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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
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3rd December 2003    #     Issue 140
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.
~ Samuel Butler
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment -
                                                                     ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                                                     ~ Eva
________________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

Ambition and Obtusity
                                                 ~ The Doc

Speaking Tip
                                                 ~ from Tom Antion

NEW DISCUSSIONS

The dummies guide to bluffing !
                                 ~ Gunjan

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR

THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
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Moderator's Comments
-------------------------------------------------

Dear LaughMates,

With no ado here's I-Laugh # 140.

;o)

With best wishes
Gunjan
Who is still busy working on
www.workinghumor.com/quotes
to search for a quotable signature !

P

P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com


Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments



----------
The Other Moderator's Comment
----------

Dear LaughMates,

Sorry to be absent for so long, but I've been traveling.
I can hardly wait to get rich so I can travel first class
and have elbow room again. Thank goodness I'm not
claustrophobic, or I'd be  locked up by now.

Below, Gunjan talks about bluffing.

One of our favorite couch potato pastimes is watching
those old court dramas, like Perry Mason. We just saw him
elicit a confession from a witness on the stand (1950s)
with his bland bluff about a document, right in his hand.

Of course, we would never dare to do such things in
real life, or in business, would we? Well, read Gunjan's
Dummies Guide to Bluffing and see....

And speaking of dummies, my husband's favorite reading
material is the Economist. Naturally, like all men, he likes
to do his reading in the bathroom. (Not like this is a crowded
house with noisy, screaming kids and constant mayhem.
Heck, it's just the two of us. He has his own room for
reading and computers; his own well-appointed domain
in the garage; and a den. What IS it with men and bathrooms?)

Anyway, TaxMama just got a query from someone who said
she read about the site in The Economist. I am so tickled, I
can hardly wait to find the reference and leave the open
magazine, on that page, in his flushdom. See how long it
takes him to find it.

Amazing what seeds you sow, though, my friends. This is
undoubtedly from an interview done nearly a year ago.
The writer finally sold it to them...or they made space for it.
(Or it could just be something that I don't even know about.)

Promoting your business is so much fun, and so exciting.
But, goodness, it does take time away from actually
running it. No wonder people have entire departments to
do all that. But, hey, why let some employee have all the fun?

Eva Rosenberg
http://taxmama.com -Where taxes are fun!

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Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...

http://snurl.com/impwit
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=====  CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========

===> Ambition and Obtusity

In an Ambitious 'Rasslin' three-way (uh hum) that includes
Jerome K Jerome, Akira Kurisawa, and William (Bill I Am)
Shakespeare, it's over at the first bell.  Yessir, Ladies and
Gentlemen, unless your definition of "ambition" includes the
lowly task of getting up in the morning at least every other
day, the overly ambitious may be lean and mean, but
Mr. Doom is all that awaits them.  Before they can fire their
retro-rockets, their own inertia casts them straight into the
Macbethian inferno that Dante only vaguely understood.
Call it sinful/ call it too much pride/it's selfish ambition/
that they can't hide./  They may be pretending/ to some
lofty goal,/ but it's on the back of virtue/
that they plant their vaulting pole.

In a vicious taunt to start the match, Macbeth says, "I have
only vaulting ambition which o'er leaps itself and lands on
the other."  Jerome K. Jerome (was that as original as his
parents could be?) counters with, "the ambitious man,
building a pedestal for himself, leaves a monument to
posterity." As a counter-punch, he has telegraphed the
selfish nature of ambition far too easily, and the death
blow is dealt by Kurasawa (with his famous "Throne of
Blood" interpretive hold) who strangles JKJ with "His
downfall is the pride that accompanies excessive ambition."

If this one-sided match has any lesson, it would seem to be
that, indeed, ambition may result in monuments for posterity,
but those monuments may be warnings about building
pedestals for oneself.  Attempting to rise above the crowd
on a throne of one's own devising and for one's own benefit
may not be an exhalting example to follow, but rather a path
that should remain "the one less travelled by...."  It could
make all the difference.

(My ambition was to make this somewhat obtuse.)

TheDoc
"Stubbornness does have its helpful features.
You always know what you are going to be
thinking tomorrow."

===> Speaking Tip

Holiday Humor by Tom Antion

You look current and polished when you can tie your humor to
upcoming holidays.

I'm not talking about you saying, "Santa, Rudolf and Blitzen
walked into a bar" although if your joke made a point and was
relatively funny, go for it.

I guess my suggestions are just as goofey, but folks I have made
some really big money being a little goofey and entertaining
while speaking at events.

One time I got a bunch of antlered Reindeer hats and had all the
head table wearing them when I spoke. The pictures were hilarious
and they loved them. I think it made it into their newsletter.

I brought a Santa Costume for the president to wear and it
brought down the house.

Tell stories of funny things that happened to you at Christmas,
Thanksgiving, Easter, etc.

One time when I had my entertainment company I was supposed
to play Santa Clause for a kids party and I forgot to pick up some
batteries for one of the toys I was bringing. I was running late
so I ran into the mall with just a tee shirt, Santa Makeup, red
pants and boots. Parents pretty much started cussing me out to
get out of there before any kids saw me. So I ran back to the
car, put on the whole outfit and came back in just trying to get
to the store to get some batteries. This time a busload of 4 and
5 year olds saw me and were literally hanging all over me. I had
kids hanging on both legs where I could hardly move. They were
yelling, "We love you Santa Clause." hehehe -- Well I was a
little late for my party that day.

You could dress in outlandish holiday colors. I saw one guy
wearing a portable mistletoe hat.

