especially
dear to me as they came from none other than Kirk Miller ....
one of my absolutely favorite limerick writers.

If you enjoy limericks too, check out some amazing
limericks by Kirk Miller at www.workinghumor.com/poems/limerickskirk.shtml
(There's a page 2 and 3 too if you look carefully ;-)

Once you've had your fun with the limericks, do get back
here..... We have a couple of calls for YOUR help in
I-Laugh #80.

With Best Wishes,
Many a true word is spoken in jest.

Subscribe to
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

P.S - I forgot to tell you. Another highlight for this week was
that Tom Antion sent me a complimentary copy of his
Wake 'em Up ebook. What a fantastic ebook. I've
just gone through the introduction and a few pages of
chapter 1 and I love it already ! (It has well over
300 pages.) Oh boy .... am I looking forward to my
next speech/presentation !!

If you want your own copy ... (no I don't think it'll be
complimentary, but it's not expensive either) go via



Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

I am so glad that I-Laugh is here. Particularly at times like this
when I am pulling another set of marathon working sessions to
meet a tax deadline.

For the most part, I've been nice and gentle and kind, and
consoling, and even friendly, funny, irreverent and pleasant
with clients who are, just now, getting me their data.
(They've had over 9 months to gather minor bits of information.)

But, then, there are those who will try the patience of a saint,
even mine.

Let me give you some tips on how to ensure that you will be
object of someone's uncontrollable rage. Want to play with
someone? Do this:

When you send a fax, DO make sure that you don't put your
phone number on it, so they can't call you if there is a problem.

When you send a fax, DO be sure not to ask for permission to
send 15 or 20 pages.

When you send a fax, and you keep getting error messages, DO
be sure to keep sending it, over and over again, for the next two
hours without calling to find out what's wrong.

When you're sending this endless fax that keeps generating
error messages, DO be sure not to be at any of the phone
numbers the recipient has on file for you.

When you're sending this fax for the 120th time,  that keeps
generating error messages, DO be sure to send an e-mail to
that person, to let them know you are sending the fax, but
DO be sure not to read their reply begging you to stop.

When you're sending this fax for the 150th time,  that keeps
generating error messages, DO be sure to ignore the desperate
plea on the fax send back to your fax machine that says
"STOP! STOP sending this fax, you're jamming my machine.
And give me your phone number so we can talk."  Be sure to
ignore it at least 3 or 4 times, before you call to find out what's

And while you're sending this fax for the 190th time,  that
keeps generating error messages, DO be sure to finally call in,
after nearly two hours, and when the recipient picks up the phone
and starts to chastise you for not including your contact information,
picking up your phone, or reading your e-mail, DO be sure to say,
"Gee, looks like you're in a bad mood today. Let me call you
tomorrow, when you're calmer."

This idiot kept re-sending that same 18-page fax, over and over,
for, literally two hours. It kept jamming after the first page or two.
It kept interrupting faxes IRS was trying to send to me, while I was
on the line with them. It kept interfering with faxes I was expecting
from brokerages with client data I desperately needed in order to
complete some tax returns that day. And it forced me to keep running
over the fax machine every two minutes (yes, really) to unjam the
machine and delete her fax so the next 'real' one could come in.

And to top it all off, in the course of running to fax machine, yet
again, I bumped the copier door and broke something - so we had
to wait until noon the next day for the repairman to come and fix it...
all while we have dozens of tax returns that needed to be copied and
assembled. Oh, and her little escapade did such a good number on
the fax itself, that I have to have a repairman come out today to fix it.
(Before she started, it used to jam once in while. Now, it jams going
out, as well. The rollers seem to be fried.)

So, aside from costing me two service calls, the use of my very
essential equipment for about 24 hours, she also cost me two hours
of precious working time when I couldn't work on at least two tax
returns  because I had to keep running to the fax machine. (The
good news? I must have burned at least 1000 calories.)

And her reaction?
"I am loathe to apologize to you after being treated so rudely by
you - so I  won't."

I fired her as a client. But, now she wants me to fax her copies of
her extensions to her.

What would you do?


1) She's not paid me a dime for my work this year.
2) IRS has the extensions, so she's protected.
3) IRS doesn't require a copy of the extensions
    to be attached to the returns.
4) If I don't send it to her, nothing bad will happen to
    her, taxwise, but it will really upset her.


Comic Guide

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com    - 4 Secrets to Happy Tax Returns

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=====  Continuing Discussions  =====

===> Splitting Headaches - A suggestion

Hi Eva,

How about trying the ol' good news bad news routine.

First tell them that Bruce and you are splitting up. (That's
just news ... neither good nor bad)

Disguise the bad news as good news and add a silly bad

The Good News ..... You're lucky. The lots say that you'll
have Bruce doing Tax .... He'll do a great job etc

The Bad News ...... I have decided to go easier on
work and socialize much more this year ..... So in
your capacity as friend you'll still be seeing them as
often. .... Poor them etc

I thought a long time before sending in this suggestion.
The doubt in my mind ....." 2p or not 2p" ;-)


[Eva: That's great! I love good news; bad news gags. In fact,
when it comes to setting my fees for a project, that's just what
I use: "Well, first,  the bad news is that you're going to pay me an
extra few hundred dollars. But, the good news is, your refund will
be several thousand more than you were expecting." ]

=== > Picking on piques, peaks and peeks


I'm not laughing

As I wend my way about the web I am constantly jarred by
failures in spelling. Not those difficult words; no,  those words
which sound the same but look different - and have such totally
different meanings that there is danger of serious misinterpretation.

