I-Laugh Archives
Your Working Humor Discussion List

..............................
I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
---------------------------------------------

Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
15th October 2003    #     Issue 133
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you
what is the matter with me. Life is brief, and you might
pass away before I had finished.
~ Jerome K Jerome (Three Men in a Boat) 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                                                                ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                                ~ Eva
_________________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

Not to mention the dog
                                            ~ Jim Clarke

Aggressor Who ?
                                            ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip
                                            ~ from Tom Antion

NEW DISCUSSIONS

Rejection Slips
                                            ~ Gunjan

Indian joke (and we're not talking of Gunjan)
                                            ~ Scott Simmerman

Interesting Ad
                                           ~ Gunjan

Indigestion Making you Groan?
                                            ~ Gunjan

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR

THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

----------------   SPONSOR MESSAGE   -----------------

STOP paying more for your printer supplies than what you
paid for your printer! We're here to save YOU money!
Inkjet cartridges, Complete-n-Easy refill ink kits, JetPak
Mailers, InkSaver software, toner and more!

* psst... our newsletter subscribers always get a 10%
Discount! (simple details sent right after sign up!)

Come Save Now at MaxPatch Ink Supplies!
http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh

----------  Please Support Our Kind Sponsor  ---------

Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------

Dear LaughMates,

All those of you have waited impatiently for the whole week
to hear the joke Scott Simmerman sent in, your wait is finally
over.

Recognizing and honoring your impatience, let's get straight to
I-Laugh 133, with no ado ...

With best wishes
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
--------------------------------------
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

P

P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com


Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments

----------
The Other Moderator's Comment
----------

Dear LaughMates.

Today's story is about fears. My life is filled with them.
Doing tax returns, everything I do affects someone's
life in far-reaching ways.

Will they be audited?
Did I leave something out?
Did I do it right?
Will anyone realize just how stupid I really am?
Did I take advantage of all credits and loopholes?
Can I meet the deadline?
more...too many to list here....

And so, here I sit, day after day, night after night, trying to
meet the final deadline for the year. (Today) And what
kind of little shocks do I find? Some good. Some bad.

1) One of my clients, who's usually a last-minute kind
of person, with really messy books, which takes me days
to sort out - turns out that she sent me her stuff back at
the end of March - in good shape. And this is the first
time I've even dared to look at it. How embarrassing.
Calling them, across the country (and the world), with
my abject apologies, they console me in my grief.

2) Another client, who constantly plays the helpless,
hysterical damsel in distress, still hasn't gotten me
one piece of information for her deceased husband's
trusts. And I can't reach her because she doesn't
seem to have a home phone number, never answers
her cell phone, and hasn't the sense to request the
free voice mail her cell phone provider provides.
Naturally, without communication, last year I omitted
nearly $20,000 of income from her return. When I
amend (file a correction) the 2001 return, I find there
were enough unused losses (passive losses that
sit there waiting for income before you can use them)
to absorb the income, without increasing her taxes
one dime. Whew! The penalties might have been in
the thousands - and I would have paid them. What a
relief.

3) A new client last year, whose return my ex-partner
prepared, turned into a nightmare, last year. I'll
admit to putting it off until I could focus all my attention
on it. Sitting down with it this week, I find their data
so well organized that they've even done a complete
work up of their return on the Turbo Tax software.
Sure, some things were missing, but, hey, that's why
I get the big bucks. Unfortunately, doing the return
myself this year, I find that my ex left off some losses
in 2001. He shorted their refund by nearly $600. So,
this year, instead of amending the old return - I had to
give up my fee. (TaxMama's law: It's easier to do things
yourself than to review other people's work.)

Anyway, this week has been a roller coaster ride. Fun
and scary, exhilarating, as you make those sharp turns,
leaving us breathless at times, from either laughter or
shock. Certainly, at all times, we felt alive.

Aaaahhh, but what's with all this unconscious humming
and singing while we're working? Are we supposed to be
enjoying this experience?


Eva Rosenberg
You are invited to subscribe to these useful publications - FREE!
http://taxmama.com/subscribe/ Where taxes are fun!
http://www.helpdeskwebreview.com/ Ask us Anything!

Start 10 Businesses Online Without Spending a Dime
http://www.1automationwiz.com/app/aftrack.asp?AFID=78247

P.S. We just installed our last toner cartridge - we'll be calling
MaxPatch really soon.  http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh
And we're down to our very last ream of paper.

