Jest for Pun logo Murphy's Laws on Money
(Murphy's Economic Laws)

Money Maxim :
Money isn't everything. (It isn't plentiful, for instance.)

Murchison's Law of Money :
Money is like manure. If you spread it around, it does a lot of good. But if you pile it up in one place, it stinks like hell.

Gerrold's Fundamental Truth :
It's a good thing money can't buy happiness. We couldn't stand the commercials.

Canada Bill Jone's Motto :
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Canada Bill Jone's Supplement :
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Buchwald's Law :
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Carson's Law :
It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Checkbook Balancer's Law :
In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.

Madison's Question :
If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first-class?

John's collateral Corollary :
In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

Pardo's Postulate :
Don't care whether you are rich or not, as long as you live comfortably and can have anything you want.

Billing's Law :
Live within you income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Donowho's Law :
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

Coolidge's Immutable Observation :
When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

Nameless Law :
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

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