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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

5th November 2003    #     Issue 136
There are many scapegoats for our sins,
but the most popular one is Providence.
~ Mark Twain


Moderator's Comment -
                                                                   ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                                   ~ Eva


Speaking Tip
                                               ~ from Tom Antion


                                        ~ Gunjan

Contrasting Thoughts
                                        ~ Gunjan



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Moderator's Comments

Dear LaughMates,

Interoffice Memorandum

The only people who should really sin
Are the people who can sin with a grin,
Because if sinning upsets you,
Why, nothing at all is what it gets you,
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
And that is to have either a clear conscience, or none at all.

~ Ogden Nash

P.S - Please reply to this memorandum within 36 hours
of receipt, failing which you shall no longer have a clear
conscience ! Please, send your replies to:
Awaiting your replies ...


With best wishes
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates

Reply to Interoffice Memorandum

Sinning is fun, when you're not the only one.
Wicked pleasures are grand, and put you in demand.
All want to share, but very few will dare,
To join in the fun, as you frolic in the sun,
Instead of staying indoors, taking care of your chores.

And that's my 2 cents worth.
Off to Hawaii (with a clear conscience*) this week...so you
can see, I am taking my own advice.

See you next time...

Eva Rosenberg
You are invited to subscribe to these useful publications - FREE!
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* That was Gunjan butting in ! ;)

Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...



===> Speaking Tip

Funny props by Tom Antion

I almost always use some kind of funny prop when doing a
presentation that is supposed to have a high percentage of humor.

Some props are just funny looking themselves, . . . like putting
an Elvis wig on yourself or an audience member.

Other props need an explanation to be funny. I use a little odd
looking piece of plastic that holds socks together so they
don't get lost in the washing machine. It's not obvious what the
prop is until I tell the audience what it does and why I so
desperately need a sock organizer.

I like props because they offer a different way of keeping the
audience member's interest. The concept of "keeping interest" is
the cornerstone of my entire "Wake 'em Up!" speaking system.

Funny props also take some of the pressure off of you to be glib
with your humor. You may want to add some humor to your
presentations and you may realize the value of doing so, but you
may not feel confident enough to pull it off. Props can save the
day because funny looking ones can carry the load for you because
they inherently get laughs even if your timing is not perfect.

This doesn't mean that props don't take skill and practice. You
have to know when they should be seen and when they should be
hidden. And if they are hidden, you need to know just when the
right time is to reveal them. If you are on camera, you need to
know how to hold them so they are seen by the camera.

Start looking for funny props and I highly suggest buying the
massive prop and costume catalog from Morris Costume in
Charlotte, NC (They're old world, they don't have a website and
you'll pay for the catalog and they have order minimums, but I
can tell you that I've gotten massive laughs for many years with
stuff I've bought from them) Call them at 704-348-3020

from Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking' newsletter.
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]


Comments or if have you a tip to share -

Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion


==========  NEW DISCUSSIONS =========

===> Signatures

Dear Laughmates,

It's been a while since we discussed signatures (in emails,
posts to discussion groups and other electronic communication)
and their importance. The last time we had discussed it (if I
remember right) we had taken the example of a person who
was using it all wrong. Today let's check out some specimen
signatures of a person whose signatures are as interesting
as his posts and therefore not to be skipped.

They were posted to the Laugh Lovers group. (I'm sorry I can't
include the entire posts as they're quite long. But I'll forward them
to you personally if you'd like to see them.) Of course the signatures
are normally much more hilarious after the message (in some cases
they're funnier than the rest of the message ;) but I think you'll get
the gist from the subject lines.

Date - 30th Sep
Sub -  I just had to share this little joke
Signature -

More than 45,000 visitors and no house guests.
Am I lucky or what?

Date - 30th Sep
Sub -  Weapons of Mass something
Signature -

Cartoons - Weapons of Mass Confusion.
See them now or be forever laughless!

Date - 11th Oct
Sub -  Koo Koo Kramer HEADLINES
Signature -

Go see them under the Writing, Humor Writing links.

Date - 26th Oct
Sub - Kramer's Center for Disease Control Discovers New Diseases...
Signature -

My cartoons are like diseases.
They grow on you and consume you!

