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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

11th December  2002    #     Issue 89
Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
~ John Wooden


Moderator's Comment -
                                                ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                ~ Eva


Ideas to ponder over .... and Discuss
                              ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip
                                 ~ from Tom Antion


They said that it could not be done
                                   ~ Gunjan

Make a note of this one !
                                 ~ Useful jokes Dept.


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Moderator's Comments

Dear Laughmates,

Let me start this week's issue with a little poem
by Benny Hill

They said that it could not be done,
He said "Just let me try."
They said, "Other men have tried and failed,"
He answered, "But not I."
They said, "It is impossible,"
He said, "There's no such word."
He closed his mind, he closed his heart...
To everything he heard.

He said, "Within the heart of man,
There is a tiny seed.
It grows until it blossoms,
It's called the will to succeed.
Its roots are strength, its stem is hope,
Its petals inspiration,
Its thorns protect its strong green leaves,
With grim determination.

"Its stamens are its skills
Which help to shape each plan,
For there's nothing in the universe
Beyond the scope of man."
They thought that it could not be done,
Some even said they knew it,
But he faced up to what could not be done...
And he couldn't bloody do it!

Why is this old poem which I must have heard
over ten years back on my mind? As you go on
with I-Laugh #89 and get to the 'They said that it
could not be done' post you'll find out.

With best wishes,
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

Coming back from a raucous trip with a bunch of rowdies
from South Africa, UK, Isreal, Curacao, Puerto Rico, and
other parts of the globe, well, I'm still a little high.

Reading Gunjan's Benny Hill poem reminds of some
'it couldn't be done' episodes I've experienced.

Many of them happened to me, out of sheer ignorance,
in my youth. Others happened to people I know, some due
to ignorance and youthful spirits; others simply due to
stubborn determination. May I relate some brief tales?

1) In high school, I tried so hard to get a job. Despite being an A student,
clean-cut, good mannered, no one would hire me without experience,
except the telephone sales rooms. Finally,  I broke down and gave $10
to these two guys at Services Unlimited, who found part-time jobs for
college students, got me a nice job.

Being so grateful to get away from the sleazy back room operations,
I'd spend an hour each evening calling businesses that were opening,
soliciting new job openings for John and Lloyd, leaving 3-5 new
job listings with their answering service every night. It turned out,
the two of them, combined, calling around and visiting employers,
were only getting, perhaps 3-5 openings each WEEK. Not knowing
how hard it was to get employers to cough up jobs, I succeeded,
where they couldn't. (Naturally, I went to work for them full-time
and built up their job banks until they were overflowing.)

2) A publisher I wrote for was an aspiring clothing designer. She
produced a line of really comfortable cotton/poly knits that were
twistable, tie-able, and versatile enough to look good on women
from sizes 1 to 20. (One size really did fit most.) She wanted to
get it into Saks 5th Avenue, with everyone telling her it was
impossible.  So, off she went to the store and persuaded the
manager to let her do a 'trunk show'. (You bring your garments
and let people buy them - the store gets a big chunk of the sales
proceeds.) Her clothes were so popular, pretty soon several Saks
stores started carrying her wares.

3) You already know about my dental hygenist who wanted to help
seniors and pets. http://angelsday.org - take a look her Honorary Board
http://www.angelsday.org/Html/AboutUs.htm   - these people really do
help out. She didn't know that she shouldn't pester them, so she asked
for their support. They said, 'yes.'

So, my friends, don't hesitate to tread where others are too timid to go.

Eva's lifelong philosophy?

Ask. The worst they can do is laugh. And you can enjoy a good laugh, too

So, have you ever done something impossible, because you didn't know better?

Your Comic Guide

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com   - 4 Secrets to Happy Tax Returns

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=====  Continuing Discussions  =====

Hi Laughmates,

Not a single guess or comment on the passage last week.
I guess we're allergic to 'TruthFull' discussions eh ? ;-)

Well, the passage last week was the opening of Friedrich
Nietzsche's - "Beyond good and evil". I thought The Doc
would spot that one instantly, but as he's had a pretty rough
week he must have missed it.

