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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
---------------------------------------------

Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19th March  2003    #     Issue 103
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Evolution is a fairy tale for grownups.
~ Dr. Louis Bounoure
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                                                        ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                         ~ Eva
_____________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

Humor and Observation
                             ~ The Doc

Help with Quote
                             ~ The Doc
                             ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip
                                ~ from Tom Antion

IDEAS TO PONDER AND DISCUSS

Guess
                                 ~ The Doc

Does evolution make God disappear in a puff of smoke ?
                                 ~ Gunjan

NEW DISCUSSIONS

Little touches add Class
                            ~ Gunjan

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR

THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
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Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------

Dear Laughmates,

Heard the Clipper Beer can tale which sounds like a fairy tale but isn't?

This lady while remodeling a house found a Clipper Beer can dated 1941. She tucked it away. A few months back she decided to get rid of it and put it up for auction on ebay.

Before listing it she did a bit of research and found another entry for a 1930's beer can and so she made her entry in a similar style. She completed her task at night and went to bed hoping that somebody would bid atleast 15-20 dollars for it.

Next morning she was woken by a call from a friend, who told her that bids had crossed the 1000 dollar mark for her beer can. If you think that's unbelievable, guess how much it sold for?

What am I doing wasting time telling these 19000 dollar stories? I have to go clean my attic, my cellar, my garage, my ......... If you decide you should be doing the same right now first do get signed up with ebay. You can use my affiliate link to sign up...
[Don't worry, they won't share a percentage of your $19000 with me if you sign up through me! ;-( ]

http://www.qksrv.net/click-694126-2202641

For those of you with already clean attics and cellars... Hard Luck ! Try to cheer yourself up with I-Laugh #103.

[BTW - In case you want to read the full story of the
Clipper Beer Can, here's the link...
http://pages.ebay.com/community/chatter/2003Feb/Sub2.html ]


With best wishes,
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
--------------------------------------
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

P

P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com


Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments

----------
The Other Moderator's Comment
----------

Dear LaughMates

And if that gets you excited, some of you are old enough to remember a comic book series called, The  Junior Illustrated Classics. There were dozens of comic books, back in the '50's (yes, that's 1950's) containing stories from H.G. Wells, Charles Dickens, Edgar Allen Poe, Frank Buck, James Fenimore Cooper, Robert Louis Stevenson, you get the idea - from all the great writers.

Well, my brothers and their friends collected these comics. They competed and fought over them just like did over their baseball cards.

And by the time we left Montreal, my brother had managed to score a FULL set of the entire collection, including The Greatest Story Ever Told.  Just think what THAT would be worth today!

Oh yeah. He left in my cousin's safekeeping. All the comic books had disappeared waaaay back by 1970. He nearly cried when he found out.

To heck with their value as a collector's item. For me they were invaluable. That's how I learned English. That's how I really learned to read. And that's how I fell in love with the really fabulous authors and stories - the French, Russians,  British,
Americans, even Rudyard Kipling, and Mark Twain.

Better than Cliff's notes - when I found out there were real, full-length books with these stories in them, I was bowled over. No kidding  - the comic book authors wrote books, too?

They just laughed at me. But you couldn't  keep me away. By the time I was 10, I'd read every one of those books I could lay a hand on.

My heart still beats too quickly when I think of Poe's Tell-Tale Heart. I laugh when I remember how Tom Sawyer outwitted his friends into getting them to beg him to paint that fence. And I still wonder about the Woman in White.

So, yeah collector's items can have real value. To someone. Even if we never lay a hand on them. At least we have memories.

What do you remember powerfully?
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=CollectorsMemories

Actually, I am getting the same kick I used to get from those
comics from those CDs I got last week from Celestial Navigation.
http://taxmama.com/Reviews/Celest.html

There's this story about a Dwarf that you think will lead
you to the Hunchback of Notre Dame...and instead it leads to
... well, I won't tell you. But it totally took me by surprise.


Your Comic Guide,

Eva Rosenberg
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=====  CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========

===> Humor and Observation

Gunjan,

> It runs on the principal that you can't see that you have
> flies in your eyes because you have flies in your eyes !;)

While you deal with that little problem, I'd be happy to find a Hyundai dealer somewhere if you would be willing to lend me your wife to use for a test drive.  By the way, just what is it about her that I am supposed to be testing?  And, just for
safety's sake, could you see that she has a belt installed? For all I know, this could be a wild ride that needs testing.

