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Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg  mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf   mailto:gunjan@workinghumor.com

16th June 2004    #     Issue 163
Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.
~ G. K Chesterton.

More Chesterton quotes at -


Moderator's Comment
                                               ~ Gunjan

The Other Moderator's Comment
                                               ~ Eva


Great Issue!
                                     ~ Jim Clark
                                    ~ Moderator's Comments

Speaking Tip
                                      ~ from Tom Antion


Self Introduction
                                       ~ Edward Lear

How to write a Robert Benchley Column
                                       ~ Robert Benchley





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Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

I got the idea for this issue, while reading "Chips of the Old Benchley". It was hilarious reading Old Bob doing a satire on the way he does his own columns. His justification for writing it was hilarious too. Bitten by the gardening bug, he just "wants to grow crocuses or tulips or something"
and "since he is resolved to abandon the belles-lettres, the only decent thing is to pass on the secret of word magic to someone else."

I think it's a hilarious idea. Someday, I want to make recordings of myself and see whether I'm fun enough to make fun off !

As usual, 'by coincidence', once I decided on this idea for the issue, I seemed to bump into so many other things that would fit in well. Edward Lear's introduction and Kirk Miller's limericks which were too naughty to go into the issue, but precipitated the change of title.

I had tons of fun putting together this issue. Hope you enjoy it
as much. Here it is... I-Laugh #163


With best wishes
Many a true word is spoken in Jest
Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com
Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com
Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com


P.P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to:

Please, send any comments to:

The Other Moderator's Comment

Dear LaughMates,

I'm sitting here, chuckling over Gunjan's selections this week.

Over the last couple of weeks, I was chuckling over his
selections of quotes in Jest For Pun

Did you know about his whole other site inside WorkingHumor.com?

Oh yes, it's a wonderful cure for your stresses and blues.

For me, his material found a more practical use.  To soften the
edges of all that stuffy, intense tax talk the book I wrote, I really
wanted some clever, light intros to each chapter. I didn't care
as much about whether the quotes were about taxes - just that
they be from people I like or respect - and that they would project
the right kind of silliness into the reader's mind. I found something
there for all 14 chapters, but one....for that chapter, I had to
visit Tom Antion's humor site. He has tax humor pages!

See, good writers can get everything they need, right here
on Gunjan's turf.

Well, the book is finally in the hands of my publisher,  McGraw-Hill.
It's going to look like this:

A Wall Street Journal reporter found it Amazon.com already!
Amazing the pull you have when you work with a major publisher.

Oh my goodness! I just got some signed contracts over the
fax machine from someone with whom I'm developing a
teaching tool. I put in a provision to pay him a royalty when
he retires, if he works with me for 10 years. He thanked me
for my consideration, telling me how nice that is, since he's
74 years old.

Well, before I die laughing, I'd better get to work on the next
article.  Have a great week!

Eva Rosenberg

Guaranteed to coax a smile from the grumpiest of grumps,
FURRY LOGIC is a charming little book with a big heart
and sly humor. Exquisitely detailed watercolor paintings
depicting animals caught up in the joy and drudgery of life
are paired with old adages given a new spin for our times.



===> Great Issue

I hope you make a buck on this newsletter, because your
comedy letter is worth every penny I pay! You always make
me smile at least once, and the piece on odds was wonderful.
I wrote something similar a while back for my sister-in-law
who was diagnosed with malignant breast cancer. It was
about how I came to belief in Christianity...how years of
doubting had done nothing but cripple me and how we
never live our lives that cautiously. It is a scam and a dodge
to claim to live that way, and I'm much happier going ahead.
I may be wrong about this, as I have certainly been wrong
about many other things (like that 1984 vote for Mondale!)
But I'd rather be doing it wrong than sitting on the sidelines

I subscribed to your humorous quotation letter as well...I
have a jillion of my own and will only enjoy more.


Jim Clark

Moderator's Comment - Thanks for the warm words Jim.
It's great to see that someone agrees with our opinion
for a change ...which of course is that EVERY issue of
ours is great !!!

As Robert Heinlein once said ...

Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinion about
her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness etc. adnauseum
keep her from drowning them at birth.

Comments -

===> Speaking Tip

Proverbs and Fortune Cookie Humor
(Note: Determine if this is politically correct for your audience.)

You can throw in a cute diversion to a boring speech by
attributing a saying to an ancient Chinese philosopher. Since
these sayings are not attributed to anyone in particular, feel free
to change or update them to fit your situation and to enhance
their humor.

(The term "original" here means as original as something can be
after being recited and translated for several hundred years.)

Original:      You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying
over your head, but you can prevent them from nesting in your
Update:   You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying
over your head, but you can prevent them from pooping on your
Gucci blazer.

Original:      He who walk on eggs should tread lightly.
Update:   He who walk on eggs should find out the price per

Original:      People who live in glass houses should not throw
Update:   People who live in glass houses should pull down the

[Another tip from the different ways to be funny
in Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up
Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup]

Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking'
To subscribe (free) why not use our affiliate link (given below) ]


Comments or if have you a tip to share -

Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for
Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion


========= NEW DISCUSSIONS =============

===> Introduction

How pleasant to know Mr.Lear!

