Limericks
By Cynthia MacGregor 

Juan's wife's stories--never a borer.
For her cooking he'll really adore 'er.
His one complaint deep?
"The sounds when you sleep!
You're a hell of a noisy señora."
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All animals know what they're after
Good health and long lives and loud laughter
Our relatives simian
(Both males and wimian)
Let their joy ring from giraffter
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Of golf I know little at all
Except that you chase a white ball
    While practicing cursing,
    Your temper reversing,
And this they call "playing"? What gall!
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A Val's Day spent solo, I'll tell ya,
Is no way the nadir or hell. Yeah,
    Alone is okay.
    What makes a bad day
Is when you're stuck with the wrong fella.
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A poet's wife uttered a curse.
"You'd rather rhyme than fill our purse."
Her husband said, mildly,
"Don't carry on wildly--
You married for better or verse."
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The question, it seems, of the day,
And one that just won't go away,
Is, What's the solution
To aqua pollution
And water we going to pay?
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This tale's of a dyslexic who
Bank-robbed with some help from the zoo.
    His heist, though he planned it,
    Turned strange, for the bandit
Wrote, "Give me cash. I have a gnu."
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I used to like Texas a lot.
It's home of the Pun-Off*, and hot.
    But it gave us Dubya.
    Now doesn't that troublya?
Do I still like it? Well, Not.
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* The O-Henry Pun Offs held by P.U.N.Y 
Copyright Cynthia MacGregor.