~ The Doc
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humorandobservation

===> Quote Help

"Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?"

I have the book sitting within reach of where I am now seated, but I am loathe to search for a line "something like" the one you cite.  I feel reasonably assured that, could Heller respond, he would say something like, "I always didn't say that."  And, were I to grab that bundle of paper called Catch-22, I would be sidetracked and sidesplit for the rest of the morning as I wandered around that most marvelous garden of tangents to ever make sense.

~ The Doc
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=quote


===> Quote Help

"There were many officers' clubs that Yossarian had not helped to build,
but he was proudest of the one on Pinosa."

There are many quotes that I haven't found yet, unfortunately... but I'm still looking. Here's the proof -
http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/catch22.shtml

I should have that complete by next week !

~ Gunjan

mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=quote

=== > Speaking Tip

SIGNS by Tom Antion

I run across funny signs all the time. I try to take a mental note or take a picture of the sign for later use. John Jay Daly, a speaker friend of mine, does a hysterical slide presentation called "The Wacky, Wonderful World of Washington." Many of the
slides are of signs that he has seen around Washington, D.C. My favorite is a sign that says,

"IN CASE OF NUCLEAR ATTACK, THE BAN ON SCHOOL PRAYER WILL BE LIFTED."

Another slide has a brass plaque on the front of a large building that says,

"ALL DELIVERIES GO TO REAR OF BUILDING."

The next slide is the brass plaque on the back of the same building that says, "NO DELIVERIES."

You can have lots of fun with signs. I just showed you two ways you can use them. In the last paragraph, I told you about the signs my friend uses in his slide presentation. That's one way. The second way is to actually show them, as my friend does, by means of projection. A third way is to have the sign or signs with you and hold them up. I just attended a Meeting Planners International function where the presenter had his own applause sign. Everyone applauded on cue and had a good laugh because of it.

PHOTOGRAPHIC TIP: When taking pictures or slides of funny signs, always fill the photographic frame up completely with the sign. The impact of the sign is much greater when you do this -- see sample http://www.antion.com/visualsample.htm

Some of my favorite signs:

=> At a hospital in Prince Georges County, Maryland: Hospital Policy is to refuse service to hospital patients. (This was posted at the snack bar.)

=> On church marquee: Honey I Shrunk the Sermon

=> On door of small restaurant: Out to lunch

=> Sign in front of bankrupt store: We Undersold Everybody.

These English language signs were seen outside the United States:

=> Advertisement for a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by latest methodists.

=> Somewhere in an elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

=> 1936 French sign: Don't kill your wife with work, let electricity do it.

=> In a Bangkok drycleaner's window: Drop your trousers here for best results.

=> Please leave your values at the front desk. (France)

=> You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. (Japan)

=> Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. (Switzerland)

Keep your eye out for funny signs so that you can tell your audiences about them or show them.

Here's my favorite sign of all time from a hotel in Acapulco, Mexico:

The manager has personally passed all water served here.

(From Tom Antion's Great Speaking Newsletter)

You can subscribe FREE to Tom's newsletter 'Great Speaking' To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

=====  IDEAS TO PONDER AND DISCUSS ========

===> Guess

She said the Serpent informed her that "chestnut" was a figurative term meaning an aged and moldy joke. I turned pale at that, for I have made many jokes to pass the weary time, and some of them could have been of that sort. though I had honestly supposed that they were new when I made them. She asked me if I had made one
just at the time of the catastrophe. I was obliged to admit that I had made one to myself, though not aloud. It was this. I was thinking about the Falls, and I said to myself, "How wonderful it is to see that vast body of water tumble down there!" Then in an instant a bright thought flashed into my head, and I let it fly, saying, "It would be a deal more wonderful to see it tumble UP there!" and I was just about to kill myself with laughing at it when all nature broke loose in war and death and I had to flee for my life. "There," she said, with triumph, "that is just it; the Serpent mentioned that very jest, and called it the First Chestnut, and said it was coeval with the creation." Alas, I am indeed to blame. Would that I were not witty; oh, that I had never had that radiant thought!

