Pun ny Oneliners Page 2
 

• I spent a lot of my money on booze, babes and fast cars....The rest, I just squandered. (Archives)
• When a guy says that he likes a woman's sense of humor, he ISN'T talking about her jokes. He's talking about appreciating his! (Archives)
• We're a fastidious couple... I'm fast.... She's tedious. (Archives)
• If you want a pretty nurse, you've got to be patient. (Archives)
• How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on
  the other. (Don Thorn)
• The more things change, the more they stay insane. (Doug Aiken)
• Wear short sleeves. Support your right to bear arms. (Goeff Tibballs)
• If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. (E4Fun)
• With everything you read about spray cans and the ozone layer it's
  enough to scareosol to death.  (Mike Bull)
• Many campaign promises are sound. Just sound! (The International Save
  the Pun Foundation)
• I just need enough to tide me over until I need more!
• Wrestlers don't like to be put on hold.
• My check bounced because of insignificant funds.
• Jan. 19, 1896 the first music patent was granted. The man who received it said he got it for a song.  (Bob Weaver)
• I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind. (Steve Allen) 
• A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge!
• Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids!
• "I needn't have been cloned," said Dolly sheepishly, "my family used to do exactly what I did anyway !" (Gunjan)
• It is rumored that Bobby Fischer got bored of playing chess with Russians. He asked the association to fix his next match with some other Europeans. It seems his telegram read, " How about a Czech mate?" (Gunjan)

Over 40 million used, rare, out-of-print books are just a click away!!

Have you checked out
 this super book?

Click Here

www.jkjquotes.com