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AND NOW THE NEWS:
Little Jack HORNY was just arrested for Bo-PEEPING in Mistress Mary's window, where he was watching her and a Little Miss MUFF IT. He SPIED'ER and began to pull with his thumb till he was PLUM ready to come.
Meanwhile Jill JACKed her longtime beau, pulling his pud from crown to thatchy down, and he had no sooner gotten off than she CAME, tumbling after.
"Jack the giant" is a killer too, with a *bien* (French for
"good") stalk that has all the girls going ga-ga.
Another candidate for Masturbator of the Year is Georgie-Porgie Pull-the-Pud Pi (why "Pi"? Because his tool are square!), who doesn't
like girls nearly as much as he enjoys Barbar, his black sheep. Mother got goosed while watching this shocking display. Who's the guilty party?
Why, it's Robin Redbreast, that notorious party girl whose boobs are raw from sucking. Georgie Porgy, feeling a bit less sheepish than usual,
found out that a certain short movie actress is into "water sports," a
sexual kink he's recently become fond of, so he arranged for a rendezvous. Tinkle, tinkle, little star.
And that doubly endowed chap, Peter-Peter, gave up eating pumpkins in favor of pussy but could never locate the clit correctly. He's such a
male chauvinist he didn't even care, but belatedly he had a change of heart and, having finally found Mistress Mary's point of pleasure,
the male chauvinist went to find a pen so he wouldn't miss it again.
Yes, this little piggy went to mark it. Unfortunately, he's been so busy balling every chick he could find, he's paid no attention to his
house, which is now overrun with mice, and last night, as he lay in bed watching a XXX video, Hickory
Dickory, a rodent doc, scampered up on his
bed and ran up his cock.
That's all the news for now from Fairyland, and now the latest from mythology. Our top story is about the girl who wants to Leda swan
astray....
He made off with the lute!
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The doctor told Harry he could either walk a mile daily for exercise or
else spend an hour with a young lady in vigorous horizontal exercise,
and either would give him the workout he needed. Harry chose the young
lady, of course. His best friend was skeptical of the medical benefits,
but Harry had a ready answer for him, which was?
A Miss is as good as a Mile !
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There'll be hell toupee if this ever gets out, but the last guy I bald had a
very wig sex drive and instead of rugging my boat he upset my applecart. I
pate for that experience with frustration, and I thin I won't accept if he
ever again invites me to comb-over.
Cynthia's Web site
Cynthia's puns
Cyn's Limericks
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Cynful Puns (Adult)