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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
---------------------------------------------

Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
29th January  2003    #     Issue 96
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time."
~ Charlie Brown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                                                  ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                   ~ Eva
_____________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

Ideas to ponder over .... and Discuss
                                ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip (You can do Magic)
                                   ~ from Tom Antion

NEW DISCUSSIONS

Interesting Mail
               ~ Gunjan

The Doctor always wins ?!
               ~ Gunjan

Our Greatest Fears
               ~ Gunjan

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR

THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------

Dear Laughmates,

It's been a nice week with some really different mails.
First I got a mail from Ari who wanted to get in touch
with Arik to discuss a toastmasters club in Israel. (It
was nice to know people do go through our archives.
Its the motivation I needed to ensure that our archives
are upto date)

Second I got the most amazingly different mail. It's
reproduced in it's entirety in the first of the new
discussions posts.

I got a mail from The Doc which leads naturally to
the 'Our greatest fears' post and I got quite a few
letters asking about Stephanie's New Thought
Marketing group that I mentioned last week. I replied
that it was a top secret group and I would tell them
how to join it only if they were willing to bribe me.
Made a nice little bundle in the bargain !
(Ok... Ok .... I'm kidding. I'm sorry I forgot to
include it last time. To subscribe all you have to
do is send a blank email to e-mail to
NTMarket-subscribe@yahoogroups.com )

Time for you to stop listening to my rambling and go ahead
with the rest of I-Laugh #96

(Notice, all you people who wrote in, that I haven't picked on
 Eva this week. Hope you're happy now ! ;~)

With best wishes,
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
--------------------------------------
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

P

P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com


Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments

----------
The Other Moderator's Comment
----------

Dear LaughMates,

Rambling, rambling, reading Gunjan's quips,
sitting here, thinking about my next set of tax tips.

I want to tell you about the times we laughed last week.
But, getting older, my poor mind can't find the memories I seek.

So let me share with you one secret that I learned this year.
The way to grow your business to try to shut it down, you hear?

I've never had so many new clients, referrals and work,
As since I've tried to cut it back, and my work to shirk!


OK, enough rhyme.

Seriously, though, this is the most amazing thing. Here I sit,
having sold off only a third of my tax practice, with the idea
that all new business will be referred to my old partner or to
other appropriate professionals. All I want to do is to be able
to concentrate on writing. Yet, not only do I keep getting
new clients, but old clients who drifted away are suddenly
wanting to come back. And no, they won't settle for being sent
to someone else who's just as good.

The only way I seem to lose anyone is death.
Sadly, a young girl called yesterday, oh so apologetically,
to tell me that her father won't be making the appointment
we'd pre-scheduled for him. "He was always talking about Eva
with such affection. While We've never met, my family feels
they know you!"  Now THIS is branding. Sigh. I'll miss him.

How did I get in so deep? How can you put yourself into this
untenable position?

1) Love your customers and clients. Really,don't just fake it.

2) LISTEN to them. No one else does. You'll be unique in your field.

3) If you're wrong, or you've made a mistake - apologize.

4) Honor your commitments. If you can't, let them know - in time.

5) Charge fair prices. (That may be a little more than you charge
right now. They'll be happy to pay - just to keep you in business.)

What do you do that keep clients totally loyal to you?
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Loyal

And on that note...I'm off to do more tax returns!


Your Comic Guide,

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com   - 4 Secrets to Happy Tax Returns
http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/prod.aspx?p=supertaxmama.2512425
Online Gambling Tax Mysteries
http://ebookad.com/eb.php3?ebookid=15045

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=====  CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========

===> Ideas to ponder over .... and Discuss

The Doc was the only one who attempted to guess
where the following extract is from. Unfortunately he
got it quite wrong.

The Extract
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark Twain said in his 'Disappearance of Literature speech,
in 1900' - "A classic is something that everybody wants to
have read and nobody wants to read."

Now see the advantage of being a Laughmate. You can quote
lines from John Milton's - 'Paradise Lost' without taking the
trouble of reading it. ;-) To be honest with you I haven't read
Paradise Lost myself. I've been reading a book by Indian
poet K.D Sethna titled 'The inspiration of Paradise Lost' and that's
where I discovered these lines (Of course I double checked that
the lines are there in 'Paradise Lost' before using it here.)

BTW I'm curious. How many Laughmates have read Paradise Lost ?
Not an extract from it in school or something, but the entire work!

Would you please drop me a line here ....

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=read

On another front are you enjoying this extract game,
or would you rather that I reveal from the start from
where the extract is? Would you like more clues that
help to identify the extract ? Any other suggestions.

