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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com
Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com
http://workinghumor.com
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28th May 2003 # Issue 113
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Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair
that some men should be happier than others.
~ Oscar Wilde
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IN THIS DIGEST :
Moderator's Comment -
~ Gunjan
The Other Moderator's Comment
~ Eva
_____________________
CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS
Evolution/Creation Debate
~ Gunjan
Speaking Tip
~ from Tom Antion
IDEAS TO PONDER AND DISCUSS
Sure I know from that extract is taken
~ Maggie York
~ Moderator's Comment
NEW DISCUSSIONS
A survey
~ Gunjan
Thank Govt for every small mercy
~ Joseph Harris
THIS WEEK'S HUMOR
THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
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Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------
Dear Laughmates,
Not one of you Laughmates other than our wonderful sponsor guessed that all that FLUtter and FLUkes last
week was FLU induced writing.
Clara sent me little notes about taking it easy, drinking tons of fluids (which people normally tell me to go
easy on when I'm well ;-) etc. Have you noticed that if you have a sponsor or boss like that, who you know
would never question you if you missed an issue or two, you just can't let yourself miss an issue, whereas if you
had someone who would probably rave and rant you'd
spend as much time thinking of what excuses you could give and miss an issue, whether you could get away with
it, etc as writing the issue ?
I can see some of the Laughmates starting to wonder if I'm still writing under the influence of the flu ... and if not
why on earth am I ranting again ...
So without further ado, here's I-Laugh #113 ;-)
With best wishes,
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
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Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com
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Please, send any comments to:
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The Other Moderator's Comment
----------
Dear LaughMates,
Clearly, I should have caught Gunjan's references...after all, I seem to have caught his FLU.
Last week, as I sat at my desk, fingers pecking away at my virtually indestructible keyboard, I'd keep jerking awake every few minutes.
Perhaps that was a function of what I was I working on. Could it have been so boring that it put me to sleep? Pondering that for a
while, I fell asleep again.
After nearly pitching, head first into a client's file, imminently to be buried in the minutiae of their lives, amidst the barely legible receipts
and copies produced on those magic thermal printers and fax machines whose impressions disappear after only days...I wondered, would I
disappear like the thermal impressions?
Fearing for my life, I gave a mighty heave, pushed away from those
offending files - and toddled off to bed.
Safe there, buried deeply amongst the blankets and profusions of pillows...sweating the poison away. Not knowing if the streams of
moisture running off my forehead came from the FLU or being buried under the pile of covers and pillows in 90+ degree heat?
For days and days and nights and nights, I slept the slumber of the vanquished. But, with all that sleep, how did those piles of books
manage to get devoured? Reading fitfully, for only moments at a stretch before dropping off again, somehow, 5 books moved from
the new pile to the finished one? Must have been an out of my mind experience.
Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com -Where taxes are fun!
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===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========
=== > Evolution/Creation Debate
Putting this post under 'Continuing Discussions' may be a misnomer since we had closed this issue. However
it certainly isn't a New Topic. So since I couldn't think of another place to put it ... here it is.
This one is especially for our Laughmate Willem Schultink. With the Bible on his side he probably never needs any
other sources in support of the creationist theory ... but if he ever wants to have the support of a touch of
humor he can refer people to
http://www.stilez.freeserve.co.uk/apol/stories.html
It's the most humorous (and most plausible) Pro-creationist piece I've come across.
Wouldn't I love to forward it Richard Dawkins too! ;-)
Gunjan
Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Procreation
=== > Speaking Tip
Response to Introduction
--------------------------
The first important part of an opening is your response to your introduction. From here on, what you say is very important
because it characterizes you to the audience. A response to an introduction is what you say to or about your introducer or
what you say about what your introducer said. Can I make that
less clear for you?
For instance, if your introduction was too flattering and syrupy
you could say:
After that, I can't wait to hear what I have to
say.
Now I know what it feels like to be a pancake with
too much syrup on it.
My mother would have been proud because you read
that
just like she wrote it.
If your introduction was too long you could say:
This is not the second coming.
I have been feeling a little sick lately. I
thought I had the flu,
but I guess it must be my eminence.
If you had gone on about me much longer, I might
have started
to believe some of it.
For an introduction that is too short you could say:
That was the shortest introduction I have ever
had. My life just passed
before my eyes and I haven't even
been up here long enough to die.
Hey! What happened to all that good stuff I paid
you to say?
I know I don't deserve all the nice things that
WEREN'T said
about me in that introduction.
If you're doing a funny talk and the introducer is a GOOD friend you
could say:
I normally don't allow a long introduction and in
the short amount
of time I gave you Joe, you were starting
to screw that up.
If you're on a program with several big-name speakers you could say:
Most of the speakers you've heard here today are
like a
Who's Who of speaking. I'm more like
a Who's He/She?
Sometimes you will get an introduction that is just bad. Say:
Thank you very much for that INTERESTING
introduction.
If I'm going to bomb, I want to do it myself. I
don't need your help.
