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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf mailto:email@example.com
26th February 2004 # Issue 151
He emerged from the hotel and walked up Eight Avenue.
Two men were mugging an elderly lady. My God, thought
Weinstein, time was when one person could handle that job.
~ Woody Allen (in Without Feathers)
More quotes from this book ...
IN THIS DIGEST :
Moderator's Comment (Launch of I-Laugh Contest)
~ Scott Simmerman
More Favorite Speakers
~ from Tom Antion
Humorists have ALL the solutions
THIS WEEK'S HUMOR
THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
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After 2 months of discussions, brain storming, experimentation, more discussions and about 2 hours
of actual work ... Here it is - I-Laugh's 'The Master with Byte' Contest -
Please do take a look. I hope that YOU find it interesting enough to participate. And do share
your thoughts with us as to whether you like it
or not ... what could have been done to make it better... etc
With no further ado - Here's I-Laugh # 151
With best wishes
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
Jest for Pun - firstname.lastname@example.org
Jest a Quote - email@example.com
Jest in Literature (A) - firstname.lastname@example.org
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Please, send any comments to:
Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...
===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========
===> Favorite Speakers
My favorite speakers are engaging and interactive. Don't use a series of old jokes where I know 90% of the punchlines since
I'm likely to whisper them out for those around me wrecking things for all of us. Don't spend 20 minutes with some made-up
"relevant" Reagan-style homily/story to jerk a tear.
I HATE the "stand at the front and yell and tell" style that is
so common after attending a thousand of them over the years. And I generally don't like wasting my time with The IceBreaker where
I have to tell someone three things about myself or have to put some cute thing on my nametag that indicates something or other.
Be Relevant. Give me "Something I Can USE" in my own way. Let me have a voice. Let me work together with a group of people
on something of relevance. Let me actually learn something that I will remember more than 15 minutes later...
The best speakers get me involved so that it is OUR session rather than theirs and I walk away from it with something more
than a new quote or a new joke.
For the FUN of It!
Performance Management Company - 800-659-1466
- Tools for Training and Development <http://www.squarewheels.com/>
- Scott as Speaker <http://www.simmerman.com/>
===> More Favorite Speakers
Speakers who use old jokes make me, like Scott, groan too. Especially when they try to personalize and tell a joke that
about 14 people have forwarded to me as something that happened to them.
And yet, some people have the class to get away with old jokes. Sometimes their chutzpah knocks my breath out.
Take this example. Isaac Asimov in his 'Future of Humanity' lecture (http://www.asimovonline.com/oldsite/future_of_humanity.html
in case you'd like to read the whole thing) starts an old story by saying - "Let me tell you about a story I read in back in 1933.
There's a gentleman here who has a copy of "Before the Golden Age" in which I tell this story. I trust that gentleman
will not listen."
Imagine, you were in Asimov's audience ... and you knew the story ... you'd be so thrilled to be 'the one gentleman'
in the audience that there's more chance you'd whisper to your neighbour that you were 'The One' than whisper
the punchline and thus ruin the joke/story for him.
Also, there are the joke/story tellers who tell a particular story so well that you land up asking them to repeat it
even if you've heard it 10 times before. I don't remember a late night party in which somebody or the author hasn't
asked my good friend Akash to 'do the penguin.'
Other than these exceptions (always mind the exceptions) I'm quite in agreement with Scott.
The EXcursive WZard of Humorous Quotations
===> Speaking Tip
Fake Phone Calls by Tom Antion
This is so much fun.
I keep my cell phone with me when I'm on stage and I either have someone call me while I'm in the middle of the presentation, or I
just pretend the phone is vibrating and I have to answer the call.
Since the audience can't hear the person calling, you could fake the entire conversation if you wanted to.
Just recently I had the organizer call me on stage just as I was giving a small discount if the audience members wanted to buy my
back-of-the-room package. The organizer was telling me that the discount I was giving was not good enough.
We started arguing about it on the phone which was making the audience members laugh.
Note: If you've listened to my 2 hour album on "Selling a Ton at the Back-of-the-Room"
that having the audience laughing in the middle of your close is
a very good thing.
I gave in and dropped the price a little more on the package I was selling.
