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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11th June  2003    #     Issue 115
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ford!" he said, "there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who
want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out."
~ Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                                                    ~ Gunjan

_____________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

Evolution/Creation Debate
                       ~ Willem Schultink
                       ~ Moderator's Quip
                       ~ Jim Denike
                       ~ An evolutionary scientist's view

Fun with ads (A spammer learns the secret)
                       ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip
                                           ~ from Tom Antion

NEW DISCUSSIONS

Corporate Story Telling
                                       ~ Sean Woodruff

Taking Yossarian Lessons
                                       ~ The Doc

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR

THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
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Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------

Dear Laughmates,

In this week's issue of 'The Ink News', Phil (our sponsor)
has a tip for the users of Epson printers telling them
that leaving the cartridge out of your printer will most
definitely clog the print head.

He then goes on to say "Speaking of clogged heads..."
and I think to myself 'Oh Oh ... is he now talking about
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That reminds me (in spite of the clogged head) to remind
you that subscribers to The Ink News get a special 10%
discount. To sign up for it, visit
http://www.MaxPatchInk.com?laugh

Without further ado, here's I-Laugh #115 ;-)

With best wishes
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
--------------------------------------
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

P

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=====  CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========

=== > Evolution/Creation Debate

Gunjan,

 >>Would you now be willing to consider the many Gods
theory ? I mean, one designer wouldn't have thought
of everything would He ?<<

I'm always prepared to consider anything.

I would observe, though, that if God is God, and not some
product of our own thinking, then He would know everything,
and would be quite capable of thinking of everything.

Would a god who has a limited knowledge be worthy of
the title God? Would he not merely be some form of creature
- a powerful creature, no doubt, but still only a creature.

In fact, you could go to the next stage and say that if God is
all knowing and all powerful, as He would have to be to create
everything there is, that there could be only one Him.

From a scientific point of view, by looking at the similarities
shared by all living things - the structure of DNA, for example -
we get a clear picture of one mind doing the designing. Also the
fact that this whole vast universe hangs together, with immense
precision, indicates design by one mind. Would a universe
designed by a committee be able to do that?

<snip>

So it seems to me that the theory of many gods designing
everything doesn't match with reality as well as the theory
of one all powerful, all knowing God designing everything.

Regards,

Willem
_____
Websites that work! Clarity! Simplicity! Speed!
www.willemzz.com

'In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth'.

===> Moderator's Quip

Willem,

That was a quip for Heaven's sake !! and that is why I've
had to snip your serious reply. Hope you'll pardon me.

And here are another couple of quips ... (just to give you practice
at not taking quips toooo seriously ;)

One (which I received from Doc) ...If God is all powerful and
can do anything ... can He make a boulder which is so heavy
that He can't lift it ?

Two (my own creation) ... If God is so smart why would He create
everything Godually (manually seemed to be wrong word ;-).
Wouldn't it make more sense for him to create a process that
that kept upgrading and improving his products? Something even
Ferrari wouldn't be able to match :-) ? Something like evolution...
perhaps ???

;-)

Gunjan

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Procreation

===> Creation and Probability

[Moderator's note : If you remember, The Great Debate site
was found by the Wz-ard of Humorous Quotes
92561-subscribe@zinester.com (that's me wearing a different
hat). This mail was from one of it's subscribers.]

Hi Guys:

I don't believe in "Creationism" or the idea that this earth is but
some 6,000 years old (not something that Genesis says anyway)
but I do believe in probability. Perhaps, before making too light
of the subject, you might want to review "Evolution from Space"
by Fred Hoyle and Chandra Wickramasinghe. The essence of
their conclusion can be summed up in their assessment of
"enzymes":

Some proteins serve as structural materials and others as enzymes.
The latter speed up needed chemical reactions in the cell. Without
such help, the cell would die. Not just a few, but 2,000 proteins
serving as enzymes are needed for the cell's activity. What are the
chances of obtaining all of these at random? One chance in
1040,000! "An outrageously small probability," Hoyle asserts,
"that could not be faced even if the whole universe consisted of
organic soup." He adds: "If one is not prejudiced either by social
beliefs or by a scientific training into the conviction that life originated
[spontaneously] on the Earth, this simple calculation wipes the idea
entirely out of court."

