Jest for Pun logo Limericks - Time
By Kirk Miller

We reset our clocks in springtime
'Fore the Sunday two o'clock chime.
Set your clock too early,
And then you will surely
Be known as ahead of your time.

Tonight we "spring ahead" in time,
So I'm sending this little rhyme.
If you like this lexicon,
Then please forward it on.
Just say that you're "passing the time."

The man was accused of a crime,
A big one, no nickel and dime.
As the trial began,
The judge said to the man,
"This, for you, is a trying time."

Baseball, with its grass, dirt, and grime,
Is imbued in our every clime.
You can always be sure,
Even in the future,
It will still be our country's pastime.

A good cook from the city of Lyme
Tried to finish a meal by lunchtime.
She started to dice
And chop the last spice,
But alas, then she ran out of thyme.

The boy really knew his math primer,
And was a scholastic climber.
He was very profuse
At multiplying by two's.
Yes, he was a real two-timer.

"This write-up of you," said his wife,
"Portrays years of fame and of strife.
Hey, this magazine, Dear,
Named you Man of the Year.
This is truly the "Time" of your life!"

"People can travel," said Albert Einstein,
"The speed of light in a gadget of mine.
When my in-laws go fast
Back into the past,
Relatively speaking, they won't be mine."

This poetry, I thought at first glance,
Is "timely," and maybe enchants.
People may recognize
That it warrants a prize,
But I don't think it stanza chance.

If money to me you'd disburse
For odes that were raunchy or worse,
In that case I could say,
In my deviant way,
"I guess that my pay'd be per verse."
Copyright Kirk Miller.

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