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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

16th April  2003    #     Issue 107
Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.
--Japanese Proverb


Moderator's Comment -
                                            ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                            ~ Eva


Match Fixing
                        ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip
                                    ~ from Tom Antion


Smart God
              ~ thedoc


Business Plans and Analogies
                                ~ Gunjan



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Moderator's Comments

Dear Laughmates,

A long time back I read about a little episode. I'm
not sure where I read it so I'll blame it on Reader's Digest.

It was about an irate customer, upset with the service
he received from a company, sending off a nasty and
rude complaint letter. He was surprised a few days
later when he received a reply from the company.

Moreover the letter was most sweet and respectful and by
the time the customer got to the bottom of the letter not only
was he placated but was in fact starting to feel sorry that
he had written such a nasty letter to such nice folks.

However, he spied a little memo attached to the letter,
so he turned the page and went through the attachment.
It was the internal memo from the boss to the clerk and
read "Send the S.O.B standard reply 73 A."

Now imagine for a moment that this was being sent by
electronic mail and a copy of whatever he sent out would
come back to the clerk and to the manager. Can you
suggest a little hole where the clerk should hide till the
storm blows over ! ;-)

That was just my nutty way of apologizing for forgetting
to delete Eva's message from the top of last week's
issue of I-Laugh. I see it distracted so many of you that
I didn't receive a single post.

C'est la vie. Which reminds me, I'm off to Pondicherry for
a couple of days but will be back in time to send out
I-Laugh #107. (If I bump into any Frenchmen I will pass
on all my American friends' warm best wishes to them !;)

With best wishes,
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates

Whew, thank goodness I didn't say anything nasty
in that private note....But, if any of you had noticed,
we had planned to call it an April Fool's joke.

And the worst April Fool's joke? I played it on myself
this last week.

After all the troubles with our server being constantly and
repeatedly down all during tax season, we finally moved
the TaxMama site. (The last straw was when I got a
call from CNN last Friday to book me on a TV interview
for Monday - and the site was gone when I got off the
phone.) So we brought the new site live on Sunday.

And that same day, since some of the URLs weren't
forwarding properly (the entire database of previous issues
goes to a URL with taxmamma.com instead of taxmama.com
- note the double m's) I played with the DNS codes in

It's SO wonderful to be able to do that myself and not have to
wait for my registrar to do these things. I can mess things up
SOOOOOOOoooo much faster.

Well, I woke up on April 15th (for you foreigners, this is
THE tax filing deadline, when everyone runs around in a
panic trying to complete their tax returns at the last
minute, or file an extension - and they need access to good
information NOW), the site was gone.

AND I couldn't get my e-mail. It wouldn't connect to the server.
(I didn't know why, until I saw the site was gone.)

The screen said - home of a future Dotster site.

People who know how to reach me - via my personal e-mail
(which I rarely use), or using e-mail from other sites, like
PhotoMasterpieces.com, found ways to send me anxious
notes asking if I had shut down the site.

To all of you who did, THANKS. I really appreciate your

Aaahhh....what a fitting way to end Tax Season, phase I !

Don't worry, we have two, or three more filing deadlines,
for those with personal and corporate extensions. I'll have
more opportunities to embarrass myself this year.

What have you done to really embarrass yourself...that you
are now willing to reveal?


Your Comic Guide,

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com - 4 Secrets to Happy Tax Returns

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===> Match Fixing

Uncle Joe,

 > The winner turned out to be a rather scruffy and gangly teenager.
 > My boss was rather disturbed by this. "Why didn't you arrange a
 > more suitable winner?" he asked. Tell me. Had he instructed me
 > beforehand to 'arrange the winner' should I have done so?

The way I look at it, fixing winners from before can be disastrous
for the company, as sooner or later, news does leek out and the
company loses credibility. I would therefore have advised and
pleaded with my boss not to do something like this. (Or as
Sir Humphrey would say ... "If you have to do such a stupid thing,
at least don't do it in such a stupid way.")

But if the company was set on doing it and ignored my advice, I'd have
gone ahead and done it for them. I would have also carried on working
with them as if nothing had happened and remained in the bosses
good books, but over the next 3-4 months found alternate
employment (with help from the bosses favourable recommendation)
as I wouldn't like to be seen in brainless company (pardon the pun).

  ~ Gunjan

Comments  -

=== > Speaking Tip

Speaker Humor from various issues of Great Speaking...

=>As I said before, I never repeat myself.

=>A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.

