I-Laugh Archives
Your Working Humor Discussion List

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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List
---------------------------------------------

Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

http://workinghumor.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10th May 2004    #     Issue 158
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have always been very fond of them (drama critics)  . . .
I think it is so frightfully clever of them to go night after night
to the theatre and know so little about it.
~ Noel Coward

More Cowardly quotes at :
http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/noel_coward.shtml
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IN THIS DIGEST   :

Moderator's Comment
                                               ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                          ~ Eva
_______________________

CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS

Ethical Codes
                                ~ Gunjan

Speaking Tip
                                  ~ from Tom Antion

NEW DISCUSSIONS
Humor in Announcements

Poetic License? Yeah Right !

TWISTED LESSONS

THIS WEEK'S HUMOR

THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Moderator's Comment
----------

Dear LaughMates,

Everything around me seems to be getting funnier and funnier. Is it because the whole world is becoming a much more fun place or is that I have started disassociating myself from things which aren't fun ? I have no idea !

Phil's Inknews too (Did I hear anyone saying what's that? That's blasphemy out here. If you are a Laughmate you MUST know that Phil and Clara are our wonderful sponsors and have been almost from the time I-Laugh was born. Check out their Inknews newsletter at
http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh ) is getting funnier with every issue. In the most recent issue Phil just cracked me up with this one ...

"Humility is a strange virtue,
just when you think you have it,
you've lost it."

Without further ado, here's I-Laugh #159

;)

With best wishes
Gunjan
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
--------------------------------------
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com

P

P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:
64841-subscribe@zinester.com


Please, send any comments to:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments

----------
The Other Moderator's Comment
----------

Dear LaughMates,

Once upon a time, long ago and far away, I was at a difficult point in my life. My finances were nearly depleted. I was out of work, and looking. I was divorced and lonely. So I came home to my old community, to see if I could re-connect with my school friends.

Getting together with some girlfriends, who married into wealthy families and were home with small children was such a treat. They had the most fascinating complaints. Anna told Adi her big problem -  her (live-in) maid had run off with her (live-in) gardener.

I felt so much better about my insignificant issues. See, it's really nice to get perspective on your problems.

It's been a long while since I was back in that world. But I ventured back again yesterday, for Mother's Day. Listening to people around the table, they discussed a friend's big problem of the day. Their son is about to be Bar Mitzvahed (a rite of adulthood for a 13-year-old boy...with lots of Americanized twists).
http://www.mazornet.com/jewishcl/mitzvah.htm

The big problem? One of their friends held THE most amazing and unusual Bar Mitzvah party of the year just a few weeks ago, and the boy's mom wants her party to outshine that one. (The young boy? He's not even interested. He just wants to get together with his friends.)

So, can your problems compare?

Please, give me a break. Get some perspective.

Your Comic Guide,

Eva Rosenberg
TaxMama.com

P.S. AffiliateForce2004 has been re-scheduled to August 19th
to accommodate all the people on the cruise. So join us.
http://iafma.org/members/?aid=1082

-----------------------------------------------------------
Grumpiness CAN be cured ! And with kids the faster
you cure it the better. If the customer reviews on
Amazon.com are to be believed here's a sure-fire cure...

What Are YOU So Grumpy About?
http://snipurl.com/grumpy
------------------------------------------------------------

=====  CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ========

===> Politically Incorrect

A Code Of Ethical Behavior For List Subscribers

1. DO NOT EXPECT YOUR LIST OWNER TO UNSUBSCRIBE YOU.

You signed in. You better sign out yourself. Don't expect the listowner to drop the poker game he's in to help you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. DON'T READ YOUR ISSUES TOO CAREFULLY.

Your list host is a chappy trying to make a quick buck. Not a writer or a grammarian.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. TRY TO CLICK ON EVERY LINK AND VISIT EVERY SPONSOR.

Remember the list owner has a large family and you must do your part to feed it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. DO NOT JOIN LISTS WHOSE ADVERTISED PRODUCTS YOU CANNOT AFFORD

It is sheer arrogance to read lists that are beyond your means.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. DO SEND 'GOOD ISSUE/THAT WAS GREAT' MESSAGES

Like your dentist, your listowner too has fillings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6. DO ENCOURAGE YOUR FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES, CO-WORKERS TO JOIN YOUR LIST.

Remember the more the merrier. (Especially for your listowner)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7. DO NOT SPAM YOUR LISTOWNER.