When these come into my machine I am not my normal calm and
forgiving self (ahem!). So when, in I-Laugh #79, I found that
common misuse of 'peaked' in 'This Week's Humor' my head
sank into my hands and I let out a cry of woe.

Please, please, please, please: curiosity is 'piqued (don't ask me
why? it just is); caps are often 'peaked'; and if you are sporting a
black eye it is because you 'peeked' at the young lady taking a

Happy spelling,

Professor Uncle Joe in admonishing mode.

Moderator's Note - As soon as I got that note I sent
a little note to Uncle Joe apologizing for that oversight
but added that I was pained that it had got him so piqued
that he wasn't laughing.

Apparently this got him back him in good cheer cause
he responded with ...

I peeked through the keyhole
But what did I see?
A cap with a peak
That was looking at me.

It piqued my curiosity
But before I could ask
The cap with the peak
Took me to task.

'You must not peek
Whatever your pique -
Now with my cap's peak
Some havoc I'll wreak.'

Uncle Joe in Professorial mode

=== > Silly Numbers & Missed Opportunities


I'm betting that it took you 77 clicks to find all that
77 stuff... :)

And... you missed a beat... you should have edited
the last joke to be all 7's instead of 5's...  LOL


Comments -

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=== > Speaking Tip

Why use humor?

Why should I bother using humor in my presentations? Can't I just
deliver my information and sit down? You sure can and that's what
most people do. The problem is that most people are not effective
presenters. They are nighty nite, snooze inducing, say your prayers,
hit the sack, unlicensed hypnotists. They are ZZZZZs presenters.
They might be experts in their field and be able to recite hours and
hours of information on their topic, but is that effective? No.
An effective presentation is one that achieves its purpose,
whatever that may be.

I don't think that most presenters define their purpose clearly even to
themselves. As part of being a NO ZZZZZs presenter you must ask yourself:
Why am I here? What do I want to accomplish? Am I here
to sell something? Am I here to motivate? Am I here to persuade?
Am I here to get votes? What do I want the audience to take home
with them when I'm done? Once you've answered these questions I
can tell you how and why humor and many other professional
techniques will help you achieve your goals. But if you don't even
know why you are there, then I can't help you.

According to Bob Orben, Special Assistant to President
Gerald Ford and Former Director of the White House Speech
writing Department, "Business executives and political leaders
have embraced humor because humor works. Humor has gone
from being an admirable part of a leader's character to a
mandatory one."

[This as you'll probably guess is an extract from Tom Antion's
ebook Wake 'em Up. The List of Benefits from humor in
Presentations and Public Speaking that followed is huge.
I'll split it up and give it to you over the next 2-3 issues.
OR you can your own copy via

This extract is not from Tom Antion's Great Speaking
Newsletter. However the Newsletter has tons of great
tips too.

You can subscribe FREE to Tom's newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]


Comments or if have you a tip to share -

=====  New Discussions  =====

====> Call for Help

Hi Laughmates,

I am just working on an ebook and am close to completing
it. Your moderator Gunjan had some good suggestions for
the ebook so I made the mistake of asking for his opinion
for the sales page too. He didn't like it and made me redo it.

I like my version much better than his. Would you please
help us settle our dispute by letting us know which version
you like better.

1)  www.smilepoetryweekly.com/salestest.shtml

2) www.smilepoetryweekly.com/salestest2.shtml

Please do send in your vote on which you find better at ...

Also if you'd take the time to add your suggestions
and comments I'd be happy to pass on a complimentary
copy of my ebook to 10 most helpful posts.

Thank you,

Joseph Harris (aka Uncle Joe) www.smilepoetryweekly.com


=== > Another Call for Help

Hi Laughmates,

I will be mistress of ceremonies for a musical event where
I live and even though I have done public speaking, I have
never been mistress of ceremonies.  Should I try and fill time
with jokes, stories or just announce the acts?  Any suggestions
as to where on the web I could find cute stories?



Turning Dreams into Dollars...

An ebook in which you won't find the get-rich-quick
garbage or motivational fluff that sounds good but never
works. Not too surprising, since the editors of
Internet ScamBusters are publishing it."


===========  This week's Humor ==============

A little girl takes the elevator on her way to school. The girl
hasn't finished her homework, as she is stuck with one of the
questions. Next to her in the elevator there is a housewife,
an accountant, and a lawyer.

"Excuse me", she says, speaking to no one in particular.
"Could anyone please tell me how much is 3 times 4?"

"Why, twelve of course, little girl", answers the housewife,
somewhat detachedly. She steps out at the next elevator
stop muttering something about laundry and cooking.

The girl does not seem to be happy with the answer, so she
looks at the accountant expectantly. He sighs, and tries to do
some mental calculations. "I'm not sure", he finally offers, "might
be 11.99 or 12.50. I need to run these numbers on my
spreadsheet to make sure."

Of course she is not happy with this answer either, so she turns to
look at the lawyer. The lawyer smiles confidently at her, discreetly
signaling her to wait. When the accountant finally steps out of the
elevator, the lawyer kneels down to her and whispers, "how much
do you want it to be?"

(From The Daily Joke Post)

Comments :


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