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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

23rd July  2003    #     Issue 121
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
~ George Bernard Shaw

More Quotes on Diets and Weight Loss -


Moderator's Comment -
                                                        ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                        ~ Eva


                                              ~ Uncle Joe
                                              ~ The Doc

No Soap, Radio
                                 ~ The Linkster
                                 ~ Lars Hanson's post in PUNY
                                 ~ The Doc

Speaking Tip
                                               ~ from Tom Antion


It's Greek to me !
                                            ~ Gunjan

Was it something I said ?
                                            ~ Gunjan



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Moderator's Comments

Dear LaughMates,

This has been one crazy week. Eva's husband Rick had the not so pleasurable experience of "Someone decided to look my husband in the eye, last Friday, and make a left turn directly into his vehicle" as Eva put it in I-Helpdesk.
I'm sure I speak for all Laughmates as I wish him a speedy recovery so that Eva and Rick can get on with their honeymoon.

On another not as but yet quite painful note somebody decided that I've been spamming them with my Wz-ard of Humorous Quotations and Wz-ard of Humorous Poetry lists. Must have forgotten that they had subscribed cause I certainly did NOT subscribe them. And they couldn't find the unsubscribe button or even ask me to unsubscribe them but went running to Spamcop who in their infinite wisdom took up the issue not with me or my listhost but with Phil and Clara's host. Phil and Clara as you know are our wonderful sponsor's.
Do check out their site -
                                - It's a treat to work with such fun people.

There was the lighter side to this whole episode with Spamcop of course ... Their robot wrote to me and asked me to prove I'm human. I'm still trying my
best to gather proof !

And then, there was .... on second thoughts that's enough ado for a week. Without further ado, here's I-Laugh #121.

With best wishes
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

As Gunjan pointed out, this has been an interesting week. Somewhere along the way, since the accident, all kinds of odd coincidences starting coming into play. Some rather interesting ironies (that my husband's attorney would prefer I don't put into print).

I had put a note into Monday's HelpDesk, a little facetiously, hoping for some humorous responses (thinking, really, I should hold it for I-Laugh, they're a much better audience for this). One response came, but it was quite serious.

Perhaps you can do better?

I did have the oddest thought Sunday, as we were getting ready to go out and photograph the site of the accident.

What is the appropriate attire for visiting accident scenes?
What is the correct etiquette involved in dealing with insurance adjusters? Ours? Theirs?

Ah, sounds like a great subject for a book on accident humor '~)

What can you do with this, in a sit-down comedy vein?

And all this talk about God! This is a humor publication and here we are, mining, the depths of philosophy?

Coincidentally, one of the books I picked up in the used bookstore was 
Harry Keleman's Conversations With Rabbi Small.

(Normally, Rabbi Small solves murder mysteries.  http://tinyurl.com/hsbq  )

This is an interesting way to permit him to expound on God, Judaism, religion, law, and a number of other related subjects, without it all being a total bore. Much like here, only LaughMates do tend be more lively.

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com -Where taxes are fun!

NEW! Start 10 Businesses Online Without Spending a Dime

Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
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himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...



=== > God


Ouch! Did I seem that critical? Let me start by conceding to Doc that we 
should not hold one another's noses and force-feed our ideas down each other's throats.

Douglas Adams well illustrated the confusions of life and mice as our organisers and the answer 42 are reasonable conclusions in that setting. 
And it is refreshing to find a minister of religion (as to find an evolutionist) who is constantly checking the other arguments.

My position is not that because I believe in God everyone else should too. First it  is necessary to have some idea what is meant by 'God'. That is a lot more difficult than it seems and depends whether you want to deal at the physical, psychic, spiritual or other levels.

What I do detest is the behaviour of evolutionists like Dawkins who are completely certain that godless evolution is right and then twist all the evidence to hand;  all right, that exaggerates. And then do not 'observe' that their evidence of one week is frequently undermined the following week.

There is, to my mind, serious evidence of 'evolution with intervention';  this could be the spacemen, of course. There appear to be 'jumps' of evolution, rather than process. And there is the mystery of the eye.

And Dawkins does play this trick of finding something extreme in religion and pretending that makes the possibility of God ridiculous. In logic anyway ALL religion could be wrong, and there could STILL be a God. Maybe all religion could be (sort of) right and there NOT be a God.