=> A closed mouth gathers no feet.

=> Sign in a bakery,
     "Cake's 66 cents, Upside down cakes 99 cents."

=> Sign at a filling station / restaurant, "Eat here. Get gas."

=> Last week I got a $5000 home improvement loan from my bank.
I'm sending the kids to college.

=> I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been
giving me lately!

=> I love being married. It's so great to find that one special
person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

From Tom Antion's newsletter 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]


Comments or if have you a tip to share -


===> Smart God

To Willem: No, I'm not game. If I were, I'm sure someone would
start a season on me and shoot me. Thanks for the offer though.

And to David, the Happy Guy, first I enjoyed visiting your site. You
have invested an obvious amount of time, effort and spirit in it. I hope
you get many more visitors. In reference to your comment that I have
it wrong and that seeds create plants and not the other way around, I
admit that I am often wrong, and therefore I am usually reluctant to
guarantee anything, but in this case, I can guarantee that is exactly
what I said.  But, I'm not sure it is right.

Of course, the bit I wrote was directed to a site that juggles humor
into working situations, and tries to take a bit of the edge off things.
Sometimes, I just get this tingly urge to join in and yuck it up a bit
myself. Satire is a delicate thing to use incisively, so excuse me if I
accidently cut anyone with a dull blade. I, like Willem, would hope
for open mindedness, but not as the result of splitting someone's noggin.

(god told me not to use capital letters)

[Moderator's Comment - In case you missed out David's site
last week, but would like a peek now ...
http://TheHappyGuy.com ]


=========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========

===> Business plans and Analogies ?

Recently an issue of Bob Osgoodby's Internet
Tip of the Week Newsletter had an article which
started with the following paragraph ...

"We hear it said that in order to be in business, you must have a
Business Plan, and this is true. Without one, you are like a
person in a dark room trying to find something. Eventually, you
may stumble across it, but how much time did you waste in the
process? If you had turned on the lights, the odds are you would
have found it a lot faster."

To my silly humorist head the immediate picture which flashed was
of a tiny dark room with a huge elephant inside and a person sliding
around the room trying to find the light switch instead of just reaching
out to check if his darling Jumbo was in the room or not.

On more analytical thinking I can think of several other instances
where searching for the light switch would be the stupider option
(or the greater waste of time.)

1. If you are a blind person.
2. If you are a midget and know that light switches are normally
     beyond your reach.
3. If you know the room so well that you can navigate around it
     comfortably in the dark.
4. If you are searching for a diamond and you can hear 5 other
     people searching for it too. (Would you scramble in the dark
     or be the gentleman that goes for the light switch?)
5. If the object you're searching for can answer you. (Wouldn't it
     even faster to just call out where it is in that case?)

I'm sure you can come up with more instances. But can these
instances be worked backwards to the business area to show
that sometimes taking the time to make a business plan makes
no sense at all ? Whadya think ?

~ Gunjan

Comments  -

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electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)

===========  This week's Humor ==============

Did you hear about the Nihonjin guy who was working for this
Hakujin guy in Los Angeles who would constantly put him down?
All the Nihonjin guy would do when he was insulted, would be to
bow and say, "This morning, every morning."

Again, a put down, and again "This morning every morning."

This went on week after week and a Nisei guy who was watching,
got sick and tired of it and went to the Nihonjin guy and berated him,
saying, "That Hakujin guy is insulting you and all you do is bow and
say 'This morning, every morning.' Why don't you talk back?

The Nihonjin guy said, "I am talking back."

The Nisei asked incredulously, "You're talking back? Where do
you get that?" The Nihonjin said, "I'm talking American, but I'm
thinking Japanese."

The Nisei asks, "What do you mean by that?"

The Nihonjin says, "How do you say 'This morning' in Japanese?

The Nisei thought, and finally answered, "Kessa".

Then the Japanese asked, "How do you say 'Every morning' in

The Nisei answered, "Mai assa".

The Japanese answered, "Well".

(From Dr. Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners )

Comments :

===========  This week's Stress Reliever  ==============

is right here !!

Copyright; Randy Thomas

I've found a perfect, foolproof way
of having just a perfect day
With no harsh word or unkind deed
to keep me from the peace I need

I never fear a traffic jam
or folks who aren't kind...as I am
No rain or sleet to soil my shoes
nor cloudy days to bring the blues

No harsh concerns can furl my brow
because I have the answer now
To keep all worries from my head
I simply don't get out of bed!

(Thanks Dianne)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:


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