Immediately the phone rang again, with the organizer telling me that wasn't good enough. We had another argument and now the
audience was really laughing.
I gave in again and dropped the price to the rock bottom and sold a ton.
You could pretend your mother or father is calling and nagging you about something. Or you could make up just about anyone that
will allow you to make your part of the conversation funny to the audience.
Make good use of your cell phone while you are on stage and those will be some of the most valuable minutes you ever
~ from Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking' newsletter.
To subscribe (free) why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]
Comments or if have you a tip to share -
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion
========= NEW DISCUSSIONS =============
Recently I made a post in the PUNY discussion group and putting the replies I got together ran
an item in my Jest for Pun newsletter which read ...
==> Dr. Stan Kegel's Celebrity Patients
If you haven't heard of Dr. Stan Kegel, puns are not yet an affliction with you. When he is not punning, Dr. Stan
has been practicing Pediatrics and Pediatric Cardiology in Orange County, California for 40 years. But on the net
we know him more for his punning and his pun lists like Puns-of-the-day, Groaners Digest, Jest for Kids, etc.
Just imagine what patience his patients would need if Dr. Stan keeps throwing as many puns offline too. If you can't, try again
after reading these celebrity encounters that we imagine he's had over the years...
Don't worry Mr. Washington/Mr. Gandhi it's just a little trooth ache !
It's absolutely normal Mr. Lindbergh to have a little weakness after a flew.
Mr. Einstein you seem to be inflicted by deeptheoryia !
"I'm sorry tell you this Mr. Charles but you've developed a heart condition. You've got arhythmia'n'blues."
Yes, Mr. Tyson. It's not uncommon for prize fighters to suffer this sort of injury. It seems your manager has run off with your money
leaving you with a bankruptured spleen.
Daffy, I can see your pants are down, but the real problem is your chapped lips. I can give you some medication for that. Shall I put it
on your bill?
Mr. Schulz, it's very unusual for a cartoonist to loose his voice, but it appears you've got a Charlie hoarse.
Well Moe, you've got to stop hitting those other stooges over the head. You've got a busted cap'o'Larry.
~ Gary Hallock
Sorry to tell you this, Ms. Nightingale, but you've got encepha-light-us.
I appreciate the secrets of growing squashes, Sacagawea, but I'm afraid I have some bad news. It's TUBERculosis.
Mr. Rhett Butler. I suspect you have Scarlett fever.
~ Jason Dias
I happened to ask Dr Stan if he enjoyed that post and he replied...
I got a kick out of it. In truth, I rarely punned with my patients but they frequently came in with riddles to stump me which I
would then use in Jest For Kids. I have been retired for the last month.
...and it reminded me of Dr Vasanth Shetty. The story about him and my son were in the very first issue of I-Laugh.
I imagine how it would have been Dr Stan had been treating my son ...
"Pops... We've got to and see Dr Stan Uncle"
"Why Ahlaad? Are you not feeling well?"
"No, I've got an ache in ..... actually Pops I'm feeling fine, but I've got a new riddle that's sure to stump him !"
A great scenario it would be, wouldn't it ? What do you do in your line of work to build relationships that would encourage
your clients to visit you even if they don't really need to ?
www.workinghumor.com - Let your
Humor WORK for you !
==> Humorists have ALL the solutions...
Such a hue and cry going on over Gay Rights currently. What do you think... should Gay Marriages be allowed ?
I loved this win-win solution by Rephah posted in the Laugh Lovers' Group...
I say, let gays get married! Then they'll stop having sex, like the rest of us.
=========== This week's Humor ==============
During the war, a squad of Marines drove up the highway between Basra and Baghdad. They came upon an Iraqi soldier
badly injured and unconscious. Nearby on the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar state, but he
was conscious. As first aid was given to both men, they asked
the injured Marine what happened.
The Marine responded "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway. Coming south was a heavily armed Iraqi soldier".
"What happened then?" the corpsman asked.
"I told him Saddam Hussein was a miserable piece of crap and then the Iraqi told me that George W. Bush was a miserable
piece of crap!"
"What happened then?" the corpsman asked.
" We were shaking hands when a truck hit us."
=========== This week's Stress Reliever? ==============
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