Doc's joke is very funny, but in that context the suggestion is that religions present ridiculous ideas. That was my point.

There is a second reason I have some anger with post-Darwin evolutionists.
It is because they diminish the concepts of duty and responsibility nurtured by the moralities of religion. This has serious and detrimental effects on society and particularly further weakens the position of society's weaker members.

But that is not one to fill I-laugh with...

My hat was in the ring
Or was it the ring that lay in the hat?
The argument I did bring:
'What do you think of that?'

Yah boo, sucks, think again,
In unison they cried.
But I was much to vain
And with them still I vied.

'But two and two are four!'
'It all depends.' said Prof.
'I'm sure that is the law.' --
And now I'll toddle off.

~ Uncle Joe seeking Paradise
Smile Poetry Weekly (fortnightly)
Batty Balls and other Wicket Wit

==> God

This has some relevance ...


The Doc
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

Comments -

===> No Soap, Radio
(Elephant (Radio) joke explained....)

There is NO POINT.  This is a classic 'Radio' joke.

You must be in on the joke.  When the punch line is 'radio'
you just laugh as if you 'get it' then watch those who are not 'in'.
Most times the person or persons NOT IN will laugh as if they
did 'get it' which can be quite humorous because the more we
laugh the more the unsuspection laughs, etc.

My classic 'radio' joke is:

An Eskimo was ice fishing when another Eskimo approached and asked 
if he was catching fish. The fisherman replied,
"No, (pause) but RADIO!"

My four kids (16 to 25) love catching our house guest.

The Linkster

===> No Soap, Radio

The old term in high school for such tales was "goose joke,"
perhaps because the intent of the "joke" was to make the
uninitiated seem a silly goose.

Another along those lines was the following:

Two penguins at the South Pole one day decided to race
each other around the world.  They started in opposite
directions and both streaked northward.  (Here one can fill
in any amount of detail one wants about the terrain covered
by each penguin, the difficulties faced, and so on, so as to
pad out the "joke" even further.)

As the two penguins raced across the frozen wastes of
Antarctica, racing toward the South Pole they arrived
almost in a dead heat. Thoroughly winded, as one
approached the other, he cried out,


Another pointless joke, save that it was intended to embarrass
the victim by making him or her feel utterly out of it as the rest
of the people around him or her began laughing hysterically.
The greater the discomfiture, the greater the hilarity.

Or, if the victim tried to fake it by laughing loudly, then the
others would suddenly sober up and one of them would say
to the victim something like, "I don't get it!" or "What's so funny?"
thus leaving the victim with the problem of trying to explain the

Ah, the cruelties of youth!

(Lars Hanson is one the old timers at PUNY and the
moderator of the Limericks and Haiku group. (To subscribe
He is the person to talk to if you're interested in learning
about meter, scansion etc)

===> No Soap, with a touch of philosophy

I heard this joke some time back with a slightly different twist:

Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, 
"Please pass me the soap," and the other replied,
"What do you think I am, a typewriter or something?"

The "joke" was presented as an example of existentialism.
Once I was told that, I laughed my ass off. Aren't you?

The Doc
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

Comments -

===> Monkeying Around ...

 > Would you please check out the poem and let me
 > know in your opinion how many monkeys and how
 > much time it would take them to write that poem?

One previously dead monkey, one virtual hour or day
whichever since virtually time goes by very slowly for a
dead monkey anyway. All I want to know is where the hell
he got the typewriter in the first place.

~ The Doc

Moderator's Cheep Shot - Doc... isn't that obvious ... he got
the typewriter from the polar bear !

Comments -

===> Speaking Tip


The "Original Commercial" for an imaginary product is always fun.
People have fun with the Commercial because they get to think of
a product or service that would ease their lives. They then build
a short sales presentation around it, usually making it funny.

I remember the lively commercial a single woman gave for what she
called a "Creep Detector." The imaginary gadget was no bigger
than a computer mouse. When run down the side of a prospective
date, it revealed such character traits as "habitual lying,"
"fear of commitment" "dislike of his mother" and "impatience with

Another memorable product was the "Clapper Crapper" . . . a
toilet whose seat went up and down with hand commands to
accommodate gender differences. One clap up, two claps down. No
more marital arguments over who failed to leave the toilet seat
properly positioned.