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=extractgame

Gunjan

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=== > Speaking Tip

Give Me a Brake
by Tom Antion

 . . . a mental brake that is. Here are some mind tricks when
you speak too fast.

Imagine that your audience is comprised of 5 year olds and
you have to explain some difficult concept to them. You must
obviously go slowly so they can understand you.

Force yourself to use difficult word combinations which will
force you to slow down so that you don*t stutter over them.

Do specific practice sessions concentrating on varying the
speed of your delivery so that you get a better control over
this aspect of your talks. Also, varying the speed makes you
more interesting automatically. You must do these practice
sessions out loud. To save time, they can be done in the car,
or while doing your hair or jogging, etc.

Cut out some of your material so that you do not feel rushed
to get it all in. Going faster is usually futile because the
retention level drops so low that you may as well have
omitted the material in the first place.

from Tom Antion's Great Speaking Newsletter

You can subscribe FREE to Tom's newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

==========  NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========

====>  Interesting Mail

Hi Laughmates,

As I mentioned earlier I received this most interesting mail.
It reads....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LET'S PLAY A GAME.


IT'S CALLED "PRETEND YOU'RE DEAD".


I'LL GO FIRST.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's it. Exactly. No signature. Typed in all caps just
the way I've reproduced it. Now being the fair game
that I am I went next and pretended I'm dead too so
naturally I couldn't reply ... nor I have I heard from him
again.

Anyone have any idea how this game ends ? Was my move
correct? How does one decide the winner ? How can we
get spammers to start playing this game ? If I hear from this
person again should I be scared ??? And most importantly how
many of my 20 questions have I used up already ? ;-)

Best,
Gunjan

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=playingdead

===> The Doctor always wins !

Hi Laughmates,

(You wouldn't believe from the title but this post has
nothing to do with Jewish Mothers)

Here's a joke to which the great pediatrician & punster
Dr Stan Kegel added the last punchline.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly Jewish man has just moved to a new town, when he is
taken ill and decides that he needs to see a doctor. In the waiting
room at the office, he tries to find out a bit about the doctor. He
asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor is a specialist.
The man replies that the doctor specializes in everything.
The Jewish man thinks about this and looks nervous. He asks the
man if the doctor's fees are expensive.

The man says: "Well, he is and he isn't. You see, he charges you
one thousand dollars for your first visit."

The Jewish man looks even more worried now and exclaims in
amazement, "A t'ousand dollars?"

The man replies, "Yes, but all your visits after that for the rest of
your life are free!"

The Jewish man thinks about this, and then gets called by the nurse
to go in to see the doctor.

On entering the doctor's office he says casually, "Hello doctor, here I
am again!"

The doctor examines him and takes him back into his office. He says,
"You are doing just fine. Keep following the instructions I gave you
last visit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's depressing isn't it how the Doctor always wins ! ;-)

~ Gunjan

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Doctors

===> Greatest Fears !

Hi Laughmates,

The Doc sent me a message reading ....

"I bet ya' didn't know...
Public speaking ranked second, behind snakes, in a recent
Gallup poll of our greatest fears.

Can this be true ? What happened to "We have nothing to fear
but the sky falling on our heads ? " ;-) Is this fear of public speaking
true with Laughmates too ?

Come on let's have on our own little Laughmate Poll.

Rank the following fears in the order that they terrify you
most .....

1) Mother-in-Law might shift in with you
2) Bush might win the elections again
3) Down will come a spider and sit down beside yer ...
4) Public Speaking
5) Any others (Please specify)

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=GreatFearPoll

~ Gunjan

Any other comments on this subject -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=GreatestFear

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)
http://snurl.com/click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

===========  This week's Humor ==============

Smart Thinking

A university Math professor had to compose an exam to
give his students at the end of the year. He was a bit lazy,
so he set the following exam:

----------
"Compose a math examination suitable for students to
sit, and solve all questions giving suitable examples."
----------

That was all. He handed out the exam to his students and
gave them three hours to complete it. However, after just a
couple of minutes one student stood up, handed in his paper
and left the room.

That student got an "A". But how?

Here's what the student wrote:

Question.

Compose a math examination suitable for students to
sit, and solve all questions giving suitable examples.

Answer:

Compose a math examination suitable for students to
sit, and solve all questions giving suitable examples.

So if the professor didn't give him good marks he would
be admitting that he hadn't set a good paper either !
Smart Thinking !?!

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

===========  This week's Stress Reliever  ==============

I think I'm going to have to discontinue this section. I'm spending
toooooooooo much time at these fun sites. I spent hours on this
one. (I hope Uncle Joe isn't reading this! ;-)

http://www.pianoladynancy.com/lissajous/laser_show.htm

(Thanks Dianne)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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