- Headline: Two convicts evade noose, jury hung.
- Unemployment is not working.
- Headline: Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan.
- Cinderella was thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.
What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
- Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giant's fingers.
- In Baltimore, the Psychic Friends Network has filed for bankruptcy. They
say they never saw it coming.
- One churchperson to another: 'I can't remember your name but your faith
- Young Stan told his father that when he grew up he wanted to drive a big
Army tank. 'Well, son,' said his dad, 'if that's what you want to do, I
won't stand in your way."
- And there's the case of a pert and perceptive young lady of our
acquaintance. Her boy friend is currently prospecting for oil somewhere
in the Middle East. So she sent him a 'Get Well' card.
- At a hearing aid center: 'Let us give you some sound advice.'
- America has drive-in theaters, drive-in supermarkets, drive-in restaurants, and drive-in banks. What it needs now are more drive-in
- "Dear, must you spend so much money on food?"
but you and the kids just won't eat anything else!"
- Office door of NASA executive: 'Out to Launch.'
- What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence
- Some men thirst for riches, others thirst for power,
but I only thirst after salted peanuts.
- A tourist saw a sign just outside a Turkish mosque and asked the guide to interpret it for him. The guide explained, "It says, Please Don't
Salaam the Door." (Which reminds us to remind you that a Salaam done incorrectly is a false salaam.)
- Then there was the student nurse who got three demerits for being absent
- Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight.
These, of course, are only round figures.
- My wife just performed an act of plastic surgery. She cut up all her credit cards.
- A rumor is like a used car. To find out how far it will
go, the first thing you have to do is get it started.
- Father to his six-year-old-son: 'Words are very important. When you talk to your neighbors, just say your aunt likes to crochet. Don't call her
the happy hooker!'
- A lady wrote to an advice column in a newspaper: 'I have been engaged to
a man for some time, but just before the wedding, I find he has a wooden
leg. Do you think I should break it off?'
- When NASA puts 20 head of cattle into outer space, it will be
the first herd shot around the world.
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If you had learnt French and its getting rusty
you're in the same boat as us.
Join us as we share jokes, funny poems etc
(along with help files) and row hard ;!