Jest for Pun logo I'm no Computer Geek
by Dr. Mike Bass 

It's me, the man you know will make
A big computerized mistake!
I make one several times a week,
Because I'm no computer geek.

My laptop lives to make a fool
Of me, who missed computer school.
Its goblins and its evil ghosts
Sent several extra e-mail posts.

I have done worse than extra mail,
I sent some nude San Quentin quail
In pictures to my old Aunt Ruth
While trying to map downtown Duluth!

I start a cart at Buy-A-Pet -
A pop-up says I won Tibet!
I fill a form to get my prize,
But "Timed Out" pops before my eyes.
 
The dog I thought would be for me
Is playing Lassie on TV.
I reach to pet the dog at home -
The keyboard buys a trip to Rome.

I click some choice I didn't see,
And get "Dee Dora, Enter me."
I try to ditch this dude enslaver,
And she becomes my new screen saver! 

A scanner starts out on the blink.
A printer only works with pink.
The screen will freeze; I'll tap to scroll.
It starts, but rolls out of control.

My tech support's in some casino
While the Trekkies meet in Reno.
Or so it seems when I'm on hold,
Until I'm cut off, quick and cold.

They say to treat your PC well,
But, after damning it to Hell,
Is there a time in your recall
You banged the thing against a wall,

And stomped it 'til you plainly see
The guts of all that treachery?
Then did you hurl it to the sky?
Well, that's amazing! So did I!


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Copyright Dr. Mike Bass
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Kids Costumes

Dr. Mike is the life and soul of the Laugh Lover's Group. (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LaughLovers/ ) I asked him to send me a few lines about himself to be added here but it's tough chore with his computer in the sky. We'll wait for its descent. In the meanwhile here's an extract of a post of his in the above mentioned group - 

I'm not mean and bad. I'm nice and good. Don't go by my words, actions, and reputation. That's just superficial patina. That's Show-Biz. If you want to know what I'm REALLY like, way down deep where cells have not even differentiated yet, just ask my patients - no - they are suing me at the moment. Ask my family - - no - they're not back from that protection agency yet. Ask my brother - - he likes me - - he let me give him a kidney once - - no, I owe him wrongful death money for his wife.

Well, I"ll tell you then. The rumor that snakes bite me when they get low on venom is just not true! Neither is the claim that scientists have developed a series of painful injections that bats gladly take if I bite them! I am being wrongfully besmirched by those who say that they prefer vampires to me because "vampires at least have something to drive a stake into." And don't believe for a minute that I was made an honorary lawyer!

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Comments, Suggestions and Additions on my little rhymes are most welcome.
Gunjan