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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf mailto:email@example.com
13th August 2003 # Issue
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country
are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
~ George Burns
IN THIS DIGEST :
Moderator's Comment -
The Other Moderator's Comment
~ Joseph Harris
~ Will Bontrager
Fun with Signs ...
~ from Tom Antion
A thought for Discussion
The Champ !
THIS WEEK'S HUMOR
THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
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Got a mail from Doc which read "I don't have time to go
to all these links you are offering up. I'm busy" and another
one saying "I don't think the Primates should have vacation
either. They're busy.".
Our wonderful sponsors Phil and Clara on the other hand
were BUSY taking a quick Holiday, which in my humble opinion
is a business which needs attending to as seriously as any other!
What d'you think ?
Without further ado, here's I-Laugh #124.
With best wishes
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
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The Other Moderator's Comment
While you were all busy laughing at primates, we were all busy
chuckling at homo sapiens.
The California Governor's Recall Election is unprecedented
Naturally, the sitting Governor is still trying to find a way to
void the recall altogether. Meanwhile, every kook and his
sister has figured out that they could get tons of free publicity
by simply going to registrar's office and taking out an
application to run for governor. (There was no fee to pick
up the form. The cost is $3500 to actually file it.)
Clever people noticed the press staking out the registrar's
offices and nearly 500 people picked up applications.
Among them were people like Angelyne
This woman has been spread across billboards in
Los Angeles since the '80s. No one realized she was
even real. But she pulled an application. There were
also strippers and other colorful people.
At the latest count, as I write this, 247 people have filed
to run for governor. Among them are The Terminator -
Arnold Schwarzennegger; Gary Coleman - the little boy
from Different Strokes; Larry Flynt of Hustler Magazine....
Need I say more?
I live here. One of these celebrities could be my governor.
So, how bad could your town be?
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The other moderator pips in ...
> One of these celebrities could be my governor.
You mean Taxmama is not one of the 247 candidates ?
How sad ! ;-)
Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...
===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========
=== > Primat-ive Stuff !
I am very impressed with the plastic surgery on the chief
monkey. This gives a most convincing humanoid appearance.
The giveaway that this is no joke are the inability of the
monkeys to understand the subtleties of the Language.
'*We* are the *pioneer*' for example; and 'Humans and
higher primates *share* approximately 97% of their DNA
Now we see the explanation for the invention of the term
'geek' (to cover the 3% difference). The 'skin improvement'
industry has never looked back from its start with the
To be accurate: if you pay peanuts you get monkeys; these
are chimpanzees it seems. I wonder what the going rate is?
Yours with the opposable thumb, Uncle Joe
P.S. At the 329th attempt Promotea is claimed to be a clone
of its mother, a Haflinger mare (lady horse). The ten-week old
foal has been produced from a skin cell. Clearly we are into a
new science Der-ma-tology.
Smile Poetry Weekly (fortnightly)
Batty Balls and other Wicket Wit
==> Primat-ive Stuff (2)
I think the monkeys got to peopling around and made this
page. Maybe they can work for bananas (about a pound
and a half per hour, the exchange comes out to, calculated
at rates currently posted on our local grocery store signs),
because they're a furred-world species and their cost of
living is next to nil.
Sooner or later you need CGI.
Then you need WillMaster.
==> Primat-ive Stuff (3)
I'd like to know when this website was launched. I'd bet its
Its a well done site, though. Bet they had some fun doing it.
I reckon they're still chuckling now!
Websites that work! Clarity! Simplicity! Speed!
(Comment - I don't know when their site was launched but
I can think of another site that was launched on 1st April.
Hint ... you're all an integral part of it ;)
==> Primat-ive Stuff (4)
Amit wrote in 5 times (I wonder when was the last he
engaged in such frantic activity ;) to tell me about some
article about in the papers warning people that this was
a hoax. It seems people have started paying up to hire
the primates. (Was that the cause of his worry ? ;)
Well, if we any have such wonderful, experimenters here ...
we are happy to announce our special paid list
'Chimp-Laugh'. This will naturally be a discussion group
of the Chimps, for the Chimps and by the Chimps.
Subscription only 25$ a month to be paid in US$ only
(not in bananas or peanuts ;). For payment details etc
write to email@example.com
===> Fun with Signs ...
Just a brief message to tell you about
a sign that I cherish - from down in the Sout'.
The sign post stands near to Alligator City -
a tourist delight, though the view is not pretty.
"FREE KIDS UNDER SIX"- said the 4 ft square sign -
How odd, says I, cuz, that's not how I got mine.
If they're running a surplus of giveaway minors,
why don't they just serve 'em at the Alligator Diner?
===> Speaking Tip
Importance of Preparation
One of the most famous examples of good preparation
came during Ronald Reagan's 1984 bid for reelection.
Reagan made a very poor showing as he stumbled through
his first debate with the democratic challenger, Walter
Mondale. The media jumped on this and Reagan's age
and possible senility became a big issue until about two-thirds
of the way through his second televised debate with Mondale.
A question was posed to the president that ask him if he was concerned
how his age would affect his ability to do the
job. Reagan's prepared two-line response virtually nailed the lid
on Mondale's coffin and squelched the age issue even though he
was four years older than he was in the last election. He said,
"I'm not going to inject the issue of age into this campaign. I am
not going to exploit for political gain my opponent's youth and
inexperience." Some say this comment won him his second term
of office. That's the power of preparation.
~ from Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up
Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup]
Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]
Comments or if have you a tip to share -
=========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ===========
===> Thought for Discussion ...
As I was making my 'Humorous Quotes on Advertising' page
The trouble with us in America isn't that the poetry of life
has turned to prose, but that it has turned to Advertising copy.
~ Louis Kronenberger
Shall we share our thoughts on the matter ?
===> The Champ
A couple of days back I was engrossed in watching a
very silly driver veering his car about and moving in the
craziest way that I have seen. I was just thinking - "This
guy must be one of the silliest people on the road." And
then suddenly another thought flashed through my mind.
"Move you idiot ... he's coming right at you !"
Managing to get out his way by a whisker, it took me a
few minutes to get back my sense of humor enough to
realize who had been the silliest person on the road that
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Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.
Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)
=========== This week's Humor ==============
Each day when I would come home from work I would
drop to my knees and ask my 4 year old son if he wanted
to box. I wanted him to learn how to protect himself. We
would spar around for a few minutes before supper.
One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes.
The shoe salesman was friendly and allowed my son to
try on several pairs of shoes before we decided on a
particular pair that he liked. We asked if he wanted to
wear them home and he replied, "yes".
The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front
of our son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked,
"do you want a box?"
Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose.
After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several
minutes explaining why this happened. Luckily, our salesman
was the father of a 4 year old.
(From Dr Stan Kegel's Groaner's Digest
=========== This week's Stress Reliever? ==============
No umbrella, getting soaked,
I'll just use the rain as my umbrella.
-- Zen monk Daito
quoted in "Zen and the Art of Anything" by Hal W. French
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