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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List

Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

12th November 2003    #     Issue 137
A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.
~ Don Herold
(To find out what it's worth in the carpet ... read on ;)


Moderator's Comment -
                                                                    ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                                    ~ Eva


Message for 'The Other Moderator'
                                                ~ Lane

Interoffice Memorandum
                                                ~ Ilah Monts
                                                ~ Mari Bontrager
                                                ~ Lane

                                                ~ Amberly
                                                ~ Gunjan

Contrasting Thoughts
                                                 ~ Mari Bontrager

Speaking Tip
                                                ~ from Tom Antion


Playing Agony Aunt
                                       ~ Gunjan



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Moderator's Comments

Dear LaughMates,

Can you hear me Louder and Clearer ? No ??? Shucks ! I just upgraded from my old P1 (Socrates) to a P3 (yet to be named). Shouldn't you hear me
louder and clearer now ?

I certainly hope so ... and more importantly I hope I'll hear louder and clearer and OFTENER from you all.

Sorry for the lack of personal correspondence this week. I've been just a tad under the weather. (And at the same time trying to battle a nut who has
sent me over 1000 mails today. The crazy (funny?) part was - I was deleting mails in my webbrowser so I could delete 100 messages at a time. With 401 mails in the inbox I deleted 100 and was left with 386. For a moment I thought my computer had lost it, then realised that, that was the pace that spammer was working at. (His send key must be worn out as hell ;)

Well, wish me all the best in this battle. If you don't hear from me next week, you know where to look for me, under a stack of Junkemail !

With no further ado, here's I-Laugh # 137


With best wishes
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
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The Other Moderator's Comment

I just put my husband to bed. He's chuckling...OK, he's laughing.

We were using the vacuum cleaner today and it wasn't working. Turns out the roller is completely clogged with these very tough fibers it's been picking up. They're all wrapped around the rollers.

We tried cutting through them. But there are too many. And as we cut some, new ones grow to replace them. They're spreading and clutching like tentacles. There's no way to stop them. OH NO!!!! They're taking over the whole house!


My hair is everywhere!

Oh my God! Is that Cousin It? No? It's Lulu. What happened to her? Ooops. She got too close. The hair sucked her in.

Amazing. And people complain about pets shedding. Well, my hair is as thick as ever. On my head and the carpet.

I think when I get back from South Carolina, we'll just be going out and getting a rake. That should do the trick, don't you think?

And you're worried about going bald? Gee, I wish I could share. I have everything in abundance.

Eva Rosenberg
You are invited to subscribe to these useful publications - FREE!
http://taxmama.com/subscribe/ Where taxes are fun!
http://www.helpdeskwebreview.com/ Ask us Anything!

P.S. Catch me on CBS.MarketWatch.com

A healthy schizophrenia
Small businesses need to create separate identity

(Oh and read Abby Ellin's Preludes column in the NY Times this Sunday.)

Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...



===> Message for 'The Other Moderator'

Have fun in Hawaii

~ Lane

Dear Lane,

Thanks for the kind sentiment. People were so nice, as only Hawaiians can be.

Best wishes


Comments -

===> Inter Office Memorandum

Good Evening.

It seems as though the majority of residents
on this terrestrial ball .
have chosen to have none at all.

Your website  is a joy to enter.

Ilah J. Monts

Moderator's Comment - Thank You ! It's really nice to hear that. Sometime back I'd submitted my site to a site review list (like Eva's Helpdesk) and one reviewer had commented Your website - It's a joy to exit ! ;)

Comments -

===> Inter Office Memorandum

It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar.
~ Jerome K. Jerome

Just About a Kitchen 'Zine

Comments -

===> Inter Office Memorandum

Looking around at the mess we are in,
there's a whole lot of sinning apparent,
with grin or without means nothing at all;
I do think sinning is inherent.

Now conscience?  Entirely another matter;
I have one, and it's very strong
But since I created it, I can over rule it
when I have the chance to do wrong.

I give me this freedom to sin as I choose
but prefer that other's don't use it.
My scruples demand that I ration it wisely,
but I fear most others would abuse it.

~ Lane

Moderator's Comment :

Now isn't that amazingly well said,
Hasn't Lane hit the nail on the head?
I wish 'most others' don't read that post,
Otherwise we'll all soon be toast !
~ Gunjan

Comments -

===> Signatures

The signatures were very funny. I may just swing by if I get a chance.