(Be careful when, how, and to whom you say
this one. You don't
want to take the audience out of in
fun.)
A safe approach when you get a bad introduction is to just skip the
response and make general comments to the audience. You don't
want to embarrass the introducer.
from Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up
Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup]
Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]
http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606
Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips
===== IDEAS TO PONDER AND DISCUSS ========
==> Sure I know from that extract is taken
It's the book, FISH!, of course!! And it is a fantastic book, as well as
video...
I used it for some customer refresher training recently. Unfortunately while I had management buy-in on the FISH principles,
the frontline supervisors were less than enthused....so it was not the success I had hoped for.
Maggie York,
Staff Trainer
VT DMV
==> Moderator's Comments
That's absolutely right Maggie. It is from the book "Fish" by Stephen Lundin, Harry Paul and John Christensen.
(I'm surprised Stephanie didn't respond to that one. Don't tell me you've missed this one Stephanie)
I really enjoyed the book based on the philosophy of the world famous Pike Place Fish market. (Unfortunately I
haven't got my hands on the video yet.) But as I read it,
I was mentally picturing the different companies where I had worked or with whom I had been closely
associated and trying to decide for myself which places a concept like this would work and where it would certainly
flop.
Most of the places which I felt it would certainly flop had atleast a couple of people who felt that they
already knew EVERYTHING about their field.
(Maggie was that the problem with some of your frontline supervisors too ?)
I'll try and pick out another one or two quick extracts from this book for you in the next issue ... but as I said
last week ... I would definitely recommend you to pick your own copy if you haven't come across it yet.
You can pick up your copy from
http://snurl.com/fishbook
Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Fish
=========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========
===> A Survey
Hey Laughmates,
Please help me with a little survey that I'd like to conduct
for a personal little bet.
Have you heard of Mark Joyner?
If your answer is yes
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Marked
add a line on where you heard about him, did you hear him of him
now that he is talking of quitting the internet or had you heard of
him earlier.
If your answer is no
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Unmarked
I would be very grateful if you took the few seconds it'll
take with this survey.
Thanks,
~ Gunjan
Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Survey
==> Thank Govt for every small mercy
Gunjan,
I wonder if you or our other laughmates have come across this ...
'Pleasure Tax' on Brothels
Fri May 16, 2003 10:49 AM ET
BERLIN (Reuters) - With the German economy on the brink of
recession, cash-strapped cities are resorting to slapping a
"pleasure tax" on brothels to help balance budgets.
Berlin and Cologne said on Friday they may broaden their
existing pleasure tax -- which already applies to casinos and
public events -- to brothels, sex shows and erotic trade fairs.
The cities of Gelsenkirchen and Dorsten have already done so,
but with only modest success. Only about a tenth of brothels have
paid up since the tax was broadened in January.
Tax officials are checking out sex venues and prostitutes working
from home to see if they are eligible for the tax, which amounts to
5.60 euros ($6.40) per 10 square meters (107 sq ft) of business
space per day. Any smaller establishment is exempt.
"Our tax inspectors are combing through sex adverts in local
newspapers and then paying visits, but equipped with measuring
tapes," said Martin Schulmann, spokesman for Gelsenkirchen.
Prostitutes' lobby group Hydra said in a statement the tax was
"pretty absurd."
"Are we going to measure tax payments by the size of the brothel?
If so Berlin's clients will have to satisfy their needs in cramped
cubbyholes or standing up. Does this city need this?"
Berlin's debt per capita is more than double that of recession-hit
Argentina. Other cities are also deeply in the red.
"Many places are trying to get out of the tax by claiming they are
just
sex cinemas, which only have to pay half the tax rate. It's quite hard to
collect," said Schulmann.
But even if all Gelsenkirchen's brothels paid up, the tax would only
yield about 150,000 euros ($171,400) a year -- a drop in the ocean
of 250 million euros of debt the city has.
Germany, dubbed the "sick man of Europe" because its giant
economy
has stagnated since 2001, is struggling with a burgeoning budget deficit
and mass unemployment.
>>>>>>>>at least the tax is by size of the
brothels!!<<<
Chacha Joe
www.smilepoetryweekly.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.
Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.
Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)
http://snurl.com/click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=========== This week's Humor ==============
Probably not very funny for our Laughmates in the US
-------------------------------------------------------
Attorney General John Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school.
After the typical civics presentation to the class, he announces,
"All right boys and girls, you can ask me questions now."
A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, I have three
questions, Mr. Ashcroft:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans civil
liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden?
Just then, the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground.
Fifteen minutes later the kids return to class, and Ashcroft says,
"I'm sorry, we were interrupted by the bell. Now, who has a
question to ask me?"
A young girl named Suzy raises her hand and says: I have five
questions, Mr. Ashcroft:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans civil
liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden?
4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?
(From Dr Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners)
Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor
=========== This week's Stress Reliever ==============
To everyone of our Laughmates ...
http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html
(Thanks Dianne)
Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I
I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com
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