Excerpted from "Get in Bed with Your Audience: And satisfy them
every time." by Gary Michael . . .The Talk Doc

Tom Adds: You can use this technique as an involvement technique
as Gary does above or simply make up a funny commercial
customized to the group to which you are speaking and deliver it

from Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking' newsletter
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]


Moderator's Comments - We used to have this at school
literary fests and we used to call them Mad Ads. It was
really great fun. In fact it's so much fun I wonder I didn't
think of it before. Let's have a mad ads contest for
Laughmates. Write the script for selling a product called
"True Blue." Unlike the example above I won't tell you
what the product is ... so it gives you more freedom to
think of a product ... it's USP and then the ad. You starting
working on the script and I'll start working on finding an
appropriate prize for the person who writes the funniest
script. Deal ?

Send in your scripts here -

Comments or if have you a tip to share -

=========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========

===> It's Greek to me !

Dear Laughmates,

I need some help ! Since the last two weeks I have
been getting this mail in reply to I-Laugh. Is the guy
trying to unsubscribe, post a message ? Does anybody
know what language this is ...

'Je emailt SMScity met een vraag. Waarschijnlijk is je vraag
al vele malen eerder gesteld ...'

If you can read it please let me know. Also please let me
know if I can forward it to you so you can tell us if it's
something worth posting.

Thanks in anticipation,

Comments  -

===> Was it something I said ?

Dear Laughmates,

One of my favorite 'Mad' book covers depicts a scene of war. Not modern warfare with bombs but ancient warfare with swords and spears. The background is littered with gory bodies. In the foreground there is one 
guy lying on battlefield with somebody outside the picture pointing a
spear at his chest .... The blurb reads - "Was it something I said?"

What reminded of this old favorite cover was ...

I am an on and off contributor to a list called Partners-in-Rhyme
which takes Anu Garg's AWAD ... adds a little more fun by
adding a few limericks about the word of the day and sending
it out. My limericks are almost always pretty whacky ... coz
I write to that list only if I get a whacky idea. This has earned
me a reputation of sorts in that list.

No wonder my name came up when the word of the day
was incorrigible.

Wrote Elois, a contributor whose contributions are a delight ...

INCORRIGIBLE is that fun man,
The rhymer who goes by name Gunjan,
A naughty boy, bad,
Or,  seemingly, mad,
What e'er, I'm his millionth and one fan.

Well, that really did tickle me and make feel good though I'm still 
searching for the other million fans. 
(Wouldn't it be 'cool' to find them all !)

With the dual purpose of correcting the pronunciation
of my name and asserting my nuttiness I wrote ...

The Incorrigible One - Gunjan?
Or just a fellow having good fun ?
Which one really true,
All I can tell you...
He spends much time under mid-day sun !

When Gunjan was asked if he
Suffers badly from insanity?'
He thought for a while,
Then replied with a smile...
"Oh no, I enjoy it, tee-hee !"

And then I thought I'd tease Chris and Dan (the guys who run the list) 
a bit too. [They (especially Dan) have kept telling me about the
scansion problems et al in my limericks and have helped me to 
improve my writing too]

To my dear millionth and one fan.
I say with the utmost of élan...
"I am raising Thee
To Fan No. 3
You are now just behind Chris and Dan !"

Since he saw that lim, Chris has not slept !
And Dan ? Like dear ol' Jesus he wept....
"G's scansion it does suck,
Half his stuff is pure muck...
Also at fanning we're not adept !"

I thought, the fun would be obvious and the whole
thing was just light banter. But from Chris' reply it
doesn't seem to have been taken that way ...

There are some things hard to endure,
Like wiseasses, smart and cocksure,
Who when it is said,
Have too great a head,
Too bad it is filled with manure!

But there are some good things about 'em,
And if they've some talents, they flout 'em,
So we swallow our pride,
And remark aside,
We simply can't do much without 'em!


Anyone have any idea what I said to upset him so much?
Or is he not upset and I'm reading too much into his reply.
Is his reply supposed to be light banter too ? I'm afraid I still
don't understand some of the American (slang) endearments.


Comments  -

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Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
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interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)

===========  This week's Humor ==============

This one is for Amit ... who recently was supposed to recreate a program but was having difficulty and in his state shot of a mail that read "Unable to
reproduce !"

Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."

Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

(From Dr Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest

Comments :

===========  This week's Stress Reliever  ==============

This is a MUST SEE !

(Thanks Dianne)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:


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