This gives a new twist to "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire," doesn't it now?  It also makes one wonder whether that creature, so willfully named "Cain," would have been better named, "Gunjan," for from him we certainly have a bag chock-full of chestnuts that must be the sole reason the disasters have continued since Adam' ordered Eve to cover herself up like a decent person.  Yes, the Jest and Creation do not seem to find a way to coexist without great dispute, and it appears it will remain so, because, as 'tis said, "Never the Twain shall meet."

I guess that the Chestnut, like so many groaners, must have originated in the Garden of Eden, and be with us thus evermore.  Sigh.

~ The Doc
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

Moderator's Comment - In case you're not signed up with Jest in Literature and couldn't decipher The Doc's style ... he has just told us that the passage had something to do with Adam and Eve and is written by Mark Twain. He is absolutely
right. The passage was from The Diaries of Adam and Eve by Mark Twain.

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Chestnuts

===> Does evolution make God disappear in a puff of smoke ?

Many people feel that if you believe in the Theory of Evolution then you just can't believe in God. ( A person I know quit medical college cause they taught evolution there and it always caused him gastroentitis).

Here's how I look at the whole dispute...

If you were to create a robot in your own image and someday it started acting like George W Bush does today... would you go around bragging that you created it ? The God I believe in, is not just omnipotent but very smart too. He anticipated millions of years back that something like this would surely happen sooner or later.
Now suppose, He made up His mind that a creature of this sort would be good entertainment but He'd be damned if He would take the blame for it, then He had a problem on His hands, didn't He?

So what was the solution ?

Those of you who have read Agatha Christie's - Curtain (Hercule Poirot's last case) will remember Christie's Perfect Murderer ... who could never be proved guilty cause he didn't commit any murders himself. He incited others to commit the murders that he wanted done.

God being atleast as smart as the Perfect Murderer could easily have set up the whole Evolutionary Process rather than having to do all the dirty work of Creation by hand. (I'm sure the idea appealed to His lazy side too! ;-)

So now, He smiles when He hears a Yossarian saying ... "How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatalogical mind of His when He robbed old
people of the power to control their bowel movements? Why in the world did He ever create pain?"

If he felt like answering He'd probably say - "Hey, I had nothing to do with it, remember! Haven't you read your Darwin or your Dawkins ?" and then He'd have a mighty good laugh.

(For those of you concerned with details like Creation in 6 days etc... there wasn't any mention of 6 'man'days ... was there ?)

~ Gunjan

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=SmartGod


[ The books that have contributed to this discussion are...

The Selfish Gene - http://snurl.com/sgene
The Diaries of Adam and Eve - http://snurl.com/diaries
Curtain - http://snurl.com/curtain ]


=========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========

===> Little touches add Class

Hi Laughmates,

John Counsel the moderator for I-Sales has just announced a Free Seminar for the I-Sales Community. Naturally, I followed the link to sign up.

First, I looked at the timings. Normally, the timings for any of these things are given in one of the US time zone times and I need to pull out my calculator, my atlas, push my little brain, and figure out when that would in India time.

John however always does things in style...

If you go to
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedform.html
you can type in the time of your seminar/meeting/date/whatever, specify your time zone and you get a url which will give you that time in about 140 cities around the world.

Unfortunately the url looks something like
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/fixedtime.html?day=18&month=3&year=200
3&hour=19&min=0&sec=0&p1=1046.
But paste in snipurl.com or a similar service (I think John used
tinyurl) and you get something like ...
http://snurl.com/tandd

Now isn't that neat and extremely helpful ? I certainly think so.

~ Gunjan

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=class

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
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interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)
http://snurl.com/click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

===========  This week's Humor ==============

This tale has bounced all around the internet the last year. Lowrie Beacham tell us, "This is an old one, but so inspiring I thought it deserved another round..."

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full?

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He then asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous - yes.

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar - effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that
matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "There is no room for the pebbles or the rocks."

"The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of
the rocks first-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

(From Dr. Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners)

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

===========  This week's Stress Reliever  ==============

http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/

(Thanks Dianne)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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