As I recall from my studies in Probability, the scientifically accepted
threshold of absurdity is only 10 to the minus 50th power. Why is it
that this threshold is accepted everywhere else in the scientific
community but "waived" when dealing with the question of intelligent
design? Could it perhaps be prejudice as Hoyle implies?

While we all need to lighten up, science especially needs to do so.
Evolution has itself become not a theory but a religion. It has its high
priests, some living, some deceased. (Think many are waiting for
Stephen Jay Gould's resurrection.) Should any evidence be brought
to light that might lean toward intelligent design, it is immediately
dismissed as being "unscientific". It's almost as if Science is still so
frightened of the former excesses of the Roman Catholic Church
(ala Galileo, etc.) - which now fully embraces the very theory of
evolution which it earlier condemned - that it will expel from its
synagogues any giving credence to the remote possibility that a
Designer was required.

But if Hoyle's challenge isn't enough, Michael Behe's challenge is
much more so. His book "Darwin's Black Box" is a poke in the eye
challenge to the scientific orthodoxy, and a challenge yet to even had
a glove laid upon it. I for one am still searching the internet for any
theories as to how all or any or even one of these great transitions
might have been made at the biochemical level. The problem of
membrane formation alone appears to be insurmountable and the
position of having to explain away "irreducibly complex systems"
such as "the biochemistry of the eye" or "the blood-clotting system",
not to mention "the immune system" has left the modern scientific
community in a checkmate situation. It is just too proud to do the
gentlemanly thing and topple its king.

Have said enough. Enjoyed the laughs. Hope you enjoy following
through on this letter.

Cordially,

Jim Denike
Unpublished poet, former Airline Captain, Charter Pilot
& flight instructor, Commercial Diver, and Truck Driver,
and current General Handyman (not very good at it,
but my wife has yet to figure out that I'm practicing
"creative incompetence".)

==> An evolutionary scientist's view

Hi Jim,

I found your view interesting. So interesting that although I
had bumped into Dr. Santosh (Old Laughmates might remember
Dr. Santosh. Those of you who don't and would like to refresh your
memories can check out some of his posts in our archives at
www.workinghumor.com/archives.shtml Some of the issues which
have his posts or where he is featured are  010, 017, 028) after
almost 3 months, I just couldn't wait to switch the discussion away
from his software which we are planning to use in our school and
catching up on happenings in the last 3 months to the probability
issue that you brought up.

His reply was simple. What is the probability of you throwing a
60 if you are throwing 10 dice at the same time? 1/60 ... sounds
poor right ? Now what is the probability that you will throw atleast
one sixty if you threw your dice 10 times? 1/6 ... sounds much better
already doesn't it ? Now let's say you had nothing better to do
and sat around the whole day throwing those dice. The probability
that you would NOT throw a sixty even once the whole day would
now be the figure that would start to sound ridiculous ... wouldn't it ?
(If it doesn't yet  - change 'whole day' to whole week, month, year, etc,
till it does ! ;-)

He then went on to the example which Dawkins brought up in
The Blind Watchmaker. (Of course I've redone the example
in my most monkeyish style ;-)

What is the probability of a monkey typing a Shakespeare
Sonnet ? As bad as the improbable numbers you have Jim?
What if that monkey could live for three million years ... and you
made him type 23 sheets a day. The chances improve ?
Now what if you zapped it's arse everytime he typed some
garble and gave him a banana every time he typed a genuine
word ? I think you'd be able to get your sonnet with about a
million years to spare. Of course if he got it right the very first
day... you should take it and head to Vegas !

To check out others monkeying around with this theory don't miss...
http://www.angelfire.com/in/hypnosonic/Parable_of_the_Monkeys.html
or http://www.geocities.com/jscarrie/sf0/bill.html

~ Gunjan

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Probability

===> Fun With Ads (A spammer learns the secret)

Hi Friends,

Just last week I was discussing having Fun with ads and
it seems a spammer has learned the secret. This week I
got the craziest spam that I've got to date.

It has the words 'THINK BIG' in big letters on the right
and a cute teddy bear on the left. As you scroll down you
see that the Teddy Bear is sitting on a vacuum cleaner
and it's suction hose is placed ... you know where !

The simple message below reads ... "There's a less
embarrassing way" !

