Why I'm Unemployed
 

• I used to be a banker, but lost interest in the work. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a baker, but I didn't make enough dough. (Gunjan)
• I used to be a blackjack host, but was offered a better deal. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to work for Budweiser, but then I got canned. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a butler, but found the work wasn't my cup of tea. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a carpenter, but then I got bored. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients. (Lee) 
• I used to be a fisherman, but I got caught playing hooky. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to work for H&R Block, but it was just too taxing. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a hotel clerk, but then I had reservations. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a nun, but I got expelled because of my dirty habits. (Lee)
• I used to be a marathon runner, but couldn't stand the agony of de feet. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to work at an orange juice factory, but I was canned because I couldn't concentrate.  (Bad Puns)
• I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a road digger, but I got re-trenched. (Lee)
• I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive. (Gunjan)
• I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot. (Lee)
• I used to be a tailor, but found the work to be just so-so. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a taxi driver, but found I couldn't hack it. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a teacher, but found I didn't have enough class. (Gunjan)
• I used to be a tennis instructor, but it just wasn't my racket. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a train driver but I got sidetracked. (Gunjan)
• I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn't in it. (The Pun Factory)
• I used to be a Velcro salesman, but couldn't stick with it. (The Pun Factory)
• I considered going into the ministry but I didn't have an altar ego. (Gary Hallock)
• I tried working in a bakery, but was told I wasn't "bread" for it. (Felinity)
• I thought becoming a candle maker, but I wasn't sure wick end was up. (Donnowho)
• I wanted to be a stenographer, but they told me they are not short-handed at the moment. (Lee)

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