I-Laugh Archives
Your Working Humor Discussion List

................................
I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
---------------------------------------------

Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9th July  2003    #     Issue 119
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like
'What? There's no toilet?' Once you get used to
high speed you ain't going back.
~ Robin Williams
(http://workinghumor.com/quotes/int_robin_williams.shtml)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                                                       ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                      ~ Eva
_____________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

Moderator's Comments
                                 ~ Lane Pope
                                 ~ Maderator's stuff interspersed

Crazy Birds
                                 ~ Loran Wilson

Another important reason
                                ~ Tom Trottier

Looking for God
                                             ~ Uncle Joe

I know, you know etc
                                 ~ Scott Simmerman
Speaking Tip
                                              ~ from Tom Antion

NEW DISCUSSIONS

The Way
                                           ~ The Doc

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR

THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

----------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------

STOP paying more for your printer supplies than what you
paid for your printer! We're here to save YOU money!
Inkjet cartridges, Complete-n-Easy refill ink kits, JetPak
Mailers, InkSaver software, toner and more!

* psst... our newsletter subscribers always get a 10%
Discount! (simple details sent right after sign up!)

Come Save Now at MaxPatch Ink Supplies!
http://www.maxpatchink.com?laugh

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------

Dear LaughMates,

ym etirw ll'I thguoht I enaL htiw tahc ym yb deripsnI
          ...tuo denrut ti woh s'ereH .esrev ni stnemmoc

[Eva is away,
for the day
So it's time to play.
Not for you a good sign
coz you are at mercy mine
for I-Laugh #one one nine...]

With best wishes
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
--------------------------------------
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in case you didn't get it, the above lines read from
right to left read "Inspired by my chat with Lane I thought
I'll write my comments 'in verse'. Here's how it turned out")

P

P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com


Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments

----------
The Other Moderator's Comment
----------

Dear LaughMates,

This past week, Gunjan and I received the most remarkable
unsubscribe note from a reader. (Subject - Reasons why I Left -
- Because you're just not Right) Aside from being intentionally
punny, he accused me of being a socialist.

Now, hang on there, I use the word 'accused', not because
socialism is necessarily a bad thing (except when it's a part of
National Socialism, as in NAZI). Rather, 'accused' because
of the tone in which he used it.

After cracking up, reading his letter, the kinds of memories that
went through my mind just kept me chuckling for a long time.
He reminded me vividly how wonderful, magnificent and passionate
a time are the teen years.

When I was 17, I knew everything! By the time I was 18, I knew
even more. I had all the answers!

Now, at looooooooooooooong past 39, I barely know a thing.
(But, it's amazing how much smarter my mother seems, looking back.)

Socialist, huh? Me????

I remember his age, when I was an ardent advocate of Ayn Rand
http://www.aynrand.org/ and her 'Art of Selfishness' and stories of
Nietzschian supermen (with whom I, naturally, identified). I scorned
altruism and authority, while being generous with friends and strangers
needing help and also planning to live on a kibbutz for a couple of
years after college. (But, of course, that's not a contradiction,
that's a different kind of socialism - this one really works, right?)

It's wonderful remembering all these and other contradictory
philosophies I could espouse simultaneously - and justify.
Passionately.

I'm not sure if his passion makes me feel so young again,
or suddenly old.

But his gracious apology reminds me exactly how frustrating it
can be just starting out your independent life, your working years,
your career - and facing all those obstacles, like unreasonable taxes,
in the way.

Looking back, there are so many times I can see that if I had only known
the rules of the game, in one area or another, things would have been so
much easier. But, at those stages, frankly, I didn't even realize there was
an alternative to the way I was dealing with that issue, or some other.

Well, at least this time, I can help - so, TaxMama  to the rescue!

Got to run....as you read this...I may be taping a TV interview, or shhhh,
don't tell anyone....perhaps having lunch with a friend I haven't seen in
[many mumble,mumble-ty] years. I'm so nervous.

Your Comic Guide,

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com -Where taxes are fun!

         Start 10 Businesses Online Without Spending a Dime -
Special Independence Week and feeling young again 50% discount
This is a special link that will disappear when July 12th ends.
http://tinyurl.com/g1pa  - only $10.00

[Oh no!!!!! They have THE perfect job opening, "Media
Department Manager" in one of the best locations in California -
and my schedule is too full to even consider  it - but is yours?
http://www.aynrand.org/employment.html
Coincidentally, I'll be taping practically next door today, so...]

