It's not safe to pun ...
& other homesPUN tales by Tiff Wimberly

It is not safe to pun when...

you accidentally leave your portable phone on the windshield of your car and then drive off with it still on there and have your husband go and find it in a ditch about 10 PM at night.  I was tempted to say, "You phoned it where?" but I thought better.  Doing something like this really pushes his buttons and I just want to dial of embarrassment.
Tiff
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If you're looking for your phone in the dark, probably it would help to have some cellulite. If hubby is down on his hands and knees in the ditch, likely he'll touch stones.
Gary Hallock
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He was definitely roaming around with a flashlight taking up evening minutes.  BELLeive me, you could telly was not pleased about this.  BTW, this was't my cellphone it was my home portable telephone with caller id built in the back of it...if I just brought it back inside handset it down in the base none of this would of happened.  It was just a bad call on my part.  All of this is not going to ring it back to life though. Tiff

Sub - Plane Wrong

My 70 year-old father-in-law just bought an ultralight and drove to Minnesota from Arkansas to get it and trailered it home.  Upon their return, I took the children to see it.  The ultralight looked like a little helicopter without the wings on it and my father-in-law was busy hovering over his new toy and my son, Sam, exclaimed as we drove up, "Look what Papa invented!"  I resisted the temptation to say, "Sam, that's not Wright!"
Tiff

My son Sam said that one of his teeth was hurting so I looked and discovered that he has his first loose tooth and I proudly announced it to the rest of the family.  While we were celebrating this fact my other son Parker (Sam's identical twin with no wiggly teeth) became teary-eyed and said that he would never lose a tooth.  I consoled him and told him the story of how I was weepy when Alexa lost her first tooth and how I would probably be weepier when my last child (Parker) loses his tooth.  My husband said to our children, "Mommy, gets so sentimental over these things." and I replied, "No, just dentimental."  Or that could be sentidental, I guess.
Tiff

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