NEW! Save big tax bucks - 'Should I Incorporate?' Teleseminar
http://taxmama.com/AskTaxMama/230/entities.html

------------------------------------------------------------
Do you know the difference between caveat emptor and
an empty bowl of caviar? Likewise, if you've been carjacked,
are you the victim of a robbery, burglary, or are you just happy
to finally be rid of that 1983 Chevy Nova?

In If It Does Not Fit, Must You Acquit?, you will find the answer
to these questions and hundreds of equally silly questions. More
importantly, you will learn the fundamental principles of our legal
system.

Follow this link and enjoy one of the best Book Descriptions that
I have come across...

http://snurl.com/acquit
------------------------------------------------------------

=====  CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========

===> Three Men in a Boat

This is the most joyous book ever written, full of much
equally profound yet funny stuff. No one has duplicated
what he has done. And, if you ever get the chance, get the
audio version of it read by Ian Carmichael. I have it--and
listen with some regularity, as his voice makes the tales spin
alive. Astonishing!

Amazon has it. Worth every penny--one of the few BOTs
you'll listen to repeatedly.

Jim Clark

Moderator's Comment - Just to save time for you ... ;)
Here's a direct link - http://snurl.com/jkjcd

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=3men

===> Aggressor Who?

Behind the scenes, tOM Trottier and I have been chatting
on the 'aggressor who' topic. The discussion is much too
long to reproduce here but I have to admit that tOM has
my strong bias wavering.

A more up to date version of the joke would probably be ...

After the Israeli soldier kills most of the cannibals, he along
with Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts all decide
to settle down and live in that jungle. The few cannibals who
had been able to flee the scene without getting killed also
return to the jungle after some time, and resettle themselves
quite close to where these guys stay.

Ten times the rains come and go (to borrow a phrase from
Kipling) since they've all settled in their new accommodations.
The Israeli Soldier and new chief of the cannibals each have
a 6 year old son by now. One day they are in the midst of a
fist fight when Uncle Gunjan arrives on the scene and asks
what the trouble is.

"It all started when his father kicked my father on the butt"
replies the son of the Israeli Soldier.

And Uncle Gunjan in his eternal wisdom, nods his head and
joins the Israeli soldier's kid in kicking the cannibal's kid.

(Just my way of my apologising for commenting on issues
I don't know enough about.)

With best wishes,

Gunjan

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=aggressor

===> Speaking Tip

Question and Answer Sessions

Question-and-answer sessions are great opportunities to
show off your sense of humor, get audience participation,
and make two powerful closings. Did I say two closings?
Yes I did say two closings.

One of the biggest mistakes I see presenters making has to
do with the handling of question-and-answer sessions. The
presenter does a good program, has a powerful close, opens
the program up to questions, answers them well, and then fades
off the stage into oblivion. The lack of a second powerful close
after the question and answer period could negate much of the
impact that was created throughout the program. Make sure you
have two good closes whenever there is a possibility of a Q & A
session.

OK. Now let's see how we can have some fun. A good way to
open up a Q & A session is to say, The last time I opened up for
a Q & A session, the first question I got was "What time is it?"
or "Can I be excused?" or "Aren't you getting tired up there?"
Say anything except the old boring Now let's open it up for
questions. To be a fun presenter you must take every opportunity
to do something different from the norm.
    
To prepare for Q & A sessions you should spend some time
anticipating questions and creating humorous answers to use
before you give the real answer. Be careful not to sound like a
smart aleck when delivering the humorous part of the answer.
When a witty response is offered to an audience question it
appears to be spontaneous, but you can easily be ready with
well-rehearsed responses.

~ from Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up
Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup]

Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606


Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...

http://snurl.com/impwit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

==========  NEW DISCUSSIONS =========

===> Rejection Slips

The BCPC_Writer's group has been having quite a
lively debate on how up and coming writer's handle
rejection slips.

Quite a few pearls of wisdom from various people
but what I really enjoyed was a message sent in
by JoAnn Wray of http://epistleworks.com fame.

Here it is for you in it's entirety...

After writing all these years, I've learned to see Rejections
as Evidence that I'm a writer working at the craft.

I keep all of them and should the IRS ever question my
freelance writing tax return, I have proof that I've been
hard at it.

