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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

15th January  2003    #     Issue 94
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated
because there are fewer articles to read.
~ George Burns


Moderator's Comment -
                                                  ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                   ~ Eva


Greetings ... More of the best replies I got
                       ~ Gunjan

Comments on Moderator's Comments
                      ~ Arik

Ideas to ponder over .... and Discuss
                                ~ The Doc (JD Lentz)
                                ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip
                                   ~ from Tom Antion


               ~ Gunjan



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Moderator's Comments

Dear Laughmates,

Look at what I found ... It's supposed to be just another
fun line. It was buried in a pack of humorous lines about
old age ... but is it just a fun line ?

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

I think it's a very deep thought indeed and have been mulling
over it for over 4 days and the conclusion I've reached is that...
It's a very deep thought and one should mull over it !

If you mull over it too and want to share your reflections with us
you can do so at


As one of my favorite punsters - Cynthia Macgregor said
to the PUNY list last week "C'mon--it's a big sandbox--
everybody else jump in and play!"

And on that solemn note here's I-Laugh #94, with a another
new section added. (Had you noticed it in the index above?)
Please do let us know what you think of this new section as
well as the one we'd started recently ...
"Ideas to ponder over .... and Discuss"


With best wishes,
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

This last week, reading my husband's hand-me-down copy
of his Economist from last month, there was an article I
just had to share with you.  (It is paraphrased. The writer
wrote it so much better.)


The reporter was interviewing Arabs in a cafe, somewhere,
asking them who they thought was really responsible for
the 9-11 attacks on the World Trade Center.

Various people had various, vehement opinions. Some of them
were attributing the attacks to Al-Gur. The reporter's antennae
perked up, since he had never heard of this offshoot of al-Qaeda.
Or was it some other terrorist group, that he was the first to

Asking more probing questions, he learned that this Al-Gur was
the obvious culprit. Al-Gur had the strongest desire for revenge.

Ever since the 2000 presidential election - that was when the
former vice president lost out on his bid to be president.

I almost fell of the toilet!

Moving on to other old things. I found the mystery magazines
from whence I got the "Wee Vishnu, a merry crushed moose"
story. I wanted to get you the name of the author, but the story
seems to have completely disappeared. It must have just
appeared, briefly, for Christmas.

And as tax issues press upon me, I must disappear, as well.

Your Comic Guide,

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com   - 4 Secrets to Happy Tax Returns
Online Gambling Tax Mysteries

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===> Greetings - More of the best replies I got

Well, Buzzy*, you're a silly thing
Your wishes are sweet--with no sting
But I, unlike you,
Make my wishes haiku,
And then I go off and I sing.

My haiku thoughts on having a New Year:

It's another chance
Do you think we can do right?
Love, peace, clarity.

I'd like parity
Can't we just all get along?
We don't want a war.

It's time to wake up
We're hurting all that we love
It may be too late

Thanks for thinking of me!
I wish you all good things in "To double oh three"

Love, peace and clarity!

(*Gunjan -> (in Sanskrit) The buzzing of the bees.)

Tomorrow with cake and champagne
my kids will remind me again
"every year she gets cuter,
else we'd have to shoot her,"
(I'm their aging but wonderful Lane)..

They ply me with lotions, anti-aging creams,
in case staying young is one of my dreams;
but little they know,
that my inner glow
though kept neatly inside my skin seams

is 40 years younger than they'll ever see
and jiggles and dances with unbridled glee
that despite the wrinkles
the baggy knee crinkles,
my inside's much younger than the outside me.


Please, send any comments to:

===> Makes me Laugh

Eva & Gunjan shalom,

Thank you for your kind and warm words.

My father passed two weeks before his 83 birthday
that is today.

I wish to tell a story someone told us about in the Shiva'h:

Two friends and neighbors played the Toto (gambling on
soccer outcome). They won a big sum. One has bought a big
lot and the other bought a TV set and used the money to
entertain his family and his friend. He would invite his friend
(the other winning partner) to watch TV and eat quality nuts.
They had good time and enjoyed each other company.

After time they passed away. The guy who "burnt" his money on
TV and nuts was loved by all and was greatly remembered.

The partner who invested his money "wisely" was loved and greatly
remembered too, but after his death the Yerusha disputes over the
lot has separated all his family....

Thank you for making me laugh.

Arik Schenkler - Chief Money Maker
Internet Dollar electronic money system - http://InternetDollar.com

Btw, Take a look at my new definition for a CEO.... -:)

Please, send any comments to:

===> Ideas to ponder over .... and Discuss

Only The Doc took a guess at what I really enjoyed
about The Goal. Unfortunately he hasn't read it YET.
Have any of you read it ? Can all those who have read it
put your hands up in the air ? I don't see any hands up in
the air ! Maybe it has something to do with eyesight.
Maybe you should try these instead....




And now on to the Doc's guess ....

I have read the pdf on TOC and ABC.  I have not read, The Goal.
While I find the pdf interesting and academic, I doubt that is what
caught your interest about the book. I suspect that it is the position
the antagonist of The Goal  is placed in that intrigues you, especially
that he has to divorce himself from all his precepts and not just get
outside the box, but actually destroy it, in order to discover a
pathway to success.

If I am correct, then the saying is also correct:  There ain't no
accounting for blind-assed luck..

The Doc (JD Lentz)
Loosen up your cod-piece a notch or two and let's
go find out what the punchlines are to all those dirty
Shakespearean jokes! with JEST in LITERATURE!
lit-subscribe@topica.com (For Adults Only)

The Doc didn't get it right this time (quite often the way he
reads my mind is frightening, so him not getting it this time
is rather reassuring ;-).