Your listowner has all the body parts he/she needs, in the appropriate sizes, and does not need a loan or a mortgage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8. DO NOT SET-UP AUTORESPONDERS

Especially when you are holidaying in exotic locations around the globe. As explained earlier your listowner has feelings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9. NEVER REVEAL ANY OF THE SHORTCOMINGS OF THE LIST YOU ARE SUBSCRIBED TO.

The listowner-subscriber relationship is a privileged one, and you have a sacred duty to protect him/her from exposure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. DO ADD YOUR LISTOWNER TO YOUR WHITELIST

Finding out that their newsletter is lying in your bulk folders is among the most important cause of suicides among list-owners.

~ Gunjan

Do let me know what you think of my list -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=ethicalcode

===> Speaking Tip

Great Microphone Tutorial

Learn all about microphones
http://www.digitalmusicworld.com/html/hardware/Microphones/MicroTutorial.php
(This link is really long. You'll probably have to copy it and
paste it in your browser window. Make sure there are no spaces in
it when you paste it.)


[from Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking' newsletter.
To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]

http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606

Comments or if have you a tip to share -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips

------------------------------------------------------------
Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion

http://snurl.com/click
------------------------------------------------------------

========= NEW DISCUSSIONS =============

===> Humor in Announcements

Dear Laughmates,

I am sure that you have heard that Google is going public. But unless you're subscribed to Andrew Goodman's I- Search (http://marketingvox.com/discuss/search/)
you may not have heard it in such style ...

THE NEWS IS OUT! GOOGLE IS GOING PUBLIC!!!
IT'S WORTH $20 BILLION!!!
EMPLOYEE #71 IS BUYING A BMW 545i!!!!
BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS WHAT WILL
GOOGLE BUY WITH ITS HUGE PILE OF CASH
AND LIQUID STOCK? SO IT CAN DOMINATE!!!
UP, IN THE SKY, IS IT A BIRD? A PLANE?
A GOOGLE-FOUNDER WEARING A CAPE AND ROLLERBLADES?

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=announcement

===> Poetic License ? Yeah Right !

... it is said that he [Charles Babbage, the inventor of the computer] sent the following letter to Alfred, Lord Tennyson about a couplet in "The Vision of Sin":

Every minute dies a man,
Every minute one is born

I need hardly point out to you that this calculation would tend to keep the sum total of the world's population in a state of perpetual equipoise, whereas it is a well-known fact that the said sum total is constantly on the increase. I would therefore take the liberty of suggesting that in the next edition of your
excellent poem the erroneous calculation to which I refer should be corrected as follows:

Every minute dies a man,
And one and a sixteenth is born

I may add that the exact figures are 1.167, but something must, of course, be conceded to the laws of metre.

~ Charles Babbage and his Calculating Engines

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=poeticlicense

-----------------------------------------------------------
Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...

http://snurl.com/impwit
------------------------------------------------------------

=============  Twisted Lessons  ==============
[ W h a t   I   L e a r n e d   d u r i n g   t h i s   w e e k ]

"Dishonesty pays... but only in the long run"

My Teacher : -

A lady, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. Being honest, and somewhat distressed, she went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened.

 She then asked what the animal was worth.

"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."

The lady immediately sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.
 
 "Here," she said, "is your check for $900! It's postdated  six years from now.........."

(Thanks to Funny Poetrezine
http://www.funnypoets.com )

Comments -
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=TwistedLesson

===========  This week's Humor ==============

To: Simon and Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence"

Hello Helpdesk, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a virus softly sneaking,
Blued my screen while I was working,
And the virus that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of neeping.

In restless dreams I teched alone
Full-up queues of brainless drones,
'gnore the cries of a brainless chump,
I turned my keyboard to the log and dump
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a blinking light
That split the night
And touched the sound of neeping.

And in the CentreVue I saw
Ten thousand starfish, maybe more.
Starfish talking without thinking,
Starfish hearing without listening,
Starfish making calls that make all techs despair
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of neeping.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know
Starfish like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Read my mails that I might reach you."
But my words like silent teardrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of neeping

And the people screamed and howled
To the techie god they called.
And the screen flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the screen said, "The words of the techies
are written in the F1 docs
not on Helpdesk clocks."
And whisper'd in the sounds of neeping.

(Thanks to Dr. Stan Kegel
http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners )

Comments :
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor

========= This week's Stress Reliever? ========

We missed this auction...

http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3584339137

... but do check out the Shipping and Handling Charges

(Thanks tOM)

Comments or Submissions of your own favorites:
mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I

I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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FAQ, Information & Archives at our website,
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Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg

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Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg "

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A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated..

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