The Tactless One Who Puts Foot in Mouth Often

Comments -

===> Signatures

One reply out of 4744 people polled. Remember to ask for these kind of stats if you're ever voted Crookedest Cookie, Laziest Laughmate, Noisiest Nincompoop, Smartest Smartass, or any such Titillating Title by an Internet Poll ! ;)

~ Gunjan

Comments -

===> Outwitted (in reply to Contrasting Thoughts)

He drew a circle that shut me out -
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!
- Edwin Markham


Just About a Kitchen 'Zine

Comments -

===> Speaking Tip


These techniques are used by savvy presenters to really WOW the audience.

=> Split your story. Start a story near or at the beginning of your talk, but don't finish it. Build suspense by cutting off the story at a key point or just before the climactic finish. This builds anticipation. Finish the story at the end of your talk.

=> Refer to an article in a magazine or passage in a book, but do it in a special way. Pause and look up in the air as if you are thinking and picturing the publication in your mind. Then refer to the article by page number, left or right-hand page, passage's position on the page, etc. The audience will think you are some kind of genius. However, we know that you are just a savvy
presenter who memorized the information and delivered it with that special WOW factor.

=> Purposely omit material that you know will evoke certain questions. When the questions come, give a preplanned answer that appears spontaneous.

[from Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking' newsletter.
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]


Comments or if have you a tip to share -

Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion


==========  NEW DISCUSSIONS =========

===> Playing Agony Aunt

Don't you enjoy reading the playful Agony Aunt type of columns. One of my favorites is Dr. Science http://www.drscience.com (As per dictionary it won't
qualify as an agony column cause it doesn't focus on reader's problems, but I hope you get the gist of the type of columns I'm talking about ... )

What I love about this column is not really Dr. Science's answers, but the questions. It's a treat to see how many people have a witty question, the variety of ways of thinking on display and of course some of the questions themselves leave you rolling on the floor laughing.

Here are some great questions addressed to Dr. Science -

How do sunflowers know which way to face on a cloudy day?

If a picture is supposed to be worth 1000 words, how many
words is a computer  icon worth?

If music be the food of love, can I get fries with that?

If the universe is constantly expanding, why does it always take me exactly 26 minutes to walk to work every day?

We all know the earth is round. Is there anyway I can change this?

Who are 'They', and how do I become one of 'Them'?

I've heard references to the element of surprise.  I checked my periodic table and can't find it.  What am I doing wrong?

That just in the last couple of weeks ...

Now, I don't know about you, but when I come across a question like that, which tickles my fancy I always to love to imagine that I was the Agony Uncle to whom the question was addressed and see how witty an answer I can come up with. (On later comparison with the Actual Agony Aunts answers the former answer always seems to win hands down ! ;)

If that happens with you too, constantly, the game I'm about to suggest should be something that you'll love. Let's start it off in I-Laugh (we can shift it around if it becomes too heavy.) We create a fictitious Agony Uncle/Aunt.

Here are some of my ideas for his/her name...

Dr. Jest-er-ton
No-ah Aard-vark
Dr. Can Sultan
Clairly Idol
Dr. Green
Donot Wokhardt

Send in your ideas for his/her name

We should have him/her in place by the next issue. We'll start building up his/her personality, giving fake degrees, and building up some amazing credentials. At the same time we start bombarding him/her with the funniest
WORK-RELATED questions we can think off.


However, as he/she is fictitious, he/she can't reply. So how do we get replies? Any/All of us who enjoyed a question can play Agony Aunt/Uncle and reply to the question. Sounds like a Plan ?

~ Gunjan

Comments  -

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===========  This week's Humor ==============


you can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up.

you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

the Sun is too loud.

trees begin chasing you.

you can see individual air molecules vibrating.

you wonder if brewing is really a necessary step in the consumption of coffee.

you can hear mimes.

you believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

you ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

you keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!" even though you are the only one in the room.

your heart beats in 7/8 time.

you can skip without a rope.

you can travel without moving.

antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

you discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.

you begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.

you have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.

you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

(Thanks Dianne)

Comments :

===========  This week's Stress Reliever? ==============


(After you've enjoyed watching the special effects,
see if you can sign your name, without getting
distracted by the special effects. ~ Gunjan)

(Thanks Dianne)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:


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