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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf mailto:email@example.com
12th February 2004 # Issue 150
I rationalize shop. I think a lot of women do that.
Like, I buy a dress because I need change for gum.
~ Rita Rudner
IN THIS DIGEST :
The Other Moderator's Comments
~ Jill Stranberg
A Colorful Post
~ Uncle Joe
Quick Colorful Tip
~ from Tom Antion
The Butt of a joke
~ from Dogs Don't Bite
When a growl will do
Thankless Job ... No Way !
THIS WEEK'S HUMOR
THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
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Issue #150. Wow !! Never imagined that anyone would manage to listen to my b*llsh*t for this long.
I salute each one of you ... especially those of you
who have been with us right from the first issue. I do wish you'd stand up and take a bow !
In this issue I was especially thrilled to receive Jill Stranberg's note. Seems I'm finally starting to get my timing right ! At this
rate by the 300th issue I should finally have a funny opening statement for you all.
In the meanwhile, don't waste your time on me. Have fun with I-Laugh # 150
With best wishes
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
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The Other Moderator's Comment
All this color talk reminds me of the '80s - the 1980's. Hmmm...what an old fogey. Some of you weren't even
born yet. But, waaaay back then, a new business fad was started up by Betty Nethery's book, Uniquely You.
(You've GOT to read the second review.)
Betty developed a color chart for women's wardrobes. No, no, it wasn't about how to match different parts of outfits, per se. It was
all about what colors went best with a woman's natural, or unnatural coloring. It was based on the season's.
Seems to have gone out of fashion? I just put "getting your colors done" into Google and got only 6 hits. Back then, it was the
Everyone was talking about getting their colors done. Along with the colors, a business uniform was developed for women. An
uptight-looking suit, with a splash of color somewhere (like a neckerchief or pocket hanky) and a tasteful brooch over your
heart. Women went mad over this fad. Pretty soon, everywhere you went professionally (and I did go everywhere then), women
were wearing these uptight power suits.
Having pulled back from the high life of networking and board meetings several years back, I haven't mingled with power women
in person for years. (Over the Internet, sure, but who leaves the house anymore?)
Well, a while back, I was a speaker at a women's function for a bank. There were a few other women on the agenda. Seeing
them brought back all those memories from decades ago. They were like clones of each other, with their power suits barely
different. Even their brooches were surprisingly similar. Thank goodness their skin color was different or I'd never have been
able to tell them apart. Really, it was eerie, watching one woman after another get up 'on stage' (ok, the front of the room) looking
just as tightly wound and intense as the last, wearing darkly-colored, conservative, matched jackets and skirts (no pants),
no distracting prints or anger-generating colors, all moving in the prescribed formula for successful speakers.
If you didn't know all about the formula. and the colors, you'd just think this was natural. Oh, they were good, but it was all
I could do not to laugh, watching the pre-programmed, identical routines. Or was it cry? Hmmm....I was starting to get
nervous. What's going to happen when I get up there and
break all the rules? Will the audience riot? Will the speakers turn on me and wrestle me to the ground, like a white cells,
excising a bad infection? Will my flamboyant prints, and loose, wild hair and gypsy skirt enflame passions - bad ones?
Drat. No such luck. When my time came, I went up towards the podium. Then, I wandered through the room while speaking
to the audience, smiling at each woman there, getting her personally involved with me. I didn't modulate my voice, simply
played with it, with expression and passion, and fun. I drew them into my colorful fantasy world where money is good,
but the only goal. Remember the fun!
OK, I was disappointed not to get disapproving looks from the very nice speakers. They were gracious to me, too. Even
enthusiastic. My first impressions of them as uptight clones, well...they're still indistinguishable - much like men in those
dark business suits. (Why do they still use those uncomfortable outfits in this century?)
Thank goodness for the Internet. My colors these days, are still flamboyant. My hair still wild. My gestures expansive. And
my heart as big as the world.
What is your favorite speaker like?
http://taxmama.com -Where taxes are fun!
Speaking of asking nicely ... come join me on a cruise, or two:
Herby Olschewsky's AffiliateForce2004
Cruise to the Bahamas April 22-26, 2004
Shawn Collins' Affiliate Summit 2004
Cruising from New York to Halifax June 24 to 28, 2004
Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...
===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========
===> Colorful Presentations
The color Analysis and best colors for presentations really came in handy! I happened to be preparing for a presentation
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the
freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away,
so knowledge sort of accumulates....
--Dr. A. Lawrence Lowell
===> A Colorful Post
Holland, as you know Gunjan, is the land of liberty and licence; a nation in which the inevitable is accepted and turned into law.
The red light district is one that has that Dutch touch, as is drug taking and no doubt many more.
It is therefore with some shock that I read of a ban on white sport socks. The Dutch Finance Ministry says these symbols of the 21st
century "transgress the limits of decent dress behavior". I am
myself a pretty conservative kind of guy and would no more dream of wearing white socks than of shaking my zimmer frame at a farewell
Rolling Stones concert.
In view of this civil service declaration it was with some relief I turned
to Tom Antion's colour psychology in your last issue. And I read that 'white' is 'pure, hopeful and clean'. Relief was immediately
For if the money men of Holland are not pure, hopeful and clean what does that tell us? And what may be the attitudes of the money
men of other countries?
And then I got the point. People are expected to dress in grey (integrity, neutral, mature) or dark blue (stable, trustworthy, calm)
suits 'in accordance with their function'. And all the employees of the Ministry are, I am sure, suitably grateful for this guidance.