You could write a parody song about the organization you're
speaking for based on a Christmas carol. How about this if you
were speaking for a food distributor?:

"Deck the halls with boughs of Jelly falalalala lala la la"

[from Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking' newsletter.
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

------------------------------------------------------------
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

http://snurl.com/click
------------------------------------------------------------

==========  NEW DISCUSSIONS =========

===> The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bluffing

Hey Laughmates,

I don't know if there is a "Complete Idiot's Guide to Bluffing"
or a "Bluffing for Dummies". Fortunately (or should that be
unfortunately) I can bluff pretty well and don't need any more
tips. However if someone does intend to write any of those
books my suggestion to them would be to have the following
as POINT NO 1 ...

'Make it Believable !'

Without this point bluffing seems so pointless. One of
my favorite tales on this subject is about old Tom who
always had trouble in this department. Tom had this
uncontrollable desire to exaggerate and because of it
nobody used to take his bluffs seriously. You just
had to mention that you'd seen a tomato that weighed
half a kilo or a had caught a fish that was 3 feet in length
and he would come back with stories of his farm which
had tomatoes which weighed a 100kilos or the rivulet
in his farm that had fishes 300 feet long.

So, as I was saying, nobody took Tom seriously and this
used to upset him terribly. He asked his good friend Bill
for advice. Bill told him the problem and gave him the
above advice "Make it Believable". "Well," said Tom, "I'm
so used to these tall bluffs that I don't know if I'll be able to
change instantly, but to help me why don't you tap me on
the shoulder as soon as you feel my exaggeration is beyond
believable limits and I'll try to cut my tale just a wee bit finer."
Bill agreed to help his friend out.

Just a couple of days after this chat Tom and Bill were chatting
with a Texan who started talking about his 100 acre ranch.
Naturally, Tom just couldn't resist and started telling the Texan...
"100 acres eh ... that's nothing !! I have a farm that's a ten
thousand miles long <tap> and half an inch wide !

This subject was came to my mind after I recd
the following 'sales' letter a couple of days...

Hey,

As you probably know, I offered 10 copies of the reprint
rights to my books for $497 each several weeks ago.

We had sold all 10 copies of the rights in a week, then I
took my payment link offline, as many of you noticed and
ended up emailing me saying you wanted to buy the rights
and asking how you could pay.

However, I had to politely decline you, because I had
promised rights buyers that I would only be selling 10
copies.

It's been 9 weeks and one of the rights purchasers, Mr. X,
has told me he has already made more than 17 times his
$497 investment back (which is almost $8,500).
Most of this is net profit, since all he did was send an
email to his huge lists promoting it.

Another rights purchaser, Mr. Y, has put the books
on CD and he's selling it via online ezine advertising and
offline direct mail. This guy's both an online and offline
marketer.

He told me he's sold 59 copies at $97 each already. And he
began promotions a few *days* ago, after having the books
put on CD. Of course, since he's selling the books on
CD, his $5,723 is not net profit, but I'm pretty sure at
least 90% of it is.

However, I've also had 2 purchasers return their copies
of the reprint rights. One of them said he was in the tape
duplication business and did not want to expand his
business to sell my books after all and that he was quite
happy the way his business was, and another order was a
"fraud" order, placed with a stolen credit card.

Anyway, I was thinking about it and since some of the
reprint rights buyers have already cashed in on my books,
I ought to offer a major discount to the rest of you who
have now decided you want to own the universal reprint
rights to my books and finally start your own journey to
internet marketing success.

So I'm going to slash a whopping $400 off the price and
let you have the universal reprint rights to my "xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx" books for only $97.

Click below to take advantage of this crazy special offer..

Also, the rights come with a 30 Day Money Back Guarantee,
meaning if you're unable to make your investment back
within 30 days, simply send me an email at xxx@xxx.com
and I'll issue you a complete refund of your $97 investment,
no questions asked, and take back the rights. Sell just one
copy of the books and make all your money back. Everything
after that is free money in your bank!

God Bless,
XXXXXXX

PS: Of course, the $97 universal reprint rights are only
being offered to the next 2 purchasers since I have to keep
my initial promise of 10 licenses and thus only have 2 more
rights licenses to sell. Once the first 2 $97 orders come
in, the link above will be removed permanently and I'll no
longer be offering the rights to my books ever again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This guy (who was supposed to be the next internet
marketing guru ;) expects me to believe that he sold all
10 licenses to his book in one week. Got another 10
enquiries which he had to refuse. He didn't bother to save or
hold back any of those enquiries in case somebody backed
out from his initial offer, so he can't contact any of those ten guys.
And now he is not trying to find those ten guys but trying to sell
to others, not at double or triple the price because the other
copies sold are doing so well but at one fifth the original price.
Maybe I'd have been more tempted to believe him if he had
said his book was ten thousand meters long... ! ;)

So, how good are you when it comes to bluffing? Would you
agree that "Believable" is the most important part of bluffing
or would you have another tip that's more important ?

~ Gunjan
The next wz-ard of Bluffing perhaps :)
www.exwz.com

Comments  -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Bluffing

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===========  This week's Humor ==============

The Moral Story...

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year,
and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every
way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend?

She was a dream. There was only one thing bothering me, very
much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My
prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini
skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down
when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her
underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she
was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check
the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She
whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had
feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and
didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to
make love to me just once before I got married and committed
my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to
go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was
frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she
reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned
and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and
stepped out of the house.

I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for
better man for our daughter.

Welcome to the family."

>

>

ant the moral of the story...

>

>


The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms in your car.

(Thanks tOM)

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

===========  This week's Stress Reliever? ==============

 http://www.heartfeltgreets.com/eatyoursd.html

(Thanks Dianne)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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