I-Laugh Archives
Your Working Humor Discussion List
..................................
I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
---------------------------------------------
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com
Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com
http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
21st May 2003 # Issue 112
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Racial prejudice is a terrible thing, Yossarian. It really is.
It's a terrible thing to treat a decent, loyal Indian like a nigger,
kike wop or spic.
~ From Joseph Heller's Catch 22
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IN THIS DIGEST :
Moderator's Comment -
~ Gunjan
The Other Moderator's Comment
~ Eva
_____________________
CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS
LOLurl
~ The Doc
Speaking Tip
~ from Tom Antion
IDEAS TO PONDER AND DISCUSS
New Extract
NEW DISCUSSIONS
Vive la Patriotism
~ Gunjan
THIS WEEK'S HUMOR
THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
---------------- SPONSOR MESSAGE -----------------
"NEED INK?... It's NO 'Laughing' matter when ya run out!"
Worse yet, Paying RETAIL prices! SAVE Up TO 80%!....
High Quality Ink Jet Cartridges, Refill Kits and JetPak
pre-paid Mailers... Satisfaction IS Guaranteed!
(Psst -our newsletter subscribers always get a 10% discount)
http://www.MaxPatchInk.com?laugh
---------- Please Support Our Kind Sponsor ---------
Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------
Dear Laughmates,
Let's see if I can cause a FLUtter with this issue. Even
if I have to play a harp or a FLUte to get your attention.
Of course my FLUence is not at its best so there's a good
chance I may FLUnk. If you're FLUmmoxed with what
I'm trying to say with this FLUff take a FLUid guess.
You might FLUke the right answer.
On another front 3 Laughmates bought the kids alarm clock
last week. (http://snurl.com/nottoy)
Wonder if one of them was
our esteemed moderator and whether it really matches with her
patterned rug.
And now, without further ado, here's I-Laugh #112.
With best wishes,
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
--------------------------------------
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com
P
P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com
Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments
----------
The Other Moderator's Comment
----------
Dear LaughMates,
Read in Al Tompkins Morning Meeting yesterday:
"One week ago today, an Alaska man pleaded not guilty to
murder charges stemming from a fatal crash. The 28-year-old
man is facing four charges of second-degree murder in the killing
of an Anchorage couple. Troopers say he was watching a movie
on a DVD player installed in his dashboard when the crash occurred."
Lulu, my assistant said that she had been driving along one day and
saw a car with, count them FOUR, four screens on, including one
that the driver was watching.
Al goes on to list other activities people engage in while driving, and
I add things I've seen - shaving, make-up, tying ties, getting
dressed,
drinking hot beverages, reading books or newspapers, changing
channels while in fast traffic,...
Do people turn off their brains when they get behind a steering wheel,
or what?
The Atlanta Journal Constitution has a forum for you to add the things
you've seen. (Now, don't admit you did any of them. I am sure you are
waaay too classy to ever endanger anyone this way.)
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/gwinnett/opinion/distracted_forum.htm
l
Watching all this, or reading about drivers antics are really funny -
until someone dies.
Any Comments?
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=DrivingCrazy
So, for today...laugh - until you cry.
Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com -Where taxes are fun!
NEW! Start 10 Businesses Online Without Spending a Dime
http://www.1automationwiz.com/app/aftrack.asp?AFID=78247
--------------- SPONSOR MESSAGE -----------------
Internet solutions customized precisely to your
needs so you sell more, work smarter, grow faster.
> design | multimedia | eCommerce | database <
> > hosting | CRM | marketing | promotion
<<
Contact us today for a free strategic consultation.
mailto:info@ikestrel.com
http://www.ikestrel.com
---------- Please Support Our Kind Sponsor ---------
===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========
=== > LOLurl
I have had a Toys-R-Us alarm clock for years, and I am perpetually
late. The fact that you carried the ad for the one they now stock is
living proof that one never knows where he will find help. Who
would have thought that the solution to my alarm clock malady
would be found in the pages of WorkingHumor? But, there it was.
As soon as I followed your advice, scrolled down, and saw the
manufacturer's age, I ran to my clock, turned it over, and just as
sure as god made little green apples, there it was. I had been
suckered into buying what was perhaps an alpha or beta version
of the clock, because the manufacturer of my clock is listed as
being only three years old. That sure explains a lot.
The Doc
Enjoy Literature with ...
Jest in Literature (A) -
lit-subscribe@topica.com
Any Comments on this little exercise -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Lolurl
=== > Speaking Tip
Fun Openings ...
Thank you for that wonderful introduction that I so richly
deserve
and so seldom get.
I won't speak too long today because of my throat. . . .
Actually
[substitute name of chairperson] threatened to
cut it if I went too
long.
I asked your chairperson what I should speak about. He said,
"About 20 minutes."
I'm always a little intimidated by a microphone. Of course, a
microphone
never made a fool of anyone. It only shows them
up.
Groucho Marx said, "Before I speak, I have something
important to say."
