Jest for Pun logo Murphy's Laws on Sins and Vices

The Sin Strategy :
It is better to sin and feel guilty than never to have sinned at all.

Mae's Observation :
To err is human -- but it feels divine.

Emerson's Insight :
That which we call sin in others is experiment for us.

Puritan's Law :
If it feels good, don't do it.

Korman's Conclusion :
The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again.

Field's Rationale for not Drinking Water :
Water rusts pipes. 
(A second Rationale about 'Fish ****ing in it' is unprintable.)

Clark's First Law of Relativity :
Don't try it: you cannot drink enough of your in-laws' booze to get even before your liver fails.

Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy :
Everybody should believe in something - 
I believe I'll have another drink.

Rev. Mahaffy's Observation :
There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

Dean Martin's Definition of Drunkenness :
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Twain's Diluted Advice :
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collector's - and miss.

Runyon's Law :
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

W. C. 's Horse Sense Law :
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

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