------------------------------------------------------------
Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...

http://snurl.com/impwit
------------------------------------------------------------

=====  CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========

=== > Comment on Moderator's Comment

I mentioned the limerick chats that Lane and I have,
in my comments in the last issue. Never one to waste
a moment Lane sent me three verses in reply. My replies
have been tagged right between her verses. Feel free to
join the melee if it strikes your fancy.


Thanks much; your words have made my week;
These days have been rainy and bleak;
but your bit of fun
has brought out the sun;
And stopped up my lacrimal leak.
~ Lane

Your kind words Lane - they make me weak,
To think that my words such havoc wreak.
The sun didn't find it jest...
The poor chap was at rest,
He's tanning my hide as we speak !
~ Gunjan

Of late I have not been disserting,
Nor singling nor laughing nor flirting
Gateway and AOL
Have put me in hell
And not just my broke arm is hurting.
~ Lane Again

I know these are upsetting times,
Hard to hold on to your paradigms,
But in the midst of this grind
You must keep it in mind
AOL and hell are synonyms not rhymes.
~ Gunjan, in fun

I pray for the email mechanic
to get me out of my enar panic;
that I might lose all
without having a ball
I alternate gloomy and manic.

cant fiunish computer getting nutsto
~ The Lane in 'pain stays mainly ....

I've heard that when comps get nutsto,
they get together and sing with gutsto,
But after a bit,
for a byte they sit...

I better not fiunish ... I getiing nutsto too ;-)
~ Gunjan is done

==> Crazy Birds and ...

Hi Eva,

Those doity birds that choip and boip and eat dirty woims are
taking a dust bath. All wildlife have a way of dealing with bugs
and cooling off. Birds take dust baths when water is not handy
and sometimes when it is. It also feels good. Like talcom powder
under your arms on a hot day.

Other animals take dust baths also. Elephants blow dust all over
thier body. Dogs, cats, lions, tigers, horses buffalow, cows, pigs
and some humans roll in the dirt and sometimes rotten stuff worse
than mulch, like other animals droppings. If you know what I mean.
We don't like to step in it. Especially barefooted.

Keep up the good work.

Loran Wilson

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=CrazyBirds

===> Another important reason ...

> Members of in groups can joke about their peers and insult each
> other all they want. Bob Hope makes fun of Ronald Reagan.
> Everyone knows they are buddies.

Besides, Hope is sure Ron will forget about it...

tOM

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=peers

===> Looking for God

I think The Doc misses the point (and I have not missed the cap key
for his pseudonym). The confusions within the details of the disagreement
between God believers and Evolutionists may in some part be due to
word meanings.

But the disagreement itself is fundamental. For some, such as myself,
God exists and is quite capable of managing an evolutionary process;
indeed there is a strong argument for that being a supremely intelligent
way to approach the development of physical life.

Evolutionists, however, with a faith that is quite touching, 'believe' (and
I quote Richard Dawkins) that the proof of the godless THEORY of
evolution WILL be found. The joke of the preacher and the drunk is
neither here nor there in the discussion; just amusing. But it uses the
Dawkins technique: illustrate something stupid in religion as indicating
that God doesn't exist.

Of course The Doc could have picked on the real confusion of meaning
in this argument: the definition of God. The best I can offer is ineffable
and unknowable! Of course that makes it a bit difficult to argue for, or
against.   'Some intelligence beyond man' is quite useful.

The materialists' theory of evolution is another matter altogether. Hardly a
week goes by that doesn't have some story of a new discovery which cast
doubt on some plank of the evolution argument. The latest being associated
with the organelle. Apparently this basic part of cell evolution has
suddenly turned up where it can't be if the most basic piece of evolution
theory is true.

Of course there are also questions about what God permits in the way of
evil. Without monopolising the next 100 issues of I-laugh it is difficult to
explore this one. And that would be no laugh. It certainly seems to me
very productive to consider what God may have set up the whole Earth
experience for.

Some things can start to make a little sense from that direction. But then
there is a saying that to look upon the face of God (I think that means
have some understanding) would drive a man - or woman - mad.
By that observation a lot of people must have had a look!

Uncle Joe
www.smilepoetryweekly.com

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=god

===> I know, you know, etc

Okay! Thanks for the non-attribution of that thing on "you know..."

 > "I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
 > but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard
 > is not what I meant."