If the message hadn't been spam ... I'd have given it some
serious thought !! ;-)

{If you would like to see it (the spam), drop me a note to
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=FwdBigThinker
You must also promise not to click his link and encourage
spammers and I'll forward my copy to you...}

~ Gunjan

===> Speaking Tip

Bombproofing

Are you afraid of bombing when you get up in front of a group?
You don't have to be. With proper material selection, a few
prepared comments in case of unexpected problems, and
attention to time, worries about bombing can be virtually
eliminated. Also remember one key point that Mike McKinley,
past president of the National Speakers Association, told me:
"The audience doesn't know your script. If you make a minor
mistake, so what. Just keep on talking."

When you want to get a message across using humor, there is
one overriding principle that will give you the greatest chance
of success along with the least chance of failure. If you make
all your attempts at humor relevant to your presentation, you get
an automatic excuse from your mother if your humor is not
all that funny. If your humor is received as funny, so much the
better; but if it isn't, at least you made your point. Audiences will
be much more tolerant if the humor ties into the subject at hand.

At social functions, relevance is not as critical as it is in serious
business settings. If you stray off the main topic just for fun, it's
no big deal. However, if you are still a little apprehensive about
your humor skills in a presentation, the theory of relevance will
always keep you safe.

Even if your delivery is not great at this point, the proper selection
of material will carry you a long way. You must consider the nature
of the audience, your personality and style, and the nature of the
subject.

If you keep the above principle of relevance in mind, you should
never have to suffer the embarrassment of your humor bombing out.

from Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up
Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup]

Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

=========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========

===> Corporate Storytelling

In Stephanie's NT Marketing discussion group
NTMarket-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
the discussion turned to Corporate Storytelling and Storytelling
as a Training method. Here's what Sean Woodruff had to say
on the matter ...

I see a small problem with this...

If you are heading a public corporation, storytelling is the last thing
you would want to do in today's climate. That may not apply to any
of us here but I can see a CEO being led out in handcuffs with the
cry of, "They misunderstood my story! I never said that I would
double their money, I only said that the goose that lays the golden
egg is alive and well!"

Sean Woodruff

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Storytelling

==> Taking Yossarian Lessons

1987 -- US Rep. Jack Brooks tells Iran-Contra lackey
Elliot Abrams he takes "more pride in not knowing anything
than anybody I ever saw."

Replies Abrams, "I never said I had no idea about most of
the things you said I said I had no idea about."

~ The Doc
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Yossarian

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)
http://snurl.com/click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

===========  This week's Humor ==============

 Lay Stuff - you can't stop at just one ...

"In Houston this week they had an auction for Enron. They sold all
kinds of things that were once property of Enron. Lots of good deals
- in fact I picked up 2 senators and a congressman. Hell of a deal."
~ Jay Leno

"Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ...
Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred is their dignity."
~ Jay Leno

"Playgirl magazine is now offering the men of Enron a chance to post nude.
Coincidentally, the men of Enron will soon be getting the same offer from
their cellmates." ~ Conan O'Brien

"President Bush revealed today there is a shadow government run by
people who live outside of Washington in bunkers in case Washington
was ever attacked. I thought the shadow government was the one
Enron bought with all those contributions." ~ Jay Leno

"This past Sunday, former Enron CEO Ken Lay went to a church in
Houston. On the way out, a reporter asked him how he thought it was
going to work out. Lay said with God's help we'll get through it. To
which the Devil said, 'Hey, I thought we had a deal.'" ~ Jay Leno

"Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this
interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing
up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend.
Church officials are still looking for the collection plates." ~
David Letterman

"The wife of Enron CEO Kenneth Lay, Linda Lay, was on the
'Today' show yesterday. She said her husband is an honest, moral
man who has done nothing wrong. And today Hillary Clinton said,
'You go, girl! ...She went on to say they've lost all their money.
Luckily, they've still got plenty of everybody else's money.'"
~ Jay Leno

"Playgirl magazine is planning a pictorial spread for the men of Enron.
You thought they were hiding massive deficits before." ~ Dennis Miller

"The White House is sending Vice President Dick Cheney to the
Middle East this month. You get the feeling that President Bush's
opinion of Cheney has changed since the Enron thing broke? You
know a few weeks ago, all they would say about Cheney is that he
was in a safe, undisclosed location. He's hidden away. As soon as
Enron popped up, they sent him to the most dangerous place in the
world." ~ Jay Leno