However, no mention was made of what socks it *would be* all right to wear, nor indeed how to match clothes and function more
precisely. Were I an employee there I could nonetheless handle the suit dictat, but the sock thing would worry me.
It would be unwise to wear red (brutal, dangerous, hot, stop) but if I went for light blue I could be cool and refreshing, though there
is more appeal in purple, which would make me regal and mysterious. And wouldn't
orange / yellow be good (sunny, bright, warm)? And in the finance ministry surely green which is organic, healthy,
new life and Go Money would be perfect.
One better, I have to admit, is black; serious, heavy and
profitable. I just wince a bit at its other meaning: death. So I have
decided not to apply for a job there because, in the end, I refuse to give up my
white sports socks. Ah, they don't know what they're missing.
For a site of laughs and a FREE ezine:
For cricket lovers everywhere:
Batty Balls and other Wicket Wit
===> Colorful Tip
For flip charts, it's also advisable to use the W-I-D-E markers, not the standard width ones, if the group is any bigger than a dozen.
It makes you write big too.
===> Speaking (Presentation) Tip
Extra flip chart tips
Black, blue, and green inks have the greatest
Blue is the most pleasing color to look at with
(pleasing to look at and visibility
are not the same).
Don't do the whole chart in red ink.
Avoid purple, brown, pink, and yellow inks.
Use underlines to emphasize.
Make letters large and bold.
Permanent markers give the most vivid color, but dry out
if you leave the cap off and bleed through to the
next page. The
ink is extremely difficult to get out of
Water colors don't bleed as much and you can clean the ink
out of clothing, but they give less vivid
colors, and they squeak
You might want to reproduce your major flip charts in the
handout material for take-home value.
Don't pre-number flip charts when you are looking for
audience ideas. If you put six numbers on
the chart and
the audience can only come up with five
ideas, they feel
like they have failed.
Title your charts and use some type of graphic element
or artwork to make them more memorable and
~ from Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up
Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup]
Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe (free) why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]
Comments or if have you a tip to share -
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion
========= NEW DISCUSSIONS =============
===> Being the Butt of a Joke
~ Matt Weinstein and Luke Barber
(A couple of weeks back I'd told you about Matt's fantastic book in which he tells us to forget teaching an
old dog a new trick and instead focussing on how many tricks we can learn from the old dog. Well, here's a trick
I hope more and more human's manage to pick up. It's Lesson 21 - Dogs Don't Mind being The Butt of a Joke...
and it's reprinted with permission, of course !)
My wife and I had huge grins on our faces when we dressed Blue up in a party hat and sunglasses for her birthday photograph.
Blue barked delightedly as soon as the flash went off and then dashed around the yard in her hat and glasses, to everyone's
We get an even bigger laugh every night when, after my wife flosses her own teeth, she flosses Celeste's teeth as well. The way
Celeste sits down and stares attentively, waiting her turn as soon as the floss makes it appearance, always makes us smile. The way
she excitedly bites at the tiny strand of floss as it moves through her big teeth makes us laugh out loud. The way she wags her tail,
obviously having a good time thoughout the whole thing, is a can't-fail source of entertainment for us every evening.
Is this a case of "we're laughing at you, not with you"? Well, sort of. But the dogs don't mind at all. What's important to them
is that there is fun happening, and that they are having as much fun as we are. They are happy to sacrifice their dignity so everyone
can have a good time. If dogs were comedians, then taking a pie in the face would be their best routine. "Anything for fun" is
their motto. Like Shakespeare's Falstaff, dogs can take pride in being "not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other
A few months ago, I was being introduced to an audience of more than two thousand people at a conference in Tampa. The
woman introducing me was very generously building me up as someone really important with many credentials. Just as she was
finishing, I looked down and noticed that my pants were unzipped. I tried very quickly and unobtrusively to zip up my pants before
walking on stage. That was when I discovered that the zipper was broken.
There were two huge twenty-foot screens on both sides of the room, which would be projecting my closed-circuit image for all to see. I am
very animated when I speak, always walking the entire stage and often into the audience. I could not imagine standing behind the podium to
hide my zipper problem. So, I walked onto the stage, and the first thing I did was tell the audience that one would think that a person with all
those impressive credentials could at least keep his pants zipped. I explained my broken
zipper story as the audience roared with laughter at my expense.
The interesting thing that I noticed that day was that the audience was with me from the very beginning. We were totally connected.
Throughout my presentation, the cameraman occasionally panned down to get a good shot of my zipper and the audience let out
another roar. We had a great time together that day. My zipper dilemma turned out to be a wonderful way to bond with the
audience and instantly have their full support. I'm sure that my
willingness to be the butt of the joke was central to the success of my presentation that day.
Matt's book is available from Amazon.com. You can find
it by following this link ...
==> Thankless Job ... No Way !
Here's a para from another Dr. Mike post from the Laugh Lover's group ...
All kidding aside, there is responsibility in what our 3 leaders do for free. We should support their efforts. I don't know what
issues they have faced, but I know that drawing a line somewhere is their hard, almost-thankless task.
I say "almost-" because I am saying thanks to the Triad now.
I thought it was a great way to say 'Thank You' !
Whadya think ?
=========== This week's Humor ==============
Your life depends on (w)it ...
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking
guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's
afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the
little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits a down draft and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold
it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.
"So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better
=========== This week's Stress Reliever? ==============
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