It reminds me of 1987 --

US Rep. Jack Brooks told Iran-Contra* lackey Elliot Abrams he takes,
"more pride in not knowing anything than anybody I ever saw."

Allegedly replied Abrams, "I never said I had no idea about most of the
things you said I said I had no idea about.

* one must remember the Iran-Contra controversy where Ollie North gets
hauled into court and then nearly gets elected to Congress. You gotta
love how the "star" system works.


It just goes to show you that thing called paradox is still operating.

Paradox: All general statements are false. Therefore:

In order for something to become clean, something else must become
dirty. But you can get EVERYTHING dirty without getting anything
clean. Why is that?

Some see things that are and ask why.
  Some dream of things that aren't and ask why not.
    Some have to go to work and don't have time for all that crap.

So, thanks. And I am outta here with two final thoughts:

    "He who laughs last often thinks slowest."

and

   "Whenever someone annoys you, just remember that it takes
    over 40 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to
    stretch out your arm and slap them hard across the face."

--

For the FUN of It!

Scott J. Simmerman, Ph.D.
Performance Management Company - 800-659-1466
        mailto:Scott@SquareWheels.com

  Designer of Square Wheels training tools and other team products
      <http://www.squarewheels.com/

       "Square Wheels roll, but Round Ones are available!"

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=know

===> Speaking Tip

When you deliver a punchline, deliver it to one person and
one person only. It doesn't matter how large the crowd is,
you can look one person right in the eye and deliver your line.

The person to whom you deliver the punch line is NOT randomly
chosen. I deliver punch lines to a person I know is going to laugh.
How do I know? I pay attention. That's how I know. It all starts
with my pre-program research. If I have spoken to any of the audience
members and they were laughing with me on the phone, I'll seek them
out before the program so I know where they are sitting. That way I can
look directly at them during the program. Before the program starts, I
mingle with the participants, not only to meet them, but to see who is
and who is not in fun (mingling with them helps to put them in fun). In
addition, I watch the audience when the emcee or program coordinator
is talking. This gives me a mental note of the people who are not only
having fun, but also paying close attention to the person speaking. Don't
be fooled by an audience who appears to be having great fun. It could
very likely have been induced by alcohol at their social hour. They may
be oblivious to what's happening on-stage.

After you have begun your presentation, another way to tell who to
deliver to is by closely watching the audience. Some audience members
who are really in tune with what you are saying will nod their head gently
in approval. You should have great success delivering to these people.

from Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up
Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup]

Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

=========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========

===> The Way !

"There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
And that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all."
~ Ogden Nash

What I have always liked about these kinds of wisdom is the
paradox built into them. He says there is only one way, but then
gives us two. I love it.

That's like the saying, "There are two things that will make you
successful in business: the first is not to tell everything you know."

~ The Doc
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=TheWay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)
http://snurl.com/click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

===========  This week's Humor ==============

The Zen Master is visiting New York from Tibet.
He goes up to a hot dog cart and says,
"Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the
Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the
bill in the cash box and closes it.  "Where's my change?"
asks the Zen Master.

And the vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

(From Dr Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners)

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

===========  This week's Stress Reliever  ==============

Go to www.google.com
Type (or copy and paste if you're lazy)
Weapons of Mass Destruction
Click on the "I'm Feeling Lucky" tab

(Thanks tOM and Doc)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh :
http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml

FAQ, Information & Archives at our website,
http://workinghumor.com

Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg

YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh
electronically free of charge, under the following
conditions:

First: The author of the piece receives full credit,
with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact

Second: The following byline is included.
"This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh,
Your Working Humor Discussion List.
http://www.workinghumor.com
Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

However, if you are getting paid for your  publication
(it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to
contact us to arrange a payment  to us for the material
you are using.

A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..

Home

I -Laugh

Info for Newbies
Submission Guidelines
Archives
Articles Index
Advertise


Business Cartoons

Resources

Selling Humor

Professional Humor
Medical Humor
Educational Humor
Military Humor
Advertising Humor

If you've had enough 'Serious' Humor relax in our 'pun' zone -
Jest For Pun

About Us

Contact Us



If you had learnt French and its getting rusty
you're in the same boat as us.
Join us as we share jokes, funny poems etc
(along with help files) and row hard ;!
Facebook Page
Blog


Check out WorkingHumor.com's new Facebook Page




WorkingHumor.com now has a Facebook Page. It's still a baby, hasn't learnt how to dance yet
but maybe you're the one we're waiting for, to get the party started ;o!
Check it out here

Custom Search