Many of you may be wondering why I'm here. . . . I'm wondering
about
that myself.
I feel like I felt on my wedding night. As I said to my
wife/husband, "I
am
very warm and very nervous . . . but I'm glad to
be here."
[Insert name of someone you want to tease] called me three
times to do
this banquet. On the third time . . . I accepted
the charges.
Mark Twain said, "A man can live a month on one
compliment." [Insert
name of introducer] has just assured my
immortality.
Adlai Stevenson said, "Praise is like perfume . . . it's
all right to
smell as
long as you don't swallow it."
I'm here free of charge tonight and by the time I'm done I
think you'll
agree I was worth every penny of it.
from Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up
Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup]
Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]
http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606
Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips
===== IDEAS TO PONDER AND DISCUSS ========
This week's extract...
In sharp contrast, there was a large operations group on
the third floor that was often the topic of conversation for
the opposite reason. Words like unresponsive, entitlement,
zombie, unpleasant, slow, wasteland and negative were
used frequently to describe this group. It was the group
everyone loved to hate. Unfortunately for the company,
nearly every department needed to interact with the third floor
since they processed most of First Guarantee's transactions.
Everyone dreaded any contact with the operations group.
Supervisors swapped stories about the latest fiasco on the
third floor. Those who visited the third floor described it
as a place so dead that it sucked the life right out of you.
Mary Jane remembered the laughter when one of the other
managers said that he deserved a Nobel Prize. When she
asked what he meant, he said, "I think I may have discovered
life on the third floor." Everyone roared.
~~~~~~~~~~~
This extract is from a recent book. If you have read it
you shouldn't have to guess but should know from which
book it is. If you can't identify it, then get your credit card
out in your hand and wait for the next issue of I-Laugh.
As soon as I tell you which book it is ... rush over to the
url and grab your copy ! ;-) Kidding aside, it IS a
fantastic book.
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=guess
Have you ever had the experience of working in a place
like the one described in the extract above?
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=wasteland
~ Gunjan
=========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========
===> Vive la Patriotism
If you've been on the net for some time you must have
heard of Anu Garg and his AWAD (A word a day).
Personally I enjoy it through Chris and Dan's -
Partners-in-rhyme which uses Anu's words and additional
limericks that we cook up about the word for the day.
I always knew that Anu does a fantastic job with research,
gives you links to some really interesting sites and I love his
choice of words but watching him handle this delicate situation
was a real treat...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a recent week of words from law, where many of the
words are of French origin, I received this email from a reader:
"I propose you no longer feature words which have a base
or stem from the French language. I no longer see that as a
positive e-mail."
In these times when emotions run high, it's understandable why
someone would say that, why US lawmakers would rename
French fries and French toast in their cafeteria menus. Or why
some German professors think they need to exclude English terms
from their vocabulary.
This is not the first time linguistic revisionism is being attempted.
During
World War I, in the US, some had tried to rename sauerkraut as
"liberty cabbage", for example. But we're all so interconnected,
as
are our languages, that any such attempt quickly falls flat on its face.
"Freedom fries" they say? Well, there's still some French
remaining,
as the word fry comes from Old French frire. "Freedom toast"?
What about toast which comes from Middle French toster. Thinking
along these lines, we may even have to rename the US (from Old
French estat). Estimates vary, but one-quarter or more of words
in the English language have a French influence. In the two lines that
the above-mentioned reader sent us, at least six words have French
connections (propose, feature, base, language, positive, mail).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I bet the reader who sent in that note wouldn't have the
'Patriotism' to research and rewrite his note without
French influence. What d'ya think, would he ?
~ Gunjan
Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Patriotism
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion
A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.
Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.
Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)
http://snurl.com/click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=========== This week's Humor ==============
Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a
new computer. The training officer said the computer was able
to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks.
Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee
and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room!
You'll have to get rid of that coffee."
The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?"
"Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard."
(From Jo-Lene's Daily Humor)
Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor
=========== This week's Stress Reliever ==============
You've got to check this out ...
http://www.mamarocks.com/history_of_medicine.htm
(Thanks Dianne)
Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I
I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com
Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh :
http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml
FAQ, Information & Archives at our website,
http://workinghumor.com
© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg
YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh
electronically free of charge, under the following
conditions:
First: The author of the piece receives full credit,
with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact
Second: The following byline is included.
"This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh,
Your Working Humor Discussion List.
http://www.workinghumor.com
© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "
However, if you are getting paid for your publication
(it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to
contact us to arrange a payment to us for the material
you are using.
A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..
|
Home
I -Laugh
Info for Newbies
Submission Guidelines
Archives
Articles Index
Advertise

Business Cartoons

Business Cartoons
Resources
Selling Humor
Professional Humor
Medical Humor
Educational Humor
Military Humor
Advertising Humor
If you've had enough 'Serious' Humor relax in our 'pun' zone -
Jest For Pun
About Us
Contact Us
What's New ?!
Humorous Quotes
about Italy / Italians
Click Here
|