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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
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19th November 2003    #     Issue 138
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't sit still and see another man slaving and working.
I want to get up and superintend, and walk round
with my hands in my pockets, and tell him what to do.
~ Jerome K Jerome
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                                                                    ~ Gunjan
________________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

Speaking Tip
                                                ~ from Tom Antion

IDEAS TO PONDER AND DISCUSS
                          On Idleness

NEW DISCUSSIONS

Interesting Articles
                                            ~ Gunjan

If a picture is worth a thousand words...
                                             ~ Gunjan

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR

THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

---------------------------------------------------
How well do you know I-Laugh?

What normally appears in this spot ?

I knew you'd remember that this spot is our sponsor's
spot. It serves to remind you to check your ink stocks
and if they're coming close to the red markings in your
ink gauge to visit our sponsor -
http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh

----------------------------------------------------

Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------

Dear LaughMates,

I-Laugh is late again. That's twice in a row. Last time the excuse
was ill-health. What's the excuse this time ?

Would you believe a silly excuse like I solved P.U.N.Y's
Faux Riddle #93 and had the honor of posting Faux Riddle #94.
At the time when I should have been putting together your issue I
was busy scheming a punny riddle, sending out clues, wondering
why no one had solved it yet, etc. etc.

Does it make any sense to play around when you should be working?
A couple of years back my answer would have been very different
from the one that I have today. At that time I believed all frolic should
come only AFTER you had finished your work. (And if your work was
never ending too bad for you ;) Today I believe that TO HAVE A LIFE
is as important as making a living !

(Of course I had to be reminded of this philosophy by a dear
friend. She had sent me some corrections/additions to her section
on my site.
http://www.workinghumor.com/dictionary/gussiedefinitions01.shtml
I had replied to her that I couldn't do it right now in the following
words ...

"This section gets aprox. 500 visitors a month as compared to around
90,000 for the quotes section, so you can see why I'm focusing on
that section for the moment.

I'm sorry that things have got so rushed up ... and I'm trying my
best to set them back in a way when I have time again to do
exactly as I please and not have to worry about things that need
to be done."

Her simple reply had been ...

I believe the name for this condition is "Life"!  (And "Living May
Be Hazardous to One's Health".)  Good luck with it all!

Naturally, this and a passage from JKJ (That's Jerome K Jerome to
you) helped to reset my priorities in life again!

BTW - If the next issue is late again, it might be because I'm
tinkering with Gussie's Dictionary or planning a playful way to
get you to visit The WZ-ard of CMYK -
http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh or even to get you to
participate here (as the German watchmaker said to the clock
that went Tick, Tick, Tick - "We have ways to make you
Tock ! ;)

Or maybe I'd have solved another Faux !!

With no further thoughts about future issues, here's the
current one ... I-Laugh # 138

;o)

With best wishes
Gunjan
Who would like to come up with a signature as catching as
Kramer's but can't think of one right now. Maybe if he
had looked at the quotes section of his site
www.workinghumor.com/quotes he'd have found something !

P

P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com

Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments

------------------------------------------------------------
Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...

http://snurl.com/impwit
------------------------------------------------------------

=====  CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========

===> Speaking Tip

VOICE CARE TIPS by Tom Antion

=> When speaking all day, if possible, disappear during lunch
and rest your voice.

=> Use a microphone whenever possible . . . even for small
groups.

=> Keep luke warm water available on stage.

=> Drink lots of water the day BEFORE your presentation.

=> Avoid alcohol, coffee and tea which tend to dehydrate
your vocal chords.

=> Avoid carbonated beverages which could cause belching.

=> Avoid any creamy food products like ice cream, milk etc.
because it cause phlegm.

=> Avoid screaming and talking extremely loud.

=> In cold weather wear a warm scarf, turtle necks, etc.

=> Warm up your voice before you speak.

=> Test different citrus fruits or fruit drinks (not sugary) to
find the best method for you to clear congestion from your
vocal chords.

=> Avoid clearing your throat excessively.

=> Start your speech out in a low range of voice. Crescendo to
peaks in your speech. If you start out in a high range of voice
and then try to crescendo, you may strain your voice.

[from Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking' newsletter.
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

------------------------------------------------------------
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

http://snurl.com/click
------------------------------------------------------------

====  THOUGHTS TO PONDER & DISCUSS =====

ON BEING IDLE.

Now, this is a subject on which I flatter myself  I really am _au
fait_.  The gentleman who, when I was young, bathed me at wisdom's
font for nine guineas a term--no extras--used to say he never knew a
boy who could do less work in more time; and I remember my poor
grandmother once incidentally observing, in the course of an
instruction upon the use of the Prayer-book, that it was highly
improbable that I should ever do much that I ought not to do, but that
she felt convinced beyond a doubt that I should leave undone pretty
well everything that I ought to do.

I am afraid I have somewhat belied half the dear old lady's prophecy.
Heaven help me!  I have done a good many things that I ought not to
have done, in spite of my laziness.  But I have fully confirmed the
accuracy of her judgment so far as neglecting much that I ought not to
have neglected is concerned.  Idling always has been my strong point.
I take no credit to myself in the matter--it is a gift.  Few possess
it.  There are plenty of lazy people and plenty of slow-coaches, but a
genuine idler is a rarity. He is not a man who slouches about with his
hands in his pockets. On the contrary, his most startling characteristic
is that he is always intensely busy.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of
work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to
do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting
one. Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.

~ Jerome K Jerome
(In The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow.)

==========  NEW DISCUSSIONS =========

===> Interesting Articles

Hey Laughmates,

In the last couple of weeks I've stumbled across some
very interesting articles (and bumped into some interesting
people while trying to get permissions to bring you
extracts of the articles.) Naturally I'll post them one at
a time so you can savour them. Here's this week's article -


Everything I Know About Sales, I Learned in Kindergarten
By Janis Dalessandro

(After much thought (about 3.5 seconds worth) I decided
that it would be more fun to include all the subheads instead
of ONE extract for this article.)

Be Like the Little Engine That Could
Do Your Homework
Get That Gold Star
Pick the Right Playground
Play Nicely with the Other Kids
Learn to Share
Know Who the Bullies Are
Clean Your Room
Sing your ABCs
Imagine What It's Like to Be in the First Grade
Bring the Teacher an Apple
Practice Good Citizenship
Take Naps

[ You can find the whole article at
http://www.d-oni.com/kindergarten.htm
(P.S - Don't search for Part2 or 3 of the article, they've
been added to the same page and the words "Part 1" have
not yet been deleted by oversight) ]

Can you think of anymore subtitles that were taught only in
your kindergarten ? ;)
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Kindergarten

~ Gunjan

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Kindergarten

===> If a Picture is worth a thousand words...

Dear Laughmates,

If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many words
would a sculpture be worth ?

http://kimondo.co.uk/liverpoolart/monument/monument9.html

Check this one out and see how eloquently it delivers it's
creator's opinion on the subject at hand !

Gunjan

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Sculpture

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------------------------------------------------------------

===========  This week's Humor ==============

The Procrastinator's Creed

I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

(Thanks Dianne)

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

===========  This week's Stress Reliever? ==============

Indians... Cool At Last? ;)

http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=17191

(Thanks Doc)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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