What I really enjoyed about The Goal ..... (let me for a
change not use my own numerous words and use the
precise words of the pdf I mentioned) -

"The book is a novel that covers both the organizational and
the personal life of its central character. In these spheres the
hero is led by his mentor, Jonah, through a Socratic method
of questioning, so that he appears to discover TOC principles
by his own efforts. It is commonly said of the book that it was
written in such a way that the reader anticipates the hero's
discovery by a page or so."

I remember having done that ... by a couple of pages in
some cases, as soon as a particular subject was brought
up in some cases and it did make me feel really smart and
good about myself.

If you are in charge of a manufacturing process,
(also for other senior management people and small
business owners) I suggest you do go through this book,
if you haven't come across it yet. Naturally you won't learn
anything new but common sense things you always knew,  ;-)
but it'll help you ensure that you aren't making any very silly
errors in the way you work.

To get your hands on your copy of The Goal -
new copy - 14$ - http://snurl.com/goalnew
used copy - 5$ upwards - http://snurl.com/goalold


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=== > Speaking Tip

Extract of another of the points under the '34 ways to be Funny'
chapter in Tom Antion's ebook Wake 'em Up.


A person, place, or event that is placed in a time period in which
it does not belong is called an anachronism. For instance, Paul
Revere riding a motorcycle or George Washington sitting in front
of a computer would be anachronisms. You see advertising
strategies using anachronisms all the time, especially around
Lincoln's and Washington's birthdays and Columbus Day.

I saw an ad for fluorescent light bulbs that had Thomas Edison
working on a phonograph. The caption read: "If Thomas Edison
wouldn't have wasted his time on this (incandescent bulb), his
phonograph might have been a CD player."

The relationship between new and old is always interesting.
Anytime you can highlight that relationship you will evoke
mild humor and create more attention on your product,
service, or point.

Here's a good fill-in-the-blank format. Would (big name
from the past) have ________________ if he had
 ________________? All you have to do is make a
simple relationship and your message will be funny and
memorable. Would George Washington have thrown his
money away in the Potomac if he had ABC investment
company on his side? Once you get the relationship down,
you can adjust the form to suit your presentation. The George Washington/ABC
investment anachronism could turn into a good,
usable one-liner. George Washington wouldn't have thrown his
money in the Potomac if he had come to us for advice.

[You can get your own copy of Tom Antion's ebook
Wake 'em Up at http://snurl.com/wakeup]

Comments or if have you a tip to share -


====>  Spam

Hi Laughmates,

A couple of weeks back I received a letter from a
gentleman? called Dan Johnson. He started his mail
by stating that he would show me 'the simple marketing
methods used by all of the Internet giants.' Another
of those ebook resellers who are using spam I thought.
But his next line 'Did you know that the ONLY way to
earn a lot of money on the net is through direct email?'

I've heard a lot of silly things in my life but this was the silliest
and if it wasn't sad that quite a few people do indeed get taken
in by such a bunch of rubbish I'd have had a really good laugh.

The ONLY way ?? This gentleman may not have heard of Ken Evoy,
Allan Gardyne, John Counsel and a host of other people who are
making fortunes on the net but surely he has heard of porn sites!
NONE of them are making money either ? (This is not in support
or promotion of porn sites but just to show how ridiculous
his claim is !)

He tries to back his ridiculous statements with even more
ridiculous facts.

"Search Engines are useless for business opportunities. There
are over 10 million pages and your page never gets higher
than the 900,000th no matter who you pay to help you!"

And how do the Search Engines fill the first 900,000 slots
if they do not list any of your sites ?? Would Mr. Johnson
care to explain that !

"Posting to Newsgroups is tedious, dangerous and non-productive.
They bring nothing but Hate-Mail, some pretty foul language, and
a nasty assortment of viruses and "worms"

I bet he's talking of spamming Newsgroups too. I'm a part of atleast
30 news/discussion groups and the worst language I've come across
is .... "I'm sorry but I don't agree with you".

and the silliest ....

"Opt-in mailing lists get you nothing but a clogged-up inbox from
people trying to sell you something... and you spend hours every
day just trying to keep the darn thing emptied out!"

Mr. Johnson seems to suddenly shift his point of view here. So far
all points were only from the point of view of the seller. This one
doesn't seem to be as if you're the one running the mailing lists I don't
see why your inbox should get clogged (unless it's by honest spammers
like himself). And from the point of view of the receiver .... you get
a clogged inbox from the lists that you've opted in but not from spam ?

I just don't know how any of those points can hold water with
any person who READS them ! And yet people seem to keep getting
taken in by this kinda of junk ? Anyone have any idea what I'm
missing out here.


Submissions -

Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)

===========  This week's Humor ==============

The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING.
However, most people often ask for a simple explanation of
"Marketing." Here it is:

You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and say,"I'm fantastic in bed,"

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome
guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you
says, "She's fantastic in bed," That's ADVERTISING.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say,"Hi, I'm fantastic in

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten
your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say,"May I,"
and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against
his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed," That's PUBLIC

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed," That's BRAND RECOGNITION.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home
with your friend. That's a SALES REP.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's TECH SUPPORT.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the
roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your
lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" That's SPAM.

(From Dr. Stan Kegel's Groaners Digest

Comments :

===========  This week's Stress Reliever  ==============

In this section whenever I can I'll give you the url to a page
which had me laughing and rolling on the floor.

How did that relieve stress you ask ?

I have no idea, it could have been sucked away by gravity,
or the lack of it !

Without further ado here's this weeks...


(Thanks Dr. Stan Kegel)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:


I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

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