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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

3rd January  2003    #     Issue 92
New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to
anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly
calls, and humbug resolutions, and we wish you to enjoy it with a
looseness suited to the greatness of the occasion.
~ Mark Twain


Moderator's Comment -
                                                ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                 ~ Eva


Who Knocked up my bear
                      ~ Tom Trottier

Ideas to ponder over .... and Discuss
                              ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip
                                 ~ from Tom Antion


When words fail
                    ~ Rob Palmer


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Moderator's Comments

Dear Laughmate,

Greetings -- best wishes to thee,
May this New Year wonderful be,
Not only with wealth...
But also with health.
So my prayer - 2003 (To Double O3) !

This is the little message that I've been sending
all my friends, relatives and associates and now
of course it's meant for you ... my dear Laughmate.

As I send out these messages ... the tremendous responses
(I'll share same of them with you in the next issue) makes
me wonder why people don't take more trouble with their
online Greetings. (Either they don't send them at all or it's
a drab - "Wish you all the best message", or worst of all
it's an online card which takes 359 days to load up, if you
do follow the link.)

Offline people spend so much on Gifts, diaries, cards etc,
wouldn't it make sense to take the time (either yourself or
by hiring a professional) to send better messages and
egifts? What are your thoughts on the matter....

They are a waste ...

They may make sense but they're not for me...

I tried them and...

Never thought about it but I like the idea...

Any other remarks, comments, suggestions on the subject...

Remember your Resolution for 2003?
To be an Active Laughmate !! ;-)
Hope you've sent in your answer above before you move
on to rest of I-Laugh #92.

With best wishes,
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

Oh boy! Another new year. Hey, I was just getting ready for Y2K!

and speaking of Y2K, I just read about one of our senators who was
so concerned with the demise of water quality due to Y2k, he started
takings some chemical supplement. Uh, he forgot to stop using it after
it turned out that there were no problems. How do we know? His skin
turned orange. (Or green, or....some other wonderful, and noticeable

And having taken the time to goof off for the last week or so
(you know, husband home, major distraction), I was reading some
short stories. One was a mystery, in either Mystery Magazine or
Ellery Queen. (I can't look it up because I gave the books to my
assistant.)  There was one short story, only about a page and half
long, that still has me chuckling. I wish I could remember the author.

In honor of Gunjan, I must paraphrase the story. My apologies to
the author. He is a wonderful wit!

In short,  Bullwinkle the Moose was murdered when a safe,
having fallen upon him, squashed him flat. There was a
rabbi nearby, leaving the scene on a pogo stick. Bullwinkle was
found with a Hindu god between his hands and toothpicks on the
sides of his lips, forcing a smile.

The visiting detective solved the crime, on the stop, as the work
of the Merry Christmas Bandit. Asked to explain how he knew.
He said all the clues were there.

Wee Vishnu, merry crushed moose and a hoppy Jew Near.

Your Comic Guide

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com   - 4 Secrets to Happy Tax Returns

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=====  Continuing Discussions  =====

===> Who Knocked up my bear?

(If you remember, this was the heading of the Humor
for the week section in Issue #91 and in contained a joke
about a doctor's explanation to his 80 year old patient.
Tom has this to say about it ....)

Tell that to Charlie Chaplin, who conceived 8 children with Ooona
after age 54. The oldest was born when Chaplin was 73 and
Ooona 37.

Teenaged girls are especially fertile.

The oldest father in 1996 in Illinois was 87.

Or from Australia,

Mine worker Les Colley (1898-1998), from the town of Ararat in
western Victoria, made world headlines as the world's oldest father
at age 93 yr. 10 mo., when his son Oswald was born in July 1992.
'I never thought she would get pregnant so easy, but she bloody well
did,' he told the papers, discounting the possibility that perhaps HE
had more to do with this miracle of fertilization. A non-drinker and
non-smoker, he remained active up to the very end, succumbing to
pneumonia four months shy of his 100th birthday


And of course the bible mentions Abraham as being near 100 before
he had his first child.


[Moderator: Uh, Sarah, Abraham's wife was 127 years old when Isaac
was born.  (see Parshat Chaye Sarah, if you know Hebrew) Eva]

===> Ideas to ponder over .... and Discuss

Our extract for this week is

"And everything is always late?" asks Jonah. "You can't
ship anything on time?"

"One thing I'll admit," I tell him, "is that we have a heck of
a problem meeting shipping dates. It's a serious issue with
customers lately."

Jonah nods, as if he had predicted it.

"Wait a minute here . . . how come you know of these things?"
I ask him.

He smiles again.

"Just a hunch," says Jonah. "Besides, I see those symptoms in
a lot of the manufacturing plants. You're not alone."

I say, "But aren't you a physicist?"

"I'm a scientist," he says. "And right now you could say I'm doing
work in the science of organizations - manufacturing organizations
in particular."

"Didn't know there was such a science."

"There is now," he says.

Guess who wrote/said this or from where it is taken

Share your thoughts on the science of organizations,
does such a thing exist, have you heard of it/use it,
or is it a creation of the author of that passage.


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=== > Speaking Tip


When speaking to a very small group of people you should be able
to include an extremely large amount of customization. You should
have researched the group and done your normal homework including
phone interviews with the expected attendees (if it is a public
event and you don't know who is coming, be set up way early so
you can greet and interview people as they arrive.) Jot down a
note of why each person attended. Then, when a section of your
talk applies to them, point it out and name them by name.

Example: "John, you told me you wanted to learn how to sell more
to the people that visit your website. This section specifically
addresses that, especially the part about the psychology of the

Don't assume that people will perk up when you come to the part
that specifically applies to them. Make a big deal to point it
out to them. You will be adding an extreme amount of value which
makes them realize that it was a good thing they attended. Oh and
don't forget they'll love you for it.

from Tom Antion's Great Speaking Newsletter

You can subscribe FREE to Tom's newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]


Comments or if have you a tip to share -

=====  New Discussions  =====

====>  When Words Fail...

(The following post was originally posted by Rob in I-Sales.
It is reprinted here with his permission.)

From: Rob Palmer

The importance of good copywriting has been discussed many
times in I-Sales, but it seems that Amazon.com management
missed the relevant issues. Today I noticed that Amazon is
working hard to promote its new Apparel Store. When you
read a book product page, you get, as usual, a section entitled:

Customers who bought this book also bought:

Below this, however, is a new section entitled:

Customers who wear clothes also shop for:

Customers who wear clothes? Clothes-wearers are a special-interest
group amongst Amazon shoppers? Presumably the great majority,
therefore, are all naturists, strippers or flashers?

The section goes on to advise you that you can buy Clean Underwear
from Amazon's Target Store. So can you also buy not-so-clean
underwear from Amazon's Z-Stores?

It seems that Amazon has made the fatal mistake of allowing techies
to write copy for the pages they are working on -- a sure-fire
recipe for disaster.

Best wishes

Rob Palmer
Freelance Work Exchange (Find Work, Make Money)

Comments -

Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)

===========  This week's Humor ==============

Memo: Prospective Employee Assessment
To: All Managers
Subject: Prospective Employee Assessment

The following guidelines shall be used when hiring new personnel.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them
in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two
hours, Without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and
see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they have left early, put them in Sales.

(From Dr. Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners )

Comments :


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