Date - 3rd Nov
Sub - Kramer's Top 40+ Medical Hits...
Signature -

My cartoons deserve Top 40 billing.
You come and buy some and I bill you. Get it?

Ok. Now let's do a quick poll. How many of you

a) couldn't resist taking a peek at Kramer's site ...


b) were tempted, but haven't yet visited cause the
cat was crying for cattention or whatever ...


c) would have been more tempted if the signature read ...

Safety Harbor, Florida
Phone : 727-726-0308


d) feel that signatures are not possible without fountain pens...


Let's hope we have some great participation this time. In fact
I'm sure as a prize for participating Kramer would be happy
to let you look at his cartoons ! For FREE !! ;)

Best Wishes,
Probably the Laziest Wz-ard in the world !
(As you'll see from the cobwebs around this site)

Comments  -

===> Contrasting Thoughts

Dear Laughmates,

We are very fond of breaking ourselves into groups. (Actually
I look at it more as getting ourselves together into groups but that's
irrelevant at the moment). We group ourselves by nationalities,
religions, race, color, economic criteria, etc, etc. I mean do you
belong to the Ferrari Owner's Group or the Publicly Denounce and
Privately Envy Ferrari Owner's Group ? ;)

What's amusing is how vehemently each group enjoys
denouncing the others. And yet so often all it needs is a
 little tug to shift one from one group to another, as
amply described by these two passages from my
current favorite book. (I'm sure you can guess which
book I'm talking about ... I've just finished putting up
a page of Humorous Quotes from it
http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/boat.shtml )  

We had a good deal of trouble with steam launches that morning.
It was just before the Henley week, and they were going up in large
numbers; some by themselves, some towing houseboats. I do hate
steam launches: I suppose every rowing man does. I never see a
steam launch but I feel I should like to lure it to a lonely part of the
river, and there, in the silence and the solitude, strangle it.

There is a blatant bumptiousness about a steam launch that has the
knack of rousing every evil instinct in my nature, and I yearn for the
good old days, when you could go about and tell people what you
thought of them with a hatchet and a bow and arrows. The expression
on the face of the man who, with his hands in his pockets, stands by
the stern, smoking a cigar, is sufficient to excuse a breach of the peace
by itself; and the lordly whistle for you to get out of the way would, I
am confident, ensure a verdict of "justifiable homicide" from any jury
of river men.

They used to HAVE to whistle for us to get out of their way.  If I may
do so, without appearing boastful, I think I can honestly say that our one
small boat, during that week, caused more annoyance and delay and
aggravation to the steam launches that we came across than all the other
craft on the river put together.

Now on to the next passage ...

At Reading lock we came up with a steam launch, belonging to some
friends of mine, and they towed us up to within about a mile of Streatley.
It is very delightful being towed up by a launch. I prefer it myself to
rowing. The run would have been more delightful still, if it had not
been for a lot of wretched small boats that were continually getting
in the way of our launch, and, to avoid running down which, we had
to be continually easing and stopping. It is really most annoying, the
manner in which these rowing boats get in the way of one's launch
up the river; something ought to done to stop it.

And they are so confoundedly impertinent, too, over it. You can whistle
till you nearly burst your boiler before they will trouble themselves to
hurry. I would have one or two of them run down now and then, if I
had my way, just to teach them all a lesson.

Hope next time you start cursing another group, you realise you may
be one of THEM next week. Also hope that recollection of these
thoughts will help you stay amused when you hear somebody cursing
'your group'.

With best wishes,

~ Gunjan

Comments  -

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===========  This week's Humor ==============

Max Levy goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all
over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives
him a clean bill of health.

"Max, you're in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. I'm not
a magician - I can't make you any younger", says the doctor.

"Who asked you to make me younger?" says Max. "Just make
sure I get older!"

(From JoLene's Daily Humor)

Comments :

===========  This week's Stress Reliever? ==============

When was the last time you took a field trip ?
In School ??? Yikes !! Take an ONLINE field trip
today and see how some of the things that we use
day-to-day are made ...


Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:


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