"The White House again refused to turn over discussions Vice President
Cheney had with Enron officials over energy policy. Cheney said if he had
to disclose every time some business donated a ton of money then came
in to write its own policy to govern itself, he wouldn't get any work done."
~ Dennis Miller

"Some members of Congress now are complaining they are underpaid.
They want to propose a pay raise. You can't blame them. A lot of them
took a big income hit when Enron folded." ~ Jay Leno

"Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling appeared before Congress. Do you
think they even bothered swearing him in? Now he is denying he lied to
Congress last week. He's saying it was just the liquor talking." ~ Jay Leno

"The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron
secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys
can be when they realize that wives can't be forced to testify against
their husbands. Skilling said today she was the best secretary Enron
had ever had. She could shred 950 words a minute. ... I guess they
are on their honeymoon right now. That's going pretty well. Hey, he's
used to screwing Enron employees." ~ Jay Leno

"Over the weekend, former Enron executives Jeffrey Skilling and
Rebecca Carter married each other during a huge ceremony in
Houston. The happy couple is planning to honeymoon for three
weeks in front of Congress." ~ Conan O'Brien

"The Houston Astros want to change the name of Enron Field where
they play. I guess the Enron name could cause problems for them.
Like players could steal a base and then deny it." ~ Jay Leno

"In the Enron scandal, whistleblower Sherron Watkins is now calling
herself Enron Brokovitch. She testified Ken Lay was duped by the
other executives. Oh, yeah. When is the last time you got duped and
made $100 million?" ~ Jay Leno

"A lot of Congressmen yesterday were upset when Kenneth Lay
took the Fifth. Lay said it wasn't his fault. He had planned on testifying,
but when Jeffrey Skilling testified, he took all the really good lies."
~ Jay Leno

"There are reports that former Enron CEO Ken Lay is missing. And
I'm thinking, has somebody checked Dick Cheney's pockets?"
~ David Letterman

"The Enron scandal continues. The U.S. Senate has announced
they are going to subpoena Ken Lay and make him testify.
Apparently Lay received the subpoena this morning and then,
out of habit, immediately shredded it." ~ Conan O'Brien

"Today the United States has admitted that after months and months
of searching, we still have no idea where Osama bin Laden is.
Osama bin Laden? We can't even find Kenneth Lay." ~ Jay Leno

"I did not have political relations with that man, Ken Lay." ~ Sen. Fritz
Hollings (D-S.C.), poking fun at Bush for distancing himself from Enron

"The big rumor going around is, we may begin bombing Iraq. Or, as
the White House calls it, Operation Keep Enron Off The Front Page."
~ Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the
details of the Enron meetings. This is what he said. He met with unnamed
people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of
time at an undisclosed location. Thank God he cleared that up. I'm
ready to move on." ~ Jay Leno

"It turns out Enron workers were not only shredding documents at
work, they were having sex at work. Having sex and shredding
documents. Those are two things you don't want to get mixed up."
~ Jay Leno

"It was cold today. I was rubbing my hands together more than
Dick Cheney at an Enron payday." ~ Jay Leno

"Enron is now officially out of the energy business. They are now
in a new business: confetti." ~ Jay Leno

"Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was
tied-up in Enron stock?" ~ Dennis Miller

"You know what Ken Lay had for breakfast this morning?
Shredded Wheat" ~ Jay Leno

"People are still talking about President Bush's big State of the
Enron, I mean, Union, speech." ~ Jay Leno

"Ken Lay's testimony before congress is being referred to as the
story of "take the money Enron." ~ Cybersatirist Bob Hirschfeld

"Well, the manhunt continues for that elusive evil mastermind, but
I'm telling you Enron CEO Kenneth Lay remains at large."
~ David Letterman

"Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the
border into Pakistan." ~ David Letterman

"It may seem puzzling why Enron, a company dealing in natural gas,
would hire the same lawyer who defended President Clinton. Actually
it makes perfect sense - they are two clients interested in laying pipe."
~ Cybersatirist Bob Hirschfeld

"Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has sold all of his Enron stock. I guess we
all knew that. In fact, the only thing he owns now is the Bush
administration." ~ David Letterman

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

(From Dr Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners)

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

===========  This week's Stress Reliever  ==============

Reasons to switch to Linux...

http://www.ubergeek.tv/switchlinux/

Thanks tOM

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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