Shall we take a much more ancient passage this week...
(oops, I'm starting to give out clues)

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear
the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not
the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in
every battle.

Guess who wrote/said this or from where it is taken

Share your thoughts on the subject

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=== > Speaking Tip

May I Help You?

Many audience members would love to get a piece of the
limelight by helping the presenter. Take advantage of this
fact by giving out jobs. You could have an audience member
writing on the flipchart for you. You could have another one
handling cue cards or timing the presentation. This is also a
good method to handle audience members who you fear
might be boisterous enough to be disruptive. If you give
them something to do, you will have better control over
them and you will be able to give them the attention that
they want.

Try to make sure potentially troublesome audience members
are seated close to you so you have some measure of control.
If they are seated in the back, any noise they make will cause
the rest of the  audience to look away from you.

~ Tom Antion

[This is an extract from Tom Antion's ebook Wake 'em Up.
You can get your own copy via http://snurl.com/wakeup

This extract is not from Tom Antion's Great Speaking
Newsletter. However the Newsletter has tons of great
tips too.

You can subscribe FREE to Tom's newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]


Comments or if have you a tip to share -

=====  New Discussions  =====

====> They said that it could not be done !

Dear Laughmates,

When the little graphic design unit that I headed moved
from designing for print media into multimedia presentations
about 6-7 years back we were very excited. Learning each
software - animation, morphing, 3d modeling and gradually
even 3d animation was a great thrill and the stuff we were
creating looked (and made us feel) absolutely great.

There was no way PowerPoint or any slide presentation
software with all it's built in transition effects could come
anywhere close to the sort of presentations we could come
with. Unfortunately, we had one BIG problem. The presentations
developed by us were never alterable by the client. If a single
line or data or anything had to be altered it had to be done by
us. Most clients didn't like that one bit.... "My stats change every
week. Even if the rest of my presentation is similar that one
page needs to change every week." We offered solutions like
annual contracts etc to overcome this, but most clients weren't
too happy about it.

Just last week Dr. Santosh was telling how he had faced the
same problem and how he had overcome it. How any
text, graph or chart could be replaced from within his
presentations. And he was good enough to tell me how they
had solved the problem. WOW !! Here was something which
we had not been able to figure out for years and now he was
telling me the solution and (once it had come to them)
it was so simple. I don't know if you've ever been a witness
personally to watching something you felt could not be done,
being done. It feels absolutely amazing.
{Imagine how all the witnesses much have felt at Kitty Hawk
on December 17, 1903.... How's that for an exaggerated
comparison ? ;-}

[P.S - Dr. Santosh has agreed to give a 10% discount
just for Laughmates on his new hitech presentations.
You may contact Dr. Santosh at
santosh@intellimediatech.com  and don't forget to let him
know you're a Laughmate to get your discount.]

Comments -

=== > Make a note of this one

Hi Friends,

I read this joke in Dr Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest
on the 6th of December and have not only repeated it a
dozen times but have already had the occasion to use it twice.
Just substitute the words Nuclear Power with whatever topic
any nonstop talker is rambling about and ........ (Why don't
I shut up and let you read for yourself ! ;-)

Two strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane.

One guy says to the other, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go
faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly,
takes off his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"

The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know - How about Nuclear Power?"

The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting
conversation. But let me ask you a question first:

A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff. But the deer excretes
pellets; the cow - big patties; and the horse - clumps of dried grass.
Why is that?"

The first guy says, "I don't know."

The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're
qualified to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know shit?"

Comments -

Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)

===========  This week's Humor ==============

Time Off

Two men working in a factory were talking. "I know how to
get some time off," said one.

"How are you going to do that?"

"Watch," he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked
what he was doing up there, and the man replied."I'm a lightbulb."

"I think you need some time off," the foreman said , and the first man
walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him.

"Where do you think you're going?" the foreman shouted.

"I can't work in the dark," he said.

(From Jo-Lene's Daily Humor)

Comments :


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Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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