JoAnn

Now all I have to do is start making enough money,
for the IRS to get interested in me and then I can dump
my entire collection on them ! ;)

~ Gunjan

Well done JoAnn. Every once in a while I read editorials
in my science fiction magazines about writers who'd
gotten repeated rejection slips. Many of whom, today,
are the biggest successes in their fields.  Me? You have
to send out queries to get rejection slips. I have 2 or 3
in my files from the '80s. Since then, I haven't had time.
Although, I suppose e-mail rejections are quite the same.
Don't give up. Editors admire persistence - as long as the
quality improves. (You have no idea how long Gunjan
pestered me.)

~ Eva

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=rejection

===> Joke

Hi Gunjan,

Don't know if you saw this.

Heading to Dubai in 2 hours - back in a week.

Scott


Indian Hell

**Contributed to Swenny's E-Mail Funnies
by Ajay Ambastha, Mumbai, INDIA**

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a
different hell for each country. He goes first to the German
hell and asks "What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the
German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.

He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many
more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the
German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long
line of people waiting to get in.  Amazed he asks "What do they
do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.  Then
they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian
devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells.  Why are there
so any people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work,
someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former
Gov't servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the
canteen..."

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=IndianHell

===> Interesting Ad

A few days back I started looking through interesting
Halloween ads to add to my sites. (Remember I'd
mentioned some time back how I nowadays search for
products which really match my site ... talk about
backhanded compliments ;)

Here's a product description I found, which had me
floored...

(To appreciate it completely you need to see the
picture which unfortunately I can't reproduce in
this plain text version, so you'll have to work
backwards and follow the link first, even before
you're hooked by the ad ...
http://snurl.com/treehug
Now that you have the picture in front of you, enjoy
the product description ...

Ouch! This tree-hugging grandma of Halloween could definitely
use better directions, like the kind we give you to make this
whimsical 48"-tall yard decoration. And with our full-size patterns,
you can knock out the construction and painting in an evening,
which is quite a trick, not to mention a treat for those lucky
enough to see a sense of humor so well crafted.

Like it ?
 
Gunjan

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=InterestingAd

===> Groaner's Digest

Jest in case you had subscribed to Dr. Stan Kegel's
Groaner's Digest after May 2003 you must be
groaning with indigestion without an issue for the last
15 days.

Please note due to server problems Dr Stan lost his
database and his last backup was in May so there's
no way he can contact you.

To subscribe again visit
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners

Gunjan

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Groan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

A breakthrough e-book which will show you how to build an
electronic marketing business from "square one" into a
five-figure . . . six figure . . . even a million dollar asset.

Adds Tom Antion "I don't have a tremendous amount of
basic computer knowledge. The technical stuff doesn't even
interest me. . . .
I like to write deposit slips, not programs.
I do know where to "click" to make money and this E-book
was designed to make it easy for you to click in the right place.

Adds Gunjan "Start by Clicking here" :-)
http://snurl.com/click
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

===========  This week's Humor ==============

Modern Furniture

The junior executive had been complaining to his
wife of aches and pains.

Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving
home from work one night, he informed her, "I finally
discovered why I've been feeling so miserable. We got
some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago, and
I just learned today that I've been sitting in the
wastebasket."

(Thanks tOM)

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

===========  This week's Stress Reliever? ==============

A Twisted Version of a Simple Game (but it maybe fun to
play especially at this time of the year.)

http://www.sum1.com/matt/murder.html

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh :
http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml

FAQ, Information & Archives at our website,
http://workinghumor.com

Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg

YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh
electronically free of charge, under the following
conditions:

First: The author of the piece receives full credit,
with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact

Second: The following byline is included.
"This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh,
Your Working Humor Discussion List.
http://www.workinghumor.com
Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

However, if you are getting paid for your  publication
(it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to
contact us to arrange a payment  to us for the material
you are using.

A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..

Home

I -Laugh

Info for Newbies
Submission Guidelines
Archives
Articles Index
Advertise


Business Cartoons

Resources

Selling Humor

Professional Humor
Medical Humor
Educational Humor
Military Humor
Advertising Humor

If you've had enough 'Serious' Humor relax in our 'pun' zone -
Jest For Pun

About Us

Contact Us



If you had learnt French and its getting rusty
you're in the same boat as us.
Join us as we share jokes, funny poems etc
(along with help files) and row hard ;!
Facebook Page
Blog



WorkingHumor.com now has a Facebook Page. It's still a baby, hasn't learnt how to dance yet
but maybe you're the one we're waiting for, to get the party started ;o!
Check it out here

Custom Search