"How pleasant to know Mr.Lear!"
       Who has written such volumes of stuff!
Some think him ill-tempered and queer,
       But a few think him pleasant enough.

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
       His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
       His beard it resembles a wig.

He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers,
       Leastways if you reckon two thumbs;
Long ago he was one of the singers,
       But now he is one of the dumbs.

He sits in a beautiful parlour,
       With hundreds of books on the wall;
He drinks a great deal of Marsala,
       But never gets tipsy at all.

He has many friends, lay men and clerical,
       Old Foss is the name of his cat;
His body is perfectly spherical,
       He weareth a runcible hat.

When he walks in waterproof white,
       The children run after him so!
Calling out, "He's gone out in his night-
       Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!"

He weeps by the side of the ocean,
       He weeps on the top of the hill;
He purchases pancakes and lotion,
       And chocolate shrimps from the mill.

He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish,
       He cannot abide ginger beer:
Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish,
       How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!

~ Edward Lear

[from The Complete Nonsense Book
http://snipurl.com/nonsense ]

Comments -

===> How to write a Robert Benchley column

Personally, if you ask me (and, so far as I have heard, nobody
has asked me yet, but I shall go right ahead just the same), I feel
that we, as a nation (and when I say "as a nation" I mean "as a
nation") eat too much buttered toast.

Buttered toast is all right, provided neither of my little boys
butters it (my two little boys seem to have an idea that butter
grows on trees, when everybody knows that it is cut in great
sheets by a butter-cutter [butter-cutter, butter-cutter where
have you been?] whence it is shipped to the stamping room
where it is stamped by large blonde ladies with their favorite
initials and done up in bundles of twenty-five to be sent to
the Tissue Paper Department for wrapping), but I do think,
and I am sure you would think so, too, if you gave the thing
a minute's thought, that there is such a thing as overdoing
buttered toast.

In the first place, you order breakfast. (By ordering breakfast,
I mean that you get up out of bed, go into the kitchen in your
bathrobe, cut three slices of whatever happens to be in the
breadbox [usually cake], toast it, and butter it yourself.)
The words "buttered toast" come naturally in any breakfast
order. "Orange juice, two four-minute eggs, buttered toast,
and coffee." Buttered toast and coffee must be spoken
together, otherwise you will hear from the State Department.

Here is where we make our big mistake. If, for once (or even
twice), we could say "coffee" without adding "buttered toast,"
it wouldn't be so bad, but, as my old friend President James
Buchanan, used to say (he was President more as a favor to
Mrs. Buchanan than anything else), "You can't eat your cake
and eat it too."


But I do think that something has got to be done about buttered
toast. I am not one to cavil (cavil me back to Old Virginny) but
I do think, if you ask me (and I don't remember anyone's asking
me [oh, I guess, I said that in the beginning of this article. Sorry!]),
I do think, personally, that - where was I?

(Extracted from the article The Menace of Buttered Toast
found in Chips of The Old Benchley -

Comments -

Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs
at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have
a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the
talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde
himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments...


=============  HISTORIC HUMOR  ==============

As leader of the opposition after World War II, Churchill soon
found that the only thing as obnoxious as Socialists' planning was
their jargon. The poor became "the lower income disadvantaged"
or "marginal stipend maintainers."

Churchill bitterly reacted to their description of "house" or "home"
as "local accommodation unit." He said in the House of Commons :
"Now we will have to change that old favorite song 'Home, Sweet,
Home' to say 'Local Accommodation Unit, Sweet Local
Accommodation Unit - there's no place like Local Accommodation
Unit.' "

Comments -

=============  Twisted Lessons  ==============
[ W h a t   I   L e a r n e d   d u r i n g   t h i s   w e e k ]

Be careful with Rhetoric.

My Teacher -


(This cartoon is put up temporarily just to share with
you what I learned this week and will be removed
by next week)

Comments -

Grumpiness CAN be cured ! And with kids the faster
you cure it the better. If the customer reviews on
Amazon.com are to be believed here's a sure-fire cure...

What Are YOU So Grumpy About?

===========  This week's Humor ==============

Everything I Needed To Know About Life - I Learned From Cows

1. Wake up in a happy mooo-d.

2. Don't cry over spilled milk.

3. When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories,
     no cholesterol, and no taste!

4. The grass is green on the other side of the fence.

5. Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on.

6. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth!

7. It's better to be seen and not herd.

8. Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives.

9. Never take any bull from anybody.

10. Always let them know who's the bossy.

11. Stepping on cowpies brings good luck.

12. Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement.

13. Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day.

(Thanks Dr. Stan Kegel ... Groaners Digest

Comments :

===========  This week's Stress Reliever ==============

A rose by any other name ...


(Thanks tOM)

Comments :


